Previous Chapters Next
Close
Chapter 1: Applejack and the Large Number of Apples890 words
Chapter 2: Cadance and the Concept of Polyamory, and Also Some Stuff About Genetics288 words
Chapter 3: Super Trampoline and the Idiosyncrasies of Prench horn215 words
Chapter 4: Oh How the Mighty Have Fallen: A Hydra Fights Corruption Charges as a Batpony Fights Mary Sue Charges455 words
Chapter 5: Angle Bunny is Acute Rabbit112 words
Chapter 6: It Ain't Easy Being Sleazy377 words
Chapter 7: Trixie Must Face the Realities of Her Place In Life461 words
Chapter 7.5: A gift for Estee1 words
Chapter 8: Rise of Shining Armor's Food Cart Empire223 words
Special Guest Author Protopony350: Super Tramampoline gets spied on by a lesser pony who also wishes to put an end to Friday forever610 words
Chapter 9: Even Ponies As Awesome As Me Get Depressed Sometimes.97 words
Chapter 10: You Better Believe I've Got Trix Up My Sleeves, Except I Don't Have Sleeves.239 words
Chapter 11: Darn Luna, You Scary!234 words
Chapter 14: I Did the Thing Samurai Jack Wanted To Do But Never Could504 words
Chapter 15: Ain't No Rest For the Lazy170 words
Chapter 18: MEANWHILE...183 words
Chapter 19: WHEANMILE...88 words
Chapter 20: WHILEMEAN...71 words
Chapter 21: Something Happens and I'm Head Over Heels294 words
Chapter 24: Applejack Bakes Bread73 words
Chapter 25: Applejack Faces Her Insecurities254 words
Chapter 26.158 words
Seeing someone treated respectfully by a parent left your character with a sense of respect. An act of dishonesty on the part of a mentor left your character feeling resentful and made your character decide to get even. Your character had many friends g107 words
The Freedom Fighter397 words
If you don't Vote, downvote89 words
Chapter Twenty Eight: In Which Rainbow Dash is Sick and Applejack Bakes Pie208 words
Chapter 29: The Return of Florgishmontumeridaph216 words
Chapter 30: Sunset Cuddles124 words
Beginning of the Black and Red Alicorn OC Arc: Chapter 31: The Beginning of a Plot91 words
Chapter 32: Back to the Past139 words
Chapter 33: A Leave of Our Previous Plot To Talk About Gardening136 words
Chapter 34: Applejack's Eyebrows107 words
Chapter 35: The Rainforest171 words
Chapter Thirty Six: And Also The Major Antagonists.124 words
Chapter 37: The OCs That Time Forgot145 words
Chapter 38: The Elder388 words
Chapter 39: Meanwhile Back at the Farm126 words
Chapter 40: The Attack120 words
Chapter 41: The Escape100 words
Chapter 42: The Jungle Part 1132 words
Chapter 43: The Jungle Part 2133 words
Chapter 44: The Temple Part 1111 words
Chapter 45: The Temple Part 2159 words
Chapter 46: The Temple Part 3141 words
Chapter 47: Meanwhile, a Story About Cadance and Shining Armor and Coffee Creamer138 words
Chapter 48: Back to the Battle99 words
Chapter 49: Meanwhile, a Story About Trixie131 words
I Just Realized That There is Nothing Stopping Me From Updating This Story.128 words
Oh God, There is Nothing Stopping Me From Writing Literally ANYTHING I Want Here (As Long as It is Rated “Everyone”)!68 words
My Friend's Unamed OC Likes Broccoli75 words
A Short Chapter With Princess Ember64 words
Batponies Love Mangos99 words
Poop110 words
Not a Good Day76 words
Just For Fun, I Wrote This Chapter With the Help of a Neural Network.98 words
The Shortest Chapter of This Story33 words
Starlight Glimmer Introduces a Bit of Plot to This Whole Mess296 words
New Year, New Traditions170 words
You're Probably Wondering Why I've Gathered You All Here Today225 words
Use 60 to insert the chapter number dynamically168 words
Super Trampoline Takes a Nap34 words
Super Trampoline Makes a Pun87 words
Announcement:71 words
646464646464646464646464646464646464646464646464646464646464646464646464646464646464646464646464288 words
1711,486 681 3,573 Edit Publish 1 Formatting Chapter Title Use 65 to insert the chapter number dynamically. You can also add a number to the value such as 67 FILE FORMAT HELP Sp110 words
Applejack571 words
Oops127 words
Does Saying Rainbow Dash is Hot Bump the Rating of This From Everyone to Teen? I Hope Not, Because Rainbow Dash is Hot.87 words
Depression40 words
Oh109 words
Remember that K-Pop Song, Gee Gee Gee Gee Baby Baby?165 words
As Rarity Would Say, I love Being Covered in Maud!129 words
The Party Part 1152 words
The Quest, Part 1228 words
The Talk Part 1502 words
The Ponk Part 1296 words
The Bonk Part 1137 words
Chapter 78: The Talk564 words
This Story is (For) Now Exactly 15,000 Words Long!71 words
Chapter 79: New Horizons906 words
Now For a Birthday Chapter!!!83 words
"Crushed By Foals" by the dobermans: Guest Author Week Day 11,049 words
“Infrastructure Week for My Infinite Marefriends (a.k.a. The Ride Literally Never Ends)” by Jay Bear v2: Guest Author Week Day 2552 words
"Bumblebeau Takes the Cake" by Bumblebeau: Guest Author Week Day 3586 words
Taking a Break From Guest Author Week Because Not That Many People Actually Submitted Guest Chapters293 words
Chapter 86: From Ladle to Grave183 words
Chapter 87 Haha this is very clearly fiction and not at all based on what has actually been happening in my life over the last three days! Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter217 words
87 chapter142 words
Tanka Week Day 121 words
Tanka Day 222 words
Celestia Tanka21 words
Trenderhoof Tanka21 words
Ruby Pinch Tanka28 words
Shining Amor Tanka22 words
bIG mAC tANKA24 words
Twilight drops a truth Tsar-Bomba112 words
Cuddles184 words
Chapter 989898989898279 words
Hey Cheerilee Cheerilee by Glaze and The Living Tombstone Tanka23 words
Stats Page generated in 0.076 seconds Total duration 0.376 seconds 1,165 users online 494,874 hits today, 1,554,714 yesterday • Site Statistics FIMFiction My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg96 words
Oh Snap this must be the Hundredth Chapter! Because I used % i % to insert the chapter number dynamically and the result is: 101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101345 words
Chapter 102: I Cleaned My Room!365 words
Listen to Tower of Babel by Elton Bon548 words
This Chapter Contains a Slightly Strange Picture of Two Sandwiches I Made Today and Also a List of the Ingredients Contained Within Each Sandwich. Oh, and Also a Pizza Recommendation.366 words
Big Mac and I Make Out. Also, I'm Sad No One Commented On My Sandwiches :(((227 words
I hang out with Purple Smart257 words
Help I'm Stuck in a Very Short Chapter!6 words
Follow & Support Us Support us PATREON Chat! DISCORD Follow us TWITTER MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2020 Hasbro Inc.® Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®137 words
Dawn of a New Era222 words
Hello, my name is Bryan, and I would like to apply for this opportunity. I am confident and outgoing, have a flexible schedule, am easy to work with, have a reliable car, and am vaccinated. My email is bchandleremail@gmail.com, my phone number is (714) 49207 words
This chapter is kinda weird even by the standards of this story, but also one of the few chapters that doesn't include an increasingly dumb joke about making out.578 words
I'm a ballistics expert. And I'm a PC!327 words
Chapter 113: Tanka Week 2: Tanka Harder: Electric Scootaloo656 words
Chapter 114: Tank Tanka38 words
Chapter 420,69: Celestia's Tonka Truck-Sized Badonka Tanka which does not feature the appearance of Ivanka or Sri Lanka160 words
Thanksgiving Tanka, Ostensibly, But Really More About the Fleeting Nature of Youth, Featuring Pinkie Pie1,049 words
Can't sleep tanka84 words
Chapter 69,000,000,000,118: Finally an Actual Tanka: Making Out Tanka22 words
Chapter 119: Nap Tanka27 words
Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Tanka200 words
Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter246 words
Chapter 122: It Begins222 words
USe 123 To iNSert thE chaPTEr NumBER dynaMIcalLy70 words
One time I told Sibsy she look like a female Steve Perry and she got mildly annoyed153 words
Prin124cess CELECECEcestia %i-i% Farts a Lot %i-420% 125P125r125i125n125c125e125ss 125Celestia 125F125a125r125t125s125 125a125 125l125o125t.180 words
Ponka Tanka23 words
I wrote this chapter while on the clock at work because I'm a bad boy like sprout except with massively less racism and homoerotic tension with hitch530 words
not bad. fugues are hard. i like that unexpected modulation around 1:00 and the passage which ensconces it. i would have liked more suspended notes, more variation of rhythm, more syncopation, a little more airspace, and personally i would prefer more var104 words
While attempting to write a chapter, Super Trampoline has an epiphany about glasses and his pony design620 words
Super Trampoline Gives Two Cheese Recommendations: BellaVitano Merlot and Ricotta || Also I make fun of bronies a bit294 words
Chapter something or other, a PSA about Skin Cancer and my Poor Spelling Abilities157 words
Chapter 132: I Accidentally Turned Myself Invisible, so this Chapter might be kind of difficult to read.350 words
Title stories blogs new chapter add new chapter followers following chapter number dynamically195 words
THIS CHAPTER INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK1 words
HERP DERP CHIRP CHIRP217 words
talking about drugs, which you should not do.387 words
🅱️ionicle362 words
Sunny Starscout joins the cast173 words
Chapter 139: Pipp sort of joins the party. Go follow Culture Slate on Twitter, Youtube, Facebook etc. I'm writing this on one of their computers lol282 words
chapter 140: Trixie explains a dumb prank she wants to pull on Twilight with my assistance to me. ALTERNATIVE TITLE: You better believe, I've got asides, diversions, and tangents up my sleeve.1,000 words
Trixie has Bofa611 words
Princess Zipp is gay297 words
A Pony Looks at 30 (Post Birthday Chapter)444 words
Zoom Calls and Mary Sues86 words
What about dis cord EMM Preggggganteyyyyyy234 words
Chapter 146 : Shoresy168 words
Twilight Gets Wasted at the Grand Galloping Gala and acts scandalous198 words
Pisscord264 words
Florgishmontumeridaph returns and I take my mental health somewhat seriously259 words
Flanderizer? I hardly know 'er!201 words
Chapter 52: Skittles, with apologies to Bookplayer103 words
Chapter 152 Chapter 152You're invited! Shooting Stargazing gang gang! When: tonight, 9pm-ish to 1am-ish, depending on when people are free and have to head home. Lots of carpooling options. Where: Desert northeast of LA, Somewhere near intersecti185 words
Well yeah well you're funny looking too I'm a kitty friend or you're even bigger cutie pie you're the cutie pie is yep no I'm not I refuse to be quiet I shall tell the world how cute you are holding okay I need Jesus Take Me to Ch234 words
Interlude: Meanwhile in the human world: Did you know that I have a girlfriend in real life who is a Pega sister358 words
Applejack and the Absurdity of Equestrian Foreign Policy475 words
Chapter oroboros208 words
Chapter 157: Applejack and the absurdity of going back jack and doing it again aka stop me if you've heard this one AKA there are differences I promise529 words
Chapter 158: Harbor Neight Tools564 words
Chapter Florida Hilbert Hotel303 words
ChatGPTer 42069: Computer attempts to steal my job688 words

Chapter 86: From Ladle to Grave

One night, on a night very much like this one we are experiencing currently, my back was itchy. Now, yes, I have boney bat wings that are decent scritchy scratchers, but there's an area of my back between my wings that they can't reach. However, I was in the kitchen washing dishes when this itchy back attack began. And I was going to grab the meat tenderizer to scratch my back (yes, some of us ponies occasionally eat meat. It's a contentious issue.), but then I saw--in the same pitcher/jug/vase thingie we keep various utensils and implements in--a black spatula. And I thought, I bet this will work as a back scratcher! And you know what? I was completely right. I scratched my back with that spatula and it felt incredibly amazing. And I wanted to share this experience with you, dear reader. And now I have.

Have a great night!

EDIT: I have just learned that the kitchen utensil I have been calling a spatula my entire life is in fact called a pasta ladle.
My life is a lie.

Author's Note:

You thought I was joking, didn't you?