• Published 11th Jun 2015
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Celestia's Rocket Adventures - Snake Staff



Celestia winds up in the Pokemon universe. And captured by Team Rocket. Oh dear.

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A Gift

It was early the next morning. The sun was slowly rising again, casting gentle rays across the damp, muddy, humid forest. Many of those Pokémon that could still stand were up and about, looking for breakfast or looking after their fellows. And an alicorn princess was pounding on the head of a giant metal Meowth.

“Come on, up and out with you!” Luna half yelled over the clang of hoof on metal. “Dawn has already come and gone! There are introductions to be made and much work to be done! So rise up!”

There was no immediate response.

“Do you not know that we are at war?” she demanded. “Is this how things are done in this dimension – chase off a problem once and then forget it exists?”

“Judging by how many times Team Rocket has gotten away from police custody?” Twilight asked. “I’d say yes. Definitely.”

“You are not helping, young princess,” Luna said as she continued to knock.

“Sorry.”

In the end, it took several more minutes of concentrated pounding and shouting, but eventually Robo Mega Meowth’s armored chest slid open again. Down the stairs slowly trudged a motley assortment of humans and Pokémon in varying stages of half-asleep. With eyes only halfway cracked open and pausing every so often to yawn, the faces staring down at the alicorns seemed anything but happy campers.

“…for goodness’ sake what is it?” the woman with the long magenta hair yawned. “You’re interrupting my beauty sleep.”

“It’s not even six o’clock in the morning yet,” the young black-haired boy mumbled, rubbing one eye.

“Exactly! That is what makes it the perfect time to begin the day!”

“Meowth… translation please?” the blue-haired man managed.

“She’s sayin’ she’s crazy and we should all just go right back ta bed,” the white cat Pokémon said.

LIAR!” Luna’s voice boomed with enough force to wake the dead or throw a little yellow Pokémon off the boy’s shoulders and into the mud.

“Okay, we get it!” the taller woman clutched her ears. “Your name is Luna! Now what do you want with us at this horrible hour?!”

“What I desire is twofold,” Luna said. “First, I wish to make your acquaintance and thank you properly for what you have done. Secondly, I wish to speak with you regarding future coordination against our mutual enemy.”

“Urgh…” Meowth groaned. “She’s sayin’ she wants to be all buddy-buddy and den talk with us ‘bout fightin’ dose Flare guys.”

“Can’t it wait ‘til a little later?” the blond-haired boy asked, rubbing his glasses.

“Nonsense, there is far too much to do!” Luna raised a hoof high and flared her wings. “But before we begin the most serious tasks, I would introduce myself. I am Princess Luna of Equestria, Diarch of the Night, Maiden of the Stars, Guardian of Dreams.” She gave a slight but formal curtsey. “I would also ask that you do me the courtesy of naming yourselves.”

This time, when Meowth translated for her, the two older humans looked at him, and then at each other. There was just a moment’s pause.

“You don’t think…” the taller girl amongst the children began.

“Prepare for trouble, you don’t know who we are?” the magenta-haired woman began, backflipping with sudden energy to strike a pose.

“And make it double, we’re the best here by far!” the blue-haired man echoed, as he too flipped into a pose.

“Here we go again,” the small blonde girl sighed.

“To protect the world from devastation!”

“To unite all peoples within our nation!”

“To denounce the evils of staying quiet!”

“To extend our reach and cause a riot!”

“Jessie!”

“James!”

“Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!”

“Team Flare beware, we can’t lose this fight!”

“Meowth, dat’s right!”

“Wobbuffet!”

“And Celestia, shining bright!”

The white alicorn had seemingly appeared from nowhere to stand in their midst, foreleg posed in a suitably heroic fashion and a pearly white grin on her face. Luna just stared. The others groaned.

“Do you guys have to do that every time?” the black-haired boy yawned again.

“There’s nothing that gets the blood pumping quite like reciting the motto!” James raised his fist in the air. “Now we’re up and ready to win the day!”

“That’s right!” his two teammates cheered.

“Wobbuffet!”

“Your minstrel performance is quite well-rehearsed and your acrobatics are superb,” Luna commented. “And your passion for your art is obvious. You ought to consider becoming performers in lieu of a life of crime.”

“She tinks we’re great, so ‘dere!” Meowth taunted the younger group.

“Marginally biased translations aside,” Luna shook her head, looking at the others. “I should also like you all to introduce yourselves if you please.”

“She says go ahead an’ talk, twerps.”

“Well, I don’t have a motto, but I’m Ash Ketchum,” the black-haired boy said. “And this is my buddy Pikachu.”

“Hi,” said the little yellow Pokemon in between trying to clean mud out of his fur.

“I’m Serena, it’s so nice to meet you!” the taller girl said.

“I’m Clemont, leader of the Lumiose Gym.”

“And I’m Bonnie, here to make sure my big brother doesn’t get into any trouble.”

“Bonnie…” Clemont groaned.

“I am well pleased to make your acquaintance, friends of my sister,” Luna nodded at Team Rocket, “and friends of young Twilight,” she nodded at Ash’s group. “I wish to thank you all for taking care of them, and for coming to aid in battle. It means a great deal to these Pokémon, and to me.”

“Well, we did single-handedly turn the tide of battle with our flawless mech,” Jessie had her arms folded and a grin on her face after the translation. “So I can see why you’d feel that way.”

“Yes…” Luna nodded. “I wished to reward you as is only proper, but unfortunately I currently lack any lands or noble titles to bestow on you, or even base currency.”

“Cash ain’t ‘base’ unless yer rollin’ in it.”

“What I do possess is this.” Luna unfurled one of her wings and pulled back on some feathers. There, nestled amidst the dark plumage, was a shining rainbow gemstone.

“That’s what’s known as a Key Stone,” Twilight stepped in to explain. “Typically embedded in some form of object, it’s one of the requirements to trigger Mega Evolution. But it’s not the only thing, you also need a Pokémon of a species capable of it that possesses the appropriate Mega Stone. But even more important than that, you need a strong bond of trust and affection between a human and the Pokémon you want to evolve. Wild Pokémon never undergo this rare phenomenon.”

“Unfortunately, as young Twilight says, Pokémon not trained by humans cannot undergo this process for some unaccountable reason.” Luna sighed. “Thus, despite the proven power of this gem, it is of absolutely no use to me or any of mine. Therefore, I have decided to bequeath it to you instead, as the best reward I have available. I apologize if it seems trifling for saving many lives, but it is all I have to give.” The alicorn bowed her head just a little.

“I know it’s sudden, but do any of you have any Mega Stones?” Twilight asked all of them.

Blank stares and scratched heads were all that greeted her. Some even looked down at their feet.

“Sorry… but no.”

“None here.”

“I wish I did.”

“Can’t say I’ve got one.”

“I’ve got to go with no.”

“That is truly fantastic,” Luna muttered. “We come into possession of an extremely rare treasure as spoils of war, and no one possesses the means to actually use it.” She sighed. “All the same, I did promise it to you.”

The dark alicorn looked over the humans once more, then flicked her wing towards Team Rocket. James caught the shining jewel in one black-gloved hand, then stared incredulously at it.

“It was your machine that came to our aid,” she explained. “Therefore, it seems fitting that if none of us may use it then you should have the gemstone in reward.”

“Hey, let me see that!” Jessie snatched at James’ hand, then held up the Mega Stone in front of her face. “This would look great as the centerpiece for a tiara! And you know where a tiara would look best? On my head!”

“Hey, back off!” James snatched it back. “I caught it, so it’s mine and it’s going in my collection!”

“A jewel like that deserves to be flaunted, not gathering dust with your stupid bottle caps!”

“How dare you insult my bottle caps?! I’ll have you know they hold the world record for how polished and shiny they are!”

“Dat robot is shaped like me and I was doin’ most a da pilotin’!” Meowth butted in. “So I say dat pretty stone belongs ta me!”

“No, it’s mine!” Jessie yelled.

“You’re both wrong, it’s all mine!” James shouted back.

As Team Rocket fell to squabbling with one another over the Key Stone, Luna simply gave another sigh. Twilight and Ash’s group stared with somewhat exasperated and/or sleepy expressions. Beside her sister, Celestia watched with a slightly concerned look on her face as Fury Swipes was brought into play.

“Well, at least they all seem to like your reward,” Celestia said, then winced.

“I simply hope they do not have a falling out over a mere trinket,” Luna replied. “Because unless fervent wishes have the power to trigger Mega Evolution, it is of no true use to any of them.”


“They’re not coming out,” Spearow said. “I mean, like at all.”

“So they are making no efforts to sally forth and counterattack?” Luna frowned. “Nor are they increasing patrols about their base? Nor engaged in any form of defensive fortification?”

“Uh… no?” the little bird ventured. “Look, all I saw was that there were maybe two humans in red suits hanging close to the rocks today, not nearly as many as before. And when I took a look at that small human town not far away? Totally empty. I didn’t get too close, but not a single soul to be seen there.”

“Surely their losses were not so great as to force them to abandon the surface altogether,” Luna said. “Even with our new allies they still have formidable numbers.”

“Maybe they all ran away?” Spearow cocked its head.

“An unplanned mass exodus in the dark? And the pouring rain? With their woodsman skills?” the dark alicorn snorted. “That is hardly something we could miss. No, they must still be present beneath the earth. The only question worth pondering is why.”

“Okaay…”

“Pulling back their exterior defenses opens the way for us to choke off their lines of supply. No matter how well-provisioned their fortress may be, they cannot supply hundreds of humans and Pokémon indefinitely. If we can establish an effective cordon then we may simply wait until hunger and thirst do our work for us,” Luna tapped her hoof on her chin. “And surely they must know it. So, once more we return to the question of why. Are they planning some trap to draw us in? Do they have reinforcements of their own on the way? And why render the nearby village a ghost town?”

“I propose another alternative,” Celestia spoke up. “We know that their intended objective is to wipe out all life not themselves. And, from what Mable’s minions told us, we know that their trump card is located beneath Geosenge Town, though they did not know the whole of what it is. Perhaps they make ready to use it.”

“But if that is so, why now?” Luna asked her sister. “Why attempt to confront us conventionally if they already possessed the means to scour the forest away to begin with?”

“I don’t know,” Celestia frowned a bit herself. “Perhaps they didn’t, or it isn’t working properly, or they only just obtained some necessary component. Whatever the case, I doubt they’re simply waiting to be besieged and starved out. If they’re hunkering down, it’s because they have some sort of plan.”

“Then we must have one of our own,” Luna declared. “We begin by locking down all roads and trails in and out of the area. This time there will be no reinforcements, and no escape.”


“There we are,” Lysandre smiled gently as he pried the small, irritating shard of stone from between Gyarados’ scales. “Is there anywhere else?” he asked, applying an expensive Full Restore to the small wound. “Any more pain?”

The massive blue sea serpent shook his head gently. In the depths of Team Flare’s ultimate stronghold, even his normally bright scales were tinted by the dull red lights.

“Good as new then,” Lysandre said, walking calmly up to jaws big enough to swallow him whole and stroking one white cheek fin. “You ought to be proud, you know. Not many Pokémon alive can say they’ve fought Xerneas and Yveltal both and come away victorious.”

Gyarados gave a low, throaty grumble.

“Don’t be ridiculous, no one else could have done better. They’re both Legendary Pokémon, embodiments of the cycle of life and death. That you couldn’t beat the both of them by yourself on your first try is no slight against you.” Lysandre continued to pet his Pokémon, now scratching behind his head crest. “You were everything I could have asked for and more.”

“Dos?” came a surprisingly slight hiss.

“Of course I mean it,” Team Flare’s leader smiled again. “Don’t you know me too well by now? I’d never lie. Not to you.”

Gyarados paused for a moment, seemingly considering it. His eyes and head slowly wandered up towards the ceiling, staring meaningfully in one particular direction. Lysandre winced as he followed its gaze, knowing well at this close range such powerful energies could not be concealed.

“I can’t hide anything from you, can I?” He continued to pet Gyarados’ scales, but his smile began to fade away. “Yes, we’re close. Everything is completely ready. We’re just waiting on the last of our people to return. Days at most. Perhaps even hours.”

The great serpent’s gaze turned, and Lysandre found himself staring into a red eye as large as his head. It said nothing. It didn’t need to.

“Yes… Once the weapon has been unleashed and the new world is coming into being…” his eyes were starting to water. “It will be time for our goodbye.”

Gyarados nodded once, bobbing his massive head in a slow and solemn manner. His gaze shifted away from his trainer, looking forwards again.

“You know I have to do it.” Tears began to creep slowly down Lysandre’s cheeks. “The world can never be free from violence as long as Pokémon exist. It’s too… too bound up inside.” He wiped his face with one sleeve. “Of you. Of me. Of all of us. Utopia can’t exist while that bond between us does. It has to be expunged, and there’s only one way.”

His Pokémon nodded once again.

“Naturally, you know,” Lysandre smiled faintly even as he continued to weep. “You’ve known for years this was inevitably coming, only now that it’s almost here I…” he hesitated. “I just don’t know if I can do it.”

This time the reaction was immediate. Gyarados whipped around like a striking serpent, incredibly fast despite his vast bulk. Lysandre staggered as the scales he had been leaning on became a sudden blue blur, but a white tail fin caught him. He blinked away the worst of the tears to discover that he’d been surrounded, encircled by the bulk sea dragon’s coils. Gyarados’ head brushed up against the ceiling, and for the first time he looked genuinely angry. He bared his fangs and gave a deep, rumbling growl.

“Of course I don’t want our work to be for nothing!” Lysandre shouted up at his Pokémon. “I know what has to be done, but…” he looked down. “But I want to be a little selfish in the end, is that too much to ask? I want to keep you and Pyroar and Mienshao and Honchkrow and all the others! Greedy, arrogant, entitled people are ruining the world, not you! Why must they take you from me?!” He pounded one fist ineffectually on Gyarados’ hard scales. “It isn’t fair!”

Gyarados lowered his head down to just above Lysandre’s and let out another low grumble. This one, strangely enough, was almost reassuring.

“Yes…” Lysandre swallowed, nodding slowly. “You’re right. We’ve known about this for years, it just always seemed so far away. Now that we’re almost here…” More tears were sliding freely down his face.

Gyarados gave one more nod. Lysandre put his hand on the sea serpent’s belly.

“I’ll miss you.”

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