• Published 14th Jun 2015
  • 13,474 Views, 96 Comments

In Which Sunset Shimmer Hypnotizes Her Friends - Qiscord

Sunset Shimmer shares a special gift with the Mane Six via hypnosis. Kinky hypnosis.

Comments ( 30 )

Just because one aviation model is wrong for bees doesn't mean we can't calculate how it fli-

Dammit, I've been nerd sniped!


It'd be funny if this were the actual end for the fic



Any updates on the next chapter? Or must we use the bees on you some more?

7141059 I'm not quite dead yet! Don't worry; the next chapter's close to done. I'm simply having trouble deciding between two story options. Once I've made my choice, you'll see more from me.


Do you want help bouncing ideas regarding this choice?


Don't worry; the next chapter's close to done.

That was 10 weeks ago, I doubt of your claim of not being dead


Have you had enough time to decide yet?

7142456 I hope you're not cancelling this story. Personally I'm hoping for a happy ending. Maybe a 'Mistress Twilight' ending.

I'm not.
Things are kinda complicated right now; to be honest, I'm thinking of rewriting this thing - not changing the plot or anything, mind you - just going through it, chapter by chapter, and making it better. It'll take a while, but I'm not dead yet.


I hope you're not dead! Or if you are, that you get better and feel happy!

Omfg this chapter cracked me up xD:rainbowlaugh:

this storys dope, if theres no more thats cool bt ill be following either way

One Suggestion for your potential Re-write effort: Add in some extra scenes/chapters involving Sunset (and perhaps Fluttershy) having fun with Pinkie Pie and Rarity's programed personas, either separately or together, somewhere before the reveal made in Applejack's chapter. It would help draw out the pacing of the story, and provide a short-cut for getting straight to more clop since the two have already been hypnotized; after-all, if half the fun of subverting another's free will is the journey, the other half is enjoying the destination.

Also, additional scenes with Slut and Whore would give the audience a few more chances to enjoy "evil" Sunset before the events of the second Interlude chapter; it would also, in my opinion, make Pinkie Pie's and Rarity's lingering fascination with their experience, and their desire for Sunset to repeat it, seem more likely.

Otherwise, I'm really enjoying the story your spinning here. At first it seemed like a fairly straight forward excuse for some kinky sex among the cast of Equestria Girls, with a dominating Sunset as the central driving force. Then you add a layer to the already tasty cake, sending the story in a completely new direction with the reveal that this fic includes a dose of Sunshyne, and that Shy shares Sunset's Hypnotism fetish. Things take yet another turn when it's discovered that the cake is lie, and that Sunset was secretly hypnotized by Fluttershy; before the story gives us whiplash at the next turn, and we learn that the cake was not a lie, it was just evil (and baked by Adagio).

Very much looking forward to more chapters and/or the re-write.

Thank you for the great story, and hope all is going well for you.

Good luck with your life then I hope you come back at some point

when can we expect the next chapter?

When. Are. You. Gonna. Finish. This.

Seriously. It's been way to damn long...and the plot is so deep and fascinating.

And how watcha look at that, it's already 3 years of waiting.

Of course, I'm not forcing, but rather, provoking, or, in other terms, advising you to please finish this once and for all.

But, how long will it take, I will wait. No cost to great.

any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?

Comment posted by unfortunately yiff deleted April 13th

For what it's worth, the issue how "how do bees fly" has been answered. The hairs on them give just enough vortex movement of the air to reduce the air resistance enough to permit flight.

(Ok, that's highly simplified, but essentially correct.)

I hate it when good stories are abandoned.

Not abandoned. Just... sleeping.

At this point it's more like a coma.
But things are still happening! Just very




It has been abandoned since it has been 4 years since the last update; it is not Dead yet, but you did forget about it.

The full answer is that it's because the initial calculation showing they can't fly was for fixed-wing lift. Bees can fly because their wings move.

If you ever continue this, you better give this a happy ending. I'm warning you.

A story is not dead as long as the author's existence continues. Until the onset of sudden author existence failure, the story has the potential to continue. We've had resurgences after 5 years, we could get one after 6 or 7.

*PLEASE*, use past tense, not present tense. It really does make a difference.

If you want to rewrite, and need editors, please ask. Given that you went from "pure clop" to "Hey, there's plot", the ability to actually expand on earlier sections, perhaps improve some of the inductions given more knowledge/experience now, add in some foreshadowing, etc -- there's plenty of potential.

Or, you could just say "I'm a better writer now, my ending will be better than my starting".

Login or register to comment