Fantasy is more important than Reality. Always believe in Fantasy, lest you be lost to the frozen plains of reality.
ON HIATUS UNTIL EXISTING CHAPTERS ARE REWRITTEN
The CMC are having a sleepover at Applejack's house, when they hear some music coming from the EverFree forest. When they reach the source of the music, what would they find, but a carnival! But something is off, the fouls talk in a droning voice, without any emotion, the rides look like they could kill, and there is something just not right about the owner.
Cover by SandJosieph, used with permission
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Some parts seem a little rushed and could have been elaborated on. Looks like it could be a fine read if some details were expanded on. Keep it up, I look forward to see where this goes.
I'm liking how the Cat doesn't really have any idea what it means to be a pony. Is Big Macintosh going to play a more heroic role further on in the story? It would be nice if there were more stories that had Big Mac in the role of the hero.
...Beetlejuice? BEETLEJUICE?! BEETLEJUICE?!
664775
...
eh?
668958 The guy there looks like Beetlejuice. You must be young or never saw the cartoon to not know him.bryonysbrain.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/beetle-juice_michael-keaton_striped-suit_mid-bmp-1-732x600.jpg in the movie
seeklogo.com/images/B/Beetlejuice-logo-5D5E308E2F-seeklogo.com.gif in the cartoon. The cartoon is very funny.
669508
I know who he is
but...
why?
670319 Can't you see the similarities?
670491
I...
umm...
0_0
ummm
THINK FAST MUSTACHE ACTIVATE!
672640onewomanonemillion.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Denied.gif
674926
Okay this story has caught my attention and it has earned three out of four moustaches
688415
:)
As soon as I get some more inspiration for it
it will get 4
A spider leading fillies into her web.
She's a beldam.
So your the one who made Carnival Cat?
1533395
Nope!
I am the one who is making the (semi) official back story though!
I am sooo glad someone decided to make a story for the song cant wait for more this gets 5 moustaches.
1539129
You didn't have to wait that long, about -4 months!
...
Because I started it about 4 months ago
also, OH MAI GAWD MUSTACHES!
1535026
That's "Officially Approved"! XD
I like it ^^ Cant wait for chapter 3 ^^ <3
Well, I certainly know a thing or two about writer's block. A good way to help get through it would be to reread what you already written, even if it doesn't help you form the next step of the story in your mind it can help you notice little mistakes you made, and also help keep story continuity when you're writing. Also having a plan for what you want to portray in future chapters is good, the challenge would be filling in the gaps between major events. Those are just some ideas anyways.
Now, something to keep in mind, and maybe something you'd want to do. The flow of your fic seems a bit cluttered, mostly due to the blocks of text. Its grammatically proper to start a new paragraph when the speaker changes or when the subject changes. There is nothing wrong with having a line with just a few words in it.
Like this.
In fact, it can be used to emphasis certain things.
That said, the story itself is engaging, and you have a great character of interest, who while being the villain is also the star of the show, so to speak. A suggestion would be to make her seem more catlike in mannerism, especially when and if she starts flirting with Big Mac. When she's pleased with something, make her say things with a purr, or just purr in general, or hiss when she gets angry. Cat naps in the sun, etc etc. I guess I could try and brainstorm with you on where to take the next chapter if you wanted. This does seem like a very interesting and chilling fic, and I'd love to read more.
is it possible to have writer block that last this long?
Well from what I got from the song and seeing all the pictures, Cat is lonley and wants Big Macintosh to stay with her and will destroy poneyviell if he doesn't. You can write about that
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWTMr2BGHb4
HOLY SHIT! NEW CHAPTER :OOOOO
Nice story! Please don't make us wait for more! :c
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Saddle up!
IMA UPDATE EVERY 1-2 WEEKS!
Hopefully
Cool story bro, but you need to separate your sentences instead of mashing them together. Whenever someone new starts to talk that's your signal for a new sentence.
3420929
*squee* Yaaaay!
No update this week
NEXT WEEK FOR SURE
PROBABLY
MAYBE
ehhh
EDIT:
No updates for the past 3 weeks due to constant health, school, and family issues. Life can sometimes suck, as I write this after being awake for about 38 hours for the sole reason as my health is as crumbly as a cornmeal muffin
My first thought when i saw the Cover Image was 'Courage the Cowardly Dog.' Why? I have absolutely no idea, something about the picture reminds me of that show
the story is dead ?
4666399
I'm sorry for how horrible I've been with updates, but I do plan on finishing this
... Eventually...
The title reminded me of goosebumps