• Published 5th Jun 2015
  • 1,362 Views, 16 Comments

A Little Loopy: Divergence Theory - MongoMango



When a time traveler messes with your timeline, what would happen? A series of short stories revolving around the different timelines in warewolves' "A little loopy".

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Divergence L27: Brush Long and Prosper

“Once upon on a time there lived a young unicorn named Sweetie Belle. An sweet and pure filly, she wanted nothing more than to make the world shine for what it truly was. Every day she would go out and clean the house from top to bottom, never missing a spot. But Sweetie Belle had a problem. She wasn’t very good at cleaning! While her intentions were good, all she managed to do was make an even worse mess of things. This saddened Sweetie Belle, who only wanted to reveal the shining beauty that laid beneath the dirt and grime.

One day, when playing near the edge of the Everfree forest with her friends, Sweetie Belle heard a voice call out to her. ‘Come forth, my dear filly. Come forth and see just how clean the world can be…’ Now, Sweetie Belle had always been told to stay away from the Everfree forest, but the voice sounded friendly.

‘I’m not so sure…’ Sweetie said to the forest. ‘My sister says icky things live in the forest, and that I should never go in.’

‘Dear filly, one cannot know the true meaning cleanliness until one has traveled through the muck and mire. Come forth and see just how clean the world can be…’ Wanting to learn what the voice meant by those words, Sweetie Belle began to head into the forest when her frie-”

“Miss Rarity! We’ve heard this story, like, a bajillion times already! We’re not foals anymore, you know?” The little blue filly crossed her forelegs and pouted. “Sweetie and her friends go into the forest, they face a bunch of challenges that all relate to cleaning in some way, blah blah blah…”

“Hush, Sterling! It is rude to speak to your elders like that.” The pink mare who had interrupted the filly scowled at her before turning to the older pony sitting before them. “Please continue Rarity.”

“Thank you Diamond. Now, as I was saying…

Sweetie Belle began to head into the forest when she was stopped by her friends. ‘Where do ya think yer goin’?’ asked her Earth pony friend.

‘Into the forest.’ replied Sweetie Belle.

‘But we’re not supposed to go in there! It could be scary… for you, I mean.’ her pegasus friend protested.

‘Girls, if we’re ever going to get our cutie marks, then don’t you think we should take some risks? Besides, I just know we’ll find something worthwhile in th-’ ”

“Ya mean the Toothbrush of Prosperity?” A soft whap resounded as a hoof smacked the back of the orange colt’s head. “Ow! What was that fer?”

“Fer interruptin’.” The yellow mare ignored the protests from the colt as she continued. “The whole point of th’ story is ta teach ya’ll the meanin’ of harmony.”

“But I wanna play toothpaste tag!” the colt whined.

“Would ya prefer ta spend th’ rest of th’ day helpin’ Auntie Applejack with her chores?” The yellow mare raised an eyebrow as the colt furiously shook his head.

“No…” the colt sighed, defeated. “Sorry Miss Rarity…” The mare nodded to the older pony, who gave a small chuckle.

“That’s quite alright, Melrose. Before I continue, does anypony else have something they’d like to say?” The older pony looked over the myriad of fillies and colts seated around her.

A yellow pegasus filly raised her hoof. “Miss Rarity, Jetset stole my necklace!”

“It was mine and you know it, Jetstream!” The red unicorn filly that sat beside her gave a little shove. A necklace made from floss and small, colorful bars of soap hung around her neck.

“It’s not my fault you changed your mind! It’s mine and you stole it!

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

The orange pegasus in the back facehoofed and groaned. Flying over to the the two, she grabbed them both by the scruff of their backs and gave an embarrassed smile. “Sorry about that. These two just never seem to stop fighting.” She grimaced as the two little ponies struggled against her grip to get at the other.

The older pony smiled. “I think we can continue the story later on. Why don’t you young ones go out and have some fun?” A unified cheer erupted from her audience as they all got up and rushed out the door. Breaking free from their captor, the red and yellow fillies raced after the others.

The orange pegasus sighed. “Raising two fillies at once is a nightmare. No wonder Rainbow Dash doesn’t have any foals.”

The yellow mare patted her friend on the back. “Ya know she’s only holdin’ off ‘cause she’s got the Wonderbolt Academy ta look after. And some of ‘em cadets are even worse than those two.” The mare gave a knowing look to her friend, who blushed and looked away.

“Come on, those three stallions had it coming to them for calling the poor colt a chicken.”

“Well, chickens do gotta stick together.” The mare grinned as a playful hoof landed on her.

The pink mare turned to the older pony. “You know, you’re getting better every year at telling that story. I remember the first time you thought of it Princess Twilight almost died from the lack of narrative cohesion.”

The older pony shrugged. “Well, I’m no A.K. Yearling. But I do agree, it’s been getting much easier to tell. I’m sure she would have loved it…” The older pony smiled, but her eyes remained distant.

Trotting over and putting a hoof on the older pony’s shoulder, the yellow mare spoke gently. “She would love it, especially since ya made it up so ponies would always remember her.” The three mares then gathered around the older pony, giving her a hug.

“Thank you, all of you.” Tears rolled down the older pony’s face as she felt the warm embrace of the mares she had helped raise since they were fillies. Wiping the tears away, she stood up as the three let go. “Come on, let’s go enjoy the festivities ourselves. For Sweetie.” The ponies smiled as they left, heading out into the bright, sunny day that awaited them.


Historians have long debated the origin of Prosperity Day. Formed during the Second Era of the Two Sisters, very little was recorded as to why the holiday was formed, only detailing how it became so. The oldest source of information concerning Prosperity Day—or Toothpaste Day, as it was once known—is a fairy tale following the adventures of a young unicorn named Sweetie Belle. While most of the story has been dismissed as fiction, it has been agreed upon that some elements may have been based off of true events. It has also been recently discovered that a unicorn named Sweetie Belle had indeed lived during that time, although whether or not this is the same pony that is depicted in the fairy tale has yet to be determined.

Author's Note:

MongoMango mongo I don't wanna leave the Congo, oh no no no no no no... (I'd use this for my catchphrase, but something tells me its copyrighted...)

Anyways, this is the first part of Divergence L27 that I'm going to write. I will eventually write out the entirety of the fairy tale, but not now. I'd like to update as frequently as I can and writing a legitimate fairy tale is difficult. You gotta include things like folklore, underlying themes that explore human pony nature, talking animals, etc. It's a boatload of things to consider, and as such I plan on reading up on actual fairy tales in order to get a feel for them first.

Also, if any of you could recommend an editor (or, you know, want to be an editor yourself *wink wink, nudge nudge* :ajsmug:) I would be grateful. Even when I do multiple re-reads, I still manage to miss a grammatical error or two.

Well, that's it for now. Get ready for the next story, coming to a FIMFiction.net near you!

Comments ( 6 )

6063883
Dammit I'm writer, not a mathematician :pinkiecrazy:! But seriously, I considered making it much longer, but I thought the urgency would have died off by then. Besides, I'm rewriting that story to more accurately reflect the source, so don't worry your pretty little head.

6064335
Sorry to burst your bubble, but not all the stories are gonna be dark, just some of them. Aside from the rewrite of Divergence L13 that I'm working on, the other stories I have currently planned will be much lighter.

Nicely done.

6076483
Will you settle for a cheesy, cliche-filled, male power-trip fantasy involving aliens, ninjas, and cyborgs?

6082215
Hauntingly beautiful music. Never seen Interstellar, but if the rest of the soundtrack is like that then even more reason for me to go and check it out.

Maybe you can mention the loops where sweetie was preparing to prank pinkie and rainbow dash as well.

6292257 or the ones where she died/others died and how others'd react to that

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