Determination
Chapter 5: Determination
The perfectly sung melody of the lark, the buzzing of the bees as they collected their pollen for the good of both the flowers and the hive, as well as the gentle breeze that caressed the leaves of the trees, giving the forest a voice: it was all lost on Whisper. He had made a promise, and even though he didn’t remember anything about his past, or really, about social convention in general, it gnawed at him to just walk away. He told himself, time and time again, that it was for the best, that if he didn’t show, she would leave after a time and go back to life as usual. That, if nothing else, she would be safe, and his magic wouldn’t go off like it was starting to in the house. And yet... he couldn’t shake the simple feeling that this was wrong. It had only been a day, less than twenty four hours that he had even known the mare existed, but as he watched the sun rise to the center of the sky and start its descent, he slowed to a stop.
It feels... like something’s missing. Why am I doing what I don’t want to do? It’s for her safety, isn’t it? But, if that’s really true, then why... He continued his aimless journey, trodding through the brush until a leafy branch brushed across his face, jolting his mind and leaving no doubt as to what it was he couldn’t put his hoof on; it was her hoof on his cheek. It belonged there, but he was walking away. An overpowering desire flooded through him at the remembrance of the first kindness he had ever been shown, and it sealed his fear away as he frantically searched around to gain his bearings. If nothing else, even if I can’t afford to stay with her, I want... to at least see her, one more time. Chancing another glance at the sun, he figured he was already an hour late at least, and the urgency boiling from within flared a little brighter, pushing him into a brisk trot.
“Twilight, can you take Dawn for a moment?” The foal was still sleeping quite soundly, and her mother willingly complied, levitating the foal over to her back and casting a curious eye at Cerulean. They were due at the train station soon to catch the morning train to Ponyville, and there were no detours planned. It was a spur of the moment decision on Cerulean’s part, but one that Twilight knew was important enough to allow. “I’d... like to check on Bangles, if that’s ok.”
“Of course, Cerulean. Just don’t miss the train, ok?” Bidding Twilight and Silver goodbye, he changed course, passing through the residential areas until coming to a small, single pony house. He had thought that with everything that had happened, he’d never be able to forgive, but all it took was seeing her after having Spikeflail ripped from her consciousness to see the depth of her brokenness, perhaps even greater than his own had been. And so, it was with confidence that he raised his hoof, rapping on the door a few times and listening as the telltale jingle of her favorite accessories signaled her approach.
“Ce... Cerulean? I... what are...”
“Do you mind if I come in?” She immediately shook her head, standing to the side as he entered and looked around at the bleak living conditions. There was a single, one pony sofa, a small wooden table near the kitchen, and a matching chair that looked like it had seen better days. There were no wall hangings, decorations, or color, really, the walls being painted a drab grey. It was like she had turned the place into a monument of depression, and it moved Cerulean to pry, just a little. “Bangles... you haven’t been well, have you...”
“I... have a place to live, and food to eat. I really shouldn’t...”
“Ponies need more than that, Bangles. Have you... made any friends at all?” She slowly closed the door, not wanting to face him.
“What right... do I have... to anything like that?” No, I can’t let him see me cry... I don’t deserve his sympathy, after what I’ve done... “Cerulean, everypony here knows... they know what I’ve done... Just getting groceries is enough of a task, let alone finding... somepony who will give me the time of day.”
“So, you’ve been all alone these last two years?” She flinched as his hoof descended on her shoulder, and despite her half hearted attempts to resist, turned to face him with small streams flowing from her eyes. “Come back to Ponyville with me.”
“Freefall, hurry it up! Come on, man, we’re gonna be late to welcome back the boss!” Snowdrift’s shouts were seemingly ignored until a very miserable, very tired looking pegasus dragged himself over to the door, cracked it open and peered at his grinning friend with eyes that conveyed nothing but loathing. “Late night with the mares?”
It’s just not fair. I’m the one who’s good with talking, who knows what to say and when to say it, so how come he gets the prize and I’m stuck trying to snag whoever date I can find? It’s just not right! “That... is the last time... I try dating twins. It was horrible.”
“Scarred for life, eh? Aloe and Lotus, who knew?”
“They’re monsters! They act so sweet, but... but...”
“Ok, come on, maybe Silver will throw a mini-party at the tavern when he gets back. Speaking of, you could always ask...”
“Don’t even mention that pink bundle of crazy. Contrary to appearances, I do like a mare to have at least some capacity for rational thought.”
“Whatever, Freefall. Come on, let’s get going.” Allowing himself one more groan, Freefall complied and plodded wearily beside his friend. Berry was, predictably, waiting outside with Ruby, which only served to deepen his jealousy as he watched Snowdrift banter back and forth with his fillyfriend, making the most glaringly obvious verbal blunders only to have Berry laugh them off and reward him with kisses. It was simply unfair. The rest of the gang was already there, with Applejack at the forefront next to Spike. It was just past noon, and Freefall was certain that no amount of booze, soda, sugar, or any other substance known to ponykind would be able to yank him from his dejected funk. The train pulled up, the ponies filed out, and then he saw her.
Cheerful chatter broke out all around as Twilight, Cerulean, and Silver stepped out into the sunlight, but the mare that followed after commanded all of Freefall’s attention. With beautiful emerald bangles adorning her legs, also matching her scilliant eyes and gleaming hair, complementing the lemon yellow coat and cute freckles, he made true to his name and fell with a thud, his legs deciding that standing was much too audacious in the presence of such beauty. Snowdrift, looked back and forth between the two and rolled his eyes.
“Just can’t resist a new mark, can you.”
“No, Snowdrift, this is for real. I think she’s...”
“Don’t even say it, ‘cause I’ve kept track. At least, since flight camp.”
“She’s the one...”
“One hundred and forty two, my over-eager stallion. Congrats.”
True to her inner commitment, Fluttershy sat at the edge of the pond, eyes closed and hind legs hanging over the edge, sending ripples across the surface with each soft kick. She didn’t bother looking at the sky, as she had done countless times that afternoon, because it didn’t matter. Even if it took all night, if it meant she’d get to say she was sorry, to see Whisper again, it would be worth it. Whisper... even though you’ve broken your promise, I forgive you. Please, come back. I want... to feel your hoof on my cheek. She mimicked the motion with her own, smiling as she began to sing. The tears came, slowly at first as she simply spoke what was in her heart.
“You think you’re a monster...
I told you I knew better...
but still, you ran away.
All you’ve ever known is pain,
I see you hide behind your mane,
just as I do, every day...
All I want is a Whisper,
All I need; a gentle touch.
I long to hold your hoof once more,
feel the warmth I miss so much..."
As she opened her eyes, she turned her gaze slowly to the sky, where the sun was no longer visible and pink was fading to deep scarlet as the last of the daylight faded away. Her hoof slowly dropped from her wet cheeks and to her chest, as she managed one last verse before being too overcome to speak.
“Oh please, I ask you, wind;
won’t you carry this song to him?
I know he could use a friend...
So even if he never shows
my care for him, he’s always know...
Even if... this is... the end...”
What... what is this... Whisper slowed to a stop as an incredible feeling of sorrow washed over him. He hadn’t been thinking about anything other than finding his way back to the pond, but it was growing darker and he was becoming more and more lost by the moment. But this feeling... Fluttershy... this is... you, isn’t it? Please, hold on, I’m trying! Closing his eyes, he focused every sense, every fiber of his being into the emotion flooding his heart. It was faint, but he could swear he heard something, deep in the forest. Glancing up as the last of daylight faded and stars came into view with the rising of the moon, he followed the tug within his chest, his hope to see her again driving away what remained of hesitation.
His usually silent canter, his stealth and precision were cast aside as he barreled through the undergrowth, ignoring the whipping branches and roots that floored him time and time again. It took all his effort not to cry out in pain as he jumped a fallen tree only to land in a briar patch, covering his body in inflamed, raking scratches. It never occurred to him to stop and question the urgency with which he fled, and if he had, the answer would have been simple. No matter his reasons, this anguish that was echoing through his soul was because of him, and it couldn’t go on. That mare... doesn’t deserve to feel like this. Not the one pony who treated me like I'm normal. No, wait, come back! Like the receding of the sea, the silent call slipped away, leaving him without direction, lost in the night. What could... please, just let her be safe... Offering a silent prayer to the wind, he pressed on as the last of the feeling drifted away.
“Freefall, what is this?” A glance revealed it to be, by his best guess, one of many severely botched orders that he had put out that night, his somewhat limited mental capacity entirely consumed with thoughts of the new mare in town. She was, at a glance, one who kept herself presentable, quiet, and perhaps most importantly, “smoking hot,” as he put it. Snowdrift could handle an appreciation for beauty, but what he couldn’t handle as head chef was one of his kitchen staff consistently pumping out sub-par food. If it weren’t for the fact that a good buzz would likely worsen the infatuation, he would have allowed it in the hopes of temporarily removing extra thoughts from his mind.
“That... uh... was supposed to be... shoot, what’s it called?” Snowdrift didn’t even bother attempting to correct him, tossing the dish aside and storming out of the kitchen. If Freefall was unfit, then it was his duty to find a suitable replacement, even if it was only temporary.
“Cerulean, do you have some time?”
“Sure, Snow. What can I help with?”
“Ever since the arrival of your friend, Freefall has been, well, useless. More so than normal, I mean. I need somepony to help on the line, or Silver’s gonna take a hit to business after the dreadful dishes he’s turning out.”
“Wait a second... you mean he’s got his eye on Bangles?”
“Yeah...” Cerulean rose without a further word on the subject and into the kitchen, taking his place beside Freefall and getting right to work. The pegasus in question was, at that point, too enraptured to pay him any heed, at least until Cerulean raised the topic on his mind and gave him reason to speak.
“So, Freefall, is it?”
“Uh huh.”
Ok, first things first. If this clown is even thinking about double dealing... wait, would it be triple dealing, since he was with the spa sisters last I checked? Doesn’t matter, if there’s even a possibility... “How’d your date with Aloe and Lotus go?” He promptly dropped not a pinch of cayenne into the pot but the container itself, shuddering not for the ponies that would be consuming the soup, and likely copious quantities of Everfrost, but the horrors that filled his mind at the memory.
“Please, never mention those two by name... Worst night of my life, trying to keep those two happy. You wouldn’t believe... ugh, I’m not even going to mention the horn file.” Stepping in and fishing out the now empty container of pepper, Cerulean checked one worry off the list and moved on to the next item.
“Word around the tavern is a certain mare has caught your eye.” Cerulean quickly yanked Freefall’s hoof out of the way as his skills with a knife were called into question, likely saving the usability of the hapless stallion’s limb, or at least negating the need for stitches. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’ I happen to know her very well, so I’m going to ask; how much do you even know about her?”
“I don’t even know her name, yet. I’ve never had any issue chatting up the ladies, but I just can’t focus since seeing her.”
“Clearly.”
“You said you know her, right? Oh man, come on, you’ve gotta tell me about her!”
Ok Freefall, you asked for this. Let’s see what happens in the brain of yours when confronted with something serious. “What I tell you stays between us, agreed? I'm serious, you say anything about this to anypony and there will be pain.”
“Sure thing, whatever, now come on! I’m dying to know about this mare.”
“Ok, well, for starters, while under the influence of a split personality formed from early childhood trauma, she raped me, had me thrown in jail, and later tried to kill both myself and Twilight. But other than that, she’s real quiet.” Hmmm, just as I expected. I think his brain has just exploded, though his ears have done a great job at holding it in. Sorry, Bangles, for giving your secrets away so easily. But this clown clearly...
“But... she’s really pretty.”
Clearly... has a one track mind. Great, what the hay am I supposed to say to that? “Did you... even hear what I just said?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, that stuff. You said that was her other her, or whatever, right? Does she still get like that?”
“Well, no, but...”
“Ok then, what’s there for me to worry about?”
I suppose I really should thank you, Freefall. You’re making me feel much better about myself and my sometimes questionable intelligence. Still, one last test. Snowdrift turned at Freefall’s yelp, having been tossed to the ground and frozen up to his neck by a very serious looking Cerulean. “Freefall, you cannot possibly understand with that feeble mind of yours what she’s been through. She doesn’t need to be let down, or to have her heart broken anymore than it already is, so give me something to show me you’re serious.” Cerulean, not knowing Freefall all that well, couldn’t have understood how much it spoke to Snowdrift that he wasn’t backing out, nor pleading for mercy. That alone would have convinced the pegasus, but he knew that Cerulean needed something more substantial.
Oh man, this just got intense. What does he want me to say? No, screw that, what should I say? How much do I want this mare? “You can... take what’s left of my wings.” Cerulean narrowed his eyes for a moment, watching for signs of hesitancy before shattering the ice and helping him to his feet.
“That may be the smartest thing you’ve ever said, Freefall. What do you think, Cerulean?” Snowdrift murmured, thankful that his friend hadn’t come to harm.
“I think I need a drink. I’m starting to feel like a genius hanging around this guy, and I don’t want it getting to my head,” Cerulean mumbled, shaking his head in disbelief as Freefall looked from face to face.
“So, wait, do I pass?”
“You’re free to fall as hard as you want, given you stick to whatever boundaries she lays down. Treat her right, or you’ll lose more than just your wings.” True to form, he disregarded the seriousness of the moment and let out a colossal shout as Cerulean left the kitchen, going back to his work with newfound energy and purpose. There was still one problem lingering in his mind, but he would figure out some way to talk to her even if it killed him. Which, if he didn’t pay more attention to the knife, it just might.
No matter where Whisper looked, no matter how far he ran, their meeting place eluded him. His coat was matted with sweat and blood from the nicks and cuts, but he ignored the stinging sensation, pressing onward despite being short on breath. He had lost track of how many times he had fallen, but as yet another root brought him to the ground, he lay still, his chest heaving and the pounding of his heart being the only sound he could hear, save the crickets. Why is this so important to me? Just this afternoon, I was ready to walk away, to leave and never come back. It seemed so long ago, that night that he had experienced the warmth of another’s touch, but the memory was all the reminder he needed.
He could feel the urge to simply lay down and sleep growing with every labored breath, his fatigue reaching its peak while his muscles locked up from their cease in activity. Fluttershy, call out to me. Please, just a word. Something, anything to lead me back to you. I’m lost... can you bring me back? A stirring deep within caused him to shudder as he could feel magic accumulating within, and behind closed eyes he could see the increase in light as his horn began to glow. Magic was something he refused to use, as the only time it ever seemed to release was when he spoke, and the only thing that had ever brought was pain for everypony. He tried to squelch it down but stopped as his mind was suddenly flooded by a longing that wasn’t his own. Loneliness, regret, rejection: they whirled through his mind, pointing him towards the source.
Struggling back to his hooves, he tried to run but stumbled as a lancing pain shot through his right foreleg, bringing him to his knees. It was a sprain, and a bad one at that, each step feeling like his hoof was being broken off at the joint and no doubt caused by his last fall. Holding the throbbing limb to his chest, he made his way slowly on three hooves, stopping frequently to close his eyes reach out, grasping madly for the source of the despair. After another fifteen minutes, he emerged from the forest into a small clearing, back where he had met the beautiful mare that lay asleep, shivering and cold on the other side of the pond. It’s... coming from her, just like I thought... She waited... this whole time, just for me... I’m sorry... I’m sorry I’m so late, Fluttershy.
Stats
Page generated in 0.025 seconds
Total duration
738 users online
578,410 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Second chapter today?
How you manage to keep a one-chapter-a-day schedule and give extra chapters without sacrificing even a sliver of quality or going completely insane, I'll never know.
627093
The fact we have 20+ written already. That every time you see a fic still updating we may already have a new one in the works, that some days Ceru can whip out a max of 4 chapters.
627141
Oh.
Still impressive.
this came out just as I was reading the last chapter, perfect timing
627224 The truth of the matter is sometimes I get really far into a fic and realize that things need to be changed in the earlier segments. I like being able to release a chapter a day, as I absolutely hated waiting for a month between updates for the few fics I was reading. Quality, especially after realizing how rushed "Tears" was, is a high priority, and I will sometimes scrap whole chapters and start from scratch if I'm not satisfied with the first. Still, I do love me some double posting on my days off!
Nice, a little company for Bangles. I had been wondering if you two had anyone in mind for Freefall.
627288
I think you and everyone else will enjoy what we have planned for him
627261
I understand, I use that same method (although it's in other kind of projects, since I'm still studying engineering): Start very early, and improve upon what's already done when you have better ideas.
Nothing like waking up, and having your first thought be "Hey, that could work!" instead of "Shit. I should have done it this way."
thanks for posting two chapters today.
Another fantastic read. I love the cliffhangers you leave.
Another great chapter, in another great story, in an already fantastic series.
627261 if only I had that commitment, then we would have quite a few discord
celestia fics and a few good adventure fics
Bangles is leaving Canterlot? That can. Mean only one thing, one of the grounded pegasuses will get a girlfriend.
Edit:
Finished chapter. I love being right.
Please. Bangles is my favorite character, ever since Spikeflail was revealed.
I really hope it works out for Bangles, she deserves something good after all that she has been forced to do.