I Never got to Say Goodbye

by Jazz

Prolouge (Just something put together)

Hello, I'm Autumn. I'm twenty four now, and six years away from regret. Your going to ask what regret I'm facing in six years, correct? Well. Here's my story. Read on if you'd like to know.

Comments

[Violet Rose in The Rain]

Prolouge (Just something put together)

And right off the bat, we already have a spelling problem. It's prologue.

Hello, I'm Autumn. I'm twenty four now, and six years away from regret. Your going to ask what regret I'm facing in six years, correct? Well. Here's my story. Read on if you'd like to know.

Change the "Your" in "Your going to ask".

I'm twenty four now, and six years away from regret

What does this mean? They'll do something they'll regret at the age of thirty? Or is there some inevitable, catastrophic event that the persona will encounter at the age of thirty?

Personally, if I were you, I'll delete the entire chapter outright and start the story with the next chapter. This prologue only informs us that the main character is called Autumn and that they'll be inevitably screwed in six years. It doesn't set the scene, it doesn't tell us what they look like, where they live or even the nature of the disaster itself.

Moreover, forty-one words in a single chapter is too short by Fimfiction standards and very little information was conveyed in the words that you have typed out. This is the type of introduction that leaves the viewers confused or worse, discouraged from reading the rest of the story and leaving upvotes and comments.