• Member Since 21st Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 10 minutes ago

StormLuna


Potion Nova x Twilight Sparkle....Pony Life's one true ship.

Sequels1

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Starlight Glimmer discovers inequality at a very young age when her family can not afford the fee for her to apply for Celestia's school. She uses unconventional methods to gain entry but eventually gets expelled and banished from Canterlot. When she discovers who her true ancestors are, she realizes that her true destiny is more than bringing about friendship through sameness, it is something much bigger.

A first account story told by Starlight herself.

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 56 )

Great story... It's got me hooked and I can't wait to read more!

6011055 Thanks. I hope you enjoy the upcoming chapters!

It was at that moment that she knew not to fuck with me.

Unfortunately, this is the point where the immersion of the tale fell apart for me. I understand that you have a rating to uphold, but maybe toning it down a little would help in keeping the flow going and the readership up.

only time I would probably get to eat meat

uhhhhhhh you do know horses/ponies can't eat meat right?:unsuresweetie:The only protein they are shown eating are eggs and those can slide down the gullet.:eeyup:

I can't put my finger on it but there is something off about this story. I think it might be the OOC nature of :trollestia: and/or the use of Human (specifically English) cursing instead of the fanon curses that are throwing me for a loop. It almost seems AU rather than "random"

6019144 Regarding your comments, I am using the human profanity to give the characters, particularly Starlight, an edgy personality which will change a bit over time as she begins to do some soul searching and become more charismatic so she can gain and keep a following. Regarding the eating meat thing, it is meant to signify that Starlight is different, that she isn't just like everypony else. Regarding the whole thought after her taking Sunset's mark, that too is simply providing Starlight with an edgier, more standoffish personality that I have her have at this point.

I... love this.
I've only found one problem with this first chapter- it feels slightly rushed, but that may just be me. It's hard to avoid when writing. One thing's for sure though; I am definitely hooked. :twilightsmile:

6075844 Thanks! I'm glad you like it! I will admit that sometimes I do go faster than I should on some chapters.

Will there be a sequal?

6088106 There might be, I do plan on writing one that takes place in West Equestria after the split. After all, Starlight controls all the wealth now and this will resemble the fall of the Roman Empire. When the West collapsed, things in the East continued to prosper for many centuries afterwards until the Ottoman Turks finally overpowered them.

Perhaps once the West has fallen so far and Starlight deems what will rise there a threat, I will have her along with her forces go in there and eradicate the evil that will exist there.

Interesting story, but maybe some characters folded a bit too easily. It is easy to be a bad guy and win if the good guys are passive and a bit too simple for their own good.

Very much worth a read for the comedy relating to nation building.

6337506 Well I am in the process of writing one now about the collapse of West Equestria as told by Twilight. Yes it won't go into every little detail since this will focus on what goes on around Twilight as opposed to being her life story but it will play out like the collapse of the Roman Empire. Economic depression will cause harmony to be lost and evils from the past will return and eventually cause the West to collapse.

At first Celestia was reluctant. She told me that her other protege, who is a bit younger than me, never has her parents visit her. Soon though Celestia could tell that my family is very close and loving, that is what swayed her. I would soon learn that in Celestia's school and especially with the princess's other protege, that the competition would make the idiotic cheating that happened at my old school look like foal's play.

I remember when Celestia led me up to my new bedroom, which was right across from the other protege's. I was thinking that since the pony I would be working with was Celestia's protege as well, that she would be easy to get along with since our intelligence levels are similar.

It's Sunset, isn't it? It has to be.:ajbemused:

You should put Starlight Glimmer saying.

You do know that ponies don't eat meat right.

6673394 Yes I know that ponies don't eat meat BUT Starlight is of a slightly different race. She is an Eastern Pony. I discuss her lineage wen she discovers her true ancestors and also when she discovers she is related to Grand Mage Starlight Glimmer the First and where they originally came from. So they are a bit different than normal ponies. Well that and given that meat is a huge part of my diet, it is just habit to have my characters eat meat.

6673394

Funfact: Most mammalian herbivores do eat meat, they just can't/don't hunt. There are many a report of deer and such being among the first scavengers of animal carcasses, and if you were to present a horse with meat, they would eat it with no real adverse effects.

Logic would dictate that this would extend to ponies as well, would it not?

This was an adventure, a wildly underappreciated one at that. Good job!

6734319 Thanks, I completely forgot to tag it as adventure. I'm glad you liked it!!

And then at the start of season six, the Crystal Empire froze over. Too bad.

Haha filly Sunset is cute when she's mad.

And we see how Starlight's equality techniques unfold.

This is so awesome! I'm really loving this story. It's so mind blowing when characters find that they are related to a really powerful person from the past. This is like Star Wars mind blowing fanspasm! FANSPASM EVERYWHERE! :pinkiecrazy::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy:

Well those four seem like flankholes.

It seems like the villagers are not the only ones being brain washed.

She would not make a good first impression with me.  She sneered, "Why should I tell you?  I just met you and I am not going to share that with somepony I just met."

Wow. Is it just me or are the Princesses acting really OOC.

Like at first Celestia addresses Starlight as "child"?! Then Twilight acts all stuck up in this chapter here.

I would imagine Celestia addressing Starlight by something nicer like "little one" or "young one" or possibly "my little pony" as she had said that in the past once. Not to mention that she sweard intentionally in front of ponies (large crowd or not she still needs to keep her "Princess" composure).

I would imagine Twilight acting all modest saying how she became a princess wasn't a big feat. Then somepony or somedragon might blab about it, telling the story as exciting possible. Eventually Twilight would shush them and act all modest again. Then she'd probably go change the subject off herself.

So once again, is it just me or are the Princesses acting really OOC.

I did not expect Starlight to become a murderer...I LOVE IT! This story has gotten me quite entertained and I can't wait to see the transformation. Honestly those cops are stupid.

Cop 1::pinkiehappy: I KNOW WHERE SHE IS!
Cop 2::pinkiegasp: Really?! Where!?
Cop 1::twistnerd: In Vanhoover!
Cop 2::duck: Wait how would you know?
Cop 1::ajsmug: Well she told me.
Cop 2::raritystarry: Then it has to be true!
Me::facehoof:

It's nice knowing that Starlight is being humble about all this. I was afraid she would transform into a she-demon alicorn; by attitude, ego, and physical features.

...the level that will make Celestia choose between something she holds very dear or a large chunk of real estate.

This doesn't sound good :twilightoops:

Oh damn that was beautiful. Can this thing have a sequel? I'd like to see what happens on West Equestria as well. Bravo! Bravo!

Edit:
I just thought of something. What if after Starlight sends the ponies off to find Rarity's cutie mark, it turns out it's not there! Someone has stolen it and now the Four West Equestria Princesses are really mad. That would cause a lot of trouble. Yikes. Eh, it'd be interesting.

7493341 It does have a sequel! It is called "The Decline and Fall of West Equestria: Twilight's Tale"

While Twilight is the primary character in it, Celestia and Starlight also have significant roles....and a certain bacon haired unicorn will return in the end as well!

7554261

"Starlight's Story" and "Twilight's Tale?
I see what you did there. Smart.
Also: How have I not seen that?! Oh well. I'll start reading it soon. Is there a/or going to be a third instalment?

7556731 I hope you enjoy it and regarding a third one, there will not be one. Once you finish the second one you will understand why.

Hmm, I never been to interested in stories revolving Starlight. But this one kept me generally interested all the way through, and I'll have to revisit Twilight's tale as well. Good write m8, I'll see ya around.

7796778 Thanks. Starlight is my favorite character so this was a very fun story to write.

Chapter 1 I remember an episode of The Simpsons where Bart gets put into a gifted school. Somewhat surprisingly, smart & dumb kids often misbehave for the same reason -they're bored out their mind

Chapter 2 IRL, horses can eat meat. They don't have a gall bladder so they can't digest fat. Humans can't digest celery but they still eat it. EQ ponies are different from real horses because they can vomit & real horses can't. So, maybe they are different in other ways as well.

But there are probably social barriers to eating meat & this should maybe be explained.

7834639 Here is the thing, in this story Starlight is an Eastern pony while ponies like Twilight are Western ponies. It is a genetic difference because of their origins. Eastern ponies arrived in Equestria from what in our world would be Europe while Western ponies arrived in Equestria from what would be East Asia in our world. Yes I know my pony world geography may seem odd to some but my ponyverse is much different than that of most people and it definitely is radically different from canon.

Hence why Starlight eats meat and Twilight doesn't, different genetics.

Let me put it this way. You need an operation. Do you pick a doctor whose cutie mark shows a talent for
1) glass blowing
2) interpretive dance
3) candy making
4) medicine or surgery

Well, I always thought Starlight was sincere about equality -if a bit hypocritical for exempting herself. Still, this is AU & you are entitled to your own view of the character. You see her as more just power hungry?

I shall give it a read. :derpytongue2:

I feel like Starlight is being a complete moron in this story that she is being used by Sunset. She had such promise to be friends with Twilight.

Day 40: I created a cult where I am taking away children's cutie marks.

Equalizing Our Guests

I wish she won't do that. :facehoof:

10362300

Well she goes through a lot in this story and had she simply chose to befriend Twilight and do what Celestia would want, this would have been a radically different story and the sequel likely wouldn't exist.

I wish there were more background on the eastern ponies because the whole destiny thing is kind of really weak motivation to do it. Maybe mage Meadowbrook was just a tyrant. Maybe life back then was just that difficult. Starlight comes of as an entitled brat that wants for Celestia to just hoof over half the country to her. Um, okay.

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