I´m a highschooler.I wrote lots of stories throught my short life and I´m finally ready to share them.
What happened while the princesses were trapped there?
Contains major headcanon so BEWARE
Rated T just in case I mess something up
Tell me if I should add some other tag
Artwork for the cover: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Not-another-1000-years-467961822
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This was a fun read, I loved reading the princesses' interactions. Well done!
thanks
You've got the spelling mostly down. Your big problem is with commas and periods.
A period marks the end of a sentence. Not every sentence ends with a period! Commas are used to transition between ideas within a sentence, in cases where just having two sentences would be awkward.
"Commas also end sentences when the move from a quote to an action outside the quote," Masterweaver said. "But not all the time!" he added. "Only when the sentence would normally end in a period, and only when the action that follows describes how the quote is said."
6004797 thanks, I´ll have that in mind
Let me just say, this is a good story! There are grammar errors, as Masterweaver pointed out, but they're pretty much the only problem. The only other thing I would reccomend is perhaps taking out Luna's Olde English. There are two reasons behind this: firstly, at this point in the show, Luna has pretty much stopped speaking this way. The second reason is that Olde English is difficult even for native English speakers to understand and use; I wouldn't attempt to write Luna's dialogue this way to until you know the modern language better. Honestly, I wouldn't try it to begin with, but if you want to keep it, there are plenty of people here (including myself) who would be happy to give you a few tips.
6030799 thanks.yeah, I´m never writing that language again it is that hard.thanks,Briarpelt