• Member Since 14th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Last Wednesday

Magical Trevor


(This fic is in the process of being re-evaluated and re-written. Original story was poorly started, MC was too gary-stuish, and, even worse, was OOC for himself, as I was still 'making him' as I wrote the story. For those of you who liked the original (for whatever reason) all the characters will still be there, same general story... ish. It's just going to be highly polished up to better match what I can do, and how I can better present OCs so they don't come off as... well, bad.)

It's not easy, being an orphan, wandering from town to town, from country country, but that is the life of Moonstone. Or rather, was...

Searching for a place he can finally call home, he decides to see the newly-returned Princess Luna, in the hopes that she can help him fit in in a world that, for whatever reason, seems to constantly shun him...

Disclaimer: While it has the Mane Six as characters, they may not appear immediately. This is a low-priority fic in my list, so this is worked on when I'm stuck on the others, or otherwise don't feel like working on my 'main' story.

For new readers, please note that this is post SEASON TWO. Discord, Trixie, etc, have not been redeemed, Sombra never existed (yet) and Twilight is a Unicorn. (May or may not change in the re-write.)

MLP: FiM belongs to Hasbro. This is just a fanfiction written for fun, not for profit. Please support the show MLP: FiM. Thank you.

Chapters (23)
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Comments ( 153 )

Yeah, go ahead and hate me for my interpretation of Celes! See if I care! XD Seems to me you don't get to be 1k+ years old without developing a FEW bad habits! Anyways, yeah, I cut it short, and it had hardly any Moonstone in it, but there'll be enough of him later. I saw an opportunity for more Celes and Lulu, so I took it! He might be the 'main character', but everyone prefers canon to OCs, so... XD

Suddenly, 22k words from outta nowhere! :rainbowderp: Hoho, will need to add this to the queue.

620075 As much as I appreciate the thought, I don't care for Heavy Metal, sorry.

Blarg. There, have some more rambling stuffs. *Goes back to writing chapter 8*

Great job! Can't wait for chapter eight!

... THERE! *ing Italics... They SHOULD only be used when a character is thinking, so if you see it elsewhere, other than to emphasize a SINGLE word, PLEASE let me know. (Freaking Fimfic hates me, it seems.)

Anywho, we should get some more of Twi and the gang in the next chapter. I KINDA wanted to put them in here, at the end, but I figure that 6k is enough for one chapter. I'll focus on them in the next chapter for a bit.

Will Twilight become Alicorn ? If not it will be good to change picture :twilightblush:.

706068 ... Eh. Maybe, maybe not. Haven't decided. Sides, can't find another good pic, so... I'll leave you to wonder if and if so, then how. With how few people are reading/commenting, I'm allowing myself to be rather free, so... XD Again, dunno. (The problem is that there's OCs, so it's hard to get a good cover pic without commissioning someone, and they tend to be on the more expensive side. If I were taking the story more seriously, I'd have a better picture, and the grammar would be a little better, so for that part, at least, I apologize. This was on DeviantArt because I didn't care who read it, or IF anyone read it. I only put it on here to shut a friend up.)

If you really wanna know about any spoilers, just PM me. I'll probably tell you, since I don't REALLY care about spoilers, but I don't want to ruin it for anyone who's along for the ride, and wants to find out as they read, instead of ahead of time. (Sorry, I tend to ramble on.)

The was a nice nod to dangerous business there at the end...

794950 Actually, it's a nod to Lord of the Rings, since that's where the quote originated, but thanks! XD

795073 Well I had a moment of severe face to palm connection... this is what I get for being in a pony sense of mind while I read fanfic... I've read all of the lord of the rings books... and the hobbit. I'm mildly upset with myself...

795091 XD We all mess up. I wasn't even aware of said fic until a friend mentioned it to me. I'm a HUGE fan of The Hobbit, so... XD

795236 It was the first Pony story I ever read. It set the bar for quality quite high and if you haven't read it I highly recommend it. On a completely unrelated note I also love the hobbit... and I am quite excited for the movies.

Yeah, it's prolly a bit hasty, since I'm posting this at... 1:15 in the morning, after working on it for a coupla hours, but whatever. I'm writing this more for myself anyway, like I said, so as long as I'm happy with what happened, then that's good enough for me. Might not have explained much that well, and for that I'm sorry, but... Use your imagination? :twilightblush:
(To any who want to say that Moonstone is OP, there's obviously reasons as to why/how, so please bear with me/give me a chance to explain. tl;dr version, he was in Rage-shift mode, which amplifies magic. (Rage-shift is what I call Twilight going 'Rapidash Mode'))
So yeah, comment if you feel like it, but it seems to be a tradition to leave the comments section blank, so... Complain, question, accuse, whatever.

806696 Well, think about it... What caused her to go all ballistic mental evil crazy bat * about a thousand and 3 years ago? Nopony loving her night. Here, she finds not only somepony who injured one of her only 'friends', and his friend on top of that, but also someone who is BRAGGING that THEY'RE some of the ponies helping ponies in today's Equestria hate/fear HER night. Maybe I'm crazy, but I would THINK that she'd go * crazy after finding that out. Next chapter will show what she was thinking, ect, as she and Celes discuss why, exactly, there are now several very tiny dark spots on her sun. (Very minuscule. Possible origin of the sun's 'Dark Spots'? :trollestia: )

Posting my crazy for all to see! I'm totally not writing this to avoid/escape reality at all! Any insanely crazy stuff coming up in the fic was TOTALLY pre-planned and stuff. Ignore the man behind the curtain!

823910 Uhh... W-while I think up an answer, uh...


*Sneaks to a corner*
(Was I that obvious?! I told them to ignore me! What, do I need to get a sign that says it?! Quick, Other Jack, got get me a sign!)

... And now that tea time is over, I have but on thing to say... ~We've a band of pirates! And this is what we say! LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY! LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY!~ *Runs away*

Blarg. There. Have a bunch of nonsense. I'm still writing, though my internet is trying to keep me from that. (I write in googledocs, so no internet, no writing.) I didn't even get CLOSE to the 'good stuff' coming up, but whatever. Hope you enjoyed SOMETHING in this chapter. XD

Milly is best foal, and I think that Twi is gonna get possessed by Nightmare.

945742 XD Yay! Then I did my job! It's decided then!
Nightmares Never End! NOW with 20% moar Milly!

I'm halfway done till I have to wait for the next chapter and I half to say, Holy horseshoes this is great I wish donuts had that effect on me

953817 XD Well, think about it. How do you think YOU would react if you never had sugar before in your life, and then you ate a LOT of something with tons of fat and sugar, like Donuts? I'd like to think I'd be pretty damn wired for awhile from my body's first sugar rush! xD
(And glad you're enjoying it, despite the second-rate writing. :3 )

946649 20% more Milly? ARE YOU TRYING TO CREATE ANOTHER PINKIE PIE!!!! Actually that doesn't sound like a bad idea, I say go for it:derpytongue2:

954598 Actually, now that I think about it, I THINK I'm creating a mix of Pinkie Pie and Puppysmiles... XD So yeah! Gotta have MOAR MILLY! :pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

1444675 ^^; I swear I'm working on it... College is sucking atm, and my mom is gone on a trip to Israel, so I also have tons of chores that I have to pick up as well, since it's just my brother and I. That, and I WAS stuck for awhile, since I had Moonstone doing something that SEEMED OOC (Out of Character), and I had to figure out why. (I know it sounds odd for an OC to be able to act OOC in your own fic, but it IS possible, mostly when you're trying to force a scene, and that's what was happening without my rewalizing it.) Now that I've got that scene fixed, it's mostly just a matter of finding the dang time to write! It's already at 3k+, so it's at least half-way done... (And thanks for your patience and continued interest in this story.)

WOW! Tsundere much? chapter 9.

1514405 ... Mayyyyyyybe... It gets better, trust me. (And by better I mean worse, of course! XD) Tsundere is just so much fun to write, you know? I have had a BAD tendency in previous stories of rushing the relationship(s), so using Tsundere is a great way to slow it down, at least a little bit, since she's all wet, and he's oblivious. (She's wet because she's in denial. De Nile, get it? xD
/shot )

A/N: Yeah, a really lame place to end it, but I don’t care. It’s almost 7k words, so I don’t wanna hear it! XD I finally decided to just say screw it, post it, and if I get complaints, then I’ll reword something or re-write something. Otherwise, I’ll just assume that you are at least mildly entertained, or at least distracted from whatever it is you’re trying to escape. Like, comment, fave, whatever. Do whatever it is that you do, so long as it’s NOT being racist to a certain poor chocobo. <.<
(And feel free to point out any typos or what have you. I don't have a pre-reader because this is just a fic for fun. Heck, I'm surprised I have an many people reading this as I do!)

Meh reference to Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb

1516429 Ah. Okay, sorry. I was wondering if it wasn't like an auto-correct from Pinkie Pie or something. XD


Overall this story has been good so far, you've done a pretty good job of adding complexity to your OCs that you have introduced as main characters. Found this by looking at the latest updates section and glad that I did. At first glance I thought it was going to have romance between Luna and your OC, but apparently it is not to be, poor Luna. For romance between two OCs, it has flown rather smoothly, and by smoothly I mean about as rocky as it should realistically be. It is rather humorous, although slightly stereotypical, at how it seems the feelings are blooming from NOT being in a relationship with some denial built in, overall it has been nice to follow though.

Then, you have the mysterious mare Night that is inside of Moon, on top of Nightmare's return, or attempted return, and the plot seems to be rolling along just fine. Still curious if those red eyes of his play into anything, and his history/upbringing has allowed you to create some rather good content as well. Loved a lot of the Main Six scenes prior to them all finally meeting up, I think depriving Spike of his innocence of where babies come from was probably the best comedic scene of the story so far!

Really good story, thank your friend for twisting your arm to post it, as it really is a nice solid basis for some craziness to start occurring soon. And the current cliffhanger, well, it works honestly. Kinda unexpected given everything else going on, one would expect a serious note, but Pinkie and Milly going poof is a rather comical cliffhanger in my mind. And Milly's character, oh. my. god. cuteness overload! The way you have her speech and mispronunciations is amazingly well done, and damn cute. Again, I'm chalking it up to you doing a very excellent job with your OCs here. Please keep up the writing when you find the time, and I will gladly look forward to when you next have enough content to share more with us.

Edit - oh, thumbed up, fav'd, all that jazz.

Oh Celestia, Luna, and Discord. A Hyperactive filly with Pinkie Pie? Canterlot is not ready. Canterlot can never be ready for this.

... Wow, re-reading this... this is horrible. How do I have anyone reading this at all? Meh, whatever... Keep moving forward and all that.

... What... the hell. I've fixed the typos in this chapter at LEAST five freaking times already! Why do they never save?! I hit the damn save button, what else am I supposed to do?!

Let my reading journey begin, all way to chapter 15 and onwards!

1786241 ... GOOD LUCK. Just... keep in mind, I write this as stress-relief, so it's... not going to be great. XD (Not that I'd say no to constructive criticism, just... realize I wasn't always at the top of my game, so to speak, when writing. XD)

Moar Milky Way! That is my demand.
...and the small amounts of filler you have is fine, but add a bit more excitement.

So his overall power is terrible, but his recharge is insane? Makes sense to me.

Wonder if asking a unicorn mare about her Ether Level or her Ether Recharge Rate is similar to asking her about her age or weight...? Poor Moony, though, wouldn't know anything about that.

1824002 Good thing that Star is a peggyseuss and not a unicorn then, isn't it? :trollestia:

You are a horrible person to make that joke. Good job.

Man, it feels like forever since this updated. I might have to go back more than one chapter to get my context back!

1825663 ... I'm Magical Trevor. I'm like the Chuggaconroy of Fimfic. XD Sides, how do you think Milly got the characterization she got? It's all me, baby! I like talking weird, and making up words, etc, so yeah. Milly would say Peggyseuss, so... Bleh! *Sticks tongue out*

I believe it (no, not a naruto joke, i'm horrible, but not that horrible). I'm a horrible (and arguably crazy) person myself, so yeah. Welcome to the club, you'll be getting your complimentary gift basket in six to eight weeks. Milly is best child-pony, and made of Win and D'awww. (I'm not sure foal works, as she's a bit old for that title, so child-pony it is)

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