• Published 17th Jun 2015
  • 3,313 Views, 26 Comments

Cranks and Bubbles - guppygirl



A collection of misadventures through time and space, over which two ponies find themselves unexpectedly falling for one another. A Doctor Whooves and Assistant fanfiction. DerpyxTick Tock.

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Chapter One: The Best Night Ever

Author's Note:

All right, so first off, disclaimers.
I do not own:
Doctor Who. Rights go to BBC.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Rights go to Hasbro.
Doctor Whooves and Assistant. Rights go to Ponies with Pockets Productions.
The title. It's a shoutout to Pennoink, one of PwPP's musicians, and the song can be found here.

One final note - yes, I know the art is subpar. This is my first experience with digital art, so I'm still trying to figure out how to use the program. Any tips would be appreciated. Hope you enjoy!

The TARDIS whirred quietly, a gentle hum filling the air. The time-traveling trio had gone out on another adventure. While these “adventures” (or misadventures, as she liked to think) were fairly frequent, there was often a lot of down time between, so that the companions could rest and the Doctor could get his mind together after whatever carnage had occurred that time. Thus, the TARDIS did not always have much time to herself. She loved her silly little thief, and she was okay with the other two, as well, but she needed her private time as much as the next sentient being. With those three out and about, she was gladly taking the time to relax.
This serenity was shattered mere seconds later, when the doors banged open, and three panting, out-of-breath ponies burst through. Angry shouts filled the air behind them, indicating that, during their excursion, they’d run afoul of the wrong ponies. Again.

Derpy screamed as she caught sight of a barrage of encroaching arrows following them through the door. Catching sight of where she was looking, Tick Tock whirled, shouting, “Incoming!” His horn lit up with a green glow, and suddenly every arrow in the TARDIS froze in midair. Then, with a burst of light, they were turned around and flung right back at their assailants. The last arrow shot through the door just before the Doctor slammed it shut.
“Right then!” He gave the other two ponies aboard his ship a somewhat manic grin, an unholy glee lighting his eyes. “That was fun, wasn’t it?”
Tick Tock, out of breath, only glared at the Doctor as he sank to a sitting position on the floor, clearly thoroughly exhausted.
“Are you okay, Tick Tock?” Derpy asked, resting a gray hoof on the unicorn’s shoulder. Her warm golden eyes were lit with concern, once again reinforcing the Doctor’s view of the mare as the team mom.
Tick Tock nodded, breath finally beginning to even out as he explained, “I’m fine. Just a bit of a tiring spell.”
“Here.” Derpy offered a hoof to the seated pony, helping him to his hooves and over to padded chair of the console room.
Suddenly, a thudding noise of wood on wood echoed from the doors of the TARDIS, and the Doctor muttered something along the lines of “A battering ram, really?” Turning to his assistants once more, he said, “What do you say we get out of here, yeah?”
“Yes, please,” Derpy answered tensely. “How did we even get here, again? I still don’t understand what Saddle Arabia has to do with Genghis Cannon.”
The Doctor, as usual, snickered at the name as though he knew some joke the other two didn’t. Then. resting his hoof on a lever, he shot the other two ponies a warning glance. Immediately, they grabbed ahold of the nearest object they were certain would not move. The Doctor gave another almost-crazed grin. “Avante.”
He threw the lever just as the battering ram crashed into the ship’s doors once more, tipping the ship dangerously to the side. The Doctor’s grip on the console slipped, and with a shout, he fell towards the back rooms of the TARDIS, saved only by Derpy’s quick thinking as she let go of the console herself and swooped down to catch him. The two returned to the floor as the ship straightened up, now floating stably through the time vortex.
“All righty, then,” the Doctor declared, trotting over to the monitor on the console as though absolutely nothing out of the ordinary had happened with their entry. “I’d like to make sure that those warrior buffoons didn’t do any damage to the TARDIS’ woodworking, so how about we take a break from the adventures and land somewhere a bit more peaceful for a minute or two?”
“Fine by me,” Tick Tock answered through gritted teeth, stomach still doing flips from the bumpy ride. Though Derpy didn’t speak, her firm nod made it clear where she stood on the issue, as well.
“Then everypony hold on,” the Doctor declared, adjusting a few levers. “Canterlot, here we come!” He slammed a hoof down on a button just in time for everypony to grab a hold of something and brace themselves for another landing.

*o*o*o*o*

Canterlot. The thirtieth of the Strawberry Moon month, in the year 997 of Celestia’s reign. The Doctor was examining the blue doors of the TARDIS, which had withstood the battering it had taken, but had cracked in a few places as a result. Meanwhile, Derpy and Tick Tock had gone to a nearby café for lunch.
“Well, this is certainly a welcome change in pace,” Tick Tock commented as they looked over their menus.
Derpy raised an eyebrow at him. “Don’t like the adventures?”
Tick Tock blinked, startled. “Um, th-that’s not what I-”
Derpy giggled at his stammered, rushed attempts to take back what he’d said. “I understand,” she told him with a big grin. “After such a crazy outing as the last one, it’s nice to just relax for a while.”
Suddenly, a voice called out to the two. “Miss Ditzy Doo! Mister Tick Tock!”
Both ponies looked up to see a pink unicorn with a blue mane waving at them. Her violet eyes were filled with happy surprise and recognition, and she wore a black choker necklace with a frilly purple saddle that hid her cutie mark.
Tick Tock leaned just slightly toward Derpy, whispering from the side of his mouth, “Um, do you know this pony?”
“Not really,” Derpy whispered back. “Maybe we met out of order?”
The unicorn, meanwhile, was trotting towards their table. “My, how long has it been?” she asked with a big grin that didn’t quite seem real.
Tick Tock smoothly took over. “Much too long, good lady. It is a pleasure to see you again.”
The unicorn mare blushed, giggling. “Such formality, as always! You flatter me.” Straightening up, she asked, “So what brings you two to Canterlot this time? And where’s your friend?”
Tick Tock blinked, searching for a reasonable lie. “Erm…”
“The Gala!” Derpy suddenly exclaimed, remembering the date. At this point in the year, the hope of buying tickets to attend the Gala was not an unreasonable excuse to be in Canterlot. “We were hoping to purchase tickets to the Gala. The Doctor couldn’t come because he’s, um… under the weather, but we wanted to try to get the three of us tickets.”
Tick Tock shot the mare a subtle look of gratitude for her quick thinking as the pink unicorn nodded, understanding lighting her face. However, it seemed to be tinged with sadness, and it was soon clear why. “Oh, I’m sorry, dear, but I believe the Gala is all sold out of tickets.”
“Oh.” Derpy tried her best to act deflated, as though she really were disappointed.
Suddenly, the look of sadness on the mare’s face melted into one of merry mischief. “Good thing I always snag a few extras, just in case a friend from out-of-town arrives a little too late.” Reaching into her pocket, she produced three shimmering golden tickets.
Derpy’s jaw dropped at the sight, causing the pink mare to chuckle. “Here you go, then,” she said, holding the three tickets out to her.
Derpy flushed, waving a hoof. “Oh, no, I- I couldn’t possibly -”
“Please,” scoffed the unicorn. “This event can be dreadfully boring without anypony to talk to. I know for certain the three of you will lighten up the evening.”
When Derpy continued to hesitate, Tick Tock reached over and took the tickets . “Our sincerest gratitude, good lady,” he said, voice warm with the smile he couldn’t quite show.
The other mare smiled at him. “The pleasure’s all mine, dear,” she answered.
“Royal Ribbon!” A yellow unicorn at a table some distance away was beckoning the pink one to her. Royal Ribbon waved, then turned back to the other two. “I must be off, but I hope to see you there!” With a grin, she departed.
Tick Tock examined the three glittering golden tickets. “However we met that mare from her perspective, we must have left quite the impression if she’s just giving us these,” he commented.
Derpy took one herself, looking at the golden paper as if she just couldn’t quite believe she was really holding it in her hooves. “You think the Doctor would actually take us to the Gala?” she asked, voice filled with cautious hope.
Tick Tock flicked his ears towards her, his substitute for a smile. “With his eagerness to learn about pony culture? I’m sure he’d leap at the opportunity.”

*o*o*o*o*

“...so, what do you think?”
The Doctor had remained impressively quiet while Derpy had explained the situation to him. However, as she’d spoken, a more and more excited look had begun to spread across his face, until he was regarding her with an almost painful-looking grin as she finished. Almost as soon as she ended her explanation, he burst out, as though he’d been struggling to not interrupt her before: “You’re asking me if I want to attend a very important pony cultural event and meet lots of high-class ponies in the most heavily cultured part of your pony world?”
Derpy gave him an odd look. “...Yes?”
“Of course I want to attend!” the Doctor shouted, voice almost ear-shatteringly high-pitched with excitement. He shoved the door open and darted through, shouting back, “When is it? What date? What time?”
Derpy’s voice was bubbly with restrained laughter as she and Tick Tock followed the Doctor into the ship. “Doctor, it’s a formal event. You can’t just show up!”
The Doctor shot her a strange look. “Why not? It’s not like you’d have to dress up - you ponies don’t really wear clothes.”
“That’s for everyday,” Tick Tock pointed out. “For more formal events, especially ones like the Grand Galloping Gala, you do have to wear a more formal outfit.”
Sudden understanding lit the Doctor’s eyes. “Oh, right! Wasn’t that fashion show we saw a while back dresses for the Gala, Derpy?”
Derpy nodded. “Yup! The Gala is one of the most formal events of the year.”
“Hm…” The Doctor tapped his hoof against his chin. “I wonder if the clothes in the wardrobe changed when we came through?”
“Wardrobe?” Tick Tock raised an eyebrow at the Doctor. “You have an entire room for clothing?”
The Doctor huffed. “Well, it’s not like I’m lacking for space in here! You haven’t even seen a fraction of the rooms yet!”
“Settle down, you two,” Derpy chuckled. She knew that she probably shouldn’t be amused, but she remembered back before she and the Doctor started to get along as well as they did now, and it still made her smile to think of it. “You think the wardrobe might have changed?”
The Doctor grinned. “Worth a shot!” Taking off, he bounded into the depths of the TARDIS.
Tick Tock still looked confused. “Wait, changed from what?”
Derpy shrugged. “I don’t know, the Doctor says wherever he came from, the things living there looked like monkeys.” She returned his baffled look with an “I know, right?” expression, before tilting her head to beckon him and following the Doctor.
When the two companions found him, he was waiting rather impatiently outside of a door. “Well, there you are! Took you long enough.” He reached up and swept the door open with a flourish, and both Derpy and Tick Tock’s jaws dropped.

Sure enough, the clothing seemed to have mostly changed to accommodate for the equine form of the passengers on the ship, and there was a lot of it. Two sets of stairs led upwards and downwards to an entirely different story from the one they’d entered on, making it difficult to understand at a glance just how expansive the wardrobe was.
The Doctor tapped his hooves together in thought. “Hm, seems to have changed… if I remember right, they’re organized by time periods. Of course, where I came from, we have a very different way of measuring time…” He closed his eyes, thinking back to the kinds of fashion he’d seen at Rarity’s seconds fashion show, with the dresses Hoity Toity had approved of. “Seems like a lot of your formal wear is still somewhere around the Victorian era, if I remember correctly.” Opening his eyes, he pointed to the staircase downwards. “You should be able to find anything you need down there.” Turning to Tick Tock, he added. “In the meantime, I’d like to park the TARDIS in the right time and location, so if you could let me have the third ticket?”
“Oh, o-of course.” Tick Tock shook his head as the Doctor snapped him out of his awe at the sheer size of the room. He produced the ticket as per the Doctor’s request, and with a “Thank you!” the other stallion was off.
Tick Tock and Derpy shared a glance to confirm that the surprise and awe at the magnitude of the room was mutual. Then, tipping his horn to point at the staircase to the lower story, the unicorn asked, “Think it’s got anything more normal-looking than, well… that?” He pointed towards an oddly long, multicolored scarf (seriously, how does a pony wear that without getting his hooves tangled up?).
Derpy gave a small smile in response. “Only one way to find out.” She trotted into the room and disappeared down the staircase, Tick Tock following.
Just as promised, the clothing they found was about equivalent to what ponies would wear to formal events from roughly the return of Luna to back before Celestia. The two ponies parted ways as they reached the room where the dresses were hung, and with an amazed grin, Derpy stared at the room full of cloth. Never had she seen so much clothing.
Catching sight of a vanity in the back, she approached, rifling through the drawers. They were filled with hair combs and accessories, as well as different types of makeup.
Derpy glanced up at her reflection, wondering what to do with her mane. As she looked in the mirror, she couldn’t help the small sigh that escaped. Photo Finish was right; her eyes made her look a little goofy, and she was on her way to a formal event. Maybe she should try to cover it up.
Suddenly, a voice spoke from the back of her mind. “In my opinion, you shouldn’t look how other ponies want you to look. You should look how you want to look. Be your own pony, not what somepony wants you to be.”
A smile lit her face at the memory of Tick Tock telling her that, and how much better it had made her feel. And he’d been right. She’d have a much better evening with her mane comfortably pushed back than she would if it were constantly hanging in her face. With a resolved shake of her mane, she began to run a brush through it, planning what to do.

She’d just begun, however, when she began to hear strange sounds from outside the room. With confusion clouding her face, she emerged from the doorway to find the Doctor and Tick Tock standing out in the hallway.
Her look of confusion immediately contorted into one of horror. “Oh, sweet Celestia, what are you two wearing?”

*o*o*o*o*

The Doctor paced impatiently in the console room of the TARDIS. “What is taking that mare so long?” he complained.
Tick Tock sighed. “Doctor, it’s only been twenty minutes.” To be fair, the two stallions had cut into her preparation time, what with her having to stop and show them how to dress for the time period and culture.
“Feels like forever,” the Doctor moaned. Tick Tock rolled his eyes - the other stallion was clearly not used to having to wait for things, and he was acting rather like a foal about it.
Light, rapid hoofsteps announced the presence of the third member of the trio. “Sorry for the delay!”
“Finally!” huffed the Doctor. He and Tick Tock turned to greet the mare, and were both momentarily stunned into silence.

The Doctor snapped out of it first. A grin lit up his face as he declared, “Derpy Hooves, you are looking beautiful today!”
Derpy’s face immediately flushed bright red. “O-Oh, well, thank you, Doctor,” she stammered. With a giggle, she added, “I don’t know about beautiful, though…”
“The Doctor is telling the truth.” Tick Tock’s eyes were trained firmly on the ground as he spoke. “You look rather lovely.”
Derpy’s blush spread to the tips of her ears. The mare was not used to receiving so much attention… well, other than the time she dropped all those heavy things on that poor unicorn…
The Doctor suppressed a grin at his companions’ awkwardness. “So!” Trotting to the door, he pushed them open, indicating the decorated Canterlot street lying outside. “Shall we?”

*o*o*o*o*

Derpy had always heard stories of the Gala. She’d been told time and time again about the beauty of the event, the high-class ponies, the ever-watchful gaze of the princess. But there was nothing quite like seeing it with her own two eyes.
Walking through the big front doors of the castle, the three ponies glanced down the hall at the line of ponies. Upon seeing the pony they were lined up to meet, all three stopped to stare.
It may have been three days in the past, but from what little Derpy had seen of the princess, she hadn’t seemed to have aged a day. The Doctor drew in a slow breath - he’d only seen Celestia once, and after her stint as the Cyber-Queen, she wasn’t exactly in top form.
On her other side, Tick Tock was watching the princess with a rapt, fascinated look on his face. It suddenly struck Derpy - though she’d only known him for a short time, she’d heard him invoke Celestia’s name on multiple occasions. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, trying to gauge his expression from the side. Was he happy to see the Princess in pony? Was he angry that she hadn’t sent more troops to help the fighting in Neighers while he was alive? It was difficult to say, even for a pony like Derpy, who could usually judge his expressions quite easily.
The Doctor, to nopony’s surprise, was the first to break the spell by speaking. “She greets everypony who enters?” he asked, voice quiet so as not to disturb the quiet conversations.
Derpy nodded. “If you have the patience to stand in line long enough, sure.”
“Well, I’m game!” the Doctor declared. “What about the two of you?”
Derpy was about to respond when a now-familiar voice called, “Miss Ditzy Doo! Mister Tick Tock! Doctor!”
She turned, smiling when she saw Royal Ribbon waving. The unicorn mare was wearing a beautiful purple dress with gold bows and shoes, and a big grin was lighting her face upon seeing them.
Sensing Tick Tock hesitate beside her, Derpy said from the side of her mouth, “Go ahead and meet the Princess if you want to. I’m going to go have a chat with our friend.” Without giving them time to answer, she trotted over.
Royal Ribbon reached out as Derpy arrived and placed a hoof on the mare’s shoulder, holding her out at foreleg’s reach for inspection. This time, her grin was genuine as she declared, “My word, Ditzy Doo, I think you just might be the belle of the ball tonight!”
Derpy blushed once again. “Oh, I don’t know about that…”
Royal Ribbon shook her head. “Oh, no, my dear, believe me - you are radiant tonight.” Shifting her violet eyes over to the two stallions she’d come with, she asked, “The boys want to meet the Princess, huh?”
Derpy nodded. “Yeah. The Doctor’s something of a traveler, and he loves learning as much as he can about the culture of each new country.”
“Oh, he’s not from Equestria?” Ribbon shot Derpy an intrigued look.
“Oh, no, he’s… Bittish,” Derpy quickly fibbed.
“Ah!” Ribbon pointed her hoof at the pegasus. “I thought that’s what his accent sounded like!”
Derpy smiled awkwardly, grateful that the mare had bought the lie. Then again, she couldn’t escape the slight pang of guilt born of having to lie to such a kindly mare.
“Come on!” Suddenly, Ribbon hooked a hoof around Derpy’s, tugging her towards the crowds grouped around the ballroom. “You must meet some of my friends!”
“Ah, w-wait-” Derpy tried to answer, but before she could really protest, she was whisked away.

*o*o*o*o*

Several minutes later, Derpy finally managed to get away from the crowds. While she enjoyed making friends as much as the next pony, she couldn’t help but feel a wave of relief to have an opportunity to get back to her other friends.
It didn’t take long to locate the Doctor. The brown stallion was darting around the room, pestering random ponies as he spotted anypony who seemed interesting. Derpy smiled, rolling her eyes in easygoing amusement as his behavior.
It took a little while longer to find Tick Tock. He didn’t seem to be chatting with any of the ponies she saw. Finally, she caught sight of his bright ginger hair - at a table, by himself.
Her brow furrowed. Turning towards his table, she trotted over.
“What are you doing over here, alone?”
Tick Tock had been lost in his thoughts, and hadn’t even heard her approach. He glanced up, startled, and found himself, once again, with her honey-gold eyes trained on him, concern lighting them.
“Oh, I’m all right, Derpy,” he quickly reassured her. “Just… thinking.”
Derpy grinned, settling herself beside him so that her skirts weren’t crumpled. “What did you think of the Princess?” she asked softly.
Tick Tock huffed a laugh. Of course the mare could immediately tell what was on his mind. “I’m… not really sure what to think,” he admitted. “I mean, on the one hoof, we fought in Neighers for years to protect her and her subjects.”
“And on the other?” Derpy prompted gently.
“On the other…” Tick Tock sighed. “I just can’t help but think that if she’d sent more troops, my fa- ...General Lionheart might not have died in that fight.”
Derpy’s face softened in sympathy, and she set one gold-shod hoof on his shoulder, casting about for something to say.
Suddenly, a new song, a waltz, began to play from the pit, and the mare suddenly got an idea to change Tick Tock’s mood. Standing, she wrapped her hoof around his, tugging gently. When he raised his eyes to meet hers, she smiled. “May I have this dance?”
Tick Tock’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly - the widest he could muster - and he automatically pulled his hoof back. “Th-Thank you, but no thank you, Derpy. I’m afraid I’m… quite literally dead-hooved.”
Disappointed, Derpy pouted for a moment as Tick Tock’s gaze, once more, dropped away. She opened her mouth to speak again, but suddenly a voice interrupted. “Excuse me…”
Derpy turned to the new speaker, and her eyes widened with surprise. It was a familiar pony - a blue unicorn with a top hat. “Oh!”
The unicorn’s gaze met hers with an odd sort of merriment, and he subtly indicated for her to be silent, before she had an opportunity to say more. She blinked, surprised. The only reason she could think of that he wouldn’t want her to make it clear that she knew him was because Tick Tock didn’t, but she couldn’t see why that would matter…
Sweeping his hat off, the stallion bowed. “My name is Top Hat, my lady. May I inquire as to your name?”
Oh, right. She hadn’t ended up telling her her name the last time. “My name is Ditzy Doo,” she answered, playing along even if she didn’t fully know why. “A pleasure to meet you, Top Hat.”
Placing his hat on his head once more, Top Hot lifted the mare’s hoof. “Oh, no, the pleasure is all mine,” he answered, and pressed his lips to her hoof.

Straightening, he smiled at her blush and continued in the same warm, friendly tone, “Now, I hope I’m not being too forward, but I saw you over here and couldn’t help but wonder… why isn’t a beautiful mare such as yourself dancing?”
Derpy couldn’t help but giggle. “Um, well, I was trying to convince my friend here to dance, but…”
“Oh!” Immediately Top Hat backpedaled a few steps. “My sincerest apologies, I didn’t realize-”
“It’s fine,” Tick Tock spoke up suddenly. “I was going to say no - I can’t dance, anyway.” He gestured to her with his hoof. “You’re right - she should be dancing. Don’t let me stop you.”
Derpy blinked, startled. She hadn’t heard him use such a sharp tone of voice since she’d met him in Neighers. “Tick Tock, what-?”
Tick Tock stood abruptly. “If you’ll excuse me.” He trotted away, Derpy watching after him in confusion. Where was he going, and why was he acting so strangely?
“Well.” Top Hat, beside her, seemed just as confused. “He’s certainly an odd one.”
Most days, Derpy would have attempted to defend the stallion. Today, she simply sighed. “Yeah…” Turning to him, she said, “Speaking of odd stallions, why didn’t you want me to talk to you like I recognized you? I know we’ve both met each other for the first time by now!”
Top Hat winked at her. “Ah, but your dear friend Tick Tock hasn’t! I find that when I walk into a conversation with a pony already knowing everything about them at our first meeting, it tends to unnerve them. Better to play dumb at the first meeting, and save the heavy stuff for later run-ins.” With a grin, he turned towards the dance floor itself. “In any case, I would like to talk to you privately… so would you care to join me on the dance floor?”
He offered a hoof to the gray mare, who hesitated for a moment. “Er…”
She looked up at him, and saw nothing but friendliness in his eyes. Deciding she could trust him, she placed her hoof on his. “Sure.”
With a smile, he led her to the center of the floor. The waltz that had originally inspired her to invite Tick Tock to dance was ending, but Top Hat locked eyes with the cellist and gave her a small nod. A look of understanding flashed through her violet eyes, and she quickly led the band in another.
Turning back to Derpy, he reached over and rested one hoof on the back of her neck, pulling her just closely enough to speak without others hearing - a sign that he intended to lead. Derpy, meanwhile, stepped forward, pressing her foreleg against his to steady him on his three-legged stance.

Once they were close enough to converse privately, Derpy blurted out the first question to come to mind: “So how do you time travel if it isn’t your special talent?”
Top Hat’s eyes widened momentarily with surprise. Then he laughed aloud, eyes crinkling in a genuine smile - the kind she wasn’t used to seeing anymore. “Ah, my dear bright-eyed mare, you don’t need to have a special talent in time to travel. Though I won’t deny that it can certainly help.”
“O-Oh. That makes sense.” Derpy felt herself flushing for having made such an odd mistake. After all, she and Tick Tock time traveled just fine.
During the small moment of silence after her comment, she suddenly noticed that the dance floor was filled with other twirling couples. The soft swishing of fabric over the marble floor filled the air, accompanying the music without drowning it out, and Derpy realized that she felt as though she were Cinder Heart, from that old fairy tale.
She never thought she, of all ponies, would get to live in a fairy tale.
Top Hat brought her back down to Equus by speaking again. “So where, exactly, are we in meetings?” he asked, tone hushed.
“Huh?” Derpy looked at him with confusion for a moment. Thinking back, she said slowly, “Well… we met once in the future, when Cyberponies had captured Celestia, and you gave us the hint that since Canterlot runs on solar energy, Celestia’s disappearance wouldn’t have caused an instant blackout like it did…” Her gaze was directed to the side as she tried to recall, and so she missed the fleeting look of surprise on the stallion’s face - apparently he hadn’t lived through that experience yet. “...and then we met once in the past, in Neighers. You said that was your first time meeting me.” Her eyes flicked back to meet his once again, indicating that she was done.
“So this is your third time meeting me,” Top Hat summarized. Derpy nodded in answer.
Top Hat looked troubled. “There’s something I was hoping you’d already experienced, that I wished to discuss with you.” Then, in a lighter tone, “Ah, well, no matter.” Grinning at her, he continued, “No reason we can’t chat and have a good time regardless.”
Derpy nodded, awkwardly casting about for a topic to talk about. Then, abruptly, she said, “So the Doctor told us he had a run-in with you while we weren’t there.”
Top Hat gave her a vaguely apprehensive look. “You mean… the time with the kelpies?”
Derpy nodded again, allaying the blue unicorn’s fears of accidentally spoiling things for her. “I think he might have over-exaggerated his part, though. What really happened?”
Top Hat hesitated for a moment. When she gave him an odd look, he said quickly, “A-Actually, why don’t we talk about something else? You’ve heard at least one version of the story already, no fun in telling a story we both know.” Tone evening out and resuming his normal pace, he continued, “Tell me what, why don’t you tell me where you were?”
“Oh. Erm…” Derpy’s ears tipped back just slightly in discomfort, remembering that particular little adventure. But when she looked again into the unicorn’s warm, friendly gaze, she found the whole story just tumbling out of her mouth. She felt a weight being lifted from her chest as she spoke, and it struck her - she’d never realized fully just how stressful it was, going on these adventures and not being able to share them with anyone.
Top Hat was a good listener. He nodded, laughed, and offered sympathetic looks in all the right places. When they finally finished, Derpy looked up to see that they were receiving weird looks and realized that they had just waltzed through a foxtrot and two faster-paced songs.
Top Hat, however, seemed unfazed by the odd looks. Releasing Derpy’s shoulder, he smiled and said in a low voice, “I think you made a pretty amazing Doctor.” He gave her a small bow, normal thanks for dancing with him. Derpy bobbed in a curtsy in return, whispering, “Thank you.”
The tranquility was promptly shattered by a scream.
All around the room, heads whipped around to stare to the doors into the castle. The ruckus grew louder and louder… and suddenly the doors burst inwards.
The whole doorway was filled with a huge group of what looked kind of like diamond dogs, except that they had pony-shaped back legs and were wearing blue armor and carrying something that looked almost like a weapon.
This final assessment was confirmed as the blue-armored things pointed their handheld devices into the room and fired.
Screams erupted once more as ponies were struck and fell all around the room. Everypony in the room turned as one and began to run in the other direction, pushing and shoving deeper into the palace. Celestia was shouting, attempting to maintain order, but it was impossible to hear a word coming out of her mouth.
A strong hoof wrapped around Derpy’s foreleg, pulling her to the rest of the crowd. Top Hat was trying to yank her along with him. “Come on!”
When her head snapped around, he released his grip on her leg and took off running in the same direction as the rest of the crowd. She quickly followed, opening her wings to take to the air and try to find her friends, but found the crowd battering her from all directions. It took only seconds to lose sight of Top Hat.
A laser just missed the edge of her wing, singing the tips of her feathers. Derpy yelped, glancing back to see what had happened.
Her momentary distraction was her undoing. Somepony stepped on her skirt, and when she tried to continue running, there was the sound of ripping fabric and a scream, and suddenly she was on the floor.
She heard Tick Tock’s voice through the crowd. “Derpy!”
It was too late. She looked up just in time to find herself gazing into the barrel of a weapon. She closed her eyes, waiting for the worst…
...only for somepony to leap in the way.
Derpy’s eyes flew open to see Top Hat standing in front of her. He’d created a shield with his magic, deflecting the laser back into the face of her attacker. While its helmet seemed to shield it from the worst of the damage, it staggered back, stunned for a moment.

Top Hat pulled Derpy to her hooves. “Run!”
Before the thing that had attacked her had time to recover, they raced away, darting through the doors of the adjacent room just before they were closed and barricaded.
“Ditzy!” The Doctor raced over, Tick Tock hard on his hooves.
For half a second, Derpy could have sworn she saw a look of disgust on Top Hat’s face. But then it was gone, leaving her to question what she’d really seen.
She was jarred out of these thoughts when the Doctor grabbed her jaw, forcing her to look at him. “Are you all right?” he demanded, worry clear in his tone.
Derpy laughed nervously. “I-I’m fine, Doctor,” she said, giggling. Her face was warm. Oh. She wasn’t laughing, she was crying.
The Doctor, with a sad look on his face, pulled her into a close, tight embrace. “I am so sorry, Miss Hooves,” he said quietly in her ear, voice rough. “I had no idea there were Sontarans in this universe, or that they would be here.”
“You’ve seen these before?” Derpy asked, choking back her tears to the best of her ability.
The Doctor sighed. “Unfortunately, yes.”
Derpy pushed back, brushing away the tears still on her cheeks. “Good. Then we can help.”
The Doctor, taken aback, blinked at her. Then a smile broke out across his face. “Of course we can.” He clapped his hoof on her shoulder, repeating, “Of course we can.”
Over his shoulder, Derpy saw Tick Tock standing. For a moment, she didn’t understand why he looked vaguely angry. Then she realized that he wasn’t looking at them - he was glaring at Top Hat. Unfortunately, it was a revelation that just left her even more confused.
Before she could ask, there was a pounding at the door, and everypony’s heads turned towards it. Silence filled the room - they were too scared to even scream.
Then a booming voice echoed through the doors, destroying the hopes of anypony inside. “Beings of Equus, you have ten minutes to give in, or we will enter, and you will all die for the glory of the Sontaran empire."