An ancient evil returns yet again, and this time, Shining Armor is the only line of defense. He calls upon his sister and his ruler to help, but they cannot fight this battle for him. His wife is tied up, so to speak, holding the darkness at bay once more.
How will he manage this one?
Submission for the Twilestia Collab.
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Alright. I think I found out what happened.
Just by having Celestia live with Twilight as her wife will seclude probably over half the entire fandom to the hate pile, becouse, they don't like that ship.
It's why I don't stick ships into my stories. It limits my audience right off the back.
Some of the dialogue seems forced... I can't think of a reasonable explanation, and it pains me to say that. It just feels wrong.
I think it's mainly the TwiLestia stuff, maybe narrative and dialogue, but I can't put into words why that feels wrong.
Sorry
6302173
Hey, any feedback helps. Got any specific passages in mind for what feels 'off'?
And much like the other story you commented on, this one was written by request, so...yeah, it's a bit weird.
6306606
Not to get specific, but you from the way you talked about it made it seem like your idea.
I'll look on specific passages in a bit
6310782
The basic story was my idea, but the fact that it features TwiLestia was by request. I was asked to write something for the prompt collab, and so I did. I came up with the outline of the story myself.
I'm also really bad at explaining that. Sorry!
6311461
It's all good, I get tongue tied myself more times then you'd think, but yeah. I feel that the story you described to me at the con could very well be a good one. It's just, throwing a premise as TwiLestia on top is like fighting fire with fire. You gotta pick a side and no one is happy.
6313161
Yeah, I can see that. I dunno, I might rewrite it, but...my writing mojo is kinda kaput right now.
6314643 Then focus on reading. Learn how to write while working on your Mojo.