Reflection Thirteen: My Greatest Gift, My Greatest Curse
Reflection Thirteen: My Greatest Gift, My Greatest Curse
“It's what my cutie-mark is telling me.”
The storyteller sighed softly, eyes vacant, distant.
Eyes are telling. Where someone is looking can tell volumes of their intentions. Are they focusing solely on you? Elsewhere? Sometimes they even betray thoughts- a glance at a holstered weapon, a longing gaze to the world outside, a voyeuristic look that plays escalator up and down a body.
What I saw in Hummingbird's eyes that morning was something I hadn't seen since I offered to sneak her into my dorm room in Canterlot four years ago. Something I never hoped to see directed at me again. Just a look.
A look of uncertainty.
* * *
We tried to... act normal about things the rest of that day. It was easy. We just had breakfast with Zoleks and Namira, then headed back to our mansion. We made idle chatter, talked about last night, how amazing she was. And once we were home, my parents welcomed me back with open forelegs. Everything was going to be okay.
Everything was going to be okay.
And everything was. We had a day, later a night on town. She made a few more bits with another breathtaking performance. Something special happened that day for her. Something incredible.
It was just after she finished playing. Always just one piece. She never had the energy for anything longer without resting in between. I couldn't blame her. But there was someone, somepony else watching. Somepony I didn't notice... until she approached Hummingbird as the small crowd began to disperse.
My stamping applause and my great smile both gave away into a quick stride and a straight expression as I approached her. “What are you doing here?” I asked in a tone treading the thin line between curious and cold.
Song Spinner, the black-furred pegasus and the mare I thought I once loved, faced me, her own smile fading away. “I just happened to pass by, Frost,” she said simply. “Look, I just wanted to talk to your marefriend, okay?” Hummingbird looked between the two of us warily, panting softly for breath.
“What for?” I questioned her.
“Frost, I'm not your enemy, okay?” She shot back at me, then sighed, “Look, it's not like I'm pulling her aside. I'm just making her an offer.”
“An offer?” the green mare asked, causing us both to look at her.
Song Spinner turned to her and replied, “I heard about your performances. Even stopped by a couple of them, just out of the way. How long have you been playing?”
“About two-and-a-half months, give or take,” Hummingbird responded with a slight shrug of her wings.
“Really?” the jet-black pegasus mare chuckled softly. “You're not pulling my leg are you?”
She shook her head in reply. “No, I'm serious.”
“She's serious,” I added, tone softening as I merely eyed Song now. I had my suspicions of where this was all headed.
“Then I got a question for you,” Song said to Hummingbird. “How would you like to play on an orchestra?”
She blinked- once, twice.
And then she fainted and flopped onto her back.
Song just gawked and quickly turned to me. “I didn't do it!”
“I know, I know,” I sighed, sprouting a pair of ice arms. “Just let me pull her out of the way. And then we talk.”
* * *
With Hummingbird safely lying down on a bench, I turned to face Song Spinner. “Why?”
“She has talent,” the jet-black mare answered. “Isn't it obvious?”
“She's been doing these performances for a little less than a month now,” I said to her. I kept my tone civil, even. “Why didn't you approach her before?”
Song opened her mouth and quickly closed it.
I tilted my head downward so that the brim of my trusty fedora slightly occluded my vision. I knew the effect from experience- making it look like I was narrowing my eyes without really doing so. And so I asked, “Why in front of me?”
Song breathed out a sigh through her nostrils. “Because I guess this is a way of saying 'I'm sorry'. This and the court case two years ago.”
“You know I nearly died, I hope,” I said coolly.
“I-I didn't know, okay?” she protested. “I didn't know!” She sighed, looking away. “You want somepony to blame? Blame Pick, alright? Not me. Okay, I... I helped him, yeah, but he bucking blackmailed me and didn't tell me what he was gonna do to you!”
“Blackmailed you how?” Again, coolly.
“Planted weed in my home and threatened to report me to the police with his evidence,” she snorted derisively. “Look, if had known what he was gonna do-”
“So if you were so against this, why the cold reception after I checked out of the hospital? And if you knew what he did, why'd you become his mare? Cut the crap, Song.”
“Frost, why are you asking all of these questions?” she sighed sharply through her nostrils, massaging her temple. “It's all done and over with.”
“Don't deflect the question, Song,” I said firmly.
“Look, he made me his, okay?” she growled, a bitter look in her eyes. “You know what the Mumei was to Pick after he got rid of you? He treated it like... like some war prize. I was his war prize. He made me his... his fucking slut and he told me to give you the cold shoulder, okay? Just... it's ov- it's finished, okay? Only reason I stopped is because I could finally get back at Pick in court that day, okay? Just... just fucking drop it, Frost! Just...” She sighed and rubbed her forehead, closing her eyes. “Just drop it.”
You could tell a lot about a pony through their eyes.
I relented, pulling my hat off. “Song... I just wanted to know. I just... wanted closure. Okay?” I walked closer and rest a hoof on her shoulder. It was the first time I'd touched her in years, and she flinched away from me. I could've sworn ponies didn't use to be that warm to the touch... I reached out again, and this time, she didn't resist. “Eyes on me.”
Her eyes on mine.
“Are you actually sorry?”
“Yes,” she said without hesitation and- more importantly- without looking away.
“Alright,” I said quietly, my tone softening. I let my hoof slip away. “This conversation never happened. Remember, the Mumei is finished.”
Song Spinner eyed me for a few seconds before nodding, looking somewhat relieved I think.
“Do you still keep in contact with the others?” I inquired. “Sunny? Blustery?”
“From time to time,” she replied, looking away. “We've, uh, more or less went our separate ways.”
“Okay. Okay.” I nodded slowly, turning away. Then back at her. “Song?”
“Yeah?” Back at me.
“Thanks. She needs this.”
Song smiled softly. “You're welcome. It's the least I can do.”
“But I'm holding you to it, understand?” I said to her, tilting my head down with both eyebrows raised.
“Heh... don't worry, I'll get it done.” She frowned. “Uh, listen... Frost... everything okay? I mean, I know it's your name and your magic and all, but... you're a little cold. Not, well, emotionally, I mean... physically.”
I looked at her, expression hardening. “How cold?”
“Like... chilly. Like you just came out of a cold shower.”
I sighed softly, turning away, silent as I worked my lips for a few seconds. I could feel my heart growing heavy, but I forced myself toward brighter thoughts. I just... smiled.
The storyteller grimaced at that.
“Song, you still play the piano, right?” I inquired. “You still have your portable keyboard?”
“Yeah, both yeah.” She nodded. “Why?”
I shrugged. “I was hoping you two could do a duet once she's back up.”
She smiled back at me.
* * *
I watched from close by as they played together. Hummingbird was having a little trouble sight-reading the notes, but once she heard the music in full, she nailed it after the third time.
And so I watched from the sidelines, reveling in the music, trying not to think about the dark clouds that were just beyond the fray.
* * *
“Whew... long day...” Hummingbird breathed out with a weary but happy smile.
“It's always a long day for you,” I chuckled huskily.
“Hey, now, don't go rubbing my frailty in,” she nickered, playfully jabbing me in the shoulder with her wing.
“Heh, don't worry,” I said to her, wrapping my forelegs around her. “I love you regardless.”
“Right back at you,” she said back with a smile, even as her bare body shivered lightly against me. She pulled away a little too quickly...
“So... ready for bed?” I asked with a soft smile.
“Yeah, sure, just... one sec,” she replied, heading over to the cupboard. My smile faded as I watched her put on her old sweatshirt, zipping it up.
“Everything alright, Hummingbird?” I asked quietly, almost timidly.
“Huh?” The green pegasus mare blinked at me. “Yeah! Yeah, yeah, I'm great! Just...” She broke eye contact, “gets a little chilly at night, you know? Northern Quarter and all that.”
It was mid-summer.
“Hummingbird...”
She let out a soft sigh and bit her lip. She looked up at me, looked away, and then finally steeled herself and faced me again. I saw something new in her eyes- sorrow. “Okay, Frost, you're... you're starting to get too cold for me. I mean... you were always a little cold to begin with, and I've been able to put up with it... just... last night was...” She didn't finish.
I let it all sink in. “... how long?” I asked.
Hummingbird met my eyes only for a moment before looking away again. “Since we first slept together...” Let it all sink in... all this time. All... this... time. How could I have not known? I must have had this hurt look because she moved closer, brushing my cheek with her wing. “Look, it's no problem. I've got my hoodie this time.” She smiled an empty smile. “It's no problem now, right?”
“Yeah... shouldn't be,” I said, smiling an empty smile of my own. “Come on... let's get some rest.”
* * *
The storyteller huffed softly, sadly.
“Rest”. I didn't get a wink of sleep that night. Hummingbird did, I know. I just watched her, keeping her close to me. So many confusing, conflicting, contradicting thoughts ran through my head. My heart raced, stealing my sleep.
I just watched Hummingbird. Even with her sweatshirt on, she curled her legs up and faced away, minimizing contact with me. I knew she was doing it unconsciously, but...
I just watched. Watched and tried not to cause her any more discomfort. I knew I should have pulled away and let her rest comfortably, but I... I needed to be close to her. After being away from her for so long, I needed to be close to her. I just couldn't give her up. I wanted her close...
I just watched. Watched her and the red, digital numbers of my alarm clock. The glare seemed hostile, angry.
Hummingbird.
Clock. 3:02.
Hummingbird.
Clock. 3:02.
Hummingbird.
Clock. 3:02.
Hummingbird.
Clock. 3:02.
Hummingbird.
Clock. 3:03.
It went on like that for the entire night. My heart just kept on hammering away, way ahead and winning when there was no real race.
When it finally hit 6:00, I stole away from Hummingbird, rummaged through the dark for my phone, and stole away outside the hallway down to the living room.
* * *
“Mm? Hello, Frost. What's got you calling this early?”
“Hello, Professor. Just, uh, two things.”
“Well, okay. I'm guessing this is important.”
“Yeah. First, well, I just sent you an e-mail with my additions to the Hydronomicon attached.”
“Okay, that's great! Yeah, I saw that yesterday. I'll start looking over it later after I get back from work. What's the second thing?”
“Professor, is... have you read anything about Mancers ever reversing their elemental union?”
“Reversing their... no, I don't think I've ever read anything on that.”
Sigh. “That's what I was afraid of.”
“Why? What's going on? … oh, no. What's wrong, Frost?”
“My core temperature is dropping.” Sigh. “I-I still feel fine, just...”
“... it's too much for your marefriend, isn't it?”
“... she has to wear her sweatshirt to bed with me.”
“Oh dear... I'm sorry, Frost. There's nothing off of the top of my head about anything like that.”
“Can you look into it? If it's not too much trouble, I mean. I'll be working on my end, too, but I read through four of the Mancer spellbooks. They didn't have anything on it.”
“I'll be looking into it for sure. We'll try to get you both through this, okay, Frost?”
No answer.
“... Frost, are you there?”
“I'm sorry, I have to go now. Bye.”
Click.
* * *
I slowly lowered my ice arm and set the phone down, looking over toward the entryway into the living room.
Hummingbird was standing there, ears tucked back, eyes so sad.
She said nothing.
I said nothing.
She turned and walked away.
* * *
“There has to be a way...” I muttered aloud as if the goddesses would hear my plea and answer it. “There has to be.”
My ice arms were tapping away at the terminal's keyboard. I tried three different search engines using Bullean searches, checked the databases for the archives at MMI and Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. I spent most of the day at home for once, just trying, trying, trying. I kept my ice arms busy. If I wasn't typing, I was twirling one of my balisongs. Just... had to keep my mind occupied. Had to keep myself occupied.
I found one text excerpt from the school in Canterlot.
I quickly changed to a different page and tried, tried, tried, kept trying. That would be a last resort, I told myself. That would be a last resort.
But the deeper and deeper I dug, the longer and longer I searched, I felt my heart growing heavier and heavier.
Finally, I felt a pair of forelegs tuck around me, and I looked back to see Hummingbird hugging me tightly. It was nighttime outside. “Frost,” she whispered, “just... stop. Just stop...”
* * *
Now neither of us could sleep. We just laid in bed together, saying nothing. Again she was curled up facing away from me to minimize contact. This time, it was conscious.
She broke the silence first with a whisper. “Frost?”
“Yes?”
“Maybe we should sleep on our own sides of the bed for tonight.”
I let out a soft sigh and pulled away. It was as if I was slowly pulling off a pair of Velcrow straps. It pained me to do that. But we did it without words.
The storyteller sighed.
It bothered me- it still does- that we were both able to sleep soundly.
* * *
“Professor?”
“Hey, Frost. How are things going?”
“Well enough. How about you?”
“Can't complain.”
“...”
“...”
“Did... you find anything?”
“Well... yes, but...”
Sigh.
“I'm sorry, Frost. I've been trying to find things all week. I only found one study from Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns dating four-hundred years ago that-”
“-says that the effects of an elemental union are permanent. And that only the progression of the union and its effects can be stopped. By ceasing practice of that magic.”
“... you found it too...”
“Yes.”
“I'm sorry, Frost.”
“I know. You said that already. It's okay. Everything's going to be okay.”
* * *
I set down my phone and... and... I just couldn't stand anymore. I just slowly turned around and slowly slumped down with my back against the wall. I looked about my bedroom, my gaze finally falling to the pictures on my desk. Photos of Hummingbird and me together had long since joined the ones with my parents and Zoleks. It was a clear choice with a clear decision. But even so, it was such a hard thing to do. Yet it was an easy choice to make. How could it be like that?
It was the first time in a long time that I hated my inability to perform any other kind of magic.
But it was a clear choice with a clear decision. Taking a deep breath to steel myself, I stood and headed for the door. No ice this time. I used my hooves to open it. Before I could even turn the handle, the door opened and I found Hummingbird on the other side. We both jumped and stared at one another like deer caught in headlights. Then:
“We need to talk.”
“I think we should have a....”
I swallowed hard and motioned to the bed. “Uh... shall we sit?”
She nodded quickly. “Yeah. Yeah.”
We sat down together, avoiding eye contact. We were silent for... I don't know how long. Only the music and wagon horns from outside filled the void. As one, we turned toward the other, opening our mouths to speak, hesitating.
“Y... you first,” I sighed, relenting.
Hummingbird swallowed and bit her lip. Her ears tucking back, she weakly said those words, those words that I had been dreading since she came in, those words that I hoped she would never say, “Frost... I... I don't think we're going to work out...”
My heart fell, and I felt myself sink with it. “H-Hummingbird...”
“It's... it's just starting to become too much, Frost,” she sighed, shutting her eyes tight. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...”
“No, no, we can't give up that easily!” I said with a forced... smile... I brushed her cheek, causing her to flinch but getting her to look at me. “There's a way to stop it. We can do this.”
“What... what is it?” she asked with a hint of hope to her voice, ears perking up.
“I just need to stop performing my magic,” I said with that... smile. Her ears tucked back and she looked crestfallen as she turned away. “It's okay, Hummingbird! Everything's going to be okay!”
“But... Frost...” she sighed, turning to me with a look that broke my heart, “it's your magic...”
“It's okay, Hummingbird!” I said, trying to sound as happy as possible. “I lived for almost nineteen years without my magic! I'd do it, especially for you!” I rested both my hooves on her shoulders. “It's for you, Hummingbird!”
“But I can't do that to you,” Hummingbird sighed with a pained look. “It's your cutie-mark, Frost. It's your special talent, your calling in life... I can't take that away from you, especially since you can't do any other magic...”
“Hummingbird, please... look at me,” I called to her. Our eyes met again. “It's okay, Hummingbird. Don't you want to be together?”
“... would you be happy like that?” she asked me.
I swallowed and- without thinking- glanced away for just a moment.
The storyteller shakily sprouted an ice arm and held up a single, wavering finger.
For just a moment.
She sighed softly, “This isn't going to work out, Frost...”
“Hummingbird-” I called, my voice catching in my throat, heart hammering away.
She just gave me that pained look.
“H-Hummingbird, please...” I pleaded. I choked up. I couldn't finish.
“I'm sorry, Frost...” she whispered, closing her eyes, lip quivering. “I... I had the time of my life with you, and you've helped me so much... I just can't keep taking and taking from you... I couldn't do that to you...”
“Hummingbird...” I begged. Begged. “Please, it doesn't have to end this way... please don't let it end this way...”
Her face contorted, and she couldn't hold it back. She galloped out of my room, hissing and heaving with tears streaming down her face. I tried to follow after her, but I just... I just lost all will to keep up. I just reached out after her with the most distraught look on my face.
I finally let my hoof fall.
Shut my eyes tight.
Headed back to my room.
Closed the door.
And wept quietly, feeling nothing but hatred for myself.
* * *
“... Frost?”
“Hello, Song. It's... been a while, I know. Deleted your number from my contacts. But I remembered it, just like everything else.”
“Jeez, you okay? You sound like you've been crying.”
“Look, I... I don't know if I can ask this of you, but... can you do me a favor?”
“What is it?”
“Hummingbird's moving out. There's... I can't send her to Zoleks and Namira without bringing bad memories of hers back. I... if you can, or if you know anyone-”
“I'll do it. I'll do it. Just... I'm sorry to hear that, Frost.”
“Thank you, Song. If there's anything I can do, just... just let me know.”
“Hey, the group has another recruit. That's good enough for me. Just... take care of yourself, okay?”
* * *
Zoleks opened the door, a smile on his face.
It disappeared as he looked at me, alone.
He hugged me tight.
And took me inside.
* * *
“Song?”
“Hi, Frost...”
“... hi, Hummingbird...”
“...”
“...”
“Is... everything going alright?”
“Yeah, yeah, everything's...” Sigh. “No. Frost, I'm... I'm sorry about... all this.”
“...”
“Look, I... I didn't want to do it either, but... it’s for the best.”
“...”
“It's better for the both of us, Frost. I... I know you don't believe that, and I know you don't want to hear it, just... I know you still have feelings for me. I know I still have them for you. I know you're all torn up. Me too... but... can we still be friends?”
“Friends? Of... of course. I'd-I'd never turn you away, Hummingbird...”
Sigh. “Thanks, Frost... I... I hoped I didn't hurt you too much...”
“No, no, I'm... better today. It's okay, I... I understand your reasoning, I...” Sigh. “I get it. Don't worry, we're still friends.”
“Thank you... shoot. Uh, I’m... I’m really sorry, but I have to go now, Frost. Please take care of yourself. Really. Don’t tear yourself up over this.”
“You too, Hummingbird. Stay safe. Stay healthy.”
Click.
“I love you...”
* * *
Click. Clack. Clackety-click. Cachink, clatter.
I picked up my balisong off of the floor of Zoleks' guest bedroom with a sigh, fanning it closed with a few rolls of my icy wrist. I didn't care anymore. I was using using my cryomancy. I didn't even really care that a light mist shot out of my mouth when I sighed like that. It didn't matter to me anymore. I was more concerned that I might have scuffed my best friend's floor- and relieved that I hadn't.
There was a knock on the door. Zoleks cracked it open shortly after and peeked his head in. “Hey, buck, you wanna hit the clubs?”
“Same answer as the last eight times, Zoleks,” I sighed out mistily again, my gaze fixed on my silvery blade as I pulled it into an Around the World, working it up and twirling it repeatedly around my index finger in a Chaplin. Silvery. Silvery... no Silver... what? I felt the odd compulsion to name her. Her? “Thank you for the offer, but... I think I'll just stick around here, if... that's okay.”
“Alright... alright,” he said softly with a shallow nod. “Hey, uh, your folks sent me a bit of mail that they got for you.” He set down an envelope on the nightstand with his mouth. “So, uh, take care, okay? Oh, and your parents wanted me to let you know that they're there to help in any way, alright? They're really worried about you, so... call 'em soon, okay?”
After he closed the door behind him, I brought out my second balisong out of its fetlock pouch and mirrored it with her sister blade. Her? Sister? What was I thinking? Nothing too flashy, I just... danced them together with simple techniques- relatively simple ones, anyway. I was starting to dabble into the intermediate skills now.
I finally made the short stride to the nightstand, pouching one blade and popping the other into an Aerial to catch it in an open position as I read the front of the envelope.
It was from the Department of Equinpology at Princess Celestia's School of Magic.
I flipped the envelope over and used my balisong to... Silver Skean. Yeah, there we go. I used Silver Skean to open the flap and read the letter.
And then I was reminded I still had my own Way to follow.
* * *
“So, guess I gotta call you Doctor Windchill now, huh?” Zoleks said, clasping me on the back as we left Manehattan terminal.
I chuckled huskily- the first time since... yeah. “Oh please, please don't. I'm just a graduate student in any case.”
“Ahhh, don't worry,” he said, giving me a light nudge with his foreleg. “You'll always be my buck, buck. Anyway, you have pretty good timing. Wanted to ask you something.”
“If it's hitting the clubs, then... sure,” I said with a smile at him.
“Well, actually, it's not about clubs,” Zoleks said.
“Holy buck, the sky is falling!”
“Good to see you got your sense of humor back, buck.” The chill zebra grinned. “Nah, I wanted to know if you wanted to see a concert this evening.” Then he added, “Hummingbird's gonna be there.”
I paused and stared at him.
“Hey, you gonna be alright, Frost?”
“Yeah,” I answered with a nod. “Yeah. Sure, I'd love to see her play.” I smiled. Nothing faked.
* * *
Namira, Zoleks, and I shimmied over to a place to sit at Carnegie Hall. It wasn't quite as posh as the halls in Canterlot, but it was just enough in my opinion. Everything had a nice trim that didn't scream, “All this could've fed starving foals, you know!” At the same time, it still gave a sense of... I wouldn't say “privilege” to be there, but it was more like it welcomed people in. I liked it.
“Look, there she is,” Zoleks pointed out as we sat. I leaned over and followed his hoof to find Hummingbird meekly setting herself up with the rest of the violin ensemble. In true Manehattan fashion, the entire orchestra was made up of all sorts of equines of all sorts of shapes, sizes, and colors. She was smiling and appeared to be joking with another mare, laughing a bit afterward. She was actually wearing a bow-tie, to my surprise. It reminded me of Octavia from back in Canterlot. I chuckled softly, imagining that she was trying to imitate her role model. I saw Song Spinner trot up to her and tap her shoulder. Hummingbird nodded as everyone began to take their places.
“So remind me again,” I said, leaning toward Zoleks, “this is a video game music concert?”
“I guess?” He shrugged. “Song Spinner just let me know that there was gonna be a concert with Hummingbird in it.”
“It's supposed to be music from the ‘Legend of Zelda’ series,” Namira explained for us, looking at the program. “That's the first big portion of this concert. Next part is going to be a mix from all sorts of games.”
“Heh... the things we poor kids missed out on,” Zoleks chuckled softly, shaking his head.
“Video game music,” I muttered. “Well, she's playing. We'll see what happens.”
“Hey, you thought classical music was bad,” Namira chided me with a smirk. “Give it a chance, alright?”
“Fair enough, fair enough,” I nickered.
The lights dimmed, and the conductor, a gray earth pony mare with a cool-blue mane, took the stand. The audience applauded politely as she smiled and took a quick bow, turning to the orchestra and motioning for them to go through the tuning check.
And, well... heh, here's your memento, folks.
Play it, Roanoke.
There was a fantastic, grand opening with the strings and brass joining together in a heroic medley, swaying back and forth accompanied with the clash of cymbals. Then there was a demure stroke of the harp and the muted support of the strings. Then the strings section began to set a melody, passing it back and forth with the woodwind with tambourines sprinkled in. The remaining sections joined each other in a grand rush of sound. Then the woodwind took over, passing it between brass and percussion and back to strings. The coda came up again and again, each time with new and surprising variations. Everything had an undertone of great power from the brass and percussion, which rose to overtake the other sections on occasion. And then everything came winding down. The opening played again, now softer and as an ending.
And then the next piece began, the woodwind playing softly. It grew slowly louder, the strings section joining in. Then the mighty percussion came in as it rose, then finally the brass...
Pause for dramatic effect...
Then all sections joined in in a mighty display of heroism, setting a powerful theme that the strings echoed beautifully, majestically. Then the strings set an undertone of struggle as the brass rose above it to greatness and grandeur. Then the music died down, the brass rising slowly as if in weary triumph with all sections joining in.
Then there was a quiet, gentle tune set by the piano, soon taken over by the strings with the occasional sprinkle of trumpet. It was as if it was telling the story of a hero's return home. It had an almost nostalgic tone to it, a sense of familiarity and relief with a bit of upbeat piano trickling in, as if representing playful children running by. The strings played a very touching, mellow tune with a recurring theme underlying it, growing more powerful as if in a reunion, the climax signaled by the cymbals before it wound down.
And it wasn't over. All of the songs seemed to tell a story, a story of an expansive, breathtaking world full of adventure, full of peril, full of mystery and discovery- a world for heroes. The pieces ranged from subdued and mellow to tense and powerful, full of grandeur to full of terror. There were tunes for journeying over wide landscapes, ascending to grand heights, fighting terrible foes... it certainly fit the soundtrack of a video game, yet at the same time, it stood as tall as any orchestral work.
When the intermission finally hit, Zoleks nudged me with his elbow. “Buck, you gonna be alright?”
I turned to him and nodded. “Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry.”
“You sure?” he asked, worried. “I mean... you sure you're over the whole thing with Hummingbird?”
“Yeah, I'm sure. Why do you ask?”
He sighed, “Frost, that was a forty-five minute orchestral arrangement. And not once did you take your eyes off of her.”
* * *
I met up with her and Song Spinner after the concert was over, catching them as they were headed back to the apartment.
“Oh... hey, Frost...” Hummingbird greeted meekly.
“Hey,” I said with a soft smile. “You did great out there, Hummingbird- and you made it through the entire performance. Just wanted to say I'm really proud of you.”
“That's what I've been telling her,” Song added with a grin. “'Course, she doesn't listen to me.”
“Heh... only because I pretty much spent all of the intermissions flopped on a sofa,” she chuckled softly. She nodded to me, smile fading. “So... how are you doing? I heard you graduated with honors. Sorry I couldn't attend...”
“Hey, it's fine,” I said, again with that soft smile. “No worries, really. I mean... I know you had this concert to prepare for, and it really paid off. You did amazing.”
“Thanks...” Hummingbird said gratefully. “So... what are you going to do now?”
“Follow My Way,” I answered. “I've found my calling in life, and it's equinpology and history. That's the path I lead.”
The green pegasus mare smiled softly back at me again. “Okay. Good luck, Frost. Oh! I-I still have this. I...” She removed... that hummingbird pendant I made for her three years ago... and held it to me. “I didn't know if you wanted it back... maybe as something to remember me by...”
My smile disappeared for a few seconds, so many memories rushing back as I lost myself in that pendant. I invested a so much energy to make sure it never melted. A permanent piece of me was left with it, I felt. And she had since-
“Frost?”
I shook myself out of my stupor and smiled gently to her, pushing her hoof back and then clasping it in mine. “Keep it. I'll always be able to remember you. Through here.” I tapped my forehead.
Hummingbird smiled softly and nodded, taking it back. And then she hugged me tightly. “Take care of yourself, Frost. Good luck.”
I hugged her back, letting out a shuddering, misty breath, eyes closed. “You too. Stay safe. Stay healthy.” I pulled away and smiled warmly as I could at her. “You're gonna go far, Hummingbird. I wish only the best for you.”
* * *
“Hello?”
“Hey, Frost. Everything okay?”
“Oh... hi, Professor Shinespark. How are you?”
Soft chuckle. “Hey, now, I asked first.”
Soft huff. “I'm doing... alright. Just trying to get an idea of where to go from here. Okay, now you go.”
“Doing alright myself. Just called and wanted to let you know that the new edition of the Hydronomicon is in circulation. Dunno how many will actually be interested in it, but I know academia will. I'll make sure you get your royalties, you hear?”
“Heh... thanks, professor.”
“Now, you're trying to find out what to do from here?”
“Just forming some ideas. Graduate school for both of my majors isn't too steep, but I'm not sure if it's worth the investment. Don't think I'm that great of a teacher in any case.”
“Well, just remember that MMI's always available if you ever need anything, okay?”
“Heh, I know, professor. Thanks. Be seeing you, okay?”
“I'll hold you to that. Maybe I can take you out to eat some actual Thulian fare sometime.”
* * *
“Hello! Jim Egan speaking!”
“Hello, professor. This is Frost.”
“Well hi there! What can I do for you?”
“Do you remember my term paper?”
“That I do! Could’ve used actual sources from the government sector, but it was still more than passable. What about it?”
“I think I'm going to take things a step further. Have any extra materials for buffalo?”
* * *
I opened up the drawer of my desk and took out a tiny case. I cracked it open, feeling an emptiness growing deep in me as I stared at the shining, glistening thing inside.
I closed the case, put it back into the drawer, and walked away.
I didn’t need her pendant to remember her by. I already had something else.
<===ooO Ooo===>
Footnote: Frost- Level Up! Level 13 Reached!
Perk Added: Ice Elemental Union (Rank Four)- The cold beckons. You are now 60% more resistant to colder temperatures and cryomantic spells are 20% more efficient. However, your body's core temperature is 40% lower and you are 80% weaker to sources of heat and incur a -200% penalty to fire resistance. These bonuses and penalties stack for each rank of this perk.
WARNING!- Prolonged contact with sensitive people and creatures can induce hypothermia!
Unlockables added: Soundtrack- Hummingbird and Song Spinner
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Oh, what a sight for sore, bedridden eyes this is. I've been bored out of my mind here.
Huh, I didn't honestly expect any of Frost's previous friends or acquaintances would ever have come forward amiably to him, especially considering all of the dark dirty happenings that went down in the days of the Mumei. I do believe they have an expression for this regarding books, covers, and the judging thereof.
Hoo boy, looks like what's going on with Frost is exactly what I was afraid of. I suppose it was inevitable really, considering that we knew this condition existed in the present time, but watching it unfold in real-time is a bit of a tug on the heartstrings, especially given the time and circumstances during which the change is occurring.
This hurts to watch (read), seeing Frost desperately trying to find a way to reverse the changes. True love has that way about it, that drives you to go to great lengths even if you know your efforts will be ultimately fruitless, and that I believe is what makes it that much harder to read about. You do a great job of conveying Frost's determination to keep the relationship on track no matter what the cost, which really makes it hit hard when Hummingbird calls an end to it. Watching Frost break down like that is tough, and while it's fortunately not something I have any experience with, I've seen it happen to a lot of people, and it's never pretty.
And... she wants to continue being friends. For some people this is like an extra knife in the heart, trying to go about your life pretending that there are no lingering feelings between you and the person in question can sometimes be impossible, and result in driving that person even further away. Curious to see if the two will ever meet again in the future, and how it will go between them, especially when taking into account their somewhat-awkward meeting post-orchestra.
Good to see Frost moving forward, at least. For the normal person the hurt would generally never go away, but it would become easier to deal with over time, as memory fades. Memory like Frost's though? That ain't exactly possible, and I'm wondering if this will come up more often in later chapters, or if, (and this is me going way out on a limb here, as I've got other, more likely suspects in mind) Hummingbird is Frost's mystery mare.
2308065 Bucking in a bookstore! You're fast!
I don't know how out-of-the-blue Song Spinner's return was, but ehhhh... surprise? She will be coming back later- and in a rather important way, actually.
This is the first major time I've really toyed with dramatic irony, I think. It's true that we know what Frost is like in the present day, but I wonder just how many people thought about that when I had him develop a relationship with a frail mare.
To be truthful, I've never really had any experience in this either. I know I managed to get this installment up much faster than I normally do, but I hope that I still did well in putting all the emotional pieces together.
Oh they'll be meeting up again in the future. You can count on that. I didn't build Hummingbird that much just to cast her off after a few chapters.
It will. Oh it definitely will. And heh... interesting.
Ah damit another chapter I'll spend the next two days thinking about to understand my feelings about this, why do i get so attached to all of the charcters I'm reading about?
To be honest i know nothing about love, there was never anyone in my live I really felt something for, so my thoughts on this are purely theoretical. Can't really say how I would take something like this. Not good probably.
At least he seems to take this quite well, at least he's able to overcome his hurts, but i wonder what consequences this will have. We know how he will be in the future but was anything triggered through this event or does it has other reasons?
well just have to wait and see, but nice chapter. keep up the good work
2308065 +1
2308485 Beeeecause I hopefully do a good job with my characters? Maybe? :3
Well, it might have an impact on him later. We'll have to find out, won't we? Thank you kindly. =)
And here I was worried that there was some slightly less honest reason for the distance. You know in the real world I never assume the worst, but in fiction I do.
Aw man.....
At least they parted ways in good terms. But still...
2311782 I was actually wondering if readers were thinking that way since I left the end of last chapter so ambiguous.
2312408 I hope things still remain exciting even without the action (barring the end of Reflection Eleven). Glad you liked it. =)
Yeesh, all for want of an 'Endure Elements' spell, eh? I guess DnD style magic kills drama though. Still surprised that in a land like Equestria there hasn't been any kind of enchantment research on items that simply let a pony handle extreme temperatures of cold or heat.
Still enjoying the story, though it looks like we're still nowhere close to the end of this flashback sequence. So far its been a lot of good world building and learning about Frost's early years, but we haven't even gotten to the start of the war yet.
2314854 If there was, the Northerners wouldn't have had to undergo The Great Exodus.
Frost is a complex character with a complex backstory. I hope things aren't dragging on too much for you, but if it's any comfort, there's going to be a huge timeskip next reflection.
Well I think we all knew what was coming. The title also rings with truth, I just wanna say, I don't want Mr. Hokkaido to be a lonely hermit with twelve guns and a radio tower.
2315163
True enough, though in the case of Exodus we've got millions of ponies being displaced and having to travel across a vast distance by hoof. It'd be a logistical nightmare to try and get any kind of hypothetical cold ward applied to that many ponies on that kind of scale; even if every unicorn in Equestria volunteered for a relief effort to learn and use the spell you'd still not have enough to make a huge difference. But we're talking one mare. Not saying this is a big deal, just a small sticking point in my mind for the kind of dramatic impact it's supposed to have. I just spent most of the chapter distracted from the actual drama and emotion of events because I was thinking Frost was barking up the wrong tree and going with the most extreme possible solution for the problem (stopping cyromancy altogether) and didn't even consider the idea of researching a spell that, compared to other magic in MLP (teleportation, flight, city-wide shields, conjuring things out of thin air) a simple ward against cold would be a fairly obvious possible solution. Even if a spell like that didn't exist you'd think he'd at least consider looking into researching one. It just... makes too much sense to me that it would exist anyway, but... yeah, my brain gets stuck on little things like that. Sorry.
Story isn't dragging much, as each bit adds something new to the setting or gets us another peek at Frost's character. I'm just very aware there's a lot still to go, what with the impact of the war, how he ends up in the Lunar Guard, his involvement with the war, then the time in the Stable. All this stuff hinted at in the first part of the story basically. If I seem impatient it's only because you did a great job setting up interesting characters and a plot in that first story sarc, I'm eager to get back to it, even if the backstory is pretty good to and important for understanding Frost.
2315505 Maybe he did research into that but found out nothing. I guess the wording was ambiguous on my behalf when writing this up. Maybe I'll edit that tidbit in.
Heh. Then you'll get a nice little surprise with upcoming intermission.
Well I have caught up and I just must say words cannot express how I feel reading this masterpiece. From the cold hard wasteland frost to his past and finding what he can accomplish also what it is he will lose that caused what we read in the beginning. Adder this is just to great for words for me this has surpassed the original Fallout:Equestria I look forward to the rest of the story and all the adventures of frost. Keep it up
2316219 Uh. Whoa. That's, uh, a bit presumptuous, don't you think?
... I do still not dig that corrupted text. Sorry to say it, but I really really don´t.
I think that it is because the story are spoken to us, and that it breaks that feeling. This story is like being told a real story, at times even with the bodylanguage of the teller and what not added. Frost have so many times been like a wall of ice before us, lying to each and every person that he have meet. And now do we see what I think should be his chaotic inner self?
It is not because I don´t like it, because I really think that it add something. But it is just still weird seeing (or I think we are) Frost when he have used mask after mask after mask, to hide who he is. I think that I know what you are going after, that it is a truth so big that he can´t lie or go around it, but it is still weird when we have leaned to take all about Frost with a grain of salt, using that to melt away his defences and find the core inside
I do not dig it at all. It is not because I feel less about the story, it is still really really good, and one of the few stories that can keep up the good quality from the first pairs of chapters to here almost 350K words later. But I can´t understand the choice behind the corrupted text.
As a little note, stop snooping around in my private life and find subjects that is troubling me when I read the new chapters. Last time was it a beautiful description of death, and a funeral that I can only envy for my dying grandmother, and now are it problems being so big that it is breaking a couple apart... Dude I mean it stop snooping around in my private life
2317106 You do make a good point about the text, and I still want the words to be there (they'll be important later on in the Ghosts of the Past segment). Do you have any suggestions or alternatives, such as using a simple set of parentheses or brackets instead?
Uh. It's a coincidence, I swear. >.>
2318002
I do sadly not have any idea about a better alternative, I am just sitting comfortable from my Overstallion chair and point out mistakes like always... It was not like you was expecting me to work did you
But serious, sorry I have no idea about what would give the wanted look and feel that you was after.
I just only left you a really small post on the resource forums. I am not really one to analyze written art, because I was always really bad at it.
As always, I updated the fic char sheets of both Frosts again with this chapter.
After the day I've had, I'm glad this story updated to brighten it just a little. So first off, I really enjoyed this chapter, been wondering when you would address Frost's temperature drop, it seemed to be a particularly important point in Frost's past. I also like the messages of Frost's inner thoughts, i.e, the garbled error type text with a single word hidden in it.
It's also admirable for Frost to try and keep in touch with Hummingbird, though also sad as it will be painful for him to see someone he loves but can't be with. Also yay! for Silver Skean's official naming. One thing I did have a problem with, was use of the name Legend of Zelda, it just feels out of place in the FoE universe. A ponified name maybe, but not the actual one. I had the same problem with Marijuana in earlier chapters, and felt it was a bit out of place.
2318022 It's okay. If you come up with some suggestions, I'm open to hearing them. =) Also, what did you think about the rest of the chapter besides that?
2318288 ... I need to check the site more often. @.@ Thanks though. ^^
2318321 Mmmmm... reactions to the corrupted text are a mixed bag. I'm thinking of changing it up, maybe using a simple set of brackets or parentheses instead. any suggestions?
To be honest... I'm starting to become ambivalent with ponifications. If I can come up with a good one, sure, I'll do it. But thinking back to 'Alhambronco'... ugh. Well, I'll keep that stuff in mind nonetheless. I'm glad to get feedback in any case.
2319315
I praise you time and time again, and it is getting hollow if I take up the same points with each comment.
The setting are still lovely, I really like the style in the phone conversations, and are going to steal it (no one saw me write that I would steal it!) if I can ever write a situation where it is needed. It is almost beautiful how minimalistic it is, only showing the talking, hinting at what there happens in the background, just like if you had a real conversation.
In some way or form am I surprised that Frost lost Hummingbird the way he did. Their relationship survived some of the only slaughter in that time period, and a whole other bunch of difficult things. But when they can´t touch each other, and that is in a relationship without any sex as such so far I can see, then does the ship sink? And even on the second night.
Yes I know that it is making her sick, but when they can get the relation to work long distance in a month, or how long the study trip was, how can sleeping against each other be so big a loss? I know that it is needed, that it is part of the character arc, and so well sculptured into both characters that it was hard not to see a mile away... now that we have all the pieces. But I had thought that he would lose her for real, like death for real, being the catalyst to something bigger... But I am harping on now, so don´t mind me.
The chapter was great, and as always is there noting that I can´t point fingers at.
2319372 It's actually something that I kept from that one time where Frost (back then Hokkaido) tricked the one aristocrat into withdrawing from the legal battle over Prop Four. I guess the style just stuck because of how ambiguous it was and how it leaves a lot to the reader's interpretation. :3
That's something I'm going to cover next Reflection early on. I can't believe I forgot to put it in, so thank you very much for reminding me. I won't say too much on it right now, but I will be putting it in, mark my words.
2319465
Nice that I remembered you about something... If I just knew what it was would it be even nicer
But I do just have to wait until the next chapter like the rest of your readers
2316668 Well just my opinion, laid it on thick simply because your writing style, character development, and the story teller point of view just got to me.
It's made me in to a reader again like I was some years back. I look forward to you continuing the story and can't wait for how it ends. Just hope it provides a true ending and not a cliffhanger like another Fallout I finished recently, but the work you put in to this I can't imagine that. 
2331804 *blinkblinks*
*looks at the title of the story*
*looks at the author information*
Why yes. Yes I did. :3
I really liked this chapter. Sure, I was slightly confused about Zelda being a thing, but whatever floats one's waterbound transportation device.
Well, I guess you can just do the depressing thing and string the engagement ring on a necklace or something.
I still don't fully understand why the Hummingbird decided to part with the main character? Maybe I missed something, but I never saw the reason.