Twilight Sparkle is an Awkward Dancer

by twilightsparkle3562

On the Front Page

Author's Note:

Disclaimer: I do not own "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic," or its characters. It is property of Hasbro Studios and DHX Media.

"Twilight Sparkle is an Awkward Dancer"

By TwilightSparkle3562

Chapter 1

"On the Front Page"

It had been several days since the Canterlot Garden Party and all those who had attended were talking not of the everyday Canterlot life, but of the antics of a certain purple unicorn who had danced so strangely that it was giving her unwanted attention. For Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia, she had made herself quite a celebrity.

One morning, Twilight had woken up to the sounds of knocking on her library door and came down to see who it was.

"I'm coming I'm coming," she said, groggily while coming down the stairs. "Give me a minute."

Using her magic, Twilight opened the door and saw a white unicorn with a neat purple mane, standing in front of her with a big smile on her face.

"Rarity," said Twilight, still waking up and rubbing her eyes. "What in Equestria is--?"

But Twilight was interrupted when Rarity threw a newspaper in her face with her magic. Getting it off her face, Twilight took a look and her eyes opened wide upon seeing what was on it.

"You're a celebrity, Twilight!" she cried, excitedly. "Look at the cover!"

"I am," replied Twilight, still looking at the paper. "Why am I on it and what am I doing?"

Twilight looked at a picture of herself on the cover of the newspaper dancing at the Canterlot Garden Party in a strange manner with a phonograph next to her. Twilight then took notice of a headline at the top:

The student of Princess Celestia displays bizzare, yet entertaining behavior.

"They seem to really enjoy what you are doing," said Rarity, stepping into the library. "It had been a long time since someone so entertaining delighted the Canterlot Garden Party."

"Last time I checked, Rarity," remarked Twilight, putting the paper down on the table. "We were ruining the Garden Party with our antics. What is all the excitement about?"

"It's one of the ponies that was at the Garden Party," said Rarity. "She plays the violin and was at the Garden Party, entertained by your antics. In fact, she wants to meet you personally."

Twilight stood there wide eyed as she realized that somepony wanted to meet her. She remembered the pony always wore a pink bow tie and spoke in a posh accent.

"Who? Me?" cried Twilight. "Why would she want to meet me?"

"Because you are a student of Princess Celestia and a resident of Canterlot," replied Rarity, excitedly. "In fact, she wants to come here to Ponyville for a tea party with us!"

Twilight loved tea parties, but was starting to feel somewhat awkward by all this. As far as she was concerned, this pony in question was only coming over just because she was on the front page of the paper.

"A Tea Party?" remarked Twilight, raising an eyebrow. "I certainly wasn't expecting that. When is it?"

"Why, tomorrow of course," said Rarity. "Is that a problem?"

Twilight responded by frantically pacing around the center of the library. It was a special occasion and there was so much to be done. Just then, Spike came downstairs having heard Rarity talking to Twilight.

"What's going on?" he asked, rubbing one of his eyes and holding his blanket. "Did I hear Rarity paying a visit?"

"Oh, Spikey Wikey," she cried, running over to him and rubbing his cheeks. "Of course, I wouldn't forget you for our tea party."

"Tea party?" remarked Spike, fully waking up. "What about a tea party? Are we expecting somepony important?"

Rarity then picked up the newspaper and showed it to Spike, who looked at the picture of Twilight on the cover and burst out laughing.

"Look at this, Twilight!" laughed Spike. "You dance so weird!"

"Spike!" huffed Twilight, snatching the paper away. "Honestly! You know better than to laugh at ponies like that!"

"Relax Twilight," said Spike, feeling relaxed. "You should feel honored that somepony is meeting you."

He didn't know who was coming to meet Twilight, so he turned back to Rarity.

"By the way, Rarity," he asked, "who wants to meet Twilight?"

"She says her name is Octavia Melody," replied Rarity and this caused Twilight to stop pacing and her worried look turned to an excited smile. "And you seem to be very excited now, Twilight."

"Why shouldn't I be excited?" replied Twilight, happily. "Octavia is one of my favorite musicians in Canterlot. I attended all of her concerts when I was a filly and I used to own all of her records!"

Twilight suddenly began jumping around the library in her excited manner. Seeing her favorite musical idol was something that she was greatly excited for.

"Oh, Spike, there is so much to do," cried Twilight. "Hurry, we need to get this place clean for Octavia!"

She then began to grab all the books and started to reshelve them, much to Spike and Rarity's confusion.

"Twilight, we reshelved all the books a few days ago," said Spike. "There is no need to do that now!"

"I'm trying to reorganize them, so I can get the ones for Octavia to autograph," replied Twilight. "Now, where are they?"

Both Spike and Rarity looked at each other confusingly and then Rarity came forward and stopped Twilight in her train of thought.

"Now look, Twilight," she said, pulling her away from her task. "I know you and you don't act like this. Octavia is like any other pony in Equestria--"

"Aw, come on," interrupted Spike. "You act weird whenever Sapphire Shores comes by and you don't--"

"That's different, Spike," Rarity interrupted back, placing a hoof over Spike's mouth. "Sapphire Shores is a client of mine. I have happened to also own some of her records from her concerts and plus, we practically grew up together."

"How is that?" wondered Twilight, as Rarity pulled her hoof away from Spike's mouth. "I thought she always lived her life in Canterlot."

Rarity then walked over and grabbed a book that was about Octavia's life before becoming a musician.

"She did," said Rarity, showing off the book to Twilight and Spike. "Her parents and my parents were friends and we even went to a finishing school in Canterlot."

"You went to finishing school?" remarked Twilight, her mouth dropping open.

"Guess you learn something new, every day," added Spike, shocked that the love of his life had gone to an exclusive school in Canterlot."

"Indeed," agreed Rarity. "So, shall we start preparing for Octavia's arrival?"

Comments

[rail885478544]

It has a very minimal amount of grammatical errors, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

[Neko Majin C]

6079399 Are you saying you wish it had more errors?

[neorenamon]

6079505 I think they were saying they were glad it didn't have more errors.

[rail885478544]

6079505
I am a good English.

[Neko Majin C]

6079560 I am a good Amish.

[Neko Majin C]

"I'm coming, I'm coming," she said, groggily while coming down the stairs.

This comma is unneeded.

Using her magic, Twilight opened the door and saw a white unicorn with a neat purple mane, standing in front of Twilight with a big smile on her face.

A "her" here would make this sentence less repetitive.

"What in Equestria is…?"

But Twilight was interrupted when Rarity threw a newspaper in her face with her magic.

If Twilight was cut off, an Em Dash — would be better at the end of her dialogue than an ellipsis—which represents a trailing off of a thought—and a question mark.

Twilight looked at a picture of herself on the cover of the newspaper dancing at the Canterlot Garden Party in a strange manner with a phonograph next to it.

"Her". Unless the phonograph was next to the paper or the Garden Party.

Twilight then took notice of 1.)a headline at the 2.)top, "Student of Princess Celestia displays bizzare, yet entertaining behavior."

1.) "The". Unless there was more than one banner headline.
2.) I am not quite sure what you are going for here, but it is one of two things. If this is Twilight reading the headline, the comma should be a period. However, If you are just presenting the headline in quotation marks the comma should be a colon.

It wasn't until Fancy Pants took notice did we feel welcome by the Canterlot Elite.

Actually, they were enjoying themselves immensely until Rarity faltered slightly at admitting they were her friends. They had no fs to give and seemed completely oblivious about the snobbishness of the upperclass ponies because Rarity liked them, which made them nice ponies in the eyes of Twilight and the others.

The purple unicorn responded by frantically pacing around the center of the library.

Lavender Unicorn Syndrome. Try to avoid this as much as possible.

1.)"Relax Twilight," said Spike, feeling relaxed. "2.)Somepony probably wants to meet you. 3.)You should feel honored that somepony is meeting you."

He didn't know who was coming to meet Twilight, so he turned back to Rarity.

"By the way, Rarity," he 4.)asked. "Who wants to meet Twilight?"

1.) There is so much redundancy in this exchange. Four sentences and four instances of the word "meet".
2.) How does Spike know this? What I mean is, the wording is wrong. If Spike knew somepony wanted to see Twilight, why would he use the word "probably"? If he used the word "probably" why would he come to that conclusion from the headline and the picture alone?
3.) Well, that is kind of rude. Twilight is Princess Celestia's protege, the Element of Magic, and up to that point, saved the world twice. Once from eternal darkness, and once from a demonic god of chaos. Ponies should feel honored to meet Twilight Sparkle.
4.) The period should be a comma and "who" should be lowercase.

"And you seem to be very excited now, Twilight."

This "and" is unneeded.

She then began to grab all the books off of the library and started to reshelve them, much to Spike and Rarity's confusion.

This is awkwardly phrased.

I know you and I know you that you don't act like this.

This "you" is superfluous.

Octavia is like any other pony in Equestria."

"Aw, come on," interrupted Spike.

If Spike really interrupted, that period should be an em dash (—).

"You act weird whenever Sapphire Shores comes by and you don't…"

"That's different, Spike," Rarity interrupted back, placing a hoof over Spike's mouth.

Once again, ellipsis should be an em dash (—).

"You went to finishing school?" remarked Twilight, her mouth dropping open.

That would explain Rarity's British accent and her parents' Bostonian accents.

So, they set about preparing for the tea party that they would have for Octavia Melody…

This entire sentence is unneeded. That whole "show, do not tell" thing. Rarity's question at the end would have been enough.

I read this story expecting it to be about Twilight's awkward dancing. However, it seems like it may be a TwiTavia shipfic in the making. Which I do not mind. I welcome it. There are not enough TwiTavia shipfics on this site.

I would like to see where this goes, so I will favorite and like.

~KBO.

[OmniFox]

Bet you that Octavia wants a hug from Spike.