• Member Since 19th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

Hat


Comments ( 2 )

Very genius idea that made me laughing a lot! Hopefully, no one recites the spell when taking a bath in the spa, otherwise, Ponyville will be in ruins. xD

Just two plotholes I found while reading:

- Snowflake doesn't know where to get water from, but shouldn't Aloe and Lotus have told him where to get it from, as this was surely not the first time that they changed the water in the tub (hopefully :derpytongue2:)?

- The mirror pool water only creates a clone if the spell Pinkie Pie used in front of it is recited, otherwise, nothing happens. This is taking away a little from the humor.

And I'm not sure if "spa" is the right word to describe a giant bathtub or basin. It got me a little confused what you mean with it while reading and only realized it when you described it as "basin" later on.
It is confusing to read that way and I'm not sure if that's the common word for a basin like that.
Otherwise, good story!

Hat

6121021
Thank you very much for your helpful feedback!

It is indicated that Aloe and Lotus have been using chlorine to keep the water clean for who knows how long, but I can understand that this matter of logistics should have been thought about in advance. There are times when one gets caught without knowing how to accomplish what should be a fairly simple task, but that is probably an explanation which is a bit too convenient to cover my oversight.

You are right, I forgot about the spell. I'm not sure how I could work that in... maybe a poem somewhere that Bulk reads aloud (with reading aloud foreshadowed as a characteristic of him).

Basin is a better word. I'll see about putting that in instead.

Thanks again, and I'm glad you found it worth a read :twilightsmile:

Edit: I made a few adjustments.

Login or register to comment