• Member Since 5th May, 2015
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

miss-cyan


A broke, anxious mess with a sweet tooth. Usually tired or hungry.

T

My name is Lottie.

When my Grandpa died, I never expected any more really drastic changes in my life. Maybe I would've been more prepared.

Clues and whispers aren't going to be enough on their own. Sometimes you just have to get your hands dirty, set things in motion yourself, no matter how weird they get.

And boy, do things get weird.

And on a completely unrelated note, word on the street in Ponyville is that there's something in the woods.

Takes place between seasons 3 and 4. I starting writing this a long time ago.

fanart by Apex-Jerico (spoilers for Ch. 3)

Featured: 01/01/19 (thanks)

Spoilers in the comments, you've been warned

Chapters (24)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 331 )

I don’t ever say shit like this lightly, but...

Damn, this is superb. Definitely keeping track of this.

Comment posted by miss-cyan deleted Jul 31st, 2018

9079397
comment very much appreciated c:
i'm glad you like it

Why don't you like the cover art? It looks fine to me.

9079459
it's fine, it's just a random image of trees, i draw art sometimes and kind of wanted to do something original but that would've delayed publishing it, no biggie

This story has a vibe to it that I can’t really explain. I love it.

9079584
thanks for the love, glad you like it so far

The hints are more than a little strong as to what the Grandpa’s connection to Equestria is, unless there’s some twist we can’t see coming. Aside from that, there’s little telling what’s going to happen next. Still loving this, and how fast the update came!

9081826
It's not that twist (or is it??), but I haven't revealed the details that'll give anything away yet. And there's two separate mysteries to solve too! they're not difficult mysteries, they just take time to come about in the story (not too much time)

“Oh sweetheart...I'm so…”

I'm guess at the moment I'm at the point again where I have barely enough patients to wait till they finally arrive in Equestria or hopefully only one human.

I admit I'm going a bit to quick trought the chapter, but I have to admit it gives of a quite nice feeling even if it is way to long for my taste.
However I get the feeling it is maybe paying off later.

For some reason I hope her grandfather wasn't a secret protector of the portal to Equestria and everyone knew him and because of that already heard about her. I just think it's safer to just get her there somehow since I know how awful that can turn out sometimes.

Okay if I got it right (because I got impatient again), she walked into the forest and somehow took a wrong turn and is in Equestria now?, I mean I could believe it but I need to know if that happened.

i'm not a terribly fast writer

That's probably not a problem, depending on how much I like the story, I maybe get impatient but at the moment I'm glad if I don't have to read 3 or 4 4.000 words long chapters per day.

i have big plans for this story, lots of characters to bring in, a mystery for Lottie to solve. what's up with her?

I guess that is alright as long as she has a unique group of friends and the chapters aren'T stuffed with 20 characters, you know all in one I mean.

Well...I...know she is probably getting the main six as a main group of friends, but if we can suggest some ponies please tell me, I would like some of the unusual or untypicall ponies to get some love/friendship too and a human (at least in most stories), can get along with them much better than a pony without wanting to change them (harmonize them).

The story is nice so far but I will read the next chapter later this day, like I said at the moment a chapter like this is a bit to much for me so that was the only problem, that and that I can hardly endure reading that much about the human world if I just want to see Equestria, but that's not really the problem this time.

9079605
In chase you are already reading my other comment, I think you did the scene with the family meeting because the grandfather died and the scene with her brother pretty well. I bet i would have liked it even more if I wasn't kind of quick reading, but even then I get most of it in my head and it was nice.

edit: I bet she will be a pretty likeable character for Pinkie, I just hope to see Pinkie being nervous to or so deep in love that she get's kind of Pinkie crazy while asking her friends for help to win Lottie over. It would probably also be nice to see Lotti get crazy because not really understanding Pinkies antics while she actually tries to get closer to her till it finally dawns on her that Pinkie likes her that much.

Ten little horses in two rows. Smiling at the camera in front of a schoolhouse.

“Well…” I whimpered, my voice trembling. “…at least I’m not nuts…”

Okay I actually hoped her grandfather wasn't known in happy harmony world.

It would at least take part of the fun out of me if she would be reconized by Celestia for something her grandfather told her.

edit: That is maybe not my main reason, but I don't need Celestia to always know about everything crossover worlds included.

I somehow just can't image that turning out to good or exciting.

I read the Pinkie part later.

edit: I have read it anyway and well that part was alright, but since it was not the biggest part not that special either.

9082445

Considering the age differences between grandpa and granddaughter, the only ones who might know of this gangly hornless minotaur would be grown adults who may or may not have moved out of Ponyville. This is also assuming that Grandpa didn't just "collect" things dropped by frightened ponies in their rush to flee from said not-a-minotaur. The items could have come from the former school teacher before Cheerilee?

I'm wondering about details however. The bits with no official imprinting to say, yes, this is an Equestria Bit and not a random disc of goldish metal. The partial language barrier allowing speech but not written words. And the weakness in the viel, or what have you to explain two worlds merged at a small point, not experiencing other curious or lost souls visiting in the past. Mmm, then again, it could have. For all we know, it was a pony (whom all that loot belonged to) that visited Grandpa first and became friends, the two electing to keep their meeting secret for fears of greater powers getting onvolved. And depending on the age/location of this crossover zone, might explain other mythical creatures from history-- it would be short sighted to assume this is the only place such an event has occurred.

This crossover throughout history has been used before; other fics would have the Princesses admit to repelling warlike Romans, Huns, or Vikings in the far distant past. Apparently peaceful encounters were never mentioned or recorded but it's safe to assume they also happened. Taking it further, you could theorize that refugees may have escaped some disaster (Atlantis anyone?) and set up in a quiet, isolated part of the larger Equestrian world, slowly forgotten as hearsay and rumors turns to myths and legends that even Princesses would have trouble remembering in their own Pre-Unification history.

Back to our modern predicament, once she's over this reality-shaking discovery of another world next door, she might want to take a picture to prove to herself at least that she's not hallucinating it (assuming cell phones and other tech work "well enough" over there). Also, it would surprise me if her nervous hands didn't start crafting a plush Roseluck if only to exercise the rampant thoughts bouncing around in her mind. This art would also go a long way to giving her a safe outlet rather than a more destructive one such as smoking or drinking.

9082759
I admit I'm not sure if I understood your whole comment. I'm not honestly sure what that had to do with my comment, but maybe you just wanted to explain your thoughts on the situation.

I just don't exactly like the idea of Celestia knowing about her grandfather and stuff like that I think if grown ups know him then maybe even the princess, at least if he counted as something rare back then I suppose. I can't completely explain why, but I have something like a faint memory of a similar situation in which I disliked a story. It is a bad example, but if we take the crossovers with different animes then Celestia knows about pirates (one piece) and is one of the samurais herself, she knows about this or that universe and rarely a story makes her being suprised at something.

I can't exactly tell you what is my biggest fear with that, but I could image this to turn out a bit bad or just less interessting as if she would be if she was new to at least the important characters in this story. (Tell me if I messed that sentence up, I had to make a correction).

For all we know, it was a pony (whom all that loot belonged to) that visited Grandpa first and became friends, the two electing to keep their meeting secret for fears of greater powers getting onvolved.

After reading it a second time, this was actually an interessting option and I think I could actually like that.

9083057

Eh, I tend to ramble the more time I have to write a response.

But I was mostly trying to work out that just having that box of stuff did not mean Grandpa, and humans, were known to ponies. The part about crossovers wasn't fictional worlds (anime) but physical places on Earth (the forest behind the house) with Equis. Equestria is a big place (with every movie, it gets bigger) so it's entirely plausible that the Princesses would not know of every strange thing to happen. With the lack of a national news agency or even a decent method of reliable news getting from one side of the world to the other, it's amazing ponies can keep tabs on most of their own country (dragon mail or other point-to-point spells would help but it's a limited replacement for radio and other modern conveniences we have that shrinks the world).

Whoops, rambling again.

I'd also like it if greater powers stayed out of this first, er, second? contact. Of course, with it happening in Ponyville and a certain purple pony having the ear of the Princess... so, yeah. At least we won't have to worry about MIB, FBI, or the other alphabet soup black-box agencies getting involved. (Or have they?) :trixieshiftright:

9083401
Oh I would like to believe that and do it right now, I just also know there are several stories and people who make their Celestia know about everything and only the right things.

I'd also like it if greater powers stayed out of this first, er, second? contact. Of course, with it happening in Ponyville and a certain purple pony having the ear of the Princess... so, yeah. At least we won't have to worry about MIB, FBI, or the other alphabet soup black-box agencies getting involved. (Or have they?) :trixieshiftright:

I think I can agree with that part.

Most ideas aren't exactly bad in my opinion, but I also start hating them if I read if for the fourtiest time.

Now I hope this isn't with her being in the human world till the end of the story, or at least this to be free from to many family scenes before it get's interessting and no human army trying to tear her hous apart to find the pony world.

Has she dreamed the part with the vines? I always get the big parts, but I guess with my way of reading right now, I didn't noticed she went anywhere.

Uhhhhh she is a pony now? I mean I like it, but it is slightly strange when she was a human before, not sure how this will work out in the end. I see what is going to happen, so far I can only say this is strange at the moment or whatever because I don't know what to think.

My only honest opinion is that I want more of Equestria right now, however if this is going to be a longer story and this part is needed then I will wait.

Can you maybe put all the character descriptions in an extra chapter?, With how many stories I read I can hardly remember them if nothing big makes me remember it and it will be annoying to search them in every chapter after a while.

For no big reason if her familly get's to see it I hope she is the only one being able to transform as if her grandfather passed her something special, a weird legacy or something. I'm really not sure if that makes as much sense in english as it is saying what I believe it does in my head.

“Curse you, meat-lovers pizza. This is one of the very specific scenarios in which I cannot eat you. Sudden involuntary herbivorous-ness.”

Has she even tried it? For what I know it "could" happen that in this version she suddenly likes meat in her pony body, just because she is used to it.

If the main six suddenly got to the human world, then again I hope some sort of human army stays away, that is if they are unbelieveable agressive and stupid again.

Since you talked about Twilight being a princess, not sure how you will unclude it here if it happens at all, but please let it be Twilights decision and that maybe even Celestia ask her for her opinion on being secretely turned into a princess and practically getting a job as one of her secretaries.

This chapter was a bit more interessting for me. I don't entirely hate the human world moments because you write some of it pretty nice and interessting, but I aren't that patient at the moment I guess and sometimes I just hate the wait when it looks like the human world is maybe not that important.

Is she just stressed out really much or why is she crying so fast? Well I kind of like it but I couldn't help but find it strange at the same time.

all this getting Lottie to Ponyville isn't great story flow, but the plot must go on. soon we'll be back into the mysteries and character development, and hopefully you all enjoy it

I know what I said but please don't let me be the reason why you maybe hurry up with the story flow, but I liked it.

9092325
She got covered in cake batter and a bunch of strangers are laughing at her. Believe it or not but some people don't react well to that kind of thing.

9093295
Okay not sure if I noticed the laughing part, at least the way you describe it to me. Well while I would personally believe it more if she had a very emotional time which would support such a reaction, I don't mind it that much.
If I'm honest the death of her uncle, her own worries and the thing with turning into a pony or being dragged away by some wood plant, are maybe already enough reasons to react that way.

9093306

“Hee hee! Oh wow, I got you back good, Noteworthy!” a high-pitched voice cheered, and a bright pink terror floated down from the sky, balloons tied to her middle and an empty bucket in her front hooves. The ponies around us started to laugh.

These colorful jerks just couldn’t get enough, and I tried to stand up and tell them off. The batter had other plans and I slipped, falling on face, my butt in the air. They just started howling, and I snorted, whipping my head a little to get some of the stuff off my face.

As for the crying:

“You…You…” I could feel my eyes getting wet. I was an angry crier, sad but true. I scraped my hooves in the dirt and got solid footing, standing up to my full, tiny horse height.

Some people do cry when they get angry.

9093310
I have read the chapter, I think I understand what your trying to do but the text parts aren't really helping. I don't think I know people who are like that myself, but I also think I didn't denied the possibility-

“I’m just....” I mulled it over for a second. "Trying to get in contact with them. I've never met them personally, but...they're friends of the family." Hopefully not technically a lie.

I'm still curious if I'M going to like that, but I like the Pinkie Pie parts so far and if what Pinkie said is true then like I imaged she had more reasons for her crying.

“Well, you convinced me Pinkie. I’ll go to a party of yours, but only once I’ve got my thing done, no sooner.”

I like it that they at least try not to go to the party but instead of "no, no, yes", I still want them to say " no, no, NO!!!!", no matter what Pinkie tries.
I want those char to get trough with it for once.

Even if it feels like I either still need to warm up to the story fully, or just need to be sure that my uhhmmm danger zones the story still need to be cleared out (the big reveal I'm still waiting for), I think it will look even better if Pinkie should show romantic interesst in her. I really don't think and hope that our main char (forgot her name), isn't suddenly developing feeling right before the moment Pinkie is going to ask her, I want to see it as if that idea crossed her mind for the first time.

I think I wanted to say something along the lines of at least at the moment she doesn'T seems that fond of Pinkie anyway. Not sure if her friends would be so shocked if she suddenly got a lover, but I hope for stronger reactions from at least half of her friends than those I got in a different story.

I always imaged it would be a bit of a shock for Twilight and the others if they suddenly found out Discord got a date and stuff like that, but in that story it was more like "hey cool I'm happy for you, do you want some tea?"
It was a bit anticlimatic you could say.

She needs a fun day. Pinkie thought, her ears drooping. I’ve never seen a pony fake so many smiles in so little time. And even when she smiled for real just now, it was a little…off. Like she was out of practice.

I know about the show, but since I'm not a fand of lie detector applejack, I think I'm also not a fan of a Pinkie Pie who is always right about telling if a smile is real right away.


However I like Pinkies intentions and Cornflowers name is strangely nice too.

An interesting start here, decently long and nicely fleshed out characters. And a female lead for once! After so many random 20-something dudes wandering the multiverse, It's nice to see a bit of variety. I think I'm going to enjoy this one.

And thank you for writing properly long chapters, I read a 1K chapter in what feels like 3 minutes, so something long enough to get my immersion going is a nice treat.

9107711
i know, there's a surprising lack of ladies in these sorts of stories. i hope you like the story as it comes out c:

i always try to aim for roughly 5,000 words a chapter, but it almost always goes longer.

And then Narrative Causality swung for the rafters with the DM's +5 Bat of Railroading!

*rolls dice*
.
.
.
Natural twenty!

It can be so difficult to write a character that actually wants to make a sensible decision, yes? Many adventures would be finished in the first chapter with a bit of applied logic, but where's the fun in that? So like it or not, this party shall carry on.

9107732
Longer is good, you'll get no complaints from me on that score. Caught up now and I enjoyed every moment of it. Pinkie's going to have a hard time with this one, but I think they'll both find it worth their while in the end. Now if only Twilight can avoid going berserk on the exotic alien...

Huh, intriguing. The tropes are a bit strong, dead grandfather with a soft spot for his granddaughter when the rest of the world rejected her because they didn't understand, and all. Sort of "Stardew Valley"ish. But... then again Stardew Valley's a absolutely terrible addictive life consuming really popular game with an adorable story, so I can't complain. "Magic skips a generation" is common because it works, making it possible for your character to be alienated from their parents, while still having some sort of hereditary specialness. This character is sure are more interesting than "I don't have any personal problems or interests or anything dramatic about me at all."

You totally had me at that fakeout. ♥ Humans never get out of Equestria! The portal's always vanished or the way back to their house is gone, or something. :rainbowlaugh: But nope, there's that familiar tree right there! Time to head back to humanland!

I was afraid to stay there because I was scared of a horse.

What are you talking about? There's nothing scary about—

derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/6/17/918841__safe_artist-colon-toucanldm_edit_edited+screencap_screencap_bon+bon_lyra+heartstrings_sweetie+drops_faic_flehmen+response_hoers_horses+doing+ho.png

:rainbowderp:

And some…pegasuses?”

Pegasoionaianano

why question the implications of going to another world when "oh cool, I get to hang out with Rainbow Dash" and the fact that they're fictional never even comes into play.

Well uh, not to toot my own horn, but I... sorta wrote a story about exactly that if you like crazy psychological thrillers in happy candy pony land. Don't worry about it if you're not looking for that sort of thing. Just thought I'd mention. I sure oughta go write more of the requel to it rather than leaving random solicitations on someone else's story here.

What? No! She was supposed to get grabbed and dragged into the woods by the Elements of Harmony, determined to subdue the savage beast! :rainbowlaugh:

i think Roseluck might've let fear color her recollection.

You think??? :rainbowhuh:

Twilight & co are behaving very sensibly. I hadn't even thought of the footprint she left being found as evidence.

And the main character's behaving very uh... sensibly as possible given the circumstances. Maybe a little bit too sensibly. Is she gonna at least go back to dig up the box again, and crack open the diary with the tools she can't use because she doesn't have... fingers, never mind.

I wasn't going to pit in my pajamas so it was a bit off.
Do you know the closet town from this road?”

:unsuresweetie:

Story flow seems fine to me, so far. Makes sense she could catch a ride. The coat was a little oddly lucky for her to think of, but it could easily happen.

Comment posted by ferret deleted Aug 14th, 2018

Who’s she callin’ her buddy…I grumped on the inside.

He's not your buddy, friend!

This pony I nuts.

Story seems good so far. Might want to add something about Twilight finding a new set of pony tracks leading away from the anomaly. Maybe a little more focus on other ponies besides Pinkie Pie.

I’ve never seen a pony fake so many smiles in so little time.

Pinkie Pie knows her smiles.

Comment posted by ferret deleted Aug 14th, 2018

9109299
i went in and fixed all the spelling errors, i really appreciate it. i re-check these things so much for general editing, the obvious stuff kinda flies over my head.

if you'll go back, you'll notice that Lottie gets very specific in her color descriptions, when you do artsy stuff like her you tend to remember different shades of colors. i do the same when i write a scene with Rarity later. i thought it would be a neat touch to explain why she'd recognize that shade of blue.

oh...when you said coat you meant her jacket, i thought you were talking about her coat color, my mistake. Yeah the coat was a lucky break

Well it's been a while sense I have seen a more complex HiE story, and it's shaping out well with an interesting mystery related to the protagonist. I like the idea the there might be some Equestrian blood running through her blood from an ancestor, probably her grandfather as I get it and I wonder if there was more to it the he got stranded in the human world or or chose to stay there. I like that the answer isn't straightforward and that there is a air of mystery to all of this, which is what I especially like from my favored HiE stories.

For the protagonist, for a long while I wasn't sure if 'she', as my understanding goes is a female as it wasn't made that often clear in the story.
I also take it that EqG never happened either in this case.

Looking forward to see more of this story and if you are interested I regularly do commissions cover art on FIM if you are ever interested. Here is my DA gallery in the link bellow and PM is you are ever interested in discussing thing further, hope to rear from you soon.

https://www.deviantart.com/amalgamzaku

Pinkie Pie used friendship... it didn't work very well.

My head canon is Luna drinks her coffee as black as the night. Also coffee is never, under any circumstances, to be given to Pinkie Pie.

Cadance is just done with that child.

Hey I love that movie!

Too bad they bombed the advertising eh?

You only need to ask~!

For some reason I thought Blue just closed the door there.

“I’m sure I’m getting ahead of myself. If something like that were going on Pinkie Pie might’ve mentioned it before now and-”

It still felt okay, but nearly a bit to fast for her to think of a romance there.

I know what I said, but after Rarity's little dance the chapter only felt better and better.

There was a bright glow of light, and a flash on her backside and-

wait, when I was suddenly reading Filly and was reading a but further to the cutie mark, I got the idea that you have a small pony filly mother sitting there.

Her mom, I assumed, came back and they were hugging. Pinkie bounced around smiling before flying back to our table and launching into a story.

i thought the mother came back already.

I’m so fucked.

Just tell them it's because you never learned to read and hadn't acces to some possibilities that way or stuff like that.

I really like it. While I wanted Pinkie to get nervous/have the romantic feelings first and act on them, I now started to image how it would be if Rarity is the cause for Pinkie developing those feelings or panicking because Rarity is telling her what she thinks that she saw.

edit: because of another comment that I could read because I'm always writing while reading the story, I nearly thought and feared Cadance would do something in their relationship. I don't might if Cadance appeast afterwards, but if you do please mostly keep her away from them or limit it to some advice (no manipulation), that Cadance can give her without knowing to much about Blue.

9121140
WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF THIS MOVIE BEFORE! IT’S A TRAVESTIY! I must watch it.

9121602
Like I said, they spent maybe 50 bucks on theater signage and called it "good enuff". Truly, one of the best movies that no one's ever heard of.

Interesting it seems that the strangeness was enough for her not to into her usual trapping of her usual habits and has to adventively be more aware of this very unfamiliar environment and adapt to her new situation with nothing to fall back on, not be able to find any familiar refuges where she usually isolate herself. This reminds me a lot of my own experiences in Belgium while I was studying there.

9120982
Lottie? i feel like that's the obvious answer, but i'd like to hear what you mean

9121602
my mission is complete. i have spread the word (seriously tho its one of my fav movies)

Quick, start stitching plushies for all you're worth! :twilightoops: They must never know you were a blank flank!

I really liked this chapter, felt like I was getting in with a nice, calm, surprisingly sensible Ponyville, where magical things were normal, but still special and appreciated. And Bluey's sort of low key simmering on the level of "freak out" added to that. The whole scene had a sort of "Stranger Things" vibe to it.

Bluey was smad

Oh no, not smad! That's sworse than mad! :pinkiegasp:

Lottie and Twilight would make a great couple. There haven't been many Twilight x female OC stories that I've seen.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!