The search for a Consort
Princess Celestia returned to her hooves as sunlight graced the Equestrian soil, the cheerful alicorn raised her hoof to the adoring crowd of cheering ponies, some old and frail while others remained in the prime of their youth all showering their ruler with worship and adoration. “Have a pleasant day mares and gentlecolts.” Her soft, dignified voice spoke. Words of love and happiness echoed in her ears as her great wings took flight, allowing the tall mare to easily sweep through the warming sky.
Equestria's leader passed over many villages on the way back home. The sight of foals leaving their homes for school, and couples sitting down for breakfast outside the numerous restaurants pleased her greatly. This was one of the happiest moments of the day when her powers to bring forth the sun gave most ponies a bright new start to another cheerful day. However she knew all to well that some didn't embrace the simple pleasures her powers provided at this time. Celestia flapped her wings for their final beats as she returned to solid ground. Her hooves echoed through the marble masonry as she entered the Royal Palace through a balcony.
Darkness suddenly overtook her eyes as she passed through the thick purple curtains. It took some time for her eyes to properly adjust to the dim lighting given off by a few candles adorning the multiple surfaces. A delicate tune filled the air which grew louder as she approached its source. She smiled with a hint of sadness to the melancholy song being played on the grand piano. She approached the dark figure barely illuminated by the candles, her flowing mane glittered with stars as her silky dark blue hooves played their elegant song. Celestia approached her sister and simply stood beside her as she continued to play.
Luna always preferred to keep her beautiful eyes closed as she played to lose herself in the music, a calmness that allowed her to continue to play despite her sister's observing presence. The song played for another few minutes, even managing to bring Celestia to a few hidden tears before it came to the inevitable end. The Princess of the Night let out a soft sigh as she closed the lid over the piano's keys, before turning her gaze to meet her sister. “You cried again, dear Sister?”
“Crying is a fitting emotion for such music.” Celestia responded, clearly knowing there was no use concealing it. “You always play it so beautifully.”
Luna offered a playful smile. “Our celestial body does beckon the emotions of those who enjoy the soft silence of the night sky.”
“And in the morning, 'our' celestial body gives joy and bliss to a whole new day of fun and love.” The lighter alicorn stated in retaliation, earning a smirk from her loving sister.
“That may be the case for you, Sister.” Luna yawned softly. “But it is nearing the time for my rest.”
Celestia patted her sister's back briefly, before smiling and making her way to the bedroom's internal entrance. She paused in her path to gaze her caring eyes back to her smaller sister rubbing her eyes with another soft yawn, sitting down on her large double bed with fluffy pillows and subtly delicate silk sheets. A fitting place for a Princess to sleep with the distant fireplace offering just the right level of warmth. Luna lay herself down to get comfortable in her bed, cuddled up on the left side which left the rest looking so vacant, the same missing element she often saw in her sister's life. “Luna.”
The sleepy princess responded with a soft moan first before speaking. “Tia?”
“It is your birthday soon.” The pearl alicorn began, unable to help but smile to her sister's use of names.
“You can just get me a book or something.” Luna yawned quietly, rolling over to her other side. “Or maybe a violin.” She brushed her face against the comfy pillow after speaking.
“I was thinking more about your company.” Celestia started to speak her mind. “You really do spend a lot of time in your room.”
Luna moaned once more, her mind half asleep. “You can ask that pegasus Twilight Sparkle mentioned.” She yawned again softly. “She may have an animal of some kind.”
“Sister.” Celestia called a slight bit louder than her previous words to catch the attention of the mare who was trying to sleep. She knelt down next to the bed before re-alliterating. “I think it would be best for us to look for a consort for you.”
Luna groaned a little to the concept. “Why can't you just have one.”
“Because I worry for you sometimes.” Celestia chose as her response to the question this time, having already brought up multiple other reasons on the previous times she suggested a special pony for her sister. “Last Thursday when I had to raise the Moon and then spent the night holding you...” She trailed off briefly with a sigh before continuing, her eyes tearing up. “You don't need to be so alone.”
Luna laid in silence for a short while before finally speaking. “There isn't anypony for me.”
“You are sweet and beautiful and delicate Luna, there's so much about you ponies can love!”
“Like being a Princess, and being popular. Being an ego boost to whoever wanted it.” Luna replied with clear sorrow in her voice, rolling once more to face her sister.
Celestia stroked her sister's flowing mane to comfort her. “Most ponies are not like that. I will do what I can to help you find somepony special, okay?” She waited until her sister nodded in approval before giving a delicate kiss to her forehead, raising to her hooves to leave the room through the corridor entrance. “I'll handle things for when you wake up. Sleep well Sister.”
“Thank you, Tia.” The sleepy alicorn replied softly as she drifted off to her much needed sleep.
It had approached afternoon by the time Luna finally awoke, a little earlier than usual since she had managed to sleep relatively swiftly. Pleasant dreams of staring into the moonlit night with a close friend by her side, somepony she held close and shared whispering words of love between. But as she recalled the memory she failed to see the face of the pony in her dreams. A slight annoyance to the Princess who had the ability to explore the dreams of others. She yawned briefly before raising to sit on the double bed. She levitated over the warm cup of tea which her servant had recently brought into the room, sipping it slowly to wake herself up.
Once Luna had finished her aromatic drink she began to make herself presentable, levitating the tiara and silver shoes over from the vanity and fitting them in place. She brushed her mane a little before making her way into the corridor, passing the servant and nodding in approval to her perfectly performed duty as usual.
“Princess Luna.” The servant called to her, attracting the Princess' attention. “Princess Celestia is awaiting you in the ballroom when you are ready.”
“We see, thank you Charmed.” Luna's caring voice gave a rush of affection to the servant who swiftly bowed as she continued past her. The Princess wasn't sure what her sister wanted her for today, slowly making her way to see for herself.
The sounds of many voices speaking hit Luna's ears as she approached the ballroom, trotting through the doors as they opened for her. “My Sister! Please join us over here.”
Luna panned her eyes across the collection of posh nobles who began to look her way, continuing her panning she met the voice of her sister who called for her standing on the higher ground of the stage. She was joined by Princess Cadence and her husband, Shining Armor. She approached the three of them before almost tripping over the tail she hadn't seen. “Oh do be careful Princess, I came here for a Romantic play, not a Tragedy!” The large mismatched figure of Equestria's own draconequus began laughing to himself in glee. “Well now the Star of this event has arrived! Would you like a little make-up?” He stated before lifting a large pie-dish filled with baking flour near her face.
“That will not be necessary, we are already well presented.” Luna replied coyly, earning a dissatisfied groan from the likely uninvited attendant.
“Fine. But I'm still going to watch.” Discord finalised as he sat down on a small deckchair which seemed to struggle under his form, drinking a multicoloured slushie with a hollow reed.
Celestia smiled at her sister with her almost natural knack to deal with the Demigod of Chaos in recent years. “As promised with the help of Cadence and Shining Armor we have collected the most likely of the nobles who we believe may suit you.”
“You are really going through with this?” Luna replied, still unsure to the whole idea. She gazed around into the prying eyes of all the ponies present, feeling uncomfortable to the situation.
“We weeded out a few, but we didn't want to limit the range of personalities.” Cadence responded.
“I could vouch for those who serve in the Guard, I made sure to pick the nicest.” Her husband continued.
“I really don't know.” Luna cautiously whispered between them so that none of the guests could hear. “How am I supposed to tell if they could get along with me.”
“Don't be so harsh on yourself Sister, just start with asking them questions.” Celestia replied, giving a soft smile to support her. Luna sighed lightly before breathing a few deep breaths, then making her way to the front of the stage.
“This should be Priceless!” Discord happily joked as he continued his cold drink.
“We do not wish to be seen as solely a Princess, but more as a mare with a desire for company. A mare who desires a mutual interest and joy in the company of each other. Is that desire made clear?” A unanimous sound of approving voices filled the room. “Very well. Then we shall begin. You! Speak your mind on this matter.” She stated sharply pointing her hoof at a member of the audience.
“Oh, well, err I would love to spend my time with you. We could go to museums and I have a whole list of romantic restaurants we can eat at. All my friends would love to spend time with you and-”
“Next, you!” She cut off the first before demanding a second to speak.
“Well I'm a writer and I've written a poem that expresses my passionate feelings for your beauty, I read it now.”
“Next! You!” She once again cuts the previous speaker off.
“I could spend the rest of my life simply holding and caressing you.”
“NEXT!” Luna thought to herself for a few seconds before speaking once more. “A question for all. The day is as long as the night, would you be desiring to sleep through that lengthy night to wake up with us early in the morning?” Once again a unanimous approval lit up in the voices of every one of the selected guests. “Thank you for your honesty.” Luna attempted to sniff back the water in her eyes as she made her way outside, to return with speed to her bedroom.
The nobles looked to each other confused as Discord began to laugh, pulling out a scoreboard from his drink with the words. 'Home one, Away zero!' written boldly in chalk.
Celestia looked over to the flash of light which marked where Discord previously sat, before turning her gaze to Cadence and Shining Armor. “I need to go and talk to my Sister.”
“I will join you, I know most about this sort of thing.” Cadence stated before turning to her lover. “Can you let them out, Hun?”
“Yeah don't worry I'll handle this, see you when you get back.” They shared a brief but loving kiss before departing to handle their respective tasks.
Both princesses had an easy enough time following Luna, already expecting her to head to her bedroom which was made clearer by a trail of reflective tears still giving off a soft hue of alicorn magic to shimmer in the light. Upon reaching her room they heard a familiar voice on the inside and paused their entrance.
“Come on it's not that bad, they were probably all annoying anyway!” Discord speculated as he held his paw around the upset princess' shoulder. “Take it from me, I got turned to stone and Celestia hurt her leg every time she tried to kick my sculptured flank!” He changed his form to portray the event taking place, earning a slight giggle from the dark blue mare.
Luna wiped away her tears before speaking. “I know you are trying to cheer my mood, it just hurts to be so alone. To have no one understand me.”
Discorded smirked briefly before clicking his fingers to open the door, causing Celestia to fall forwards from the keyhole. She recovered herself with an annoyed glance to Discord who replied with a smile of satisfaction. “Well your cavalry is here, Princess.”
Both mares approached the dark alicorn, sitting down beside her on the bed. “You are loved Luna.” Princess Cadence reassured her while softly brushing her mane with a hoof. “Both me and your Sister and all who know you love and respect and admire you.”
Luna gazed up from her hooves to the radiant pink alicorn before her, water still building up in her teal jewelled eyes as she spoke. “I fear after being alone for so long, that is all I will ever know.” She soon fell back into her hooves to continue crying, much to the other's dismay.
“How about those you talked to?” Cadence asked. “Sorry to bring them up if they caused this, but how did it effect you so? Perhaps it could help find you the right lover.”
Luna nodded as she sniffed back a few tears. “They all just stared at me like I was a prize, one of them was saying he would be showing me off to his friends like I was such a thing...the same with the others speaking of my looks like they couldn't wait to take me back home and put me on their mantle-piece.” She rubbed her eyes with her soft hoof, the silver shoe having already been thrown off as she entered. “Then I asked them about the night. They didn't even question it, they hated my night and wanted it to be over so they could enjoy their sunlight!” She burst into tears once more, this time having Celestia come and support her as well as Cadence. “Why does everypony hate my night so much... it's like nothing has changed since She.”
“That's in the past, Sister! They don't hate your beautiful night, how could any living thing not adore your calming moonlight.” Celestia spoke, hugging her sister close. “There are many who prefer sleeping through the day, we merely need to find the right one for you. ”She cuddled her sister once more to comfort her. “What do you think we should try next Cadence?” She turned to face the Princess of Love, who had the draconequus whispering something into her ear.
Discord faked shock as they were spotted. “Oh can't we have an intimate discussion in private?!” He stated as he clicked his fingers, a large beige curtain suddenly unfolded from a floating rail, concealing Cadence and Discord in such a way that only their silhouettes showed. Celestia began to tap her hoof in annoyance as the dark images began to perform relatively rude actions before she finally snapped and pulled the string to unfold the curtain. Finding only a floating pie-dish of baking flour behind it, which soon flew right into her face.
The now even whiter alicorn groaned in annoyance, levitating the pie-dish away and patting her face clean while the sound of giggling filled her ears. But instead of shouting at the trickster, she found herself cheering up as she noticed it was her sister who was giggling. “Well I'm pleased you found that entertaining.” Celestia began to collect the flour she could back into the dish as the pink alicorn re-entered the room with a clear smirk on her face. “Pleased you found it entertaining also. Now where is He?”
“Discord told me to tell you he was heading to the kitchen to prepare a new treat.” Cadence responded happily.
“Oh really, because I have one right here for him.” Celestia retorted as she finished patting the flour in place, making her way out of the room with her recycled weapon.
Princess Cadence slowly made her way over to the now smiling alicorn on the bed, sitting beside her and holding her hoof. “I have a friend who may be able to help us, she works for Eternal Hearts, Canterlot's dating agency.”
“Did Discord put you up to this?” Luna questioned, feeling uncomfortable. She noticed the pink alicorn pause briefly before finally nodding her head in response. “Finding a consort in the court was awkward and problematic, I do not see how amplifying that with a dating agency will help.”
“We are aware of how awkward you find such things. However it would broaden the range of possibilities.”
“For more who would want a Princess as a trophy.” Luna retorted with a slight coldness.
“No, not at all! I have a form here so let us begin.” The pink princess replied before continuing with a slight unease. “Name Lulu, gender female, race unicorn.”
“This is most certainly against the law.” Luna replied, looking at her friend inputting incorrect information.
“There is a loop hole which, allows this.” Cadence continued.
“You paused.”
Cadence sighed lightly before meeting her aunt's eyes. “Technically, we can get away with it. Would you rather admit to being Princess Luna to all who would want to date a Princess?”
The dark blue alicorn remained silent for a few seconds before agreeing. “Point taken.”
“Great! Now let's continue.” Cadence levitated her quill to the night-stand, dipping it inside the ink pot before returning to the parchment. “Okay so that's name, gender and race. Orientation?” She waited patiently for a response, before needing to repeat the question. “Your sexual orientation?”
“I do not understand the question.” Luna replied honestly.
“You, well.” Cadence smiled warmly as she tried to word it. “Which gender do you find most, pleasing to be with and to go to bed with.”
The Princess of the Night rubbed a hoof against her face briefly before speaking. “I have always found the times we spend together the most enjoyable. So it would be female.”
“Yes but we are relatives, not ponies who you would want to sleep with.”
“My Sister has slept with me often.” Luna commented.
Cadence giggled briefly before stopping herself to speak openly. “I hope you don't mind me asking, Luna. Are you a virgin?” She noticed Luna growing a sudden blush to the question, before smiling warmly and continuing. “There's nothing to be shy about, Auntie. I'll just write that you are undecided.” She wrote that down, while keeping in mind one of the reasons why trying to find a lover has been so awkward. “Okay next question. Which race would you prefer?”
“Alicorns.” Cadence tapped a hoof on the parchment to remind her of the choices. “Then unicorns. It would be a shame not to fly together but a knowledge of magic is vital.”
Cadence continued to tick the boxes as they came up, most of them from that point either being swiftly answered statements or long and drawn out debates usually resulting in answering a lack of preference for ease. Until she finally came across the final box. “Okay so here we explain what it is you are looking for in your mate.”
“Adoration and a deep desire for the night and all the natural beauty thereof for the most pleasant hours of the day, with a deep affiliation with magic and a smart intellectually interesting mind. Active during the night with an interest in poetry and writings of debates with love of arts and musical performances who will attend plays and musicals and theatre and films and galleries and-”
“Okay! And we are out of room.” Cadence continued to try and fit in most of the words she still hadn't gotten around to writing yet from Luna's long list of traits.
“There is still more.” Luna attempted to continue.
“Then you will need to ask him or her when you meet them!” The Princess of Love happily finalised as she finished the final word. Checking over the parchment form they had filled in. “I always knew you were interesting, but there probably won't be many that will fill all these demands.” She looked over to the princess she was helping, and quickly continued before she had a chance to cry. “No this is great for you! It means it should be much quicker to find the one for you!”
Luna wiped a little liquid from her teal globes before smiling. “It will be possible to find a consort with this?”
Cadence petted her mane briefly before replying as happily as she could. “I'll head over to Eternal Hearts right now for you. You have a nice time looking forward to tomorrow.” Cadence bid her aunt farewell as she made her way onto the marble balcony, spreading her wings to lower herself calmly to the city below. Feeling the soft blow of the wind as she descended with a gentle speed until she finally hit the pavement below with barely a sound. Lowering all four delicate hooves to the cobblestones as she began to trot along, nodding happily to the mares and colts of the town who greeted her.
The sun was still high in the sky as Princess Cadence neared the door of Eternal Hearts. She passed through the colourful garden, sniffing in the beautiful flowers outside before making her way inside. The same aromatic scent filled the reception from the numerous flower pots making the already bright room more enjoyable. “Cadence! Lovely to see you.” The Princess turned her gaze to greet her friend with a warm smile “How is your husband treating you?”
“As lovingly as ever, thanks for asking.” Cadence replied cheerfully to the friendly banter. “I have a favour I'd like your help with, Tulip.”
“Oh? Anything for you Princess.” The light yellow unicorn replied smiling. She noticed Cadence motioning her head towards one of the rooms as a hint. “Let's talk about it in my room.” They made their way over to one of the consultation rooms with her nameplate on the door, she opened the door for her royal visitor before closing it quietly behind them. “Please take a seat.” They both sat down either side of the desk. “So what can I help you with?”
The pink alicorn removed the parchment from a sleeve before placing it on the table. “I'm handing this in for a close friend.”
“You know the rules, you can come with your friend but we still need to see them to make sure this information is correct.” Tulip responded professionally, reaching over for the form.
“I can vouch as a full character witness for her, that all the information in that is correct to as far as my knowledge.”
“Cadence...” Tulip quietened her voice down. “It was only to be the one time.”
“I cannot but help love to bloom in the face of adversary.” Cadence said with a smile. “I trust her.”
Tulip began reading through the form, eventually smiling as she pieced the information together. “You are positive you wish to do this?” She waited until Cadence nodded in approval. “As a royal engagement, I guess I have no power to refuse to help. Do not let this get back to me.”
“I won't, if you find somepony suitable we can check on it for her before the meeting.” the Princess pondered for a moment as she watched her friend check the form before asking. “Do you think you can find somepony for her?”
“This is very niche. I really don't know if I could find anypony who would suit-” Tulip suddenly broke her sentence. “Wait, I recall one.” She spun around on her swivel chair to the side, reaching past the usual drawers to a small dusty stand. She closed her eyes and recoiled as she blew the dust off the sleeve she levitated before her mouth, checking the name before pulling the parchment out.
“Are you sure that pony is still looking for a partner?” She stated cautiously to the idea of how long it had been sitting there.
“We haven't been informed at least. These clients are, well. The professional term is niche clients.”
“Difficult ones like Luna you mean?” Cadence retorted.
“You could put it that way.” Tulip smiled in response. “This is from almost four years ago, but it pretty much hits everything desired.”
“What is their name?” Cadence's tone lift up to the idea of finding somepony for her aunt.
“An interesting one called 'Confidentiality'” Tulip smirked to her friend before continuing. “Once they agree to it then I will let you know the name, when would you like to set up a date?”
Princess Cadence thought to herself briefly about the best options. She didn't want to make Luna wait any longer and her birthday would be perfect if it went well, but there was always the chance it wouldn't work out. But she had faith in her friend to choose a fitting pony for her auntie. “I would gladly pay for express messages if we can do tomorrow night, around 10pm?”
Tulip sat back on her seat as she levitated over a blank parchment. “Very well, I'll send this to 'Confidentiality' and when 'Confidentiality' responds back if in agreement I'll send another two for the confirmed date. Any preference on the date location?”
“Palace Walls Restaurant, to meet at the Royal Lake table.” Tulip gazed over her glasses to her friend, reminding her to change her mind. “Oh of course, one of the garden tables to keep it a secret.”
The yellow unicorn finished writing the letter and placed it into an envelope. “Very well, that is everything sorted. Now to just send this off and await reply.”
“Thank you so much ,Tulip!” Cadence swiftly leapt around the desk to hug her friend. “I can't wait to see Luna happy! I really hope this works out for them.”
Tulip staggered back to her feet once the hug broke, smiling as they both made their way outside. “Oh I'm positive they will like each other.” Once outside the sun had already started it's descent, nearing the evening. Cadence bid her friend farewell with a large smile before bursting into the sky with a strong beat of her wondrous wings, blowing the grass and flowers of the nearby garden as she took her charismatic leap into the heavens. Tulip brushed her mane back into place before making her way to the mailbox, and as she raised her hoof to call for the nearby express pegasus a sudden flash of light erupted before her, snatching the letter from her grip.
“Ah Tulip so wonderful to see you!" The huge figure stated, clicking his fingers to conjure a bundle of flowers, which instead of petals were adorned with miniature paintings of multicoloured tulips.
“You are, Discord?” The curious unicorn asked with as much confidence as possible. Suddenly a flashing neon sign appeared behind him with a ringing sound, lighting up the letters. 'HOLE IN ONE!'
“You couldn't be MORE correct! First try every try you earned a special prize!” Discord yelled with ecstatic joy. “You have earned a once in a life time assist from the LORD OF CHAOOOOOOOOS!” A sudden roar of clapping came from a section of stadium seating occupied by cheering puppies and kittens. “Now the LORD OF CHAOOOOOOOSSSSSSS” He continued before snaking around the unicorn's body with agile speed, and whispering into her ear. “Will deliver this letter for you.” Tulip opened her lips to speak in objection before having a paw placed on her lips. “Twilight Sparkle, Golden Oak Library, Ponyville. Don't you worry your sweet little stem, CHAAAAOOOOOOSSSS has got this!”
With another flash, Discord and his accompanying crowd vanished without a trace, leaving Tulip and the other nearby crowd confused in their wake.
Fun note, this was meant to be a single part story, then Discord some how made his way inside. Then everything changed.... I think I just really wanted to write some more Discord. 
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This seems like it could work out to be a good story.
6053016
Already didn't expect it to go as it did, so I'm looking forward to writing the next bit too. Discord is just too fun.
Can not wait fore more love this story
Seems interesting please continue
It's a good concept, but there are a few errors. Watch for capitalizing things that shouldn't be (pronouns not at the beginning of a sentence, including the majestic plural, such as "we" or "our".)
Specific examples:
“For more who would want a Princess as a trophy.” Luna retorted with a slight coldness.
The word "princess" refers to any given princess, not a specific one. Only capitalize when referring to the individual:
"Now introducing Princess Luna, Lady of the Night." The titles (princess and lady) are capitalized be cause they specifically refer to Luna. "Night" is capitalized because it is part of the title "lady."
“Name Lulu, gender Female, race Unicorn.”
"Female" as an adjective not at the beginning of a sentence should not be capitalized. "Lulu" as a name, is capitalized.
“We do not wish to be seen as solely a Princess, but more as a Mare with a desire for company. A Mare who desires a mutual interest and joy in the company of each other. Is that Desire made clear?”
The words "princess" "mare" and "desire" should not be capitalized. Even though "princess" and "mare" refer to a royal body, they follow the same rules as above. "Desire" despite being a royal proclamation, is not capitalized either.
Hope this helps, I am interested in where this will go.
Wow, is Twilight going to be surprised at finally receiving a response to that forgotten, and probably embarrassingly impulsive, dating agency submission.
6054495
Ah with those I was thinking more along the lines of what words they would emphasise, usually I went with princess when not being spoken and Princess when spoken. I think Desire was very questionable on that though, as she may have emphasised it but I didn't know if that one would come off as well as when referring to other ponies or themselves so I will change that one since it stands out as much as it does. I had a similar thought when it came to reading the words on the form which were capitalised but I guess those wouldn't be spoken like they are written, also changed the Mare to mare in Luna's speech also since looking back she did use the word only just after the end of a sentence so it probably stood out a little in a bad way.
I guess it probably isn't an accurate thing to do but for some reason I tend to do it as a way to try and show a little of the emphasis especially if relating to calling each other by name or title or similar, like Cousin or Sister etc. But I suppose I may have gone overboard with it. Probably should have kept it just to those things like Princess, Cousin, Sister and the names etc. I did it with Our and We for the same idea however since that is referring to herself in that "royal voice" way I think it might follow the same suit, but obviously not capitalised if actually meaning other people and not herself.
Love the Doomguy with cup of drink btw.
6054766
Probably would be a mixture of happiness and mostly embarrassment.
Your Discord feels right. Interested to see where this goes.
6055302
Pleased he does, I've written a few Discord things which I never finished / uploaded and always loved doing it, he is such an interesting character to write since there is so much you can do with him.
6054890
I guess my point was that the story flows better without capitalization cropping up in odd locations. I know there are other ways to structure sentences to emphasize certain words, unfortunately I am not a skilled enough writer to give any help there. Your Discord is well characterized.
6055915
Will definitely try and cut down on the use of it then, I still like using it but will not over do it like I did here to make it stand out as much as it did to be commented on hehe, flowing is definitely for the best. Also thanks I really love writing Discord, I suppose it is quite hard to go wrong with Discord though as long as plenty of chaotic things get thrown around hehe.
King of Chaos dating services. There's no possible way this could ever go wrong.
im liking this and i hope it is more than a two chapter story now on to other matters................. BY THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DONT JUST WRITE THIS AND BUGGER OFF AND NEVER TOUCH IT AGAIN TOO MANY STORYS THAT ARE IN MY LIBRARY END LIKE THAT SO MUCH SO I HAVE A LIST LET ME SHOW YOU 8thcorner.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/kill_bill__vol_1__046.jpg
6056910
Nothing that would be unfun to him at least.
6058692
How long it will be I don't know, I originally had just the idea of it ending after the date but some more stuff keeps coming up due to Discord so it may end up being longer, though at this point I have no idea how long since it will only start to become clear as it writes itself.
As long as nothing bad happens to me again I'll keep writing this story. I did have a long break on Magician's Obsessions due to some issues but now that I'm back into writing I plan on continuing that older story and writing these newer ones.
is it sad that the best character here is discord?
6059429
He always steals the show.
6059473 indeed he does, get Celestia to distract him next chapter and he wont.
Yesssssssss... Yessssssssss... Needs more Discord.
Interested so far, but I may be biased for the subject matter and the cover picture.
6060676
Discord is always fun.
6064736
It is one of my preferred couples to do things with, and the picture was the most suitable I had for both looking nice and suiting the story.
The scene involving the assorted bachelors felt rushed, almost as if the author was just trying to get past it as quickly as possible. There's a difference between a character wanting to be done with something fast, and the actual text reading too quickly. There seemed to also be a lack of true scene transition. They'd be in one place, then another within a few short sentences that barely describe the scenes.
On that note, the dialogue between characters needs to be touched up a bit. There was very little flow between characters, just a game of pong from one to the other.
In a more positive light, your grammar and spelling were fantastic for the grand majority of the chapter.
If Luna has crying jags brought on by chronic low self-esteem, then what she needs is a psychiatrist. Getting a girlfriend instead is unfortunately likely to make the problem worse rather then better (even if they would be perfect for each other
). Still, I'm looking forward to see where you go with this.
6065660
The scene with Luna speaking to the gentry and then her in her room afterwards were the two parts I was least happy with. I was stuck between either playing Luna's character as more generally depressed and down rather than getting upset and crying, and ended up eventually picking the more upset version which I did feel may have come across badly since I was torn between them while writing those scenes. I went back and changed things on the bedroom scene especially countless times before finally deciding to just go with what I had as I knew something was going to stand out sadly. I think perhaps I should have just remained on the depressed side but then the story would have felt more depressing which I didn't want. Sadness is easier to solve with some laughter from Discord.
6065837
her crying is brought out more as a result of them attempting to solve the problem which made her feel that way. Otherwise she would just be continuing to stay alone permanently which they want to fix, but clearly don't really know how do to it since they brought in all the wrong kinds of ponies.