• Published 27th Jun 2015
  • 624 Views, 15 Comments

I won't run anymore... - MidnightFMare



Running, it's all he's ever done. Running from his problems, enemies, memories... this is where The Doctor makes his final stand... oddly enough, it isn't the fields of Trenzalor.

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The Pears of Nerim

Last time, on Doctor Whooves: I won't run any more...

Have fun, for it is not yet the time. You will know when it is. Enjoy your new life my little space man.

The doors close, switches flip, levers move, and thingamajigs jiggle, the familiar whooshing of travel filling my stunned silence "Did... did you hear that too?"

Ditzy blinks "The whooshing or the voice?"

I rub my head "I don't think this universe is good for my health..."

The TARDIS lands, Ditzy's eyes glittering as she shakes me "This is awesome! Where are we? Where are we?! WHERE ARE WE?!"

I push her hooves off me and shake away the vertigo "I'm not sure..." I turn to the readout machine "Nerim, a planet populated entirely by stone creatures. Well, radiologically animated chunks of carbon and zircon, but... semantics."

She squeals and shoots out the doors and I grab the saddlebags she gave me and put my sonic in one of the pockets. "Wait for me!"

I chase after her and notice she's sitting in front of a wooden fence "Don't run off! Oh who am I kidding, they always run off. Never stay put. Anyways, what is so interesting about this fence?"

"They have wood... photosynthetic beings can thrive on a world where the solid nutrients and building blocks are animated... I need a journal..." she says in awe and I can't help but laugh "Ditzy, you're stunned by the fact that they have wood?"

She turns to me "Well duh! I always theorized that carbon based life would be available on other planets but the fact that they utilize it in a similar fashion like they do in Equestria is... it proves that some concepts and environmental pressures are universal! It's astounding!"

I stop and stare at her "... Okay, I forgot how it feels to have an intelligent companion. Okay, moving on from the... wooden fence... how about we go explore?"

She grins and reaches into my bag "Hey! You haven't eaten any of the muffins!"

I shrug "I had one, I just wasn't all that hungry-" my stomach groans and I blush beside myself "Erm... okay, entirely new physiology must have shocked my system... look! A fair!"

Right next to us is the entrance of a fair, several different species of aliens speaking, bargaining, and eating "Amazing! Commerce is present too! You'd think that living stones would have a nomadic/ bartering system instead of capitalism... what's the currency?"

I give her a flat look "You ask a lot of questions."

She smiles weakly "Sorry."

"No, I never said not to ask questions. Asking questions is good. Except when it leads to having to run away from the answer..." I shiver "Come on, let's find out."


Ditzy stares at an alien, obviously disturbing him "Ditzy!" I whisper "Stop staring! It's rude!"

She blinks and waves and points to a stall displaying... oh dear... "Look! Pears!"

I shudder "Ugh.,. why?"

"Doctor, why are you looking sick?"

"Pears my dear Ditzy, pears... disgusting fruit..."

The Nerimian behind the counter shrugs "'Ey, nobody said you had to buy any."

Ditzy smiles, a slight pink shift in the stone alien's head "I'm sorry, but I'm not familiar with the currency here..."

"Credits. Inter-space credits." it replies simply.

Ditzy turns "Can I borrow some credits?"

I sigh and pull out a silver credit cube "Here, I don't tend to buy things..."

She squeals and kisses my cheek before taking the cube "Does this work?"

The Nerimian pulls out a scanner cube and runs it through "Yeh, how many do you want?"

"Uhm... two!"

He nods and hands two of the horrendous fruits to her along with the credit cube.

She grins and puts them in her own saddlebags "Thanks!"

We walk down the fair's path and Ditzy stops at each one, marveling at the wares like a child.

Heh, this is nice... not running, investigating, just going to an alien fair with a cute companion- wait, "Cute"? I rub my forhead "Must be something still fixing itself..."

Ditzy walks over with a stun pistol and bandolier "I got a gun!"

I shiver "Ugh, the one thing I hate more than pears. Guns, have you ever noticed how the scientific curiosity falls in people holding guns?"

Ditzy nods "Yeah, but it's a stun gun in case we need to thwart an invasion of living machines or jelly monsters."

I stare at her "... Are you expecting those things to happen?"

"I sure hope not! But like great granny Fizzy said 'It helps to be prepared and quit licking the bowl your sundae came in, you'll get your head stuck in there! I should know, did it enough times myself.' She's wise."

"Uhh... okay then. Just don't point it at me..."

"You mean like this?" she asks, pointing it at my head.

"YES! Just like that!"


We sit on a bench in the middle of the fair, I sigh and Ditzy looks up from her comic book "What's the matter Doctor?"

I smile at her "Oh Ditzy, this is the most peace I've felt since... since I was a child..."

She cocks her head "Why?"

"I'd... rather not talk about it..." I sigh.

She nods in understanding, patting my shoulder "I won't push... hey, how can I read this? It looks like perfect Equish to me."

"Ah, the TARDIS has a translation function, so long as it's not older than time itself, it translates it instantly. It's quite useful."

She shrugs "Kind of takes the fun out of learning new languages. Anyways, sure you don't want a pear?"

I shudder "I'm quite sure. I'm just going to enjoy the peace and quiet."

She shrugs and pulls out a pear "Okay! Snack ti-"

A high pitched whine splits the air, several of the passing aliens clutching their heads before falling unconscious.

I jerk up and turn to Ditzy who rubs her ears "What's that noise?!"

"I don't know! It's knocking out everyone else! Why are we immune?!"

She stares at the pear in her hoof and it glows blue before splitting open to reveal sharp teeth and beady red eyes, little legs sprouting from it. "EEK!!" Ditzy squeaks, throwing it away. I grab the other and toss it as well "Okay! This is weird, even by my standards!"

Ditzy grabs me and we run back to the TARDIS when a whole swarm of the pears fall from the sky, several looming pods touching down "INVASION!!"

Ditzy gasps and squeals "An invasion! This is so awesome!"

I roll my eyes "Trust me, they rarely are. Now come on! We need to get out of here!!"

She stops and looks at all of the prone aliens "But... aren't we going to help?"

I turn "Help?"

She nods "You're The Doctor right? A doctor heals the sick, combats problems, and teaches others how to fight their problems. Come on Doctor, we have a responsibility."

I rub my head "Why must I be such a bloody sap? Fine! Capture one of the pears so that we can find out where it came from."

She salutes and swoops in on one, holding its mouth closed tightly "Got it!"

I catch myself grinning and gallop towards the TARDIS Am... am I enjoying this?

We charge through the doors, and I grab a giant clear beaker "Put it in here!!"

She nods and throws it into the beaker which I slam down on a genome reader "Okay! Let's see what kind of blight you are..."

It bangs against the glass with hisses and snarls, teeth trying to pierce its prison.

The scanner beeps and a readout issues from the console which Ditzy grabs "'Rexico...rexicorip... uhh...'"

"Raxacoricofallapatorius?" I ask, fastening the jug with a cable.

"Yeah... have you been there?"

"No, I've met a family from there, terrible people those Slitheens. infiltrate a world's parliament, start a nuclear war and then sell the irradiated pieces of that planet as fuel. Criminals by all accounts. they have one big weakness though, they're usually compressed and thus their gaseous calcium based physiology leaves them susceptible to acids and bases, most commonly vinegar." I explain, turning on a miniature hologram of one.

Ditzy furrows her brow "Ew... it looks like ET with a baby head."

I stare at her and nod "An... oddly specific description, but astute. so I suggest we use this weakness against them."

Ditzy cocks her head "So... we fly over them in the TARDIS and dump vinegar on them?"

I shake my head "No, that's just silly. We use squirt guns."

"Okay! You're The Doctor, but what if it doesn't work?"

"Then we try diplomacy." I say, walking towards the armoury.

"And if that doesn't work?" she asks, following.

"Then I'll do something brilliant. I'll do a thing of sorts. a brilliant sort of thing. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I know what it might be."

She walks up next to me "Can I do the brilliant thing?"

I suck my teeth "I'm... I'm usually the one who does brilliant things. Brilliant things are my thing..."

She whimpers and pouts her lip out "Really? I can't do the brilliant thing?"

I clutch my hearts "Fine... you can do the brilliant thing. This time."

She squeals and starts skipping next to me "Gonna do a brilliant thing~ Gonna do a brilliant thing~ Gonna be Brill-I-ant!"

I need to become immune to her charms- wait, "Charms"? I don't get charmed! I'm The Doctor! And yet... I shake my head free of those thoughts, and open the armoury "This, my dear Ditzy, is the squirt gun armoury."

She stares up in awe, her eyes widening "Whoa..."

I grin wider "'Whoa' indeed. Now armor up! We have pears to pickle!!"

She grins and grabs one and then looks down at her stun gun bandolier "Hmm... "

I roll my eyes and grab my favorite "The compact torrent deluge pistol Mk. V, the most powerful water pistol in the universe, capable of eroding a stone wall in a matter of minutes at maximum, scrubbing away the rust on any machinery in seconds at minimum. External fluid containers that hold several gallons."

Ditzy flies down, two held in her wings and one in her hooves "I'm ready... to kick some alien pear booty!"

I catch myself grinning again, and nod, galloping towards the exit. This is... actually fun...


We burst out of the TARDIS doors, squirt guns unleashing deadly vinegar payload.

The pears screech before exploding into a puddle of goop.

Ditzy laughs "It's like an arcade game! Look! Triple score!" she blasts three without missing, the targets exploding with a spray.

I laugh "Oh? Quintuple score!" I follow it up with a burst of continuous fire, leaving goo in my wake.

She blows a raspberry which I start to return but I slip on a puddle of goo and it splashes all over me "Eeeuugghh!!"

She giggles but lands in another puddle, the goo and entrails sticking to her coat.

A new wave of pears come at us from the ship but we blast them away, charging towards the looming ship.

"Halt!" The garbled voice of a Raxacoricofallapatorian commands from within the ship a gangly green claw swiping at us. Before I can react Ditzy fires over my head, melting the alien's arm and it howls in pain, falling to its knees.

I nod to Ditzy and we charge past it, and through the ship, soaking any that we came upon.

I sonic the last door and sitting on a throne of wires and machines is a single Raxacoricofallapatorian "Who the grok do you think you are?!" the alien's voice box rattles out, static distorting it with high and low sounds.

Ditzy steps forward "I'm The... Mailmare! And this is my assistant, Time Turner!"

It glares at Ditzy while I stand stunned "Ditzy! What are you doing?!"

She smiles "I'm helping! And being brilliant!"

"Well Mailmare... I will see to it that you are killed slowly... and don't think about trying your pathetic weapons, I'm surrounded by an impenetrable that no matter can pass through, you've lost Mailmare."

Ditzy rolls her eyes "Prove it!"

I groan "It isn't that stupid..."

It nods and motions for a number of underlings to grab them when Ditzy kicks her gun to me, something floating in the vinegar "Doctor, kick this at the leader..."" she whispers and I recognize what was inside of it.

A cracked stun gun charge suspended in a tank of vinegar. The contents start sparking and I toss it towards the leader, the whole tank cracking slightly on impact before erupting in an inferno of light and a hiss of pain.

Ditzy bucks one of the Raxacoricofallapatorian's legs and I punch the other's, buckling them to the floor. Ditzy tosses a small gun to me and I hold it point-blank at their heads and Ditzy gallops towards the stuned and hissing leader and holds her own gun to it's head "Actually, I'm pretty sure I just won."

It tries to swipe at her but jerks it's hand back, claws hissing "Graaagh!! How dare you!?"

Ditzy grins "You see, you may have a good shield, but no matte can pass through it, meaning that you have to dispel it in order to move, otherwise it'll eat away at you. Of course, the moment you drop it, I'll have a direct shot at your head. I've got you in checkmate. Surrender and you can go back to your planet, and never return to invade anywhere ever again. I'll know, I'm the mailmare, and I know where you live."

It starts snarling and hissing at her but otherwise stays still, paralyzed by it's own defense.

She looks over her shoulder at me "I don't think that means that we've come to an agreement. What about you Time Turner?"

I grin and shake my head "No, it doesn't sound at all like an agreement to me. I suppose we'll have to-"

"FINE! Agreed! Agreed! We'll leave!"

Ditzy narrows her eyes "And never come back? Never invade a populated planet again?"

It nods weakly "Yes! Please! Just let us go!"

Ditzy nods and lowers her gun "Good, I'd like to shake on it but your shield would destroy my hoof."


The ship takes off, leaving goo and bits of their pear-monsters rotting in the planet's sun.

I turn to Ditzy, who is shaking an alien's shoulder "Ditzy Doo... that was absolutely BRILLIANT!!"

She looks up and smiles meekly "Aw stop it Doctor... I wasn't even sure it would work..."

I shake my head "Pure genius! How did you know that the battery would react to the vinegar?"

She blushes, tracing a circle in front of her "I looked at the batteries I bought and saw that the charge was chemical based so I... I thought that the acid inside would react to the basic properties of the vinegar... it's simple chemistry..."

I grin "A pretty face and an intellectual..." Wait, did I just say she had a pretty face?!

She blushes, looking at me nervously "P-pretty?"

I hold up my hooves and wave them "No! I mean, yes! but not that you're cute- I mean, you are! But I... AUGH!"

She giggles "You're silly Doctor."

I grin weakly "Yes, silly... okay, how about we get you home?"

She nods and gasps "Wait! souvenirs! I promised that I'd get all my friends souvenirs if I went to space! I'll be right back!" she shoots through the fair's stalls, coming back with five bags stuffed to the brim with items "Okay! I got them!Let's go!"

I blink "Two things: how are you carrying all that? Those bags are bigger than you are. Second, did you pay for all of that?"

"I'm a mailmare, we're strong. And of course not! The owners are unconscious! I think some random items are good enough payment for saving the planet!"

I raise a hoof to object but think better of it "Okay... but if you keep doing that, someone is bound to get angry at you..."

She shrugs "I'll deal with that if it happens. Now to the TARDIS!!"

I follow, rolling my eyes and laughing to myself You are a unique one Ditzy Doo.


The TARDIS lands in an empty warehouse and Ditzy gallops out, bags in tow "Where are we?"

"Ponyville. About ten minutes after you left. Oh? Didn't I mention the old girl is a time machine too?"

She stares up at the TARDIS and grins "This is the best day of my entire life! A time and space machine! That's so cool!!"

I nod "That she is... so! I'll be seeing you hopefully..."

She cocks her head "What do you mean? Where are you going?"

I pause Where am I going?

She grins weakly "Oh... I understand... you have other responsibilities..." she shakes her head and smiles from ear to ear "Thank you Doct-" I put a hoof on her mouth "No, I'm staying. I have no where I need to be... except right here, right now. Ditzy, I haven't had a companion like you in a long time... and I'm tired of running away from goodbyes. Never say goodbye my dear Mailmare. You still need a Doctor to do his duty. 'Heal the sick, combat problems, and teach others' That's what you said yes?"

She nods, grinning wide "Right! Now I really want to wash all this goop off my coat... I smell bad..."

I chuckle "So do I... to your house?"

She beams and takes off "Yup! Allons-y!"

I pause and follow her "Hey! That's my thing!"

Author's Note:

Woo! Another chapter today! I am on fire!

anyways, this is just the first adventure The Doctor and his charming assistant will have!

Next time, on Doctor Whooves:

"What the hay happened to you two?!" Carrot Top yells.

Ditzy smiles weakly "Would you believe, that we fought aliens on another world and this is what got on us?"

I facehoof in response

Entering the "Normal" life