Underground
Jessie, James, and Meowth waited with baited breath as their quarry approached. Far below the under-construction office building the trio were hiding in, a man sporting the unmistakable uniform of Team Flare turned a corner off the main road and began meandering slowly down a back alleyway. It was difficult to tell exactly where he was looking between the darkness of night and his sunglasses, but it evidently wasn’t up.
“Pumpkaboo,” Jessie whispered, “Leech Seed.”
The ghostly pumpkin-shaped Pokemon floating over her head opened its mouth and spat out a handful of tiny seeds. They shot downwards swiftly and silently, giving the target no warning. When they were almost on him, the seeds exploded into a massive tangle of green vines that wrapped themselves around the Team Flare man. He barely had the chance to let out a surprised, muffled grunt before the seeds did their true work and began sucking his energy. Pumpkaboo glowed softly as she received it, and within a few seconds the man below toppled over, unconscious.
“Good work, Pumpkaboo,” Jessie smiled, holding up a Poke Ball. “Now return and get some rest. I want you in tiptop shape in there if anything happens.”
“Boo,” Pumpkaboo nodded briefly before disappearing.
“Alright James,” Jessie continued after putting the ball away, “since that was a guy it looks like you’ll get to play dress-up first.”
“I’m on it.” James stood up. “Just make sure you have the hair care ready when I drag him back up here.”
“Got ‘em right here!” Meowth held up some orange dye and extra-strength hair gel.
“And I’ll stay on lookout,” Jessie declared. “Look out Team Flare, here we come!”
A few minutes and another mugging later, a man and a woman in Team Flare uniforms walked into Lysandre Café, ignoring the “Closed” sign on the door. The well-dressed girl behind the counter looked up from her magazine, took a quick look around the empty café, and then scowled.
“You’re back late,” she said. “Your rounds ended half an hour ago, where were you?”
“Well you see…” began the man.
“We found this adorable stray!” The woman cut him off, holding up a dirty-looking Meowth. “It came right up to us so hungry and smelly and wanting to play, and we simply lost track of time.”
“Meowth,” the cat Pokemon glared briefly at her.
“Never much liked cats,” the woman behind the counter eyed it distastefully. “But if you’re going to keep the thing at least get around to catching it. You know Mable is allergic. Keep it in a ball if you have to have it.”
Meowth glared at her too.
“Well we do need to report back in,” the man scratched the back of his head, “but there’s just one isty-bitsy problem with that. We… well…” he shrugged.
“Ugh…” the counter woman rubbed her forehead. “You mean to tell me that you morons forgot the passcode, again?”
“Y-Yes, that’s exactly what my partner here is saying!” the woman exclaimed, just a little hastily. “So if you’d just be a doll and let us in we’ll be happy to get out of your hair.”
“Why is that all the new hires are dumber and dumber?” The woman grumbled as she walked out from behind the café’s counter. “I swear a single-digit IQ must be a new job requirement or something.”
The woman walked over to s seemingly innocuous section of wall next to one of several bookcases, then pushed with one hand. A small, square section of the wall went backwards, then easily slid up to reveal a keypad. Still mumbling under her breath, she punched in a series of numbers in quick succession before rounding on the trio.
“For the fourth time this month, the passcode is 52468!” She sighed, then hit the enter key. “Try not to forget it this time, or I might just decide to throw you buffoons out of the café altogether.”
The two offered a salute as the closest bookshelf slid to the side, revealing a metal double door behind. This too slid open after a moment, exposing a long staircase descending deep into blackness.
“Well go on,” the counter girl said, hands on hips. “Aliana is going to be furious that you’ve messed up her schedule again, I’m not going to be a part of whatever tongue-lashing she decides to give you.”
The man and woman looked at each other, nodded, and then walked down through the open portal without a further word.
“Well, we’re in,” Jessie whispered, as the double doors sealed shut behind them.
“That was easier than expected.” James added. “All we had to do was walk in the door!”
“Well don’t get too cocky just yet,” Meowth, struggling to keep pace with all four legs, said. “We’re in da front door but we still gotta long ways ta go.”
“Right,” the two humans nodded.
The stairs led down, down, down further into the blackness. The lighting was minimal, the sunglasses both Jessie and James wore made it worse. It was slow going and these stairs clearly reached under even the Lumiose subway system. By the time they finally reached a wider, better-lit area almost a full minute had passed.
Jessie, James, and Meowth maintained carefully neutral expressions as they walked directly into Team Flare’s secret underground laboratory. They were alone, trapped far beneath the surface, surrounded by hundreds of enemies, in a place where no one could hear them cry for help. Each of them could feel just a faint sheen of sweat on their faces, and it wasn’t just from the substandard air conditioning.
“There you are!”
The trio froze in their tracks.
“What have you idiots been up to this time?”
Slowly but surely, they turned around to face their accuser. Standing there, gloved hand on hip with lips pursed irritably, was a woman in a red dress with a tutu-like skirt and short red hair. A metallic visor concealed her eyes, with twin horizontal stripes of red light running across the length of her face taking their place. Despite this, her distaste was obvious.
“We have a schedule for a reason. Do you people not understand the concept of that? Do you fail to grasp why efficiency in ours operations is important?” she looked down at Meowth. “And are you bringing a stray into our base?”
“No ma’am!” James said. “We-”
“We’re just trying to decide who gets to catch it is all!” Jessie finished for him.
“I see,” she crinkled her nose. “Be sure to figure it out before Mable comes back from Geosenge Town or she’ll make you regret leaving that scruffy thing in the open. Now, report! Any suspicious activity spotted?”
“Ma’am no ma’am!” both shouted with a salute.
“Keeping in mind that it’s coming from you, I’ll take that with a grain of salt. Now,” she pressed two fingers up against her temple, “what to do with the pair of you? I did warn you that the next time you screwed up I’d have to make an example of you.”
The trio swallowed.
“So… I hope you enjoyed your last fresh air for a long time,” she continued. “Because all of you will be spending the next month down hear where I can keep an eye on you. You’ll be eating, sleeping, bathing, and working full time in the lab. And speaking of working, I’m assigning you both to full-time janitor duties for Xerosic. Maybe you can think about just how you can do better. Now report there and begin cleaning on the double!”
“Yes ma’am!”
There was a moment’s pause as the trio stood there, unmoving.
“Um, where is that again?”
Their “superior” facepalmed, then pointed at the wall directly beside them.
“There’s a map right there.”
A few moments and a discrete picture later, Team Rocket walked down the halls of Team Flare’s lab, eyes hidden behind sunglasses yet watching carefully. They passed a handful of scientists in white lab coats, but for the most part all the people they saw were more Team Flare grunts wearing identical suits and hairstyles, along with orange sunglasses. At this time of night, few were doing more than walking to the designated sleeping rooms or chatting in the cafeteria.
“How do these freaks tell each other apart?” Jessie whispered as they passed yet another seemingly-identical woman in an orange suit. “Between the clothes, hair, and makeup I can’t make out one from the other.”
“Well, I have noticed that exactly no one has addressed us by name,” James noted. “Maybe they can’t?”
“Then how is anything supposed to get done?” Jessie complained. “How does anyone even know who’s clothes are whose? I didn’t see a name tag inside this thing.”
“Quiet you two,” Meowth hissed, still having difficulty keeping up while walking on four legs. “Dere it is.” He pointed. “Da base’s main computer system. Let’s quit yappin’ and get on with da job!”
“Right.”
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down here
Hear, is what you do with your ears.
Here, is a location that is not there.
So incompetant, they not only walk straight through all the security, but get given the ultimate stealth access all areas job by the company. The janitor.
Well you could say that all other Teams around the Pokemon world are more efficient than Team Rocket, but if they actually hire anybody without any acquirement competence evaluation that allows any spy to enter by just acting dumb and the higher ups just shrug this as normal, then there's no wonder they all fallen at the end and Team Rocket's still in business.
In addition of The wind king's found.
a
Something tells me Celestia might be going to show her skills soon...
Edit: Or not, seeing Snake Staff might have gone for another long break.
Bringing Meowth along is a painful giveaway to anyone that knows Team Rocket... good thing Team Flare is just as incompetent as they are. :'D
Excellent chapter!
8336116
He isn't the only Meowth in Kalos, you know. Walking on four legs and not talking does a lot to make him less recognizable.
I like how Team Rocket, of all folks, points out the fallacy of having identical mooks in a shady organization
I like that now that team rocket are the protagonists they are the only competent members of any of the shady organizations. The next team should try stealing the author's point of view instead of pokemon. I bet it'd be way more effective.
We devote our lives to the world of fashion
Protecting all that's chic, that is our passion
We denounce the evil of spots and plaid
And socks with sandals--that's just bad
Jessie!
James!
Team Flair, we're spunky and pert!
Join the fabulous, or prepare to hurt!
But seriously girl--those shoes with that shirt
Ya I stold this from a random youtube comment without the Jessie, James part.
Oh my god Twilight is right. They're evil masterminds!
Lucky for Jesse and James they accidentally replaced the "Jesse and James" of Team Flare!
All jokes aside...Jesse and James might be terrible at catching Pikachu and Ash's pokemon but they EXCELL at everything else. I mean how many jobs have they done? And remember when they were shop vendors during the last pokemon competition? To go from the furthest possible kiosk to the best location takes SKILL. And the care and love they show their pokemon...their more like anti heroes. :)
8336558
To be fair, a lot of this is dumb luck. They managed to bag the two dumbest members of team flare, so they basically have a free pass to do whatever the hell they want because anything they get caught doing or anywhere they get caught snooping around will be written off as incompetence rather than the espionage it is.
8336558
That's par for the course. The few times Jessie and James work with Ash in the anime, they prove themselves to be actually competent, and good at being good. It's only when they're trying to do evil that they fail over and over.
more
8340155
¨It's only when they're trying to do evil that they fail over and over.¨
No, because they also show to be competent when they are evil against someone else than Ash.
Team Rocket is extremely competent when they don't fight Ash. They are just too stupid to realise it and stop chasing him.... or not, because out of luck they will generaly bump into him anyway even if it is not in their intention.
8341789
To be fair to Twilight, what would you think if Zeus was captured by Robbie Rotten? (even if in the end she IS right about them being actually competent)
Homophone error. Correct spelling is "bated breath"
Those commas are out of place, and a comma should be inserted: '“Well, we do need to report back in...” The man scratched the back of his head. “but there’s just one isty-bitsy problem with that. We… well…” He shrugged.'
Comma splice. Change that comma into a period.
Missing comma: "By the time they finally reached a wider, better-lit area, almost a full minute had passed."
Homophone error. Correct spelling here is "discreet".
S -> A
Not sure if it's extremely lucky or unlucky that they managed to replace the most incompetent Team Flare members in the organization. They can get away with essentially anything, but no one will respect them. Which means they get the same amount of respect as usual, while breezing through their mission.
waited with baited breath as their quarry approached
The woman walked over to s seemingly innocuous section of wall
will be spending the next month down hear where I can keep
1. Bated.
2. A.
3. Here.
*bated
8352201
8988590
Oh, this is old news. If the author doesn't care, then I won't bother pointing out any other errors.
9049978
Why do people down vote pointing out errors? What is wrong with people?
9630335
People seem to think it’s offensive to the author for some strange reason. On the contrary, it’s actually pretty nice to have someone point out less obvious errors.