Part 10: The Crème De La Crème
Part 10
“Oh, aren’t they just the perfect couple.”
“Delightful.”
“I foresee a spring wedding.”
“Sister, what are you giggling about?” Luna said asking Celestia.
“Oh, nothing, dear Luna, nothing at all.”
Snails ½: The Creme De La Crème
“Now, you must remember everything I’ve taught you, darling.” Rarity reminded Escargot.
Swallowing nervously, only one thought echoed through Escargots mind: “HELP!!! I Don’t want to be here!!!”
“Now presenting, the Lady Rarity, and her ward, The Harvest Princess From Ponyville, Escargot.” Raven called out across the hall proud and true.
All eyes fell on Snails and Rarity.
“Oh my, so cultured! I did not believe anypony from that backwater village met the standards.”
“Aside from Diamond Tiara and Filthy Rich, of course.” A stallion nodded to Filthy Rich.
Diamond Tiara glared at Escargot maliciously, “Why can’t anypony else see it? That filly is a complete fraud! How else would a blank flank become Harvest Princess?”
As she approached the twin thrones, Escargot curtsied, just as Rarity had taught her. Graceful and regal, Escargot touched her horn to the ground. Curtsying once towards Celestia, then once more towards Luna, she kept her head bowed, waiting to be addressed.
“My, are we not the formal one. You have been well-taught, Princess.” Luna said.
“Welcome Princess Escargot, I hope you had a pleasant time on your tour.” Celestia added.
“Very pleasant, your highness.” Escargot tried hard not to move, or even look up.
“It is alright, you may stand.” Celestia said gently, and flashed Escargot a subtle wink as the filly rose.
Escargot looked around the room, searching for an avenue of escape.
“Go on, have fun, dance. I know there are many colts here interested in meeting you, several from my school for gifted unicorns. Celestia paused, “I am surprised that I still have not seen your application for my school. A unicorn of your special situation might find it interesting.” Celestia smiled.
A murmur rippled through the crowd at the speed of rumor: could this be another chosen of Celestia? Is this another princess to be? The chance to move up the social ladder was too sweet to pass up.
Diamond Tiara snorted in rage, “Oh, and now she becomes the Princess’s precious student?”
Another mare quickly approached Escargot with her colt, “This is Firecracker, he’s looking at starting a singing group. He calls them Firebombers.” His mare said proudly, “He’s also a student at Celestia’s School.”
Nosing her foal forwards firmly, she looked down at him.
Sighing resignedly, he deadpanned, “Would you like to dance?”
“Oh, of course she would.” Celestia said, smiling.
Luna glanced at her sister, then stood, surveying the ball nervously.
“Is something wrong sister?”
“I’ve seen that look before. Where is he, and what has he done?”
“Who?” Celestia looked to Luna, thoroughly confused.
“Discord, dear sister. The last time you smiled like that was when everyone realized you invited Discord to the Gala.”
“I did no such thing.”
“Chrysalis?” Luna said skeptically.
“No sister. Just relax, watch the party. Enjoy yourself.”
Luna returned to her throne, grumbling. Her sister was playing a joke, and not sharing.
Escargot, on the other hoof, was terrified. Did Celestia mean that? Did she expect Escargot to sign up for school? Oh, what if it was Snails she wanted? No, she said Escargot. How was he supposed to go to school as Escargot?
“Escargot?” Firecracker asked.
“What?” Jumping backwards, Escargot panted heavily, with wide, panicky eyes.
“We’re supposed to dance?”
“I...I…” Looking to Rarity for help, Rarity merely motioned towards the dance floor.
Sighing softly, Escargot began to dance, following Rarity’s instructions as closely as he could remember. This was so embarrassing, so silly so..
“Escargot?” Firecracker started.
“Yes?”
“Do you want to be the colt?” He asked tilting his head.
“All night actually…” Escargot almost said, then bit her tongue hard. What did she just say? What did he just ask? “Wait what do you mean?”
“We’re dancing: unless you want to be the colt, let me lead.” Firecracker said, shaking his head.
With a sigh, Escargot let him lead the dance. ‘Actually, that was quite rude.’ Escargot thought.
“Thank you. For a moment there, I thought you wanted me to be the filly, but that’s just stupid.” Firecracker said.
Diamond Tiara stormed up, “Are you planning on hogging all the spotlights?”
“I’m sorry, I’m just not very practiced at dancing. Though I might suggest you try with Diamond Tiara there.” Escargot said. It was a way out! Letting go, she curtsied once and let her deal with him.
“Oh, aren’t they just the perfect couple.” One mare said
“Delightful.” Another said.
“I foresee a spring wedding.”
Realizing what she just got herself into, she snarled at Escargot in a very un-lady like manner.
Finally free, Escargot ran to Rarity. He was safe. He was in the clear. He was away from Firecracker and Diamond Tiara. He slowed and looked around: he was surrounded by colts.
“Why me?” Escargot whimpered, drooping.
They tugged Escargot back out onto the floor for dance after dance after dance. Parents argued over whose colt was favored, who might win her status and beauty, trying to prove their son could be like Shining Armor and woo a princess herself.
“I hate my life.” Snails whimpered.
Finally, Celestia stood and sent the foals home. It was late, after all, and they had school tomorrow.
Smiling, she bowed cordially to Escargot, “It was a pleasure meeting you, Princess. I hope you enjoyed your time in the castle. Ask Twilight about an application for the school.”
Nodding, she turned and left with Rarity.
The express train was already waiting to take them back to Ponyville. For the first time since this day began, he had a chance to relax. In the car, he was able to get out of the gowns. With Rarity’s help, he folded everything up and put it in the suit case.
“Rarity?”
“Yes Escargot?”
“Thank you for everything.” Snails sighed.
“My pleasure, I always love a chance to mold a young filly into a proper mare.”
If there was anyone he might confide in. If there was anyone he could trust. Would it be Rarity? Maybe she’d be able to help him? Maybe if he asked her?
“So much more attentive than colts.”
Or not.
“Colts?”
“Yes, you seemed to have your fill of them tonight, I’d be happy if you didn’t see another colt for a week.”
“Tell me about it. I’ll just be glad to get to bed and sleep in.”
As the train pulled into the station, he bought one last large cup of tea. He was ready for home. Carefully giving one last hug to Rarity, he made his way home. Looking around to make sure it was all clear, he dumped the water on himself, finally back in his own body. It was over. It was done with.
Opening the door, he walked in, dead tired. Looking up he closed the door with his hind leg. “Hi mom. Hi dad.”
Both scowled at him. His mother takes a step forward. “Snails, you were grounded! How dare you leave the house!”
Oh yeah, grounded or Royal Guards, he forgot about that. “Sorry mom.” Lowering his head, he sighed.
“And what’s in the suitcase?” His father asked sternly.
Snails just collapsed on the floor. I’m so dead.
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Oh, Escargot got a true shipper spirit!
And Snails should stop stealing poor filly's clothing! What, she supposed to roam the streets naked now?
And thus does Snails bad lucky continue. I actually think he has two curses not just the one. the second curse is much more dangerous then the first one. The second curse is a curse called. "May you live in interesting times" It is a curse that causes its affected target to find themselves in many interesting and unexpected situations.
6130076 He's got invited to the most prestigious school in the country, assigned to the best personal teacher there is, owns probably more clothing than the rest of the town (minus Rarity), and about to be accused of breaking the grounding and mass thievery by his mom he fears more than wrath of the Sunbutt... where exactly is he poor?
6130197 It's the part of the same curse. He's lucky he hadn't been yet challenged to the competition in Martial Arts Celestial Mechanics or something.
6130229 True, very true.
Everyone hate or ignore you when you are a colt. They start to like you when you are a filly, only because you look good. Yep, your life is shit.
6130870 *sigh* well thats life for ya.... it sucks
still laughing !
6130229 Well, Ranma really had two curses. The second one was Jusenkyo. The first one (and in part the cause of the second) is named Genma. I think all the martial arts random chaos was more related to the curse of the idiot father than to the tragic tale of a poor Chinese girl.
6130870
If only it was that simple for Snails.
6132047
While Genma (being the model citizen he is) could be a curse, and a lot of Ranma's suffering is, indeed, his fault, there are plenty of occasions where Ranma made his life miserable all by himself. Take Shampoo, for example - it wasn't Genma who beat up poor violent maniac twice to get her attention.
6132047 Dont forget the curse of the insane mother who has 6 year old son sign suicide pledge, that said 6 year old at the time had no idea what the piece of paper ment.
6132770 The one that nearly clobbered the father with the fire extinguisher?
Well, that was 5 years old, and remember, that's Japan. She may be a bit too old-fashioned by their standards, but she still is the sane one in that household. After all, how would she know that her husband is crazy stupid enough to turn their son into a daughter?
Also, I think she just needed a good excuse to cut Genma's head off. Who wouldn't?
6132788 id rather Lock Genma's curse and Ki and put him to good use.....
In a Panda breeding program....
Did i mention altering Genma's curse so he's a FEMALE panda instead?
6132819 Pandas already have pitiful gene pool, and you want to <censored> it with Genma?
6132832 Why do you think I hired Washu Hakubi the greatest scientific genius in the universe to modify Genma's Gene's to strengthen the panda offspring
6132841 She have her limits, and that'll be pushing far beyond those.
6132842 I figured as the Goddess of Knowledge her modifying Genma's Gene's would be child's play
6132848 There is easy, there's hard, there's godlike, there's impossible, and there's fixing Genma Saotome.
6132858 That made me literally laugh out loud
6132864
6136198 Do both. It works, I do it all the time.
ok so how long before his parents start putting all the puzzle to gather??
I am betting Celestia is going to torcher Luna with this knowledge for a long time but then she is a bit of a troller.
Harts Fire
for gifted unicorns."(----
Celestia paused,
How long until King Sombra wakes up and decides that Escargot would be the perfect Queen for after he conquers Equestria? After all, isn't a standard trope/running gag that a foreign prince sees either Ranma and/or Akane and decides to marry her?
Also, a musical group called Firebombers?
What I have to say about this chapter:
Im sure diamond is gonna pop like a Sunny D.
That was also one of the times I smiled.
Wow, parents of Equestria are starved for arranged marriage.