• Published 11th Jun 2015
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Celestia's Rocket Adventures - Snake Staff



Celestia winds up in the Pokemon universe. And captured by Team Rocket. Oh dear.

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One Step Forward

“Well,” said Giovanni’s image, a few hours later. “I will admit that I wasn’t expecting to hear from you three so soon. I trust that you have something for me?”

“Yes sir,” said James, holding up one of the stolen documents. “We were able to obtain these from agents of Team Flare.”

“Scan them,” their boss ordered.

Jessie, James, and Meowth did as bid immediately, holding up the pieces of paper to their projector one by one. It took a quick reading of each one, beeping affirmatively each time. In distant Kanto, Giovanni could be seen looking down at a small handheld computer, nodding as each document was scanned and transmitted to him. His eyes flashed over each in sequence.

“The Laverre Poke Ball Factory?” he asked.

“Giovanni, sir,” Jessie answered. “We have reason to believe that Team Flare is presently planning some kind of attack on this facility, the largest in Kalos.”

“I see,” Team Rocket’s leader said. “Three possible motivations are presently apparent. One is that they wish to damage or destroy the factory, greatly diminishing the region’s supply of Poke Balls for months, for their own reasons. Two is that they wish to steal unregistered Poke Balls en-mas directly from the source. As you should know, all criminal organizations use them to avoid the existence of any kind of legal record concerning their Pokemon. But the process of removing the registration from purchased balls is difficult, and time consuming. Stealing them fresh from the assembly line is far more efficient. As to Team Flare’s third possible motivation for such a move,” Giovanni closed his eyes. “There is the possibility that the factory is the site of some project of which Team Rocket is not aware – a new type of Poke Ball, perhaps. They may wish to gain a monopoly over such a thing. Hmmm…”

There was a moment of silence as Giovanni considered, Celestia watching the conversation play out from a distance.

“Whatever the case, I’m sure that it doesn’t need to be said,” his eyes opened again. “That I expect you to put a stop to this.”

“Sir, yes sir!” the trio snapped off a salute.

“You should be aware that I am taking measures to increase Team Rocket’s presence in the Kalos region. However, due to the need to do so without Team Flare’s awareness until we are ready, the buildup will take longer than it normally would.” Giovanni folded his hands together. “In the meantime, continue to monitor the actions of our foe, and alert me should you learn anything more.”

“Of course, boss!” Meowth declared. “Anything ya say!”

“Very good,” he nodded. “Giovanni out.”


Still later in the day, Celestia watched the countryside go by from atop Team Rocket’s balloon. The inflated fabric was strong enough to hold her weight and then some, despite the occasional ribbing she had endured over her cake-eating habits. The princess was seated comfortably, her eyes taking in everything that happened as best they could. She found that she preferred her waking moments during travel up here, though her Poke Ball still seemed a more comfortable place in which to sleep. The scenery was gorgeous, and the wins and sun felt simply divine against her fur.

Of course, comfort was far from the only reason for her choice. Her first and most important goal was to return home as swiftly as possible. Equestria needed her. Her ponies needed her. Her sister needed her. For that to happen, she needed to learn as much about this world, its technology, and its magic as she could. Getting the lay of the land from on high wasn’t a bad way to acquire some knowledge. As a secondary priority, she was keeping an eye out for anything that looked like Team Flare. This world wasn’t hers, but that hardly meant that she wouldn’t do whatever she could to prevent it from being devastated by some superweapon. This Giovanni had sounded sincerely concerned about the possibility, and the princess found herself inclined to believe him.

“Hey,” Celestia’s ears twitched as she heard Meowth’s voice from below. “Dis looks like a good spot! What do you guys tink?”

“I think it’s a perfect place for a little late lunch!” Jessie agreed.

“A picturesque picnic in a meadow on a warm spring day,” James said. “What a marvelous idea!”

“Let’s eat!” cheered all three.

Shortly thereafter, the balloon began to descend slowly towards the ground below. Celestia got to her hooves and stretched her wings as far as they would go, then walked to the edge of the balloon and peered down. They were indeed coming down onto what looked to her like a beautiful, flowery meadow. There were yellow and white flowers blooming in every direction, while a crystal-clear stream ran almost dead through the center. The princess’ keen eye could even make out tiny white and yellow Pokemon that seemed to be floating in the air atop flowers of various colors. These scattered in all directions as Team Rocket touched down.

“A wonderful place to take break after a well-earned victory!” declared Jessie with a smile, stretching her arms.

“And chow down on some grub!” added Meowth, who was carrying a picnic basket.

“It’s such a nice day that we can hardly leave our Pokemon out of it!” James pulled a Poke Ball out. “Inkay, come on out!”

“Right,” Jessie tossed two into the air. “Wobbuffet! Pumpkaboo! You too!”

All three of Team Rocket’s remaining Pokemon appeared on the scene just as Celestia hopped down off of the balloon. With all three of the trio working relative harmony, their lunch took shape in short order. They spread out a blanket, poured drinks, and dished out sandwiches and fruit cups. Next, they removed several bowls from the basket, along with a can. They filled the dishes with the brown pellets that had proved far more appetizing than they looked.

“Some for you, for you…” Jessie sat down a bowl in front of Pumpkaboo and handed one to Wobbuffet.

“And for you,” James gave a bowl to Inkay. He looked over at where Celestia had sat down in the flowers and smiled. “Hey Celestia!” he waved. “Come on over and sit down with us!”

“Very well,” she said, getting to her hooves and walking over.

Celestia sat herself down on the blanket beside James and Inkay. The human placed the bowl of food on the ground in front of her, and then sat down himself. Without any magic or limbs with digits on them, Celestia had to eat in manner reminiscent of an animal, lowering her face all but into the bowl and using her tongue to shovel food into her mouth. On the one hand, it felt somewhat demeaning and little improper to be doing this. Even if she wasn’t believed, she was still a princess and it befitted her to carry herself like one. On the other, there was always something appealing about shedding the more onerous aspects of royal decorum and cutting loose. It was a very liberating sensation.

Also, she was hungry.

The princess practically buried herself in the food bowl, gobbling up the Pokemon food with an almost undignified sense of haste. Half of her felt embarrassed at what she was doing, the other half almost reveled in it. No one here cared whether she looked the perfect, regal, “all-powerful” sun goddess or not. After millennia of nearly unbroken public decorum, save at most a few private moments with her sister, it was honestly a rather nice change to cut loose every once in a while.

After she had scarfed down her meal like a ravenous wolf, Princess Celestia closed her eyes, sat back, and gave a satisfied sigh. For a moment, she allowed all her troubles to slip away and simply basked in the sensations of the moment. The sun was warm, her belly was full, the ground was soft, and a cool, gentle breeze carried the sweet scents of countless thousands of flowers in full bloom right to her. For just a moment, life was good.

Then the princess felt the familiar sensation of a gloved hand running across the top of her head. She folded her ears down accommodatingly, allowing James to get behind them easily. The sensation was as relaxing and pleasant as it had been since the very beginning. If Celestia hadn’t already been feeling thoroughly mellow, she was then. A tiny part of her pointed that this made her seem a bit like a pet, but at that instant she could honestly say that she didn’t care.

It continued for a while – Celestia wasn’t exactly sure how long – in that fashion. For a time she was content just to sit there and enjoy it. But slowly, inevitably, the gears of her mind began to turn again. It occurred to her that here, the expectations were so different she could safely do things that she would never dare risk back in Equestria. So it was that, eventually, Celestia had an idea. A terrible idea. A terrible, awful idea. A terrible, awful, embarrassing, transgressive, utterly un-royal idea. Naturally, she promptly decided to execute it on the spot.

Celestia rolled over onto her back and gestured. An enormous bead of sweat rolled down the back of James’ head.

“You… You want me to give you a belly rub?”

Celestia nodded.


About an hour later, Celestia stood with James in the center of the flowery meadow, wings extended to their full length, showing off her best aggressive battle pose. Behind her, her trainer stood with one hand balled into a fist, a determined look shining in his eyes. Both faced a crudely-drawn cardboard cutout of a Pikachu.

“Alright, Celestia!” James pointed dramatically. “Uuuusssee… Psychic!”

“Aaarrggh!” the princess cried out, focusing all the power she could muster into her horn, willing nothing less than the total disintegration of the target.

Nothing happened.

“Aaaa…” James and Celestia simultaneously twitched, and then collapsed backwards into the dirt. They laid there, motionless, for a little while.

“Uh…” James was the first to sit up, making a rather strained effort to sound positive. “Forty-eighth time’s the charm?” he suggested.

Celestia sighed as she resumed her hooves, shaking her head.

“Don’t tell me you’re giving up already?!”

“I don’t think that this is working, James.”

James got to his feet. “That’s not a Team Rocket attitude at all!” he half-shouted. “Team Rocket never gives up! Through sun and rain and sleet and hail and hurricanes and erupting volcanoes and apocalypses and Whirlwinds and Fire Blasts and Hyper Beams and endless Thunderbolts from that horrible twerp and his Pikachu, we’ve never once faltered in our mission!” his eyes burned with a fiery passion worthy of Moltres itself.

“You… lead a very interesting life…” This time, it was Celestia who had a huge bead of sweat roll down her head. “Remind to ask you more about some of those later…”

“You’re one of us now, Celestia! And that means you never give up, no matter how insanely hopeless the situation might look! No matter how ridiculously stacked the odds are against even the smallest success on your part, you keep pressing forwards! Never look back! Even if everyone says you’re an idiot for continuing!”

“You’re not doing me any favors, you know,” she sighed.

“Now then, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to turn around, face down the twerp’s Pikachu, and kick it right up the-”

“JAMES!” Jessie’s shout cut off her partner mid-rant.

“Yes?” he called back. “What is it?”

“It’s time ta go, birdbrain!” Meowth yelled. “We got places to be, a boss to impress!”

“Coming!” he turned to Celestia. “I’m sorry, but it looks like we’ll have to cut this training session a bit short.”

“I’m not,” she replied, hanging her head a little. “I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one day.”

“There there,” he scratched her ears again. “I know how disappointed you must be. But don’t worry, I’m sure that we’ll get it next time. Just you wait and see!”

“Do you mean that?” she looked him in the eyes.

“Really,” he said.

“…Good enough,” Celestia shrugged. “Thank you for that.”

“James, if you and your little horse aren’t back in this balloon in the next thirty seconds I swear you’ll be riding it all the way to Laverre City!” Jessie shouted from the balloon’s basket.

“Alright! Alright! We’re coming!”

James broke into a sprint, Celestia close behind. He jumped inside the basket just as it was beginning takeoff, with perhaps a second to spare. The princess, having wings, was a bit less hasty than her trainer. A few quick flaps took her to the very top of the balloon, where she settled back down to watch the departure.

The Meowth head balloon lifted off from the pleasant meadow where they had eaten, gaining in altitude rapidly. Swiftly, the meadow below faded into a small green blob set against a much larger green and brown backdrop. Team Rocket was taking their ride higher than usual, to the point where even the princess’ keen eyes were straining to pick out any useful details. Celestia was just beginning to consider going down and asking to return to the Poke Ball for a nap when she felt the wind beginning to pick up. Before it had been cool and pleasant, up here it was starting to feel rough. Perhaps even dangerous.

Celestia hopped off and glided easily down to the basket. “Can I ask what you’re doing? Why is this so much higher than before?”

“Hmph,” Meowth crossed his arms. “We’re takin’ a shortcut. What’s it to you, newbie?”

“This wind seems powerful,” she offered.

“Ya tink I don’t know dat? While you and James over dere were off skippin’ through da flowers, me and Jessie did some real work. We looked over a wind chart and found da quickest way up north ta Laverre.”

The air currents became even more intense, starting to whip not only Celestia’s mane, but the hair of both the humans as well.

“Isn’t this a little strong for a balloon that you just patched up only yesterday? Perhaps descending a bit might be less dangerous?”

“What’s going on?” Jessie asked. “What’s it saying, Meowth?”

“Dis here Pokemon is questionin’ our navigatin’ skills,” he answered. “She’s sayin’ dat she tinks da wind up here is too strong for us.”

“Too strong for Team Rocket?!’ Jessie clenched her fist. “The nerve! No mere breeze can best us!”

“I’m only trying to keep your safety in mind. A faster route is no good if you plummet to the ground in the meantime.”

“What do you even know about flyin’ a balloon, anways?” Meowth demanded.

“Well, back home in Equestria I actually own an airship and-”

“Dere ya go! Talkin’ all crazy again about some other world where you’re a princess!” Meowth put his hands in the air.

“Is it going off about its loony fantasy world again?” Jessie asked.

“Yep!” Meowth nodded.

“Why do we always end up with the weirdos on this team?” she sighed.

“That’s the way it is!” said Wobbuffet, bursting out of his Poke Ball and saluting.

“Oh no, not you too!” Jessie jabbed the ball at him. “Return!”

Wobbuffet vanished again in a stream of red energy.

“Now look here, little miss pony princess,” said Jessie, getting directly in Celestia’s face. “You don’t make the decisions around here, I do! Got that?!”

“But I only want-” Celestia began, only to get cut off.

“Meowth, is it still challenging us?”

“You bet!” he nodded.

“I thought so,” Jessie folded her arms. “Take us higher, Meowth!”

“What?!” James piped up.

“I’m going to prove that your little Pokemon friend is wrong, and I’m going to do it by taking us safely through even rougher winds!” she declared.

“Jess, are you sure that’s a good idea?”

She ignored him. “Higher, Meowth!”

“You got it!”

Meowth pulled the balloon’s burner, and it quickly began to rise even higher. Celestia had never been one to fear heights (obviously) but as they pulled upwards she started to have some inkling of what that feeling would be like. The winds at this high altitude were even worse than the ones before, whipping through Team Rocket’s balloon at breakneck pace. Their howling quickly drowned out all but the loudest of noises.

It only took half a minute for the balloon to begin to rock.

The Meowth balloon was not, to be generous, the most stable or well-constructed hot air balloon in the universe. Having been destroyed, repaired, and destroyed again more times than its owners cared to count, it was not exactly suited for roughing it through the worst of weather. That was why it was so quickly afflicted as Celestia had feared, shaking back and forth unsteadily in the rough, high-altitude wind.

And then her worst fear came to pass.

JAMES!!!” screamed Jessie, Meowth, and Celestia in perfect unison.

The overpowering windstorm had shaken Team Rocket’s balloon enough to send James toppling backwards over the basket’s side. Jessie and Meowth reached out their hands and frantically grabbed for him… and both missed.

James fell from the balloon and plummeted, screaming, towards the distant earth below.

For Celestia, time seemed to freeze. Her heart was racing, her bloodstream a whirling maelstrom that was almost more chemical stimulant than actual blood. Her friend – the first friend she had made in this crazy, messed up world of Pokemon – was at that very moment falling to certain doom. And without her magic, there was absolutely nothing that she could do to stop it. That was… that was…

Unacceptable.

She was Princess Celestia, Diarch of Equestria, Sol Invictus, called Dawnbringer and Mistress of the Sun. No matter where she was, no matter what had happened, she would not simply sit idly by and watch a friend perish. No matter what foolish humans or Pokemon thought, she was an immortal of power beyond anything they could imagine. Very few things could be said to be truly beyond her. And this was not one of them.

As the fiery essence of her power welled up inside of her, Celestia found that she knew exactly what to do.

Several hundred feet down from Team Rocket’s balloon, the screaming, flailing James suddenly found himself enveloped in a golden aura. His descent slowed, then halted, and then miraculously reversed itself. The rather perplexed member of Team Rocket found himself being drawn right back to where he came from, like a fish on a hook.

As he drew close, James saw that the usually purple eyes of his newest Pokemon had become glowing orbs of solid gold. He was sat down into the basket with great care, at which point the eyes’ shine faded and the aura dissolved away into nothing. At which point he was promptly rushed by Jessie and Meowth, who wrapped him in hugs tight enough to rival an Arbok’s Wrap.

“Don’t you scare us like that!” Jessie cried, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Yeah, we tought you was a goner for sure!” even Meowth was crying, though he’d probably deny it later.

“It’s alright guys, really!” James assured. “I’m fine, see?”

“Yes, well…” Jessie sniffed and wiped her cheeks with one hand. “Meowth, take us down right away.”

“Aye aye,” he answered, triggering a rapid descent almost immediately.

As the Meowth balloon climbed down to gentler, less stormy parts of the atmosphere, James looked to Celestia.

“It was you, wasn’t it?” he asked.

She nodded.

James walked over and looked her in the eye. “You used Psychic, didn’t you?”

“I suppose I did, didn’t I?”

“Thank you!” He hugged her around the neck. “I knew you could do it!”

Celestia put one leg around him, hugging as best an equine could. “You’re quite welcome,” she said with a smile on her face. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

At that exact moment, both Jessie and Meowth mysteriously stumbled and fell flat on their faces, while James was too busy to notice. A cynic might have claimed to have seen the slightest of glints in the princess’ eye.

But it was probably just the wind.

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