Five minutes later: The conclusion, part 1
Five minutes later
“What are you smiling at, Celestia?” Nightstare moon asked with a demanding tone.
“Oh nothing, just a funny little joke of mine.” She’d continue the grin farther, but she knew one twitch and it was all over. She just needed a little more time, her eyes were begging for relief and hospital assistance. It was just her, her sister, the ref, and the pony running the betting table remaining.
While they hadn’t been as vigilant in keeping awake, let alone partaking in turning their eyeballs into dust, they had at least remained loyal to the cause. The constant cycle of the servants coming in and giving a disapproving glare that said, “are they still going at it?" wasn't helping Celestia's morale.
The beam of light trailing the floor was soon approaching the target.
“Hey… Luna,” she spoke softly and conservatively.
“It’s Nightstare Moon.”
“What’s duller than the sun, more reflective than the moon, and can easily defeat a power hungry alicorn?” she asked, almost wheezed out due to exhaustion.
“What is the purpose of this question?”
It suddenly occurred to her that her sister was planning something to defeat her. Darting her eyes across every inch of the room, she searched feverishly for the something in question. The ref allowed her to move about the room so long as she could keep constant eye contact with his own. She ambled across and found an offending spoon on the floor that she never would have seen if she had kept her eyes at Celestia's gaze.
“Servants, how have you not found this lone piece of silverware sitting on the floor? Based on the smudge on its reflective surface, it’s been here for a few days. Remove it at once.”
Celestia winced in agony, forcing her left eye completely closed. To say it was anything less painful than absolute agony would have been a farce, but the thought of her plan being destroyed was just as mentally damaging.
“She has closed one eye Ms. Moon, do you desire to end the match?” spoke the referee.
“No, she can still participate with one open as long as the other remains completely shut.” The order was deemed fair by all parties, even princess Celestia, and so the match continued.
“Dearest sister, did you really think that a mere spoon would have been enough to finish me off? I’m insulted, I really am. Why don’t you just give up this fight?”
“Because… I’m not…” Her legs gave out underneath her and she fell to the floor, landing on her right side. Fortunately, she kept her eye lid from closing; however, the new reclined position was not favoring well on her eye’s strength, but her fatigue.
“Look at you now,” Nightstare moon mocked as she approached her fallen sister, “lying on the floor like a-”
Her jet black nose began to twitch involuntarily. “Like a-…a!!!”
“Sister, listen, you can end this madness… sneeze,” she said, practically begging.
“No! I shaaa-aaa!!!!”
She held a hoof to her nose, desperately trying to overcome her body’s natural function. Cautiously letting out steady streams of air through her nostrils, she alleviated herself from almost certain defeat. With a large sigh, she breathed out stress she didn’t know she was holding.
Celestia knew, by this point, that there wasn’t going to be any hope of a natural win. Her trump card had been played, Nightstare moon had avoided a sneeze, and she was alone. There was enough energy in her being for one final assault. It wasn’t going to be easy, but her time was limited. She predicted that her eyes could only sustain twenty more minutes before relapsing.
Picking herself up off of the floor, Celestia, though shaking and in writhing pain, began to step forward to the villain.
Annoying Author’s note: Ok, so, you know how I said that I had this entire story written? That was true when I posted the story… when I thought this wouldn’t gain any attention except for the select few people who I wrote it for. Needless to say, it’s expanded well beyond that so I’m going to re-write the conclusion and make it as epic as it should be. This will take a day or two because I am busy with outside priorities, so please be patient. In the meantime, feel free to speculate what our desperate little Celestia is going to do. Will she submit defeat? Will she force her sister’s eyes closed? How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!?
The world may never know.
P.S.
Seriously, why do you guys even like this story... it's badly written, even by my standards.
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we like it because it's random, and random things usually end up having disastrous, in hilarious, results.
Because I would believe that this would actually happen. Who knows what Celestia and Luna do up in that castle all day?
You know, as far as staring contests go, Celestia and Luna really are competing for second place.
We know who has the greatest stare in all of Equestria.
You have standards?
I think it's because it was a random, entertaining story that anyone with siblings could relate to.
(You should have seen the fights me and my younger sister had over the TV remote control).
I enjoy this story because I love doing staring contests, so it hits close to home.
Purdue University
A group of engineering students from Purdue University reported that its licking machine, modeled after a human tongue, took an average of 364 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Twenty of the group's volunteers assumed the licking challenge-unassisted by machinery-and averaged 252 licks each to the center.
University of Michigan
Not to be outdone by a Big Ten rival, a chemical engineering doctorate student from the University of Michigan recorded that his customized licking machine required 411 licks to reach the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. (411-364. Go Blue!)
Rejecting the notion that one needed active college status to undertake the Tootsie Pop licking challenge, a group of junior high students at Swathmore School used human lickers, reporting an average of 144 licks to reach the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Also...GO NIGHTSTARE MOON! LET THE STARE LAST FOREVER!
Fluttershy should compete with the winner
Kind of makes you wonder, what would happen if they had settled the whole canterlot wedding fiasco with a staring contest...I mean really.
632144
Yeah, I'm working on a fanfiction that will have chapter parts longer than this entire story, one that will be grammatically correct, and one that I hope will be generally interesting.
But, I'm also working on another really stupid fanfiction, somewhat skin to this, that won't boost my ethos as an author of decent writing, so we shall see.
I'll admit, all of my previous works suck...but isn't that why we write? To get better at it?
Because we understand that it's not serious. When you hear a knock knock joke, you know that it shouldn't be taken seriously, but you can still gleen enjoyment from it as long as it's well timed.
When you wrote this, we understood that it was a joke. And you even put effort into making it look good at a glance! Unlike some other stories I could mention.
That's why I still continue to read this story... even if I think the whole Nightstare Moon thing is worthy of a
It's just nice to see something new and engaging besides the usual shipfics and humans and self-inserts. Everytime I see one of those I just wanna
, but this is fun and entertaining! I mean, shipfics are good sometimes, but you get tired of them.
Have a mustache.
"... Love and Tolerance? Seriously? That died a long time ago, you will never catch me preaching Blind Loving and Tolerance. However your point remains valid, so in this post I shall explain exactly why your fic is shit.
In chapter one you start using old words such as "Thee" yet you spell it each time as "The." Though obviously hast not studied thy language properly.
Also, I cannot begin to fathom how after being back for so long, this is the first time Luna tastes one of these Muffins. Nor can I understand as to how a staring contest will solve anything.
But the worst part is that I haven't seen your chapters really say anything other than a gradual reddening of their eyes. No proper plot development is happening. I guess there is plot development, but the plot that is developing has more holes than Swiss cheese that went through a hole puncher."
-Fuliam
>>Fuliam
Alright, Fulliam, you little troll. Let me set this straight.
1. A sad, sad world it is when bronies no longer "love and tolerate." But I can see your point. I cannot tolerate your absolute bull****.
2. Obviously, THOU hast not studied thy language properly.
3. Well, I cannot begin to fathom why you would question her not eating a muffin. For Celestia's sake, why would you get hung up on that? If you
had just returned to Earth after a thousand years, the first thing you'd do is eat a muffin, right? Celestia knows it's at the top of the list.
4. The wonderful author, CosmicAfro, has already brought up this point: What plot? It's a staring contest!
I mean, seriously, do you need some sort of backstory or something? A flashback? Ulterior motivation? An epiphany?
And lastly, do you normally put your Swiss cheese through a hole puncher? I was just wondering if it made it taste better or something, because I don't understand that. At all.
I like it because it's funny. Admittedly, your writing has gotten worse as the fic has progressed. Just less checking? Did it in one night and got tired as time went on?
But still. It's an amusing conceit, and I want to see how it plays out. Not every fic has to be Dangerous Business or Yours Truly.
KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON, BRUDDA
621810
TROLL ALERT!
632767
That's exactly what happened, actually.
But, I'll send the final part to my editor so that it's all nice and spiffy. It might take longer than usual but I think it'll be worth it.
It's hilarious and, with what I know/think I know of those two, probable. THAT is why I like it. Oh, and did I mention it's hilarious?
636579
She wears golden hoof decorations, y'know.
............... GRAH!
EVIL! YOU ARE EVIL!
641692
Guilty!
632070 Eeyup
>> gomogomo777
Gomo, don't feed the parasprites. They multiply, you know.
Best thing to do is to find some music somewhere to chase them off with...
632233
My friends dad got to over 6000
I dont know
632122
I second this. I pray we get an episode focused on them in season three. This is quality head canon fodder right here, and I love it. Plus, I mean come on:
"“Sister, listen, you can end this madness… sneeze,” she said, practically begging."
That's pretty damn funny. And poorly written my ass, I'm going to your page right this second and reading your other stuff if this is what you consider poor writing.
I never root for nightmare moon.
This story is badly written.
680384
Cool, I'll say what I said to the other person who commented with negativity, "how can I improve?" If a story is bad, I need to know why so I don't make the same mistakes again. I mean, clearly, if the story is terribly written you know how to do better.
680451 You should know when a story is badly written... so why not fix it yourself? But, I meant it to be a question not a statement... forgot the "?"
680491
Oh, woops, then there was a misunderstanding then. My bad! Question marks make all the difference!
Why do I continue reading this story?
*Shrug* Nothing better to do.
It's not bad.
Or maybe it's so bad, it's good.
I never could tell the difference.
Also, where's the "?" at the end of the question?
It's badly written? You mean poorly written? Oh well, I like this story when they hit hour 2 and fab when nightstare moon entered.
... Random entertains me