Letters to Rainbow

by Gray Compass

Just Words

Sometimes I do hate you for almost a second.

And then I love you more.

Your face, your taste, you presence, that won’t leave me alone.

I wonder if you still think about me. In one of those buried memories deep inside, your frozen heart, devoid of emotions.

I wanted to see the dark abyss of your soul, so I could understand what troubles you so much.

I wanted to fix you, to bring your pieces together and make you whole again.

Sometimes I think that deep inside, a fire still warms you up. Your skin, you mane, and all of your stories, they are no dead at all.

In my simple mind a million of choices, that won’t let me go. Those secrets, those kisses, those little things that will never, ever be revived again.

And here I’m thinking of you while lying down to sleep, your head in comfy pillows, your rainbow mane spread over the bed, reflecting all the lights of our lampshades.

What are the colors, and the shadows of the strands that bind me here? Red, yellow, green?

What are the purposes, of this love, that confuses me?

I wonder if you still think the same, about that old friend, that silly farm pony that never forgot your face. That little apple following your steps, and playing together in the rain.

I’d take my hat off only for you, put my trust in you, my rainbow-haired love. To see you snickering, to see you laughing, to see your perfect smile, stamped on your lips.

Your happiness was my happiness. Your victories and failures were mine as well, and I accepted all of them.

What is the meaning, behind leaving someone you cared that much? What is the purpose of forgetting?

I wonder if you still think about that word - love.

All your mistakes, all your flaws, and all the disappointment I was willing to forgive. Forgive for our own sake. I’d fight for our friendship, and now I don’t want to think I have fought in vain.

I wonder if you still keep that flower I found for you. Amidst the large and infinite wheat harvest, a lonely rose stood, and only for your heart I picked it up, now it is gone as well.

Dried and lost inside an insignificant paper.

What are the words that you chose, to justify... All of the pain you inflicted, deep in my heart.

Will I be your apple when the world falls apart and walls build up? Will you think about me at all? Or someone else?

Will you be my fortress, if I had no place else to hide?

Every single day I work in the fields, my body aches but I keep going, stopping only to look at the blue skies, your missing silhouette leaves it black and white.

Oh dear don’t you ever, think about it, the times we shared?

Oh Rainbow won’t you ever look back, to the past we left?

As I walk around our old house, hearing the floor shriek, those muffled hoofsteps that walked down the stairs, were nowhere to be heard. That long yawning, that glass of fresh orange juice awaiting for you over the nightstand.

The smell of fresh coffee had disappeared.

The dust covered our fancy furniture in a thick layer of regrets.

All our portraits, picture frames, has become empty voids.

Oily marks on the walls, where lonely nails waited for memories to be displayed.

The dust has just become to form crop circles on the carpet.

What are the things I should have used to keep you close?

Wasn’t enough, all the words?

Sometimes I think we failed, in everything that won’t leave me alone.

The touch of your fur still haunts me at night, does it haunts you as well?

I hardly think so.

Despite all the things you’ve done, and the things we suffered, it hurts to say that I keep loving you.

Why don’t you give back my peace, Rainbow? You took away the most precious thing I had.

What did I steal from you aside from your time?

How could I be so silly?

What are the colors, and memories I have to paint to hold you close to me again?

I had a bad dream another night and woke up in tears, so I called you. The cold in my spine wouldn’t go away.

Your voice was not an antidote, but a poison.

Don’t think it was your fault Rainbow, it was a decision I took by myself.

I wonder if you’ll ever knock the door again.

I hope you don’t.

I have to leave those dreams behind, resume my life. Rainbow, I was born to be strong, not to be loved.

You were born to fly, and paint a watercolor in the skies. To be fantastic, to be gorgeous.

In the bucolic hills of my farm, I find my happiness. And it is a lone happiness, lone but fulfilling.

Sometimes I love you again for almost a second, only to hate you even more.

All in all, you are a part of my past.

And in the past you may rest.

Fly away Rainbow, to a place where better ponies await for you. A place with colors, and not pastel-colored barns.

We have to accept the reality that belongs to us, and I think I have finally accepted mine.

A reality far from you. Far from the rainbows and the thunderstorms.

Here in my room, I humbly look through the window, imagining in which distant cloud you may be hiding.

And there, in this distant cloud of yours, I hope you stay.

When we love, we let go.

So I release you, dear, from all these invisible lassos that could never tie you in place. And I wish, you never find yourself tied.

Fly, my dear friend, my prismatic bird. Fly towards the horizon.

I’ll keep all our good memories in my hardwood heart, no matter how far you are from me.

Friendship is for a life. And love is forever

Author's Note:

Okay, you can cry now.

Comments

[BlabideeblahMLP]

I don't get it.

[Gray Compass]

7015810 It's a farewell letter. It's quite simple to understand.

[BlabideeblahMLP]

7015817 No, it's not. The whole thing feels like it's some huge metaphor, like Rainbiw cheated on her or died or something.

I'm going to be honest—I had an easier time coping with the death of my cat than following this.

[Gray Compass]

7015834 I understand your point, it may be easy for me to understand, since I wrote it. But people are free to interpret the story in whatever way they which.

Yes, it has a lot of metaphors, but for me it feels like a farewell of sorts. (The reasons for such a thing are up to the reader though)

I hope you find a meaning that works for you.

[BlabideeblahMLP]

7015849 Not really. I couldn't find anything that worked for me. Not something I could decipher, not something I could relate to—nothing.

[Gray Compass]

7015860 Then I feel sorry for you. Maybe another story will turn the hinges in your mind. Have a great day.

[BlabideeblahMLP]

7015864 I don't know why, but this comment seems very rude.

And if that's what you were going for, well then Fu2, buddy.

[Gray Compass]

7015870 Well, I'm never rude to anyone. I don't get why you're trying to argue with me right here and now.

I just said that if you don't like the story, you are free to find another one that works with your emotions, that's all.

Don't let the world out there change the way you see people. Not everyone is trying to offend you.

As I said before, have a great day.

[Mudpony]

Nice letter, with some good turns of phrase. Nicely deals with what would be an issue with both Rarity and RD... they've got definite goals for their life, and trying to reconcile that for a relationship with someone who is very bound to where they're at, well, it would definitely be something that needs resolving. And enough of the time, the resolution won't be the happily ever after couples one.

Not really feeling it as coming from AJ though, probably because i imagine her to be a bit more straightforward, rather than to wax poetic. But it could just as easily come from some other farmer, about whom I have no preconceived notions, and then it works well.

Also, one little typo in your short description:

Applejack decided to write a letter, a letter to put and end on something that should never be started.

That should be 'an', I believe.

[Emerald Harp]

Hey bud, I thought this was pretty deep. I was reading this while listening to this.

In my opinion this music makes this fic pop. Don't know why. Anyway good job.

[Corey]

Never been a big fan of Rainbow X Applejack, but it was an ok story.

[Gray Compass]

7015929 Yes, I'm leaving it open to interpretations, it's like music; if the musician revealed the meaning behind some lyrics, he would ruin the meaning that many other listeners gave to said lyric.

And thank you for pointing out the typo.

[Gray Compass]

7015942 Thanks bro. Amazing version of an amazing song.

[Gray Compass]

7016226 Your presence here is enough to make me happy, Corey.

[Corey]

7016942 K

[Nightmare mare]

Damn that touched my heart

[FelixTheBrony]

Why did you add this to the Straight Shipping group? It's quite obviously an AppleDash story. It was an alright story, don't get me wrong, I'm just curious.

[Gray Compass]

7018013 Ops, I guess it was a mistake. My bad, I was probably adding another story of mine. Is there a way to remove?

[FelixTheBrony]

7018017 I think there should be a recycle bin next to the story's name where ever it is in the group. I think it was under Applejack. So long as you're the one who added it anyway.

[Gray Compass]

7018052 Oh, alright then, thanks for informing!

[FelixTheBrony]

7018082 No problem!

[JustABookworm]

Sad story. Really enjoyed it!

[Flaring Dawn]

I has a really big sad now a REALLY big sad. well done my friend well done

[Gray Compass]

7081721 Thank you, I guess.