After the events of the Grand Galloping Gala Discord ends up making a new friend.
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- Member Since 5th Dec, 2012
- offline last seen 12 hours ago
LyraAlluse
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LyraAlluse
Joined 5th Dec, 2012 ·
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Aww this is a cute story, I like it.
6002485 Thank you very much. I am glad that you enjoyed it. XD
Okay, Pinkie uses "cbm" as an abbreviation. Fine, she's Pinkie, that's totally a normal thing to say. Although it should still probably be capitalized.
So Discord just runs with it, because, hey, Discord. Sure.
But in the narration? That's just distracting.
6003424 Do you think I should just spell out the whole thing when Discord says it? I wasn't really sure how to handle that since it is a lot to say in a sentence. :L So I just ran with abbreviating it.
6003438
For the dialog, it's more a question of how the characters would speak. Would they sound out the letters every time? Would they say all the words? Or would they find a shorter phrase that means the same thing?
My gut says that Pinkie would stick with saying all the letters of her acronym, while Discord would use shorter phrases (e.g., "Do you really expect me to believe that you can use chaos magic?"). The whole expression "chaos-based magic" is just a bit unwieldy - more like something Twilight Sparkle would say out of a penchant for precise classification.
In the narration, also, shorter phrases will usually work. The exact kind of magic Pinkie and Discord are discussing has already been established. Doesn't really need to be elaborated every time.
6003503 Okay, thank you for the suggestion. I did some editing and tried to change it up so CBM wasn't used as much. ^-^ Thank you for the great tips.
Nice "tell" story. Personally, I think there are plenty of "tell" stories that are good.
But for some reason, there are more clamor for "show" stories. And I guess that reason is that most fans are addicted to the "feels" that comes with "showing" a story.
But hey, if you want a quite, peaceful, short read, a "tell" story (like this one) is nice.
Possible corrections:
1. I simply said it would be nice to have someone to discuss chaos based magic with with.
6004654 Oh thank you for the suggestion. I will make that edit. I am happy that you enjoyed the story. To be honest, it was a random crack idea I had and I didn't think anyone would like it. lol But I am glad that a lot of people seem to be enjoying it.
This feels like a plot device, but I guess I can roll with it.
Yeah, that definitely sounds like Pinkie.
9237993 Thank you for taking the time to read my story and leave a comment. :) I hope that you have a nice day.