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by Super Trampoline

Special Guest Author Protopony350: Super Tramampoline gets spied on by a lesser pony who also wishes to put an end to Friday forever

Here's the thing!

My name is Cloppy the Horse. My dream was crushed at an early age because I wanted to be the most loved pony horse in all of Equestria, but that dream was crushed when Super Tramampoline was born. He was born on a Friday, MY favorite day! This would not stand! I WILL have my revenge!

I walked to the milkshake hut to have myself a smoothie, but wouldn't ya know it? Trapapoline was having lunch with Sunset Shimmer who had come back to Equestria JUST to be with Sugar Frapoline! SHE WAS MY FIRST LOVE also This is the first time I've ever seen her. This would not stand! I WILL have my revenge!

I decided to check the local library for some books on how to kill a day of the week, but my eyes were assaulted by the image of Scooter Gasoline SMOOCHING Twilight Sparkle! How DARE he? She's MY honybun! Or she would be if I ever talked to her. This would not stand! I WILL have my revenge!

Well I was just about ready to kill Subpar Stupidline (Lol I just came up with that why won't any mare slove me I'm so funny!) when I realized I needed to go to the mall because it was half off on turtle wax day! Oh man I REALLY NEEDED SOME MORE TURTLE WAX so I headed to the mall. But OH NO on the way I saw Supper Tortellini walking home with ALL of the turtle wax! Oh man he was headed to Rainbow Dash's house to help clean Tank and after that make out! This would not stand! I WILL have my revenge!

So I came up with a plan! I'd KILL Luna and Celesita, but only on Fridays so they can't do that sun and moon thing. They could still live on the other days but if I caught them living on Friday I'd kill them! But OH BOY HERE WE GO AGAIN! Snapper Vaseline was in Canterlot, and he was holding horse hands with TRIXIE! I ACTUALLY KNOW TRIXIE AND SHE IS THE BEST PONY AND I AM IN LOVE WITH HER AND I SENT HER A TON OF LOVE LETTERS AND FLOWERS AND WHEN SHE DIDN'T ANSWER ME I SENT HER A VILE OF MY OWN TEARS OH BOY AM I ROMANTIC OR WHAT ALSO SHE GOT SOME COURT ORDER AGAINST ME OR SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW I DON'T READ MY MAIL! This would not stand! I WILL have my revenge!

I made it to the castle! Also it is Thursday at 11:50 PM so I have to work fast to kill Friday! I snuck into the castle and I saw BOTH PRINCESSES at the food table! And not only that, BUT I ALSO saw Soccer Maybelline EATING COOKIES WITH THEM! Cookies are MY FAVORITE FOOD! My Cutie Mark was a cookie! How DARE he eat a cookie and also get all kissy kissy with the Princesses? This would not stand! I WILL have my revenge!

So I walked right up to all 3 of them and pulled out the Princess slaying sword! BUT WITH A BURST OF POWER Singer Palpatine unleashed a storm of pure love magic that had been within him all along but it took someone threatening his loves to make it manifest. And now I am being burnt alive. I looked up at the amazing and dashing pony. "Any last words?" He asked me. "This will not stand, I WILL have my revenge!" and after that I turned into a pile of bones. Something else happened but I spilled juice on that page.
THE END!

Author's Note:

Many thanks to the ineffable immaculate ephemeral ethereal Protopony350! Go check out his masterful Swootie Belle series!

Comments

[Protopony350]

10/10 this mysterious guest sure knows what he's doing!

[RaritySimper44]

Okay wow this was funny at first but now its just getting ridiculous.

[Chicago Ted]

6115719
I agree.

This will not stand! We Fimfiction authors WILL have our revenge!

[Blueelectric]

i am listening to Rasputin and that sock horse is on beat! LOL

[Super Trampoline]

10095956
Boney M was the shit.

[Marcthelightspark2004]

My name is Cloppy the Horse. My dream was crushed at an early age because I wanted to be the most loved pony horse in all of Equestria, but that dream was crushed when Super Tramampoline was born. He was born on a Friday, MY favorite day! This would not stand! I WILL have my revenge!

You do realize that the actual day changes every year? Going forward one day? I was born on a Monday (I think) but my B-day this year was on a Friday. If I recall right

[Marcthelightspark2004]

So I came up with a plan! I'd KILL Luna and Celesita, but only on Fridays so they can't do that sun and moon thing. They could still live on the other days but if I caught them living on Friday I'd kill them! But OH BOY HERE WE GO AGAIN! Snapper Vaseline was in Canterlot, and he was holding horse hands with TRIXIE! I ACTUALLY KNOW TRIXIE AND SHE IS THE BEST PONY AND I AM IN LOVE WITH HER AND I SENT HER A TON OF LOVE LETTERS AND FLOWERS AND WHEN SHE DIDN'T ANSWER ME I SENT HER A VILE OF MY OWN TEARS OH BOY AM I ROMANTIC OR WHAT ALSO SHE GOT SOME COURT ORDER AGAINST ME OR SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW I DON'T READ MY MAIL! This would not stand! I WILL have my revenge!

Is he purposely being a SIMP/Incel?

[Super Trampoline]

10162499
lol, yeah. This was written when the concept of incel was just starting to enter the public conscious though. Also Protopony blocked me after one too many far-left blog posts :(

[Super Trampoline]

10162498
Also, I was actually born on a Sunday. Easter Sunday, in fact!

[Smithers888]

10162949
So this chapter LIES about your day of birth?! As someone who actually WAS born on a Friday, I cannot allow this to stand. I WILL have my revenge!

[ramdom_player201]

I want to upvote this story. But at the same time, I can't bring myself to break that perfect 222 upvotes.