That nose is going to need resetting.
You’d be surprised by how clarifying dying can be. It puts everything into perspective.
I’m not going to say it makes you realize just how trivial any other grievances become, or how I’d learned to live life at its fullest because ‘you never know when you’d die’, or any other such pretentious excretions... Of course, you would have to actually come back from the dead yourself in order to realize just how full of it I would have needed to be in order to say such things.
A less enlightened man might want to spew out some self-satisfied dribble, thinking they believe that they’re actually enlightening you. Everyone knows they might die tomorrow, and that they need to live life at its fullest. But there are multiple ways of knowing this fact. Multiple facets to this matter.
Me? I will just keep things simple. I will highlight the core of the matter, and let you decide what to make of it.
What I learned was very simple. Dying hurts. It hurts a lot. No amount of times telling that to anyone could ever possibly suffice, and trying would be idiotic. It is only something you can comprehend if you've experienced it beforehand. Because after you did, you might realize that it transcends every meaning that you ever associated with the word ‘pain’.
Death is meant to be the kind of thing that purges your soul before it can move on to the next realm (as a bonus, however, it does wonders for your sanity… or lack thereof). And through the simply horrifying, mind-numbing pain of dying, the type that makes you clench your teeth until they crack, which makes you want to writhe, and twist, and thrash until you break your bones trying to bring whatever killed you down with you, which forced you to feel so completely, utterly, fundamentally… alone…
It’s not fun.
As for perspective? Life became extremely simplified. Either you live, or you die. There’s no “good way to die”, nothing worth dying over, no reason to risk your life or waste it. I’m not saying those who gave their lives to save loved ones were idiots, but the fact that someone would be left with no other option would still essentially be an ultimate loss. You saved those loved ones, but you were still fallen like prey to whatever predator had claimed you.
Animals have the best idea, since they face death on a daily basis and their fear is unspoiled by petty hopes and delusions. There’s a life beyond this one, but right now, you’re here. This isn’t a test, you’re not meant to fulfill some higher purpose, you’re not meant to die for someone else’s benefit or teachings. You’re meant to live this life, because every single moment matters. It doesn’t matter how you live it, just live it true to yourself.
I lived my life true to myself. I pursued my studies, traveled the world, went on adventures. I had fun, loved, hated… I had a full life, and a very long one at that. I made mistakes, I learned, I made friends, I had relationships, I loved and lost love, I made and lost friends. I did both well and wrong by others, I've tried to help more than I hurt, but in the end I did still harm and scar, as well as kill. Either intentionally, inadvertently, or in states of bloody rage and murder-high…
There was a substantial part of my life when I enjoyed the taking of lives. I liked it simply because I got to make my would-be murderers realize just what they were going to do to me. Make them realize that upon deciding to take a life, they relinquished their own to the laws of nature. Kill or be killed.
They admitted that fate could decide whether or not someone’s life could be taken away from them. And in doing so, they entered the food chain. Little did they know, however, just how much of a mouthful I really was.
How many adopted preconceptions such where they believed unfaulting gods were personally invested in their well-being. The look of shock on their faces upon their realizing otherwise, my celebration of being the one who survived, the predator instead of the prey… You have no idea how fundamentally fulfilling it felt. At least, while it lasted
As with all things however, that particular part of my life came to a close eventually. When the subject matter no longer had the same rush to it, and I was growing progressively bored with the monotony of a life lived too long. The repetition inherent in a century and a half... Bah, I'm ranting again.
It was just, this entire development was queer to me. After so long, if I hadn't rationalized what happened on a step-by-step of how I arrived in this outlandish new world- wait, that's a tautology. Argh, this is what I'm talking about! This is all so confusing...
...
So, it seemed that I somehow came across a couple of benevolent demigod rulers of a peaceful race, emphasis on peaceful. So peaceful, in fact, that rather than do the sensible thing and just kill the homicidal psychopath, they decided that just because he didn’t really have the chance to live peacefully before, then he deserved to at least be offered that chance.
I certainly wouldn’t have taken that chance. Still, I wasn’t about to refuse a gift hor… darn. I’ll have to figure out new metaphors.
One of the princesses apparently knows how it feels to lose a loved one, and what it can bring out of you. The other one knows what it feels like to be portrayed as a monster, and forced into becoming one. They both seem to be under the impression that there’s still something left of me worth saving. Personally, I’m not so certain of that.
I suppose we’ll find out. I’ve never actually had the chance to try being tame again.
It didn’t take much to wake me up. There was someone silently chatting outside the chamber I was in. Apparently Luna deactivated the language spell, because I couldn’t tell what they were saying anymore.
‘Great. This isn’t going to get annoying anytime soon…’
With a sigh, I focused on trying to replicate the language spell. I paid attention to the formula when the princess cast it, so now all I had to do was to stop being so horrible at every single school of magic besides necromancy for just a few minutes.
The ley commands came together unbelievably easily. Apparently this body worked quite differently, and far better than a human’s body at managing the foundation of magical commands. However, actually activating the nodes themselves proved far too difficult. I wasn’t even a quarter way through before a spot on my forehead (probably that horn that Luna let me see) started hurting like it was going to split. I supposed that this body was still too underdeveloped to cast anything too strong.
I had nothing better to do than to keep going, however I found out another unexpected detail. I fatigued. I could ignore the pain in my horn (damned new pain receivers…) but my performance only succeeded in diminishing. I stopped as soon as I figured I didn't find much appeal in the prospect of never being able to use magic again. I had plenty of other things to consider anyway.
'I should make a diagram.' I thought, resting my head under my hooves. 'Get a decent impression of just how outlandish these events are. I didn’t even consider the chances of actually coming across non-hostile creatures...' I looked around with my lack of eyes, trying to see my stubs where my hands used to be. 'No use trying to write. I could’ve tried writing with my blood on the walls, but that doesn’t seem like an option.'
My necromancy should’ve kept me from running out of blood any time soon. It did seem capable of halting the tranquilizer currently being pumped into me (to which I promptly tore off the band around my arm). Managing lesser pain, as well as more serious bodily harm, however, were going to be an issue, since I wouldn’t dare try modifying or reinforcing the respective wards. At least not yet.
“I’m bored.” I voiced out to no one in particular.
I got out of bed and became only slightly disoriented by my new range of motion. I was quadruped now. I always wondered how it would feel like. It was kind of weird…
For one thing, my head was bigger. For another, my back legs were all twisted at odd angles. Luckily this body came with a brand new pony brain as well, so it didn’t take too long to figure out the gist of its movement capabilities. After the initial getting used to, I started practicing my strides.
I couldn’t use magic, couldn’t see and couldn’t speak the local language. Fortunately, I could at least walk on my own.
I supposed the guards heard me clopping around on the marble floor because I heard the door opening.
”Var aehe! Jorho di avi?” One of the guards spoke as he and his colleague entered. I sighed and slumped my head.
“Sorry, boys. I have no idea what you’re saying.”
My speaking in my own odd language seemed to have given them the right idea…
“Jorho. Di. Avi. Dina?”
I palmed my face… Correction. Hoofed my face.
“No, saying it slower does not help.”
They just stood there.
“Luna did tell you I speak a different language, didn’t she?”
They finally seemed to have gotten the idea. One of them addressed the other, my guess would be, something within the lines of either “this guy seems to be talking a different language” or ”this kid must’ve hit his head or something”.
“Me awake. Tell boss.” I tried gesturing to get the idea across as well as I could. First laying on my arse in order to lift my front limbs off the ground and gesturing to the bed tentatively, opening my eye sockets. Then pointing a hoof at them then imitating a salute.
I wish I could see their reactions, because from the sounds of it, they did not like the sight of my empty eye sockets. One of them said a few quick words before rushing out of the room. He might’ve gone to find someone who can use a language spell, but it was more likely that he went to find someone with a tranquilizer syringe handy. The fact that the remaining guard was now situated in front of the doorway gave me reason to believe the latter.
Yeah, their plan wasn’t going to work for me. I decided I’d rather go look for Luna myself.
I walked over to the remaining guard and offered him a few moments of intense scrutiny, enjoying the nervousness I could smell off of him even though my eyes weren't even opened. I admit that the concept of an eyeless, malnourished child staring at me would be rather unsettling for me as well. When I rushed in through his legs, he barely had the presence of mind to stop me.
I managed to notice the opposite wall before I collided with it, having gotten accustomed to the noise of hooves on marble and the echoes of produced on the stone walls. Going by the draft, I guessed I was in a hallway, so either direction could turn out to be a dead end. I chose right, the guard’s shouting behind me actually helped me orientate.
I chanced another sight spell stump, and received a general idea of what was around me. As well as a further increase to my headache. There were a couple of closed doors at the end of the hallway ahead of me, evident by the odd distortion of their windows. From experience, I quickly figure that they might or might not have been locked. Behind me, the regular pony guard was gaining on me. I’d have to do something to lose him.
Distances were not easy to make out, nor anything too far away, but I did manage to make out an open door coming up to my left. The sound of talking and smell of some bitter aroma (which I would later understand to belong to coffee) coming from inside supported that realization.
I strafed in through the open doorway, then quickly slammed it closed and looked for a lock. None to be had. Luckily, I still had my necromantic wards offering a strength boost, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to hold the door closed on my own.
Yes, I had a strength boost. How did you expect I stopped that blade from slicing me in half, as well as afforded myself banter with Sir Buckethead? Any necromantic boost I could find, I enchanted myself with it. I was in the body of a malnourished child, but it was still better than a malnourished, half dried up adult. It wasn’t like I could focus on the dozens upon dozens of enchantments I had active on me at once, constantly, consistently, that were keeping my vital bodily functions going, beside my sight spell, poison resist, spirit sense, my control over however many minions I might have at any one time, as well as whatever death coil or focused bone reinforcement I might be activating.
There is such a difference between passive spells (wards) and active spells. I can’t have more than two active spells running at the same time, but I can hold any amount of passive enchantments that my mana pool can afford. There’s also the difference between my necromantic wards and my soul seals. Soul seals don’t need activating, and I could use those to activate my necromantic wards. I didn’t even need to bother actively refreshing the latter, or converting my mana into necromantic energy to feed said wards with. I kept them active for so long, it wasn’t hard figuring out how to keep them active even during my being unconscious, or (silenced) magically impaired.
Now that that critical piece of information is out of the way, let us use our stubby sight spell to study our surroundings.
I chose to ignore the throbbing pain I was feeling now, instead deciding to focus on the fact that I started to get the hang of this spell. I noted an infinitesimal improvement on it’s quality. It was still something, though.
There were five equines in the room, four in white robes and one oddly similar to the guard following me. This must be where the second guard went.
“Ner heika?” I heard him say, bewildered. I assumed it was their version of saying ‘The hell?’.
I offered my best disarming smile over the yelling of the other guard, and spoke casually, “Oh, don’t mind me. I was just passing through.”
Unfortunately, there wasn’t any other way out of the room. There was a window, but considering how impossibly tall this castle was, I wasn’t about to barter that I could survive the fall. I prefer erring on the safe side. Plus, the last time I had wings didn’t end well for me. I ended up with a really nasty rash… and a broken spine.(*)
I was working under pressure, trying to figure something out, as the guard inside the room finally gathered his thoughts and came forward to get me. I was cornered, I couldn’t use my magic and I couldn’t talk my way out of this. The only option I could think of was the window… No, I needed a different out. Let’s see…
<SLAM>
Direct confrontation wouldn’t be very advantageous for me, I figured. Perhaps I could use their numbers against them?
<SLAM>
I was already smiling, but stifled any changes to my composure. ‘This is going to be good.’
I listened carefully, tracing one guard’s position and the other’s rhythm.
<SLAM>
‘Just a little closer…’
<SLAM>
‘…Now!’
Right before the first guard was about to slam against the door again, I got out of the way, surprising the other one with my sudden movements. Moments later, the first slammed the door open, only for it to stop suddenly as it impacted with the second’s head.
Hard.
Oddly enough, I started hearing chirping sounds coming from the fallen guard, for whatever reason.
I couldn’t resist working through the pain and managing a sight spell. It was all worth it.
‘Ouch. That nose is going to need resetting.’
As an added bonus, I found an opening. As quickly as possible, I hopped off of the dazed guard’s head, making sure to put as much weight into his nose as possible, and jumped to where I saw the other surprised guard’s face, kindly offering him a haymaker.
Such a nice thing when you’re able to take your enemies by surprise. I imagine if the latter guard knew I was a lot stronger than I looked, he wouldn’t be unconscious right now.
I would have liked to regard my handywork, but I didn’t feel like straining my horn further, lest it fall off. It certainly felt like it was about to do just that.
As soon as I opened the doors at the end of the hallway, however, I ran straight into a pair of legs, and was again surprised to hear my head squeak upon impact.
I rubbed my forehead and regarded whoever decided to be in my way when I ran into them. Unsuccessfully, understandably. I really wished I could see again… Unfortunately, I never bothered to automate that particular type of passive spell because I always tended to adapt my sight spell in various ways, either situationally or with regards to general quality. I never expected a situation in which I could no longer be able to activate my scrying once it wore off.
...Much to my infinite regret.
“So, you must be the new prince.” I heard the figure in front of me say. It was male, that was all I could tell.
I didn’t take long to recover from my ensued confusion. “Nice language link. I see you decided to speak in my tongue instead of the other way around.”
“Yeah, well, I supposed I could afford the courtesy. What’s going on here?” he asked before addressing my pursuing guards, who had recovered by now.
I assumed what this new character said to the pursuers next was something within the same lines as what he asked me just now, and what followed afterwards were the guards’ one-sided retorts of what trouble I’ve been giving them. I only glared in their general direction, eye sockets opened, until the two shut up.
“I woke up and wanted to see the princess. One of them barred my way out of the room, so I slipped past. I suppose what happened next could be considered ‘resisting arrest’, as I ran away.”
“That so?” the figure in front of me asked. “Did resisting arrest include assault as well?”
“Only if you can call being clobbered by a child assault. The broken nose was the colleague’s doing. Otherwise, I haven’t touched them.”
A chuckle emanated from the new character, which I assumed by now was some sort of superior officer. Then, he turned to my keepers and spoke, calmly. “Beszinjhe.”
My guess was, that meant “Dismissed.”, because my guard only barely started objecting when the new guy repeated himself a bit more forcefully. That appeared to have done the trick.
So, this really was a superior officer. I found it odd, considering he sounded a bit young for a higher position in the army.
“You’ve got brass, kid. I’ll give you that. Come on, let’s get you that audience.” the helpful officer spoke as he levitated me onto his back.
“I can walk, you know.” I snapped back almost by reflex.
“But can you see where you’re going?” he humored me as we started walking.
“No, but I can follow the sound of your steps quite easily.”
“Tell you what. How about you let me avoid cross looks for letting a disabled kid risk hurting himself, and just enjoy the ride instead?”
“Fine.” I relented forlornly. “But only because I like piggy back rides.”
A few chuckles and further steps later, my mount decided to ask me, “What’s your name?”
“I’ll tell you as soon as I get one. Yours?”
“Shining Armor.” was his no-nonsense answer before continuing. ”You don’t have a name? Seriously?” he asked, befuddled.
I resisted the urge to call him out on his ridiculous name. Partly because I was still grateful for him being nice enough to get those guards off my back; partly for deciding to side with the malnourished kid rather than his own men; partly because it would’ve been petty and childish to make fun of his name, even for me; partly because I most certainly was not one to talk, not having a name to begin with; and finally, because for all I knew, Shining Armor was a completely acceptable and common name around these parts.
All that considered, I was now at odds with myself. On one hand, I wanted to make as many friends here as possible. On the other, however, I was not what you would generally describe as a ‘nice guy’.
I decided on pursuing the middle ground. Pragmatic abrasiveness.
“Nope,” was the beginning of my answer, deciding to forego explaining why I don’t have a name. I merely resorted to explaining that: ”I never bothered giving myself one until now. Though I’d rather not have a name at all, than have a name like Shining Armor.”
The poke was met with surprising lenience. “Yeah, it is a bit on the silly side, isn’t it? Oh well, what’re you gonna do.”
‘…Huh. He seems like a pretty decent guy.’
Shining hummed thoughtfully. “Not having a name isn’t something to just leave hanging. We should probably have the Princesses fix that once we find them. How ‘bout you think of a name you’d like for yourself?”
“You know, you’re a pretty nice guy,” I offered.
“Thanks,” was his earnest answer.
“When things do inevitably go south, I’ll try to kill you last,” I finished.
“…Wait, what?”
I thought about it. I did think about it before, make no mistake. There were plenty of names I’d thought to give myself. But I was still a bit cautious about offering myself that chance, even now. Still, I supposed that I could discuss my options with him, even if I specifically asked Shining Armor to not use any of them.
“Bal’goth the Destroyer?”
“Too violent.”
“Epsilon the Unmaker?”
“Too overkill.”
“Pirion Bloodmourne?”
“That just sounds gross.”
“And that’s all my ideas.”
“What a shame,” Shining answered sadly, although I felt a bit suspicious of his sincerity… “Where did you get those ideas, anyway?” he followed.
“…I had plenty of free time,” was my answer. I think I might’ve sounded a bit too somber that time.
“…Huh. Anyway,” he nervously redirected the conversation, ”why didn’t you want to have a name anyway?”
“I’d rather not say. Honestly, it’s a long story that you really wouldn’t like to hear anyway.” Not because I was concerned for him. I just didn't feel like wasting my breath.
“Okay then,” he relented, “fair enough. You don’t want to explain, that’s fine. What am I going to call you, then? I can’t exactly keep calling you ‘Kid’, now can I?”
“Why not?” I asked him honestly. He frowned awkwardly in response. Don’t ask me how. I just knew it.
“You sure you wouldn’t rather I called you Spider-Stallion or Cyberguard?” (**)
“As tempting as that may be, I’m afraid not,” I sighed, a gesture which Shining reciprocated.
We arrived at the end of another long hallway. This was the fourth one. Shining spoke something to someone, which then proceeded to open another set of doors. I managed to activate my scrying again, to find two gold-white meshes each at the side of a wide doorway. Beyond those doors, I could not make out a single. Bloody. Thing.
'Blasted Gods, I miss being able to see.'
It was only because of my being able to sense the two massive sources of magic beyond the doors that I could easily tell we’ve finally found the sisters. In comparison, at first I didn’t even notice Shining until I bumped into him, but after a while, I started being able to make out traces of quite the respectable amount of power being insulated under his outfit. (***)
He was twice as strong as I ever was, when it came to sheer power. And yet, he fell into the background as we approached the princesses. We were both very much like bugs. Like specks of dust. How were they so powerful now?!
'It seems Celestia is substantially stronger now. On a guess, it may be because it's currently daytime. It also seems that her power is amplified somehow through a synergy with her sister. Day and night, balancing one another in harmony... They really are demigods, aren't they?'
I did not like the feeling of such power close to me in the least. This was worse than anything I've ever felt. The elder dragon I faced that one time was nothing to this!
“How do you stand it?” I asked Shining.
“You get used to it,” was his aloof answer. He caught me off-guard, surprising me that he supposedly knew what I was talking about.
I eventually sensed a familiar pair of spells trying to get through my seals. I let them through, and found me approaching myself, riding on top of a white unicorn stallion with two-toned blue hair, dressed in light blue and purple armor.
So that was Shining Armor. I was rather disappointed by how un-shiny his armor was.
Luna and Celestia were each seated on either end of a long table. I seemed to have entered a Banqueting Area, most likely of the Royal variety, judging by the golden vase with rare-looking orchids in the middle of the table and the insanely large diamond chandelier overhead. The unreasonable decorations, coupled with the fact that the only thing in the room was the large table set in the middle, left little room for doubt.
“You’re awake early,” I could hear the younger royal sister say. “The doctors told us your sedatives were supposed to last you until later in the afternoon.”
“I’m not the type to let chemicals tell me what to do… Unless I take them on purpose. Anyway, what time is it now?” I inquired.
“We were just about to have lunch. Well, Celestia was about to have lunch. I was going to have a sandwich and a jug of coffee.”
She did not sound very happy.
“Why don’t you two join us?” the elder sibling inquired.
Shining Armor deposited me a seat away from Luna, then started backing away, denying the invitation. “Thanks, but I should probably get back to my post.”
Celestia didn’t seem intent on having any of that. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure the guards will be able to handle themselves well enough for a few minutes. Besides, you’re part of the family now. This concerns you as well.”
A part of the family? Is he related to them somehow? Oh well. Shining Armor decided to relent, and took a seat next to me. As he sat down, a servant approached with a couple of solid papers, bound together at one edge. She offered one to Shining then paused awkwardly in front of me.
I didn’t know what those paper objects represented , but the fact that the servant thought I didn’t want one when she offered them to everyone else made me want it.
I snatched away the elusive object of unknown make or purpose (it was called a menu) and blew a raspberry at the girl. To my surprise, I seemed to have succeeded in eliciting a giggle from Luna with that, and a playful, if somewhat reserved smile from the servant.
I was rather surprised, and frankly uncertain of what to make of the reactions. That is, until I recalled that the massively powerful diarchs were not, in fact, a danger to me…
I cleared my head before it went reeling too quickly, lest it unwind and get all tangled. I wasn’t ready to comprehend the concept quite yet. The best relationship I ever had with royalty was with the Sultan of Quel’Dir, which was only because I cured their bloody kingdom from a particularly virulent strain of plague… Of course, they decided to blame me for the plague’s creation a few days afterwards. (1)
To the other side of the table, Celestia cleared her throat tentatively and waved a hoof at the servant girl for her to come over. Once she obliged, the princess proceeded to whisper something in her ear suspiciously.
‘Conspiracy!’ I thought to myself indignantly before Luna offered to start conversation.
“So, how was your sleep?”
The sun princess finished ordering my undoubtedly treasonous ambush (conspiracy, I say!). Afterwards the servant went over and took Shining’s order, who had meanwhile taken my menu away and offered it back as well.
“Fine,” was my simple answer, as I was too busy regarding Celestia suspiciously through Luna’s eyes. She seemed to have noticed, and smiled at her younger sibling a little more warmly. Almost suspiciously warmly. ‘You know what you did…’
Luna merely did her best to move past my distracted answer, “I’m glad to hear it. I was worried because I noticed your dreams seemed a bit troubled, and I couldn’t get past your seals.”
“I allowed for conversations, not for others to invade my dreams. Besides the fact that I can’t exactly control what my mind generates subconsciously, which is usually of a personal nature, I can’t guarantee the safety of the invader.”
“Don’t worry. I know how to make my way around dreams.”
“Again, that is nothing short of invading one’s privacy,” I threw back, also throwing my arms in the air. “People can’t control what they dream.”
“Ponies,” Luna cut me off.
“…What?”
“You’re correct in your statement, but the common term used is ponies, not people. It’s a matter of etiquette which you’ll need to learn. Either way, I agree with you, but that doesn’t change the fact that…”
“Wait a moment. Ponies? What’s that supposed to mean? You can’t go replacing people with ponies! That’s like presuming that only ponies are people!”
“No it’s not, it-” the lunar princess attempted, only to be interrupted again. Unfortunately for her, I was not letting this one slide.
I got right back into the fray, “Yes it is! 'People' is meant to describe any individual, not just one species! Saying otherwise would be fundamentally wrong!”
“You’re being unreasonable!”
”Who’s being unreasonable? I’m not the one saying only humans are people! What are you, some kind of racist for species? A specist? You do realize I’m not actually a pony, right?”
“Come again?” Shining Armor asked from beside me.
“Not really a pony, also not really a child. Anyway,” I answered quickly before getting back on track, “I honestly have no idea what you were on about, correcting me like that. People dream. Even animals dream. I suppose that makes me sound a bit specist against animals too, but that’s not the point! You made it sound like you were trying to impose on me that you consider ponies, which are only one race, to be people exclusively!”
“That’s not what I meant! I… just...”
I waited patiently with a raised eyebrow. Celestia and Shining were apparently trying to find a balance between looking anxious, mirthful and surprised.
“I’m waiting,” I offered, further increasing the shifting I could hear coming from the other seat.
“Well, I… what I meant to say was… ugh… a little help, Tia?”
The alabaster alicorn seemed to have gone a bit paler, if it was at all possible. Apparently she didn’t anticipate this turn of events. Good.
“Well, I do suppose it does sound a bit racist...”
“You’re darn right it’s racist!”
She took my interruption patiently in stride. ”…I also imagine it can’t be very fair for the other species living within our border either. Spike, for instance.”
That actually made matters worse. I didn’t know why she was giving me more ammunition, but I was more than happy to be outraged as I was rightly supposed to be.
“What?! That’s incredibly unfair! It’s segregating minorities!”
“Calm down already!” Luna shouted.
I didn’t calm down.
“I will never calm down until this injustice is rectified! You can not squelch the voice of reason! You cannot expect such an outrage to go unpunished!”
They eventually gave up on trying to calm me down, as Luna decided to carry me out of the room. “Send our meals to my chambers,” she asked her older sibling as she walked out, sounding rather bored.
”I will gather the people! I will start a revolution if I have to march through every city in your kingdom and preach of equality, of freedom, of tolerance and most importantly, of the right to arm bears!”
“Don’t you mean bear arms?”
“Why would I want that? They’re already at a disadvantage! I can’t just spar against a poor, defenseless bear unless it's armed, let alone if I were armed instead! That would be just cruel!”
“Of course…”
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I so can't wait to see Discord show up just to see how they react to each other. Probably bond in some way to the horror of the others.
Man, the conversation between Necky, the Princesses, no Shining Armor was hilarious. Thanks for the chapter.
I have ALWAYS that bit of the "right arm bears"! I still want to go up to Alaska wearing that shirt of mine
Hilarious chapter! Waiting for more
I have a good feeling her plan will backfire.
I broke down at that.
Loving it hey. More please.
Also, that conversation about ponies vs. people had me in stitches.
I always hated how the ponies are racist toward other species. Pony this, pony that; it's supposed to be 'one'. I am my own being, same as you.
I'm rightly confusing myself. I hope you understand at least.
Well, that conversation took a strange turn at the end there, although it will be interesting to see how the language thing plays out in the long run.
Also, you forgot to put the footnote in the last chapter so there is just a lonely star in the text with nothing to connect it to.
6297021
Discord: I used to raise entire armies of skeletons just to see them tap dance. They were very good at it too, the bare bones make a very good click. Ah, good times, good times.
I tried to work that exact line into a presentation back in high-school. Still don't know why the teacher took exception to THAT part.
It was supposed to be about immigration, but in the end I turned it into a mish-mash of references few people understood, most of which had nothing to do with the topic.
The ending of this chapter made me really wonder about our little nameless necromancer's sanity...
Good work.
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That last part is what broke me, I was thoroughly amused throughout the entirety of the chapter but that last part's what made me crack and burst out laughing
6297140 Fixed. Thanks for pointing that out. I lost that bit of explanation between re-edits.
Something tells me that He'd get along fine with Pinkie.
An enjoyable chapter. Good job.
6297335 HAHA Awesome!!!
Oh god finally! I was waiting until he brought that up, I never understood that about the 'equish?' language. Saying pony/ponies instead of people is downright Darius xenophobic!
'Anypony is welcome' you say? Well that sucks for the griffons, changelings, diamond dogs, zebras, etc, etc.
Seriously, the royal sisters should do something about that! (or at least make Twilight do something about that, that seems to be their go-to tactic.)
Any and all possible racism aside, this was a fun chapter to read,
(even though the idea of an eyeless malnourshed child will now surely haunt my dreams.)
Keep the chapters coming man. You're doing great work!
~Valvatorez
Butt Stallion sounds like a name for an equestrian pornstar . . . . can that be made a thing?
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From now on our necromancer shall be known as Butt Stallion.
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Great ending there, good to see his sense of humor isn't dead.
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Those last lines make me want to make a quote box for my favorite story quotes. Would you be okay if I put them in there?
6299214 Do what you want. Do what feels right. I wouldn't go as far as saying this is favorite worthy yet, however. But thanks for the honor of being included in your coveted quote box. It means a lot
6298192 Your funeral.
"I will bathe in your blood!"
...You should run.
okay, this is picking up.
Ah~ good old buttstallion, what a mare.
Ps. I really hope that he finds out about the seal they placed on him soon, it's the one thing in this story that annoys me to the point where I almost want to stop reading.
You my good sir are an artist!
And I thank you for recreating one of my favorite stories on this website.
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6301853 Why? Luna doesn't wanna. Why do you want to abandon this sweet thing they have going?
I know it's a little annoying and a lot of unoriginal presumption, but this sort thing requires a buildup. One that should blow up in everyone's faces as spectacularly as possible.
a SJW pony necromancer
under the cares of Momma Luna
this is starting to get terrifying
6304643
Normally yes, the reason for those limiters are to prevent damage to the body. But taking into account that the Lich can regenerate his body at will, or subvert the damage by manipulating muscle/bone/ligament tolerances there are many workarounds available to Necromancy. Enhancing strength tends to fall in another school so outright increasing the power a limb is capable of might not be possible through necromancy, but maximizing what is already possible despite the consequences is just the sort of thing thing that Necromancy does.
-edit- Also pain is the Necromancers constant friend, causing pain is an important part of the Necromancy school, so knowing the taste of pain is key to casting it. A necromancer uses it to fuel his magic and must learn to mentally block all but what he needs.
Wow, he really flipped his lid at the end of the chapter there. In a completely hilarious way. I have no idea why he would go off to that extreme, maybe the child brain working against him. Now screwing with Shining Armor makes complete sense and was rather hilarious. Those guards should know that no matter whose at fault no one wins against a disabled child with their superior.
Very funny, and I really begin to like your necromancer.
6311967 I'm certain you gave those metaphors a lot of thought too.
Fantastic
6324438 My guess would be that skeleton strength is a different category from zombie strength. The latter would be unrestricted, raw and ultimately self destructive, while the former would be completely based on necromantic power. Sort of, the same thing that keeps specters and the like in one piece, and what makes some kinds of spirits (elemental or otherwise) stronger than others.
Necky most likely can tap into more necromantic power should he require it, but it can't be good for him physically. After all, unlike most liches, he's still alive.
Thanks for the feedback, however. It offered some pretty critical insight that even I was trying to put my finger on.
6364074 It would've been unavoidable that I failed to agree with certain methods from the original. I decided that there was no way of avoiding that, so all I could do was make my own take. Focus and build around the main theme I wanted to follow, try to reinforce what I found great about the original and add a few things that rang with me. One thing you have to do when making a creative work, is make it true to your own style. That is, if you want it to excel in any way at all.
That being said, you're right. You're entirely right. This is the kind of criticism that establishes a connection, and I heard what you were saying. I recognize my fault. I essentially butchered the original version. I might've not agreed with some of its flaws, but I didn't even consider that maybe I was making an injustice when I was taking it upon myself to take it apart and put it back together the way I wanted. I might've gotten a little carried away, and failed to take notice of certain courtesies I was trampling, instead relying on the excuse that "it was just a reinterpretation". To that respect, I now understand that what I do intend on making might possibly become as great as I'd hoped, but I won't be able to make up for what I did.
6364074 PS,
...dafuq
I can guarantee you that they're going to be close eventually. One of the things I wanted to do differently from the original (*), was for the relationship between the two main characters to develop with a little dignity. It's going to be a long and bumpy road for the both of them.
The way Luna adopted him in the original was... charming, but what I really wanted was to give both characters depth on the matter. A little bit of internal conflict and getting to know each other sufficiently, rather than have Luna bully the necromancer into being her son because reasons. Of course I'd keep their relationship, what are you, mad?!
(*) besides change the main character by effect of fixing the original description of the mental seal, which was nothing more than a bloody cure-all explanation. Just a means of sweeping a hundred fifty years of torment under the rug like it didn't matter worth shit.
6368573
Things I Liked.
- The Necromancer is a compelling character.
- The Princesses are NOT gods.
- The Necromancer being more Independent and following his ideals.
- The writing is improved with fewer errors.
Things I Don't Like.
- All knowing princesses annoy me for some reason. I Don't want the Necromancer to give into their plans so easily as last time. At least let it grow from a mentorship before she adopts him. Seems more natural.
What I Wish To See.
- Necromancer proving that their peace is false (like in the original but more on purpose) monster attacks, poisoning from nobles, dangers of their isolationism and narrow mindedness, etc.
- As a Necromancer he should be able to surpass physical limits which can damage the body but if he increases his bodies endurance and healing then his limits will increase allowing him to use more strength with less risk.
- A plan to escape. If he could hide his presence then he could make a new life the way he wants to without the princesses. Or at least let him explore the city. He never really did anything in the city in the original.
I leave you this line from Guren No Yumina, the theme song of Attack on Titan.
They'll try to control you
As if they own you
Will you let them steal your freedom?
At least that's what I think HE would think the princesses are doing.
6368238
Thank you for your comment, it's nice to see that some people actualy have some brain cells around here to notice creative criticism, that said, i cannot refute what you said in your comment, nor give you solace or say that it's okay because you are indeed correct. I find it extraordinary that you are willing to address your faults and i find that admirable.
6368573
You must realize that i didn't get entirely that far into the actually story itself and found myself being forced into reading about halfway through the chapter i comment on. That said, it is enjoyable to hear that you plan on preserving that portion of the original story. I do hope that you plan on making it awkward between them, like the original. I may give this one more try if that is true.
I randomly stumbled upon the original story and the premise of it seem interested but I make it a point to try to avoid a story when the author themselves haven't been to the website in over a year (21 months at the time of this writing) so it's clear to me the story is dead.
However just like the protagonist of this story you brought it back to life and you are doing your own take it the original despite the many criticism you may get for it and I just wanted to say that as a new reader to the story who is not blinded by expectation that stems from reading the original source I'm enjoying the story you are presenting here and I will be following it.
Oooh! I'm so happy somebody resurrected the old story! Re-imagining or not, I always thought the original premise was amazing. I just hope he still gets a zombie cat. That's too awesome not to add! Either way, you have my full backing and support. I'm anxious to see where this goes!
6401611 Sorry, there's no cat. But I did have plans for a spider, though...
6418165
If all ponies or people could sense that stuff all the time, then it would've been a lot harder for necromancers, or other creatures of great power, to survive. Luckily they couldn't sense that, unless they were specifically trained with that in mind. The Princesses, for one, did train, in order to be able to do their jobs. Same with their guards and centurions.
The Princesses also benefited of, as I've explained in the fourth chapter, an innate connection to the magical and spiritual aethers. Something which Necky himself needed to train in order to achieve.
Twilight didn't notice any red flags with Sombra's door because it was a trap, one made by an immensely talented wizard turned immortal monster of massive power. It would kind of work against his intentions to make a trap that could be easily detected. Furthermore, just because Twilight is overpowered (in all the good ways), doesn't mean she's anywhere near Luna's or even Celestia's level, for that matter.
She could, however, notice the amount of suppressed power Necky was packing. Something which no other pony could pick up on, unless they at least knew what magic even feels like. Even most unicorns didn't even unlock their full native potential, instead they focused on thriving in their own artistries more carelessly. All those commonfolk could pick up on would be, maybe, a pressure in the air, or maybe a chill in the air, but only when any amount of necromancy would be used. They just simply couldn't make anything of the massive surge of power that appeared right over their heads because it was a sense they didn't train.
You were right about one thing. Power is power. The Necromancer needed to first focalize that raw energy into necromantic energy (which I explained in a later chapter). Kind of why there are multiple "schools" of magic, and why some of them are even discriminated in the first place.
The Necromancer was focusing his abilities to pierce the boundaries of reality. Not only would such a feat require unimaginable power, but it would be EXTREMELY hard to miss for anyone who has the required senses (refer to the second paragraph of this overly long comment). One moment there was nothing, then there was a ripple throughout the magical aethers, at the center of which was a disturbing entity of dubious proclivity and massive power.
You should read the original, then. The Princesses took a veritable shit on him with how much of an open book he apparently was. You know, despite him kind of needing a poker face from time to time? And despite the fact that they're far more expressive than us. I actually had the common courtesy to have the thousands-years-old demigods of debatable ability (remember Celestia successfully orchestrated for the Mane 6 to meet and defeat Nightmare Moon in the first place) actually make the effort to figure him out first. If you paid attention, you might've picked up on the explanations that Celestia didn't immediately figure Necky out, only found things didn't add up. Luna figuring out the Necromancer's selective snapping at them was a wild guess which I deemed okay to let happen because I just wanted to move things along.
...What?
So, by explaining his origins, I explained his whole life? And here I was planning on developing on his old life. Oh well, suppose I don't need to do that anymore, since apparently nothing else happened during his 150 years since. I WAS STILL INTRODUCING HIM! I'm not even fully done doing that by chapter 7! Sit the fuck down.
Also, technically, Discord uses Chaos Fuel. Something which spawns from chaos. You know, the stuff he's trying to spread? Not arcane energy. Sombra funnels his arcane energy through the red crystal on his forehead before actually using it, otherwise he'd look a lot less equine. And regarding the old goat... I didn't bother to figure him out. Supposedly he has some relation to the cyclops that would war with the gryphons.
Thanks. It's not like I hadn't heard it a hundred times already.
This story has nothing to do with... whatever Kytra did. I stand to gamble that he didn't know what he was trying to do either, going by the fact that in the last chapter when his character was at a tipping point, all he did was have Chryssy bitch slap him, then Cadence take light of his predicament until he had another half-boiled breakdown.
Regarding your disappointment at him being found in the first place, this story isn't about the Living Lich blowing himself up repeatedly before he managed to get a hang of pony magic. It's about who he is, what he went through, discrimination, right and wrong, and surviving evil.
Most importantly, however, this story is about the relationship between these two characters that I'm switching focus between. One of them learning what true evil means, the other learning to let go. If you can't appreciate any of that, then there's no one forcing you to bear through this work before I even got to reach any of the stuff I still intend on doing. Don't assume I'm obliged to conform to your expectations on what my story's supposed to be like. I will listen through your advice for improvement, not your complaints with my choices.
6419779 I'm disappointed in you. You got a critical review, then you shit all over It.
That's not how you do these things, my friend.
He raises valid points, and honestly, It was a twist of fate that I even found this story again in my Feed, meanwhile, in the old story, I would never have missed a chapter update.
Quite simply, you goofed up. Sure, It's fun to read about Necromancers, even those whom's so far up shit creek they can't see the sun - This, however? It's not fun, and I would not recommend this story to anyone.
6425588 See, your comment was actually more useful. I got to figuring I failed to hook you in for long enough for you to get into my story. That's a fault I will admit. The last guy might've been trying to say the same thing in his own way, maybe, but he forgot about it halfway through and just indulged in making an entire circus act out of one flaw he didn't even get right, then went at length to explain the same thing I heard a hundred times already about how I failed you guys. Thanks, but I don't need to be reminded of that in every comment. I know it well enough on my own. I honestly don't look forward to every comment from now on ending with "but it's not as good as the original" or "but you should make it more like the original". Unfortunately, it's starting to dawn on me that it's a little melody that will haunt me for the rest of my miserable hobby.
Just because you're taking time out of your schedule to tear my freaking work apart basing on one flaw that again, turns out that, SURPRISE, it wasn't even a flaw, doesn't mean I'm obliged to thank you. I think I should still have the right to take it or leave it. The fact that I went out of my way to indulge on telling someone when he was wrong, either factually or otherwise, ON THE INTERNET where that's kind of a given, it shouldn't be a cause for disappointment. Did I take a dump on him? I'd stand to argue that I could've done much worse. If I would've gotten something useful out of his complaints, I'd have accepted it with open hands. But I didn't, because there was nothing useful to be found.
You might feel like the Necromancer doesn't really have his shit kicked in yet, but that's probably because I haven't even finished introducing the characters properly, so you'd actually have a reason to feel bad for him beforehand. Otherwise it would just be pointless violence and bullying, something which I generally have no preference for. I don't even like it when it's supposed to be funny for the secondary characters to go out of their way to be mean to the main one, even if it's playful. It's not funny, it's not even petty. It's in horrible taste, and even a little savage. If it stems from a well-founded rivalry, fine. Blow for blow and all that.
Seriously now, this isn't Naruto where it's fine for Sakura to beat the shit out of him and conveniently overlook his actual competence. Nor is it about a badass who the world comically has it in for them. If someone messes with him, then Necky will make it his life's goal to turn their world into a world of abject terror. Abject, and oftentimes comical, if dark, terror. Why? Because he has nothing better to do.
6426958 I don't even like Naruto :/
Honestly, everyone's different, but I'm a college student and when I have enough free time to read a fanfic, I'dd prefer if It wasn't... What's the word I'm looking for... Bland? No, I think "Dirty" would be It. The story lacks that certain... Polish, you know? The "I've revisioned this ten times" feel. It's hard to explain.
6427161 I only watched it a while ago, until it stopped advancing the plot.
Suppose that's about right. After all, I haven't gone over it that often after I wrote it. I may have scrapped a couple alphas and split the beta during the initial tidal wave of followers, but I didn't focus on refining what I did make that much. I'm still focusing on actually reaching at least some of the chapters I had planned out, so you guys can see what I'm trying to do here. So this story can actually start standing on its own legs, so it can move out of the shadow of expectation. Maybe after that.
6427277 Mayhap.
Or get a few pre-readers and/or editors.
6419779 Well I must have mixed up the stories then apparently. I based most of my opinions in comparison on that one. (it was at a time before I had an account on this site so I have forgotten the name.) The story was different as it was... well different and can't be really compared story wise. But character wise and setting wise it handled it better.
I do not care (as dumb as it sounds) about what the necromancer did or did not do when he went to another reality that somehow made him shine like a star. What I care about are how boring the princesses are presented and they both fill the mary sue trope perfectly (especially Celestia). Its important because you made a whole chapter in from Luna's perspective, you made her a main character (or at least a very important character to the story) a main character that is a mary sue... with a supporting cast of a mary sue too.
I haven't bothered to read past chapter 2 because of chapter 2. Because chapter 2 was a mess compared to chapter 1. Also the perspectives you gave through Luna destroyed it for me (hence why I haven't bothered to read anymore because it made me so damn frustrated)
... also... did you just quote yourself or someone else in your response... because that last quote isn't from me and I'm on the fence if I should feel insulted that you fabricated a flame in my name...
I think you should take a breather. Getting so upset by a negative review is not good, also trying to shove more of your story and naming characters I do not know in your explanations will not get me to want to read it anymore.
You also cherry picked of my reviews most negative parts and still refused to explain. Why is the Alicorns so infinatly stronger and can do stuff that in canon as proven they cannot do (or faked they can't). You haven't told me why you decided to make them into mary sues or why you decided to involve the princesses only to conveniently make his presence alright and accepted (even if Luna feel Celestia is wrong in this (and thus you created a good-cop bad-cop routine)). As said no conflict. His very nature is natural and he's got an aura strong and vile enough to curdle milk and the most pure and harmonic forces as said, no its alright you are free to go (to a greater or lesser degree).
The necromancer shouldn't need to prove his goodness or seek approval, he shouldn't be put into situations where he shows of his good nature against villains. His personality, his behavior, his moral codes, his 'special' talents and way of life is too different to ever be accepted as easily as he was. Mr. Necromancer is worse than NMM, discord, sombra and chrysalis and all other villains Tirek even has nothing on how 'Evil' the necromancer is in comparison. His boohoo past is only an explanation to why he became what he has become but no one becomes The necromancer because of a good and forgivable character.
Also, Sombra's horn is just a normal horn, not crystal, (its red yes but it is also grey at the moment of his defeat. Meaning its either a cantrip or an illusion or other effect brought on by the less than pure magic)You should also take note that he does not really exists, he was a mere shadow of his former self in both mind and body.
Discords magic is his own, he is the source of his own magic and not some ambient one. The same way that all ponies has magic, pegasi can't fly, earth ponies looses all their strength and plant growy powa' and well unicorns looses their ability to do magic. And all show signs of being exhaustion both mental and physical without it.
You don't need to respond in a comment but PM me instead if you wanna convince me. I don't want to know the story (that I wanna discover by reading) but I want explanations as to why you did as you have done, why everything is like it is. Why are the princesses perfect and near omnipotent and so god damn mary suey. Why did you go the less fun and restrictive way. Why did you choose to immidiatley involve the princesses and what not, why bring him so close to the thing that is his greatest inhibition. He's also a lich, undead. a walking corpse. A walking corpse that has lost its ability to do Necromancy (because apparently necromancy is on its own a separate magical force), the princesses have already sealed his magic, his magic, his necoromatic magic. Why did you do that. This are the kind of questions I want answered not what the fuck you are planning to do in future chapters and if you can't explain character concepts, world settings and all the small details that comes with changing established canon... then I won't read it because you simply do not have the grasp needed to make this story work, slapdash and in the moment ideas has no grounds in a fictional work if its not fleshed out properly.
6432020 I get what you're saying. The characters and stories are a mess, something I'm trying to clear up. I tried to make them simple in the beginning, then add to them to hint at their depth, but I suppose I might've rushed it. I probably should've delayed the introduction, evading the crappy mental synch trope and denying the obnoxious similarities with the original. Too little too late.
Celestia is a higher rank demigod. As an alicorn, it's kind of obvious she's going to be sue-ish, which is why she's going to be less an active character, and more a massive pseudo-rival for Necky. Whenever she tries to manipulate things, he's going to react aggressively more often than not. "May the best human non-royalty win."
Luna's not a Mary Sue. She's flawed in her perception and she does have a penchant for panicking. She has a big role to live up to, not made easy by her overly Mary Sue sister. I actually thought I managed to make her down-to-earth in chapters 4 and 5. Regardless, I'll see what I can do to fix this balance of royalty and person in the next chapter. Maybe have her act a little less uptight, since flaws in her thinking don't seem to be working for you.
You mean like this? Sorry if I insulted you, but I didn't fabricate anything. It's there alright. In the paragraph where you go on your second point. Near the end.
Sombra's horn is up to fan canon. For all we know, he could've originally been a normal crystal pony who craved magical power, or some rare breed that grew horns magically, but were locked away underneath the Crystal Kingdom because reasons of debatable ethics.
...There's way too much to cover here. I'll reply again once I'm not as busy, and once I have the stomach to read through the rest of your comment.