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Comments ( 45 )

6060316 That's about as succinct a response as can be.

Excellent stuff. I'm really glad you gave us another look at this universe.

New Sharaloth story! :yay::pinkiehappy::raritystarry::rainbowkiss::twilightsmile:

And Fallen world no less! I really do love seeing more of this amazing, dark, broken world that you've created, and our first real look at the Sorceress as well? Just like the tyrant, she really does seem to be a corrupted shadow of her former self, and we still need to see what's come of the others. IIRC, we still have a Druid (AJ) a Tempest? (RD) and whatever Pinkie was, and I don't remember Twilight having one mentioned...

I'm also curious if were ever going to see what led to the fall of this Equestria, or if were only ever going to see it's aftermath. Either way, I'm always looking forward to more from you!

Another Fallen World story!!! Yes!!!!! I love these!!!!! And it's so good!!!! I love it !!!! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Yes! Next is The Druid I hope!

I hope this doesn't conclude the AU...you did want to do one with Sweetie Belle.
Excellent job, by the way.
I hope as we see more of this (I hope we will!) more will be revealed, like what lead to the fall of Equestria, what happened to Twilight Sparkle and then some.
I wonder if any of these have to do with Harmony Theory. Empowered, all the Elements of Harmony seem to have inherited the opposite of their element...Something like that is going on in Harmony Theory too.

I look forward to more! :pinkiehappy:

Now we have confirmation that Ponyville was destroyed (probably the center of whatever the event was that brought about the change). And The Sorceress is everything I feared and hoped she'd be. The Bearers are still themselves... but darker, crueler reflections, and massively more powerful. Fluttershy... er, the Tyrant, and the Sorceress, are scary enough. The Tempest is probably pretty bad... but the Madmare is the one who really terrifies me, I admit.

6060495 At last we could tell, Twilight seems to be missing entirely. If she's around, she's not one of the rulers. Also, Pinkie's the Madmare, if I remember correctly. (Tempest is correct for RD.)

Another Fallen World fic, so it is certainly a good day. I love how different each of these stories feel, and yet how well they fit each other. Not only in the sense of how they belong in the same world, but also how well the absolute despair on this one contrasts with the underlying current of hope on The Archer and the Smith. Impressive stuff.

I feel as if there is a parallel between Sorceress!Rairity and Gunther in that they both are quite "generous" to DT but expect her servitude in return. Hopefully DT will be able to repay the Sorceress's generosity in the same way she repaid Gunther.

“Madpony came north,” the dog said, nostrils flaring, taking in the scents of the mine. “She made stone go bad. Ate many ponies. Crunch-crunch-crunch!”

:pinkiegasp: Now I really want to see Pinkie's story.

Damn. Shit got real.

Madmare, yes, I think that was it, thanks for reminding me on that. The lack of Twilight does raise the question of just what actually happened to her. I'd be surprised if she had no part in the fall, both of the world and the bearers.

6062136 Oh, that really, really is the burning question. What happened to Twilight?

Or the Princesses, for that matter. Something must've happened to them at some point leading up to or in the process of the five Bearers becoming the five Rulers in order for them to have kingdoms to rule in the first place. It would seem that the Bearers fell before the world, both because their rule has become an integral part of the fallen nature of the world, and that this story in particular implies they played a direct role in that fall, but where exactly Twilight and the Princesses fit into the series of events still isn't entirely clear.

6062877 Yeah, it seems likely that it's specifically the Rulers' influences that have altered the world so harshly (as indicated by the Dog's mutterings about the "Madpony" and the rocks) but what event caused it? Also, the other being we haven't seen is Discord and I don't think it's unreasonable to think he might have hand a hand(claw?) in the meltdown.

Hmm, it's possible Discord could've been involved, but I personally suspect it could be something else. When Discord used his magic on the Bearers, he turned them into inversions of their elements (honesty to deceit, generosity to greed, loyalty to selfishness, etc.), whereas here it seems from what we've seen of the Sorceress and the Tyrant that instead they've become corrupted versions of their elements - a twisted idea of generosity and kindness, which to me suggests that it wasn't him that turned them into what they've become, at least not directly.

I read this before "The Heart Thief", but as I don't have time to read that right now, I want to give you my thoughts on this.

Your Fallen World stories are amazing. It's apparent who's who without their names being used. Rarity is just as terrifying as she should be. I'm looking forward to everything being explained after we've seen all the Mane Six. In the meantime, keep making beautifully exciting and dark stories like this and "The Archer and the Smith".

Wow, I really thought the Sorceress was Twilight after reading The Archer and the Smith, and, ya know, the obvious connotation between her and the Element of Magic. I never though about Rarity, though.
I've been itching to find out more about this world you've built, and how the Main Six fit into it, who and what they've turned into. With my expectations flipped like this, now I'm just that much more invested in finding out what this world is. Your Fallen World, and the talent you've put into your storytelling, have a garnered you a life-long follower.

Someday you're going to have to actually tell us the whole story behind the Fallen World, you know.

This fallen world is by far my favorite alternate universe in any fanfiction. All I can say is that I want more.

While this is well written as always, I hope we don't have three data points creating a trend. The Archer and the Smith was a dark world but with hopeful/defiant actions, The Heart Thief was darker, but with some really lush and well realized world building. And then this story was darker still and bleak. :applejackunsure: Now I understand how the bleakness here was part of the texture of this piece, but I felt like I had to work a lot more to get through it instead of being immersed in the world like the previous two. Please don't take this as me thinking this is bad writing, but I would enjoy it more if future installments weren't quite as bleak. Either way this is just my personal feelings on the piece, and I'm not trying to tell you how you should be doing it, just what my reactions were to this story. Thanks for writing!

6065492 Agreed, you can't keep teasing us like that
This fallen World is so intriguing

Welp, time to bite the bullet and click Follow.

Depressing as this was, it was fascinating as well. For some reason the question of how things (and ponies) got this way isn't as irritating here as it usually is for me- I'm just enjoying the experience.

Holy shit. That was amazing. :heart:

I really hope you make more. Does this mean that Ferroriax from the Shaper and the Archer was Spike, then? Sp this is more a prequel to that other standalone? Makes me wonder how Apple Bloom became a smith.

These incredibly well crafted standalone fics are a lot of fun. These Chosen of the Sorceress and those mentioned like The Druid and another name if you'll be expanding on those sometime. Well, in other standalone fics.

Damn, your words are like silk in these two stories. Couldn't stop or pause reading either of the two. I love these types of AUs. And the way you wrote the fight scene alone between Lyra and Ferrox was very descriptive and intense.

And this story here with Diamond just opened up so well with that harsh realities thrown at her. The tragedies she's faced. Had me wondering if she was going to break or plot her revenge as soon as she felt she was strong enough to get back her tiara or something. What you delivered was beyond the norm. I have to say Rarity makes one of the best villains, even when she's not truly evil, per se.

People can miss out all they want. This story deserves a feature. Hope to see you write more stories sometime again. Ciao!

How did I miss you posting this!?

Dang, that was as good as expected. I suppose that when someone is broken all the way down to shards, how they get built back up really might depend on who does the building.

They all fell? Huh, for some reason I thought it was just Twi... Maybe I should go re-read Archer.

Well, damn. That was impressive. Diamond Tiara was handled very well, especially the crushing weight of her suffering and the gradual fading away of her very identity. And the Sorceress was downright chilling. It only makes me more curious to see what caused all of this--what drove the Mane 6 to become what they are. And something tells me we'll be seeing Diamond Tiara (as the Sorceress' henchmare, of course) in future installments.

Good job. Definitely looking forward to more.

6080844 Saying that Rarity isn't evil is kinda like saying Attila the Hun was a Boy Scout.

There are none in this world I have seen that I wouldn't turn to dust instantly.

All in this diseased world have fallen and come short of the glory of... well.. me.

6077168 I believe you've realized there is NO HOPE for this world.

In which case, a giant asteroid colliding with it could be viewed as a positive.

Inexorably dark, hopeless worlds eventually lead to Darkness Induced Audience Apathy, in which there's simply no reason to care because you expect nothing to ever get better.

6384797 Absolutely not. It's dark, it's nigh impossible to succeed against the controlling forces, but that does NOT mean it's hopeless. The Archer and the Smith is explicitly a hopeful story in this dark land. My original comment is a statement of my personal worry for the trend of these individual stories straying away from hope. But Lyra and the Smith are still out there in my view and they're still trying to find ways to fight back.

If this does become a world without hope, then in my view it's an artificially dark construct that holds no interest in reading to me. If you want to call that Audience Apathy, go ahead. :trixieshiftright: I reject stories that are dark for the sake of dark and have no light. I'm not saying the good guys always have to win, just that I don't want to read stories where struggling is pointless.

6384788 I'm still waiting to find out more about this world and the hows and whys of the mane 6 going batshit insane. But as hard as nails as Rarity here is, she still seems to have some weird moments when she almost seems like her old self in some ways.

Say what you will about the world. Hope certainly has a few sparks left in this storyverse's world. It's just setting up the players is all.

6385601 What's also grim is that the Bearers are all utterly irredeemable. They've already committed an astounding array of atrocities so sadistic and psychotic and sociopathic that regardless of whatever force that twisted them, nothing can possibly salvage them at this point realistically. They're utterly doomed and nothing whatsoever remains of who they used to be.

Even if they were to be freed of some Discordant mind control... really, how many of them would even be able to live with themselves knowing what they did?

Nothing less than the anti-Discord Fix Everything wave released by the Elements after Discord's defeat could salvage any one of them, assuming it would reverse all their countless murders.

They all must be killed and we know it. There is NO HOPE.

6387080 Rarity's already admittedly killed in cold blood, while also ordering killings. She's also permitting brutal slavery.

She's now the pony equivalent of a mafia boss. I do not think anyone would find a mafia boss 'sympathetic' even though they tend to be good with their own children.

By all quantifiable measures, she's irredeemably ruined.

As I just mentioned in a comment below, the ONLY thing that could salvage any of the Mane 6 is the Fix Everything Harmony Wave which undoes all the chaos, assuming of course Discord's behind it all and also that the Elements in this world even have such an effect.

6389458 Again, I reject your hypothesis. :facehoof: I don't believe that people are irredeemable. They could have to have a massive heart change and even then they would still have to answer for their crimes. If a hero was to kill one to protect more lives I think that is very defensible, but that doesn't mean that a heart change is impossible. I disagree that they *must* be killed. They are fair game to be taken out, but that isn't the *only* avenue. If they did have a heart change / freed from mind control / undiscorded, sure, they'd have a hard time living with what they had done, and maybe would willingly face the consequences.

I will say that I don't view fics such as this series and Starlight over Detrot as part of the equestria we know and love from the show. This is an entirely different world that borrows characters and objects, but is an entirely different construct. In this fic it is helpfully marked as "Alternate Universe" :pinkiegasp:, which is a good hint that you shouldn't necessarily expect it to play by the same rules or philosophy.


I don't believe that people are irredeemable. They could have to have a massive heart change

Wow... just... good lord. You've never met psychopaths, have you?

Anyway, Rarity seems to be more akin to a Magnificent Bastard with her schemes. She even has the bonus point trait of that archetype in that she offers the enemy a Sadistic Choice and gives a Slasher Smile.

She may personally reject the notion of good and evil and play for her own goals, but aside from the potential that she's controlled by a corrupted/Discorded Element, she's quite unambiguously wicked if one lists and reviews her actions.

6389847 I'm not arguing with the fact that Rarity's actions here are evil, and that she is not a good pony in this story. I was reacting to the absolutes that you were speaking with. I don't consider it likely that she will have a change of heart. As I said I think taking her life to save yourself or others is quite justifiable. However we apparently have a world-view difference on reformability and I am fine with agreeing to disagree and moving on. :applejackunsure:

6390016 I've simply seen what certain people can become. There are some who cannot be changed because they crave bloodlust. They are so steeped in it that it dominates all their thought and purpose. These are people even criminals fear.

Those who meet the qualifications of a sociopathic psycho-sadist are beyond the understanding of most people, because we can't fathom how their mind can tolerate the gruesomeness of their own driven actions. Even so much as viewing what they have done sickens us. To engage in it... it's beyond our comprehension. The mangled, warped workings of their minds are beyond our proper understanding, for which should probably be very grateful.

A true sociopath lacks the capacity for empathy, regret, and remorse; without which redemption is impossible.


...you're awfully sure of your diagnosis as a psychopath of a character in someone else's universe, aren't you?

6392783 If we're going to start redefining basic psychology now, how can we possibly know anything about the characters at all any longer? By that logic, the psychotics could be the ones talking sensibly and making rational decisions and this could be Pony Bizarro World. What's the point of writing a story for human readers if no one will be able to comprehend the characters?

In fiction, most aliens we're intended to relate to or understand their motivations in some manner tend to act very 'human'. Besides, we can still interpret actions as 'psychotic' when they meet OUR criteria, no matter how these weird aliens define it, since this isn't exactly an alien psychology textbook. They could define 'normal' as being a delusional serial killer who dismembers hookers in his basement, but WE call them psychos regardless.

On that note... as Mr. Plinkett makes note of that in his Attack of the Clones review... while plotting to murder Nadine after he finishes the review... we can't form an attachment or interest in characters we can't even relate to at all.

I've had these stuck im my head for a day or two now and I think I've figgered out how to put down my thoughts.

The Archer and the Smith; started with despair and worked its way to hope.

The Hart Thief; started with hope and then worked its way to despair.

This one has been bouncing between the two of them from the get-go. No wonder half the comments look lost. Despair turns to hope which becomes despair again, then we get more hope but tinged with despair but is still a sort of hope but then becomes despair again which then morphs into a sort of hope that gives way to pure despair. And then it all ends with a sort of "although there seems to be no real hope that doesn't meen you have to live in despair motif". No wonder this ones been stuck in my head for a few days :trollestia::facehoof:.

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