Applejack impulsively asks Troubleshoes on a date. When things get closer however, will bad luck rears its ugly head once more? Probably. It's just his luck.
Two things striked me as odd though in this chapter.
As she looked over to Big Mac,Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith, she saw their eyes watering as they looked upon their niece, cousin, and grandchild, respectively
I'm pretty sure this is an oversight, but it makes it seem like apple bloom is insinuated to be mac's daughter.
She'd brought another life into the world, and nothing could compare to that feeling.
I'm not sure how you intended for the sentence to come across, but the way it reads on my end is Applejack has already had a foal.
Not criticizing, just pointing out things that are either oversights... or huge plot twists.
I think I can speak for almost everyone when I say, "D'awwwwwwwwwwwww!"
6570434
Really liking the story.
Two things striked me as odd though in this chapter.
I'm pretty sure this is an oversight, but it makes it seem like apple bloom is insinuated to be mac's daughter.
I'm not sure how you intended for the sentence to come across, but the way it reads on my end is Applejack has already had a foal.
Not criticizing, just pointing out things that are either oversights... or huge plot twists.
6572485 Thanks for pointing the first one out. I've always been confused by relationship terms of family past the basics.
As for the second one, I just meant 'another life' as in in the grand scheme, but I can change it to be less suggestive of something else.
Also, I'm glad you like the story. Thanks for saying so!
She sounds apsolutly adorable.I hope they make golde a brother soon.
6572596
Also, wouldn't the offspring of Granny Smith's son's daughter make Golden Horseshoes Granny Smith's great-granddaughter?
9245885
You're right. Changed, thanks.