• Published 30th Aug 2015
  • 998 Views, 46 Comments

The Unbearable Lightness of Bucking - Loganberry



An existentialist fruit story. Starring Applejack. Of course.

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Autumn is a Second Spring

Applejack grunted and tugged at the brim of her hat. She pulled it a little further over her face to keep the glare of the late afternoon sun out of her eyes and leant back against the tree’s solid, reassuring trunk. She chewed idly on the straw in her mouth as she returned her attention to her book: Leap to Faith.

“The faith that ponies have that our beloved Princess Celestia will raise the sun each morning may be classified as a true faith,” she read. “Indeed, it is perhaps the truest faith of them all – but it is not a belief, not in the same way that we believe an apple pie made by the finest of chefs from the finest of fruit to the finest of recipes must perforce taste delicious.”

Now that’s how you get a mare’s attention! Applejack thought, grinning. She continued to read.

“We can see and touch and smell and taste that pie. Although Celestia is a corporeal pony, she is something more as well, and it is that extra part of her that both causes and allows her to raise the sun to begin each day.

“But do we know that this will happen every day? We do not. We have faith that it will, but we cannot prove that it will. We cannot show that it will happen in the way we can show that a pie exists. There is – there must be – doubt in our minds. Without this doubt, faith itself could not be, for what we call ‘blind faith’ is, in truth, nothing more than credulity.”

“You sound just like Twilight,” Applejack muttered.

“Who sounds just like Twilight?”

Applejack looked up to see the alicorn in question standing before her. She spat the straw from her mouth and hauled herself up onto her haunches. “Oh, it’s nothin’ really,” she said. “I just saw this in the library earlier and thought I might as well give it a look. Got nothin’ much to keep me occupied in the orchard for a spell now the apple buckin’s done, and you know how antsy I get if’n I don’t have a thing to do.” She held out the book towards her friend, who took it and peered at the cover.

“Oh!” Twilight’s eyes went saucer-wide and she did a little jig of delight. “Murky Guard! One of the most exciting modern philosophers! I’ve been meaning to do more research into the Cloudsdale School. I’ve read a lot about ponies like De Whoavoir and Sartrot, but this stallion is really something. I’ve had this book on my to-read list for weeks now; I never imagined you’d get there before I did!”

“Now excuse me,” Applejack said, reddening slightly. “I may be a simple farm pony, but I can read a book just as well as anypony else.” She gave a nervous chuckle. “Well, okay. Present company excepted, I guess. But I would still appreciate it if you gave me a little credit here.”

Now it was Twilight’s turn to blush. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck. “I didn’t mean to sound insulting, but... oh, this is just so wonderful! Most of the others aren’t that interested in this sort of thing, so it’s not often I get to discuss it at all. I have a little chat with Celestia sometimes, but that’s about it. Luna still has a little trouble sometimes with straightforward notions of free will, quite frankly, let alone anything more novel. Um, so, how are you finding it?”

“Well, now, I reckon it’s pretty interestin’ stuff, even if I don’t quite get the point of it all. Still, I guess it was the bit about about the fruit that really grabbed my—“

“Ooh, I must see if I can find you some of the things Hay Digger has written!” Twilight interrupted. “I’m sure you’d love his books – there’s a whole shelf of them in the castle library, you know. I’ve read them all. Actually, I’ve been through his works four or five times now, and he’s just so fascinating. Especially Ruminations on Ontological Determination. That’s my favourite.”

“Ontolo-what now?” Applejack said, but Twilight’s stream of words had ground to a halt. The alicorn was looking at her with a frown, her forehead creased and her ears back in confusion.

“...Fruit?”

Applejack scratched her muzzle. “Yep. I ain’t much of a mare for the abstract stuff and whatnot, and I’ll be darned if there ain’t plenty of that in this here book – but I can tell you right now that there sure ain’t nopony in these parts knows more about apples than the Apple Family.”

“Well then,” Twilight said, “maybe you could explain it all to me. Oh, this is just too wonderful. The pursuit of knowledge is an amazing thing, isn’t it? Especially when you realise just how little you’ve actually discovered and how ignorant we all really are!”

Applejack gave her friend a sideways smile and said, “I hope you’ll excuse me if I don’t use all the fancy words here. I reckon I’ve almost got my head ‘round it, but it’d be mighty fine if you could let me know whether I’m buckin’ up the wrong tree with it all.

“From what I can gather, there was a stallion a little while back, name of Neightzsche – now don’t you get all excited every time I say a name you know, else we’ll never be done talkin’ – and this guy said that the world was like an apple harvest. Anythin’ we do in our lives, it’s all happened before, and it’ll all happen again, long after the both of us are gone to the Great Beyond.”

“Neightzsche!” Twilight was actually bouncing on her hooves now, her eyes shining with an almost otherworldly intensity. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Did you know that he wrote the classic work on modern zebrine thinking, Thus Spake Zecora?”

“You, uh, you don’t say.”

It’s a really, really brilliant book – ostensibly written as straightforward light verse, but actually a deeply philosophical volume examining every facet of the world that the zebras know today. And it’s filled with so many absolutely wonderful aphorisms!”

Applejack rolled her eyes and snorted. “I’ll take your word for that. Anyway, what the guy in this book—” she indicated it with a nod “—believes is that what Neightzsche says just ain’t so. He reckons life ain’t like an apple harvest at all, but more like a simple apple pie.”

“Oh! Like when you and Rarity were at the Sisterhoov—”

“Heh, not quite. This ain’t really about two ponies workin’ together.” Applejack smiled. “The author sure talks one hay of a lot about pies, though. Not real certain he’s right to recommend bakin’ plums along with peaches, but that’s another thing. Anyhow, he says that if you bake a pie but nopony eats it, well, that pie ain’t never gonna come ‘round again. You’ve lost it forever, ‘cept if’n you want to feed it to the pigs or somethin’ – so all that buckin’s been for nothin’ at all.”

She lapsed into silence and Twilight said hesitantly, “I think I see.”

“T’ain’t every day that happens, now, is it?” Applejack said, laughing. “Somepony gettin’ you to look all confused-like.”

“I am not confused! I’m just thinking, that’s all. Inwardly digesting. Cogitating.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow, still smirking a little. “Cogitatin’. If you say so, Twi.”

Twilight shot her friend a look but said, “I really do think I need to read the book for myself, though. I wonder if there’s another copy in the castle library somewhere?”

“You’re plenty welcome to look at this one. I guess it’s really your book in the first place.”

“Applejack!” Twilight sounded genuinely shocked. “This book is for the benefit of the Ponyville community as a whole. Just because it’s shelved in the castle doesn’t mean it’s mine. I’m just... holding it in trust. But, well, would you mind if I took a quick look at its first page, so I can note down the details I’ll need to search the library catalogue later on?”

“Why, sure. Knock yourself out,” Applejack said, shrugging as she passed Leap to Faith across to her friend.

Twilight took it with her magic and flipped back through the book to find the relevant section, then stopped abruptly. Her mouth formed a huge ‘O’ as she stared at the paper, blinking rapidly.

“Somethin’ wrong there, sugarcube?”

“Applejack,” Twilight said slowly, “does Rainbow Dash know about this book?”

Rainbow Dash? Gee, Twilight, you were a mite surprised that I was readin’ it. Why would Rainbow take an interest in somethin’ like this?”

“Because she’s met the author. So have I, actually. And you.” Twilight floated the book back to Applejack with a short passage magically highlighted. “Take a look here.”

Applejack read aloud. “About the Author. As a foal in Cloudsdale, Murky Guard spent hours each day gazin’ skyward, a bag of shiny red apples in his hoof, hopin’ for a glimpse of his great heroes: the Wonderbolts. Occasionally he did see them, but mostly the colt was left with with nothin’ to nourish him but those bright apples and his own bright thoughts. One day he would be a ‘Bolt himself, famed across Equestria as—”

Applejack broke off, her eyes flitting across the page. Now it was her turn to look astonished. “Guess the world really is absurd,” she said. “An’ I sure as hay feel pretty gosh-darn confused about it right now.”

Twilight nodded. “Yes. It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

“Sufferin’ snakebites, he sure kept that quiet! And even you didn’t know?”

Twilight shook her head. “All my own books call him Murky Guard, and so does all the literature I’ve studied about him. I’d always assumed that was his full name. I don’t know why he hid away like that; perhaps he worried that his friends might make fun of him. Still, it does explain why he takes so much interest in apple pies: it looks like he never did like the idea of facing the bleakness of existence with just a single apple to hoof.”

Applejack didn’t answer: she was still gazing at the book. Finally, she looked up at Twilight.

“Well I’ll be... Soarin.” She shook her head slowly. “Amazin’.” She scratched her forehead for a few moments, then shrugged. “Anyway, I was gonna ask: do you and Spike feel like comin’ ‘round for dinner at Sweet Apple Acres tonight? Won’t be nothin’ special, I’m afraid, but we’d be mighty happy to have y’all join us all the same.”

“That sounds great. What will you be serving up this evening?”

“I guess I could rustle up a few things. You got any special requests?”

“Well,” Twilight said, “Spike would love a few of those sapphires from the North Field pits, I’m sure, and as for me—” She looked at Applejack with wide and pleading eyes. “I don’t suppose I could hope for a really rich fleeting moment of existence? You bake those so well.”

Applejack cocked an eyebrow. “Uh...”

Twilight gave a crooked smile. “With cinnamon ice cream?”

Comments ( 46 )

:rainbowlaugh: Much more fun than that metaphysics course I took a bit ago. Plus, it makes use of one of my favorite bits of pun fodder. Most enjoyable. Thank you for it.

6375585 Glad you enjoyed it! :pinkiehappy: Which particular bit of pun fodder, out of interest?

6375602
Soarin's name. There's a lot of fun to be had there.

6375682 Aha! True enough. And now you're giving me more ideas...

I love it this makes me smile.

6377928 Thanks very much; I'm happy you liked it! And thank you for reading, too. :twilightsmile:

6378424 Thanks for giving it a read, and I'm glad it was to your taste. :twilightsmile:

I loved "Murky Guard" and "Hay Digger ", but Soarin was priceless. :rainbowlaugh:

6378664 It was actually realising that Kierkegaard's first name was Søren that provided the spark for this! :rainbowlaugh: Good to hear you enjoyed it.

6379066 I was actually annoyed with myself that I didn't see it coming. :facehoof:

6381035 Thanks very much! Any part(s) you particularly enjoyed?

6381425 I enjoyed how you wrote Applejack as rather intelligent and having some really interesting insights on the philosophy book, to where she and Twilight could toss around ideas and have a thought provoking discussion, since I've always seen her as being smarter than she lets on, plus in the comics she's been shown as having a keen business sense, and being an excellent strategist. In one comic, it was even suggested she might become mayor one day. It bugs me when people say that she's dumb or something.

6384837 Ah, thanks for the explanation. :) Yeah, that annoys me as well, just like when people write Pinkie as though her randomness was the only thing about her. Applejack has to be smart -- to have managed what she has, especially without her parents, can't have been easy. And yep, I read that comic; it was one of the better ones, I think.

I definitely enjoyed this story, and I thought that as always with your work, the characterisation seemed perfect. Especially as Applejack is, I'd imagine, not the easiest pony to write for. The only drawback for me is that I didn't really understand what the story was about, and I get the feeling that either a) I'm a bonehead or b) there is some kind of in-joke or somesuch that I've missed out on. It didn't alter the fact that I liked what I read, but I probably didn't get as much from it as I normally would for that reason. (Or more likely because of reason "A." :derpyderp1: )

6387960 Thanks; characterisation is something that's important to me, so I'm glad you felt that worked. :twilightsmile: To explain what the story's actually about, I'll need some heavy-duty spoiler markers, so bear with me here! The story is really an existentialist fruit story, as its short description says. All the names (Neightsche etc) are based on the names of real philosophers who are relevant to existentialist philosophy. That zebrine book is based on a real one, Thus Spake Zarathustra. The conflict between life being like an apple or being like an apple pie is a real philosophical argument (well, without the apples, but same basic idea). And so on and so forth. Given all that, I'm actually (pleasantly) surprised that it's had such a good reception! :ajbemused:

6388449 Ahhhh, well that would explain much of what I didn't understand. Thank you very much for that explanation! :pinkiehappy: I know pretty much nothing about philosophy or associated writers, so it would explain why the names didn't really trigger any recognition. But I'll keep those in mind and give it a reread. :twilightsmile:

i did a dramatic read of you fan fic

Haha, that was cool :pinkiehappy: Soarin writing philosophical books about apple pie, can't say I've seen a story that does that before! It was a good read, and I loved Twilight's line at the end :twilightsmile:

Nice one!

6590143 Thanks! I'm pleased you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile: I don't think I'd ever have even considered writing this if it hadn't been for JohnPerry's comment setting off my brain, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. I have been a little surprised that it's been received so positively, since it's not the most obvious of subjects, but I'm not complaining!

While I'm here: I now have a fic of yours in the Louder Yay review queue for a couple of weeks' time. I won't spoil the details, not even of which story it is, except to say that you don't have to worry about me hammering it! :rainbowwild:

6590884 Oh wow, awesome! I don't think anyone's done a review of one of my stories before :rainbowderp: At least not that they've told me about.

you don't have to worry about me hammering it!

In that case, I'll look forward to reading it! :pinkiehappy:

6592523 Actually, Present Perfect reviewed a story of yours (Resurgence) last year. I haven't read it, so I've avoided reading the actual meat of the review, but if you're interested, here it is.

6593677 So he did! Recommended for Luna fans - yup, I'll take it :scootangel: Thanks for the link!

Cool read. :twilightsmile: Have my thumbs up.

33rd like, HECK YEAH! 33 is my lucky number.

6709765 Oh no! Now I'll have to ban anyone else from liking it! :pinkiegasp:

6709952 :rainbowlaugh: I didn't think that was possible.

6709958 Oh, I can issue the ban. It's just that nobody takes any notice of me. :rainbowlaugh:

6710152 Oh, alright then :rainbowlaugh:

6710152 *duly flouts ban*

7325842 You're a horrible person, and you should feel terrible. I hope you realise this. :pinkiehappy:

7326774 I think that pretty much proves my point that nobody listens to a word I say. I can relax now. :twilightsheepish:

Beautifully done. An excellent way of making the confusion of philosophy just a bit more edible.

7349750 That'll be the cinnamon. And thanks very much! :twilightsmile:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I tell you, I wish you hadn't come right out and named him in the middle there. You can't have thought this would appeal to anyone who wouldn't get a more subtle version of that joke in the first place. <.<

7626507 I really don't think I thought about very much at all while writing this one! :rainbowwild: But I'm not sure I agree. I was confidently expecting at least a few downvotes from people who had no idea what I was playing at, and it hasn't happened. What can I say, I'm just not a very subtle person. :D

Edit: On reflection, I've made one small change -- the specific "Soarin'. Murky Guard" line has been dropped, as I think you have a point that it is a tad clunky. Everything else is staying the same.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

7627588
I made a good thing! :D

This was suprisingly light reading, given the subject. I don't even have cursory knowledge of Kierkegaard's work, so the apple pie analogy went completely over my head, but the rest of the allusions/puns were quite entertaining.

A nice vignette all in all. :twilightsmile:

7631676 Thank you; I'm glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile: To be honest, my knowledge of this stuff is distinctly unimpressive, too! It's just that the silly idea of "existentialist fruit story" refused to leave my head until I'd written it. The apple pie stuff is loosely based on real existentialist philosophy, though. I'm actually very surprised this fic has had such a good reception -- I was confidently expecting lots of people to dislike it because they didn't know what was going on!

6590884
Hi! I know I'm a tiny little bit extremely late but, do you by any chance know what has been of JohnPerry? I was searching a story of him and found that his FimFiction account has disappeared and now his work is only available in FimFetch😕.

11390617
I don't know, I'm afraid. I never knew JohnPerry personally, just as a name on Fimfiction. Sorry I can't be of more help!

11390688
No problem. Thank you for replying.

Just thought you might like to know, google's Bard AI just recommended this fic to me.

Screenshot

Looks like it did get the author's name wrong though.

11745803
An AI chatbot getting a fact wrong? Say it ain't so! :pinkiegasp: Though hey, maybe I'm really an alt of TheKMExperience and just don't know it. :pinkiehappy:

Also, I do apologise if you originally glanced at the title and thought my fic was called "The Unbearable Lightness of Bucket". :rainbowwild:

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