• Published 17th Jun 2015
  • 5,028 Views, 45 Comments

There's a Sparkle in his eye... - SweetyBelleluvsu



Great... Twilight has to work with Discord.... great...

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Can you be my Sparkle?

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I have recently discovered that chaotic magic can be used by unicorns. It was already known that alicorns could do a little bit but now we know that unicorns can. I am sending you all of the books on chaotic magic I could find. I am also sending you an "assistant" who knows very much about chaotic magic. He will arrive tomorrow at noon. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia


"He should be getting here soon!" Twilight said as she walked back and forth in front of the doors to the castle, "Prince- Celestia said that he would be here at noon! Surly he will be here on time- SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!"

"What..." The dragon called sleepily from his room upstairs.

"Do we have that room all prepared?!" Twilight called frantically, "What if he gets here and the room isn't ready?!"

"Then I'll fix it up later...," Spike called back, "I'm going to rest now because you had me clean the entire castle last night and rearrange all of the furniture!"

Twilight sighed. What on earth was she going to do if he didn't make it on time?! What if he didn't like the room?! What if he thought that she was stupid and just left?! What would Celestia say?! It was at that question that the door rang. Her head whipped in that direction before she galloped to the door. She smiled as she opened it then frowned to see that it was none other that Discord.

"Well," Discord said, "That's some welcome to get."

"Discord," Twilight hissed through her teeth, "What are you doing here?"

"Look," Discord said as he put his paw to his forehead, "I don't want to be here as much as you do. All I know is that Tia wants me to help you with chaotic magic."

Twilights eyes went wide before she groaned. "Great... I'm stuck with you for who knows how long."

"Gee," Discord said, "I wonder how that feels like."

Twilight rolled her eyes before motioning him to come in. "So, are we going to get started to get this over with or what?"

"Well Twilight," Discord said as he walked alongside her, "You can't just learn chaotic magic just like that. It takes much time to master. I'm a draquonicus and it took me ten years to master it."

Twilights eyes went wide. Ten years; she would have to be stuck with him for ten years?!

"Although I don't know how long it will take for a pony." Discord stated as they made it to Twilight's new library, "My, my! Look at all of these interesting books- where did you get that one?"

"What one?" Twilight asked with curiosity.

"The green one with purple polka dots?" Discord answered.

"That ugly thing?" Twilight inquired, "Celestia found that... somewhere in Equestria. I don't know where she did though. She just said that she sent me as many books on chaotic magic as she could find."

Discord stared at the book, not taking his eyes off of it for a second. Finally, he walked over to the book, grabbed gold of it, and sat down. Twilight was curious at why he was acting like he was. It was then she realized that he had started cry just by looking at it. This was not the Discord she knew.

"Discord?" Twilight asked tenderly, "What's the matter?"

No answer.

"Please," Twilight asked again, "What's wrong?"

Still no answer.

"Discord," Twilight said as she put a hoof on his shoulder, "Please, tell me what's wrong."

Again, no answer. Twilight was getting annoyed but was still concerned. She looked down at the book and gasped. The title of the book was, "The Chaos Family Album." A lump grew in the back of her throat. She now realized what had caused the tension between them in the past thirty seconds.

"Discord..." Twilight started, "I didn't mean to-"

He raised his paw to silence her. He then took his paw, and opened the book. The first page had a picture of two draquonici, a bride and groom, at their wedding. The next page was with the same two in front of a chaotic scene. The third and fourth pages were of the couple at a baby shower. Fifth page, the couple holding a small baby. the next ten pages were of the family growing up until the child's fifth birthday party. The last page had a note in it.

Dear Discord,

If you are reading this, you are grown and your mother and I are no more. I wanted to leave this note to tell you that we love you greatly. We always have, we still love you now. We want you to be happy. Go on, live a happy life and-

Discord slammed the book closed as he formed a blush.

"What was that for?!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Um, I- I-" Discord stammered.

Twilight took the opportunity she had, since Discord was temporarily distracted, to teleport the book to her. She quickly flipped to the page before Discord realized she had the book.

"Give that back!" Discord said as he scrambled to get the book, "What are you doing?!"

Twilight held Discord in her magic. "Look, you blushed. That is instant permission for me to read. Plus, I have more power over you."

Discord pouted. Twilight only rolled her eyes before she started to read the note again.

Go on, live a happy life and find that purple, unicorn mare you always saw in your dreams. You always said that you would find her and make her your one and only. Yes, I probably just embarrassed you one final time.

Your mother and Father

Twilight had a puzzled look on her face. Why would he want to hide this note from her- Purple, unicorn mare? She quickly looked at Discord who was blushing uncontrollably now.

"A purple, unicorn mare?" Twilight asked, "What is that about?"

He didn't look up when he said, "Every young draquonicus has, for one week, one dream each day about the one they would marry and be with forever... Draquonici are normally immortal... Please don't hate me..."

"Why would I hate yo-" Twilight started to say until the pieces finally fell into place, "Me?"

"You know what..." Discord said after Twilight set him down, "I'll just go." He started to walk out slowly until Twilight spoke up.

"Discord?" She started, "Wait."

Discord started to look back but was met with the lavender taste of Twilights lips against his. She quickly pulled away and blushed.

"Sorry," She started as she saw how dumbfounded Discord was, "I didn't mean to-"

She was cut off by Discord grabbing her face, gently, and kissing her. Her eyes went wide in surprise but soon her eyes closed as she fell into the kiss. When they finally came up for air, somebody coughed.

"Um," Spike said awkwardly, "I'm going over to Rarity's..."

Twilight blushed, "Oh, um, ok! See you later Spike!" Spike awkwardly left the room before Discord asked.

"That was interesting, wasn't it?"

"Yes," Twilight said with a sly smile on her face, "Yes it was."

"What are you thinking about," Discord asked when he noticed her smile.

"Oh," Twilight said with a giggle, "Nothing much."

Discord raised an eyebrow, "I see."

"Well," Twilight said with a blush, "I was just wondering... Want to have some fun?"

Discord put his paw on her face, "You don't have to ask me twice. But under one condition."

"What's that?"

"Be the Sparkle in my life?"

"Yes," Twilight said before kissing him, "Yes I will."

Author's Note:

new story! woot, woot! If requested, I can do a sequel for the "fun"

Comments ( 43 )

it's cute though Twidash is better

6101827 thanks! I, for some strange reason, feel the need to ship dash with D.D. (double diamond)

6101845 lol, didja read the authors note?

Well there's a shipping I haven't seen before. What made you want to write for this one? (sorry, just curious.)

Either way, I like it. I'm surprised at how smoothly this story went. Most shipping stories I've seen (then again, I haven't seen very many) tend to be awkward due to being rushed and/or the author haveing a sort of "romance deficiency"

Cool :twilightsmile:

6101917 Randoms happen when you are stuck in a car for 4 hours.

Ah, i felt it was a bit rushed. Twilight hate him and then suddenly kiss him? Story could use some expansion on why Twilight really care about him.

6102522 thanks for the advice! It really helps a weak writer like me. With all of the tips peeps give me, I should be improving every day! Thank you once again!

It was great! I felt like it was a little rushed, for two reasons.

1 - Twilight hates him, then suddenly loves him and agrees to marry him.
2 - The general process of the photo album was very quick.

Now, it was still a very good story with an interesting concept and new ideas. I think that if you don't Rush as much next time, you'll do great!! :pinkiesmile:

it was none other that Discord.

than

he had started cry

You're missing a word


TwiCord? I like it!

"Be the Sparkle in my life?"

This line made me smile.

Randoms happen when you are stuck in a car for 4 hours.

Ha, I was stuck in a bus for 14 hours. And yet I couldn't write more than 400 words of the second chapter of my random story. :facehoof:

I thought this one had a really nice setup, but fell over the edge into weaksauce town the moment you introduced the whole concept of "destined future love." I hate prophecies of future love, because they're cheating. Knowing who you're supposed to fall in love with shortcuts the whole process of discovering that you're in love, which makes the relationship seem flat and unbelievable. It's like love potion induced love; it has no reason, it's just there.

And the thing is, with your setup, you didn't need a future prophecy. Twilight finds Discord deeply annoying because she doesn't perceive his, well, equinity for lack of a better term -- she doesn't see him as a person, with problems of his own. But Twilight is a very compassionate mare; she's just not as sensitive as someone like Fluttershy. She can't see as easily that someone needs compassion, but once she does see it, she gives it. So Discord breaking down in front of her because he's recovered a lost relic of his family gives you a lead-in to have Twilight feel for him, and get him to talk to her about his childhood. Developing sympathy for him allows her to be set up with the ground work to fall in love.

I think you should take your initial setup, remove the ending with the whole "destined to fall in love with a purple mare" thing, and instead take it slower. Let the setup with the photo album lead into Twilight learning more about Discord and his history, demonstrate points of commonality (uncontrolled magic that they had to learn to control, strong interest in the mechanics of magic -- you've already set up that it took him ten years to master chaos magic, why not have him talk to her about his student days and give her something she can sympathize with?) Then, as they work together on the whole studying chaos magic thing, they end up falling in love. Give them a grounding to be genuine friends first, and develop from there.

It's like you had all the materials to bake a really awesome cake, but instead of baking a cake with them you poured them into a hollow plastic replica of a cake. Slow down a bit and try actually baking the cake. It seems like it could be really great.

it isnt bad xD only that a story with the possebility of up to 10k words if not even more is pressed in 1,4k xDD

6103691 huh, I just might do that! Thanks!
6103014 thanks
6103095 wow, thanks
6104117 I'm not good ay writing that much...

draquonicus
DRACONEQUUS!
Draquonici
DRACONEQUUI!

Whatever, it was a good one but I don´t think it deserves a fave.

6104964 HALLELUJAH! thank you so much! I had no idea how to spell it! oh... and that's fine if you don't fav it. I just want peeps to read it and give me tips on writing.

6104702 Anytime. :twilightsmile: I'd nitpick at your dialogue, but it doesn't bother me that much and the story is pretty good. Better than any shipfic I could write, for sure.

6104987 maybe I don´t fav it but someone will.Like I said, good one

6106325 :) Right now, I just want people to read my stories and give me pointers about the things I did wrong. Maybe this can help me improve my English. I only want to improve so that I can do the best I can

Good story but it felt rushed to me

6109129 thanks, and I am no good with my pacing...
6106488 any tips to help me improve?

6110106 you don't have to change anything just if you do another romance try to either make more chapters and have one have the relationship start as like they become good friends then the rest they start to get closer and then the end have them become a couple that's my tip to you just don't stop writing

6112620 who said I was stopping writing?

6113411 what i ment was continue working on it get better it sounds better in my head

I liked this very much I would like to read more. Disco light FOREVA!!!!!

Cute. My only issue is, the switch from "Oh no, I have to put up with HIM?" to "Hey, let's have 'fun'!" was very, very abrupt, with minimal explanation from Discord and Twilight didn't even try to fight it.

Twilight's disdain for Discord felt pushed beyond what it normally is in an effort to give the fic more tension and then it turned around rather quickly. It just felt a bit exaggerated and forced overall. :twilightsheepish:

6507132 who are you and his did you find this?...

6507161 ...I'm a fan fiction writer and this has been sitting on my read later list for a while...?

I would love to see a sequel! This was cute and I like the dream of your true one idea

This fic has some interesting ideas like Discord's parents and the dream that every draconequus has, but it just...it would have been better if it was longer to give the set-up, the climax and the ending time to breathe. Basically, this was just too short and abrupt. Therefore, only a thumbs in the middle from me.

Too bad, if this story was more developed, it could have been a great Twicord story.

7297776 I blame my tablet for this... lol. yea, i know those things, this is one of the worst stories i've ever written. i'm about to take it down....
wait..... who are you and how did you find me?!

7297801 Well, looked for a Twilight Sparkle story, found this story, checked it out and gave my honest opinion on it. Nothing more.:twilightblush:

I would love to read this if the plot was longer and more suspenseful. There are some great ideas written here, but the reader has like a few minutes to enjoy them. :fluttercry:

8265228 I know, :( when I wrote this I wasn't the best of writer's...

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