Memories of the Equestrian Wolf - (A DRWolf Origin Story)

by DRWolf

Memories of Master

If I am to tell you my story, I think it is important for you to know that I was not always the Teacher, or Doctor that I am today. In fact, helping ponies with their everyday problems in this office has been a fairly recent change in my life. Before then, I had traveled the world with a Dragon. And before that, I had spent all of my time reading books without knowing what I was looking for. And before then...well, even I don’t know all of the details. My...memory of such times is...fragmented. Some memories are clear, others are in a fog. But that’s probably because I was a very different sort of creature then. I did not wear clothes. I did not speak words. I didn’t even walk on two legs. In fact, at the time, I didn't even comprehend such things. I was just like any other wolf.

My earliest memories should have been happy. After all, it is only natural for wolf pups to be born in the spring, and spend their youth enjoying their first summer. Or so I've heard. I did not experience these things myself. For me, there was no spring or summer. It was always cold...so very cold...It seemed as though Winter would never end. In all my youth, I never once saw the sun clearly, always through thick clouds and heavy snow. And even now, I could not fathom as to why… But...that did mean that my family could not have lasted long against such an unyielding blizzard. I could not say what happened to each of them...I only remember that...I had been left alone. Freezing. Starving…

That is...until “He” found me.

To this day, I could not say why he had taken pity on a small and weak creature such as myself. I do not know how he came to find me. All I remember was hearing the crunching of snow under his hooves. I looked up. And he was there, towering over me. I remember at first believing him to be a large member of my kind because he was covered with fur. Imagine my surprise when he took off the fur on his head to reveal a creature my young eyes had never seen. But he took me in. Nursed me back to health. Kept me warm and safe.

He took me inside what I had always thought was a large den made of stone with a bright light coming from inside. The first real light I had ever experienced. And I was cold no more. That is all I remember, but it is one of the more vivid memories I have of that time, perhaps because the concept of warmth was so rare to me, and yet so fundamental to survival that even young I realized how important my rescue was. Only when I was still with my family did I have even the vaguest recollection of being warm before that time.

And though I was so very glad to be alive...I still felt so very alone. For this savior was quite unlike anything I had seen before. Where I had paws, he had flat stumps. Where my teeth were sharp, his were dull. He had two sets of fur, one long that he could remove and one much shorter he couldn't while I only had one long coat.

But I never could’ve imagined just how different we really were, until the day he lowered his horn to touch my forehead.

A bright light flashed before my eyes...I felt great pains throughout my mind. And though I did recover from...this sort of “spell” as I would eventually learn to call it, the process continued on a daily basis. And each time, he would speak to me with strange sounds. Always looking hopeful at first...and then frustrated and angry. Or perhaps at first he was just hopeful and later became frustrated and angry. Or sometimes he was frustrated, others angry, other hopeful. I cannot tell for certain if every session was the same, or each different and they're simply running together.

But one Day...I was listening to the sounds of my Master...and Understood them.

I cannot tell you how many sessions it took, or if the understanding was all at once in a great realization or over multiple sessions, slowly forming together. But I did begin to understand what he meant. He seemed to become more hopeful as he noted me becoming more attentive. I began to understand the sounds were called 'words' and they were to him and his kind what barks, yips, and howls were to mine. I learned his body language as well. The first thing I can remember him teaching me was that nodding meant 'I understand' and shaking my head meant 'I do not'. Well, not exactly in those words. I knew only the concept, like I knew wagging my tail meant 'I'm happy.' But when I first nodded in response to a question that I cannot recall, he repeated it and I repeated my response.

I was taken back by this. You must understand...being able to grasp what was not instinct was something I hadn't been capable of doing before. My 'thoughts' had always been simplistic, straight forward. Things like 'This meat smells good, I should eat it' or 'this creature is pack leader, I follow him.' Those things I comprehended; this was a completely new experience. I suppose...’narrow’ may be a better term for my reaction. I'm sorry if that is incredibly vague but...imagine if a blind pony woke up one morning and could make out the color of one object in the room. That is what it was like to be me in that moment. And it is a vivid image imprinted on my mind ever since, even after all these years.

As the days drew on, so did the spells. I began to understand more and more. I learned more words, though I'd yet to learn how to speak. Two words I knew quite well were 'Master' and 'Wolf', and that Master was the 'pony' as I'd come to know he was called and Wolf was me. I do not believe I even knew what a name was, perhaps I heard his and didn't grasp its meaning at the time. I can't remember.

Nor do I remember the first words I actually spoke. I did not begin as capable of speech as I am now. Far from it. If you heard my voice then, you would not recognize it as me. It was not a matter of age, it was a matter of structure. As I said, once I was no different from any other wolf. But while it was far from perfect, I was able to understand and make myself understood. And I believe that was the point Master desired I reach before moving to the next step of his plans for me.

Now, there was another pony present with Master. Like Master, I do not know his name, in fact I know even less about that stallion than I do Master. All I know is that Master seemed to spend a considerable amount of time with him working on spells and books, and I remember my instincts associating Master's behavior towards this pony as akin to how a Beta Wolf would see its Alpha. I also recall the other pony had more hair on his face than Master, even when he didn't wear his second coat. Other than that, he was simply 'Master's Master' and nothing more.

One day, Master presented me to this other pony. Looking back, I think my Master began pridefully...then became disappointed...and then ultimately angry. The other pony...he looked at me with emotions that I did not understand much of, as I was so young. They may have been worry...perhaps maybe pity. I cannot say for sure. But what I can say is that the two argued. Any wolf or dog worth its salt can understand 'master is upset,' and I was no different. Like any good companion, I tried to comfort Master, but I was ignored.

I do not recall all of the details of what transpired next. I remember Master collecting our things and bidding me come. I remember hesitating. While seeing our things be packed up was new and strange, I hadn't been in that frozen expanse outside of that place since my arrival, as short a time as that had been. Yes, it was still winter. I had sometimes gotten a look outside of the windows on occasion. The snow never ceased. That is part of what made me so reluctant. I knew outside those walls was a place without warmth. A place without life. A place where I last saw my family.

An animal's instinct is to be wary of danger. And there are few creatures, whether sapient or non-sapient, who do not feel anxiety over leaving the only home they ever knew...But Master was the only family I have ever known; the one who'd saved me from death. He was the only 'pack' that I knew. And that overrode my anxiety and fear. Not knowing what awaited me, I followed him out into the bitter cold endless winter.

For the first time since I'd been saved, I felt the full brunt of the raging blizzard. No more was there a warm fire burning nor shelter from the roaring winds. It was deafening. An endless roar. The snow was far deeper than I'd ever remembered, and I was still quite small. I remember a distinct sense of danger. That storm terrified me in ways I do not think it is possible for me to describe. It was like there was something lurking out there in the snow and white. It was instinct, and instinct isn't always rational.

We traveled far. Very far. Each night we found refuge and Master started a fire. He continued the spells and began to teach me a new skill each stop. One of these was reading. Master ingrained in me a sense of that skill being extremely important to what was coming. While it was an entirely new experience for me, I believe it came easier to me than spoken language because it was a constant. A sentence spoken needs to be repeated for you, a sentence read does not. It simply needs reread.

I wish I could say the first book I read is one I treasure to this day, but I cannot recall even one sentence of it, let alone a title. I've read many many books in my lifetime. So many that to name them all would take an eternity. So sadly the first one has been lost in the fog of time.

I cannot tell for sure how long that journey and those lessons took. I know that it was far longer than our time staying at the Master's den. Long enough that I began to grow bigger. But no matter how long or hard the journey became, I never once thought of leaving his side. He was all I had ever known. Canines are known for their loyalty I suppose.

As we and time marched onwards, I began to notice a serious change in that world around us. The snow slowly ceased. At least that is how I perceived it. I began to see green plants. Well, at the time they looked more of a blue or a shade of gray, I couldn't yet see the color green, but I still knew they were something new to me. I saw the sun in full clarity for the first time in my life. I felt it's warm light on my fur. I saw its sister body the moon, and naturally my instincts drew me to it. Yes, at the time I did howl to it (though these days I prefer sitting out watching the full moon listening to Clair de Lune). Master's second fur disappeared for good. Well, I doubt they happened all at once, but that's how my mind recalls it. However, our journey did not end. Finding a warm place where all was green was not what we had came for. What may have been the true goal of our trek I still do not know even to this day. I can't even begin to guess. But I remember two words, simply due to endless repetition. “Library” and “Alone.”

The shift from white to green was not the only change of scenery we were met with. They went from green and mild to sandy and hot. I had never seen 'sand' before in my entire life, at least not vividly enough to stand the test of time and withstand the fog of ages. Now I was surrounded by endless stretches of it. And we'd gone from an endless, unyielding winter to unending heat during the day and far colder nights. Thankfully, Master knew spells to protect us, but all of it still seemed unending. With my growing mind, I began to question how long our supplies would last. How long we'd survive.

But I never left Master's side. I knew he needed me. I knew he had some purpose for me. And that merely made me more dedicated to remain with him.

And eventually, after so many days and nights, the continuous walking finally came to an end. We at long last had arrived.

'The Library' that Master had been speaking of for all that time stood before us.

Author's Note:

So it begins...

My sincere thanks to GodzillaWolf for writing the Majority of this story: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Godzillawolf

Comments

[CryoWolf]

Dear DRWolf,

I had asked on your YouTube channel if I could create my own origin story using your character in it. I wanted to elaborate on this. What I mean to do is use my story and yours and combine them to form a kind of AMWDW episode.