- Member Since 24th Oct, 2014
- offline last seen April 1st
Brony_Headbanger
Metal music, guitars, and model electric trains. Rainbow Dash is best pony!
Brony_Headbanger
Joined 24th Oct, 2014 ·
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Excellent story, my friend! Have a like and a fave.
6085248
Thanx man. Glad you enjoyed it.
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/rsroleplay/images/4/40/I-approve-baby-with-pipe-meme.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140219004357
There is some grammar issues but other then that I think it's pretty good. I enjoyed it
nice story headbanger!!! I like that it actually had story unlike some other you made... no offense.
EEEP!!! I love stories like this one soooo much! : D
I have no idea why but teasing gets me so hot!!!
I love it! It's sweet, steamy, grammatically correct for the most part, and 20% cooler than some other stories I've read~! I LUV IT! : D
...
Also I'm in a really good mood today lol
This made me laugh for a good ten seconds.
All in all, this was an awesome story. Love that people are still making more of these and I love it even more when I find them
Well, heres my verdict. The writing, while solid, is basic. Lots of simple phrases and metaphors, nothing really jumps out. Needs a proof some words were mispelled and grammar errors ect ect, but it wasn't dreadful.
The story was... uninspired? I'm not trying to sound like a jerk, but on this site humanXpony fics, espically oneshots are dime a dozen, you really need to make yours have a great hook if you want it to jump out at the reader.
Also, why was Scootaloo living with dash? That isn't canon and im assuming you put that in there, just because you like the idea but in a story you need to learn to keep unnessacary details out of it. Having Scootaloo live with Rainbow Dash didnt really offer this fic anything, and furthermore unless its super important to the plot, it shouldn't be something thats just casually thrown in there. There was zero explanation for why she was living there in this story.
Overall, while not the greatest story it does show that you have the potential to write good stories, even great ones. Just keep at it and youll have a featured fic in no time
Also. Some advice; lose the dark and edgy sonic avatar, makes it hard to take you seriously
i must have been very thirsty
6091071
Wait a minute. Scoot's doesn't live with Dash? I didn't know that, or I must of forgotten about that. Idk.
The grammar is a little sloppy in places and some parts are worded strangely.
You could do with having someone proof read it.
The story its self is cute, fun, romantic and the clop was pretty hot.
6097218 one thing that bothered me, how did anon, a human, walk on clouds without the cloud walking spell, or did I miss something here???
Sir, I'm not usually up for RD stories of any kind but…
Damn, this was really good. Aside from some minor typos you managed to write one hell of a good straightforward story for an excellent pairing. I loved it, so please keep writing because you have a great talent for it!
6156253
Thank you very much, man.
Excellent story! It was a great read! I am defiantly going to suggest to friends!
6091071 while you bring up good points, an author can add something even if it's not Canon, you make it sound like he has to make it Canon. If Brony_Headbanger wants to have scootaloo live with RD, then so be it, that's the beauty of writing fanfiction
6412725
LOL. Good point.
6412725
I don't have an issue with scoots living with Dash and if the author wants to put that in his or her fic that's intently their prerogative. What im trying to say is that fics shouldnt go into unnecessary detail about things that arent relevant to the plot. Its why fics don't go into detail about the protags commute to work, because its just not important.
If this is a hieXdash fic. Then Scootaloo really isn't important is she? Unless of course she is vital to the plot in someway, but she wasn't in this fic.
Pancakes for breakfast, you're mad!
That line is a reference.
6532016
LOL.
I really like this story apart from 1 tiny thing
mlpforums.com/uploads/monthly_12_2012/post-5726-0-03182300-1355660709.jpg
What stairs?
6974437
LOL. I know Sky Pegasus Readings. He's an awesome reader. I'm really glad he read this story for YouTube.
6974869
Yeah. I love that song so much.
I finally tracked this done, Sky Pegasus deleted his channel so had had to track this wonderful story down to read it I'm glad this didn't get taken down not that it would but I'm glad I found this