Twilight has been nursing a crush on Rarity for a while now, and she can't contain it any more. She's going to tell her. How will she react? Will their friendship ever be the same?
I wrote this almost seven months ago, and I hated it. Then, two months ago, I tried to revise it and didn't really get anywhere and still hated it, but a little bit less. Today I tried to revise it again and didn't get anywhere (though I did cut out like 1000 words that didn't add anything) but honestly I'm pretty ambivalent now so I figured I might as well post it. There are still parts I hate but I don't really have any ideas to replace them so whatever, right?
Chapters (1)
So, Twilight had a crush on Rarity, then she assumed that she was rejected and Rarity didn't even think that anything was wrong? Then at the end of the story Twilight apparently develops feelings for Rainbow Dash. I was somewhat confused by that. Oh well, it's nicely written.
6096691 Wait I don't understand what you were confused by
So Twilight had a crush on Rarity, right? When Twilight walked away in the middle of their outing, shouldn't Rarity have known that something was wrong? I would have thought that Rarity would have gone after her to find out what was wrong. Then at the end of the story, Twilight tries to kiss Rainbow Dash, even though she had a crush on Rarity. I was just curious about why. It just seemed to come out of nowhere, I guess. Maybe I'm wrong.
6099402 Oh, yeah, so I'm not going to really try to defend the quality of this story, I think it has some real serious flaws that I would fix if I had any creative drive or time to spend on it, but for what it's worth I think you could read it as Rarity being too surprised and shocked by Twilight's sudden departure to really react in a way she'd be proud of later, though I will grant that it's weird that she drops out of the story at that point. The reason that Twilight goes for RD, though, is because Twilight just craves nonspecific affection. The entire reason she fell for Rarity was because she was showing her (purely platonic) affection over tea on a regular basis, and Twilight wasn't getting that anywhere else. This is part of the cycle of isolation into hope into despair into isolation that Twilight is stuck in, and it's implied that her relationship with Rainbow Dash could perpetuate that cycle.
For what it's worth, I'll defend my depiction of Twilight's mental state in this story, and basically nothing else. The reason for that is because this is nearly entirely autobiographical, I can approach Twilight's emotions honestly and completely, but I didn't have a full grasp of the events happening around me at the time I was writing this, or else their connection to the metaphors of the story were too tenuous for me to really write them well. Hence, I have a good reason for the depiction of her interaction with Rainbow Dash but not a good reason for Rarity's interaction with her. I am Twilight, I know how Twilight thinks. I'm not Rarity, I don't know how she thinks. Sort of. If that answers your question.
Thanks for explaining it. I can see why Twilight would feel that way, everyone needs to be loved.
I just have a very un-creative imagination, most of the time, so I don't see things in stories that other people might. I have to have things that are vague or hinted at, explained to me sometimes, otherwise I don't get it.
But yeah, the story was well-written and I'm glad you posted it.
Very lovely. What the story perhaps lacks in making sense plot-wise, it makes up for in really capturing emotion and making me feel these feelings of falling in love, depression, and anxiety. Your style is very weightless and dream-like –detached from reality perhaps even– and is something I both admire from other writers and try to emulate in my own writing.
Keep on keeping on.