The swordstallion Valor Edge has just appeared on the doorstep of Sweet Apple Acres. While Applejack is trying to learn about Valor's past, Twilight is investigating a strange golden light she noticed the night before. But as soon as she finds some clues, she is suddenly attacked...
Author's note: Reformated and reedited it a little. No major changes
Interesting beginning mate. There are however, some points in this chapter where the words could be re-fraced for the better feel of the reader.
Also some 'comma' marks are missing, or kind of misplaced. ( This is my feeling, but than again, I could be wrong as well. Since I'm no native to English either.)
Other than that, good beginning for Valor.
Cheers mate!
6096039
Thank you.
Indeed the commas are an issue, I'm not sure how to handle really correctly.
And as I'm writing and translating at the same time I always search for the best words and by that I may be exaggerating... If so, feel free to suggest words more fitting.