hollow
Joined 21st May, 2015 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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good first chapter, also this story is definitely getting a thumbs up
good 2nd chapter, needs some grammar and spelling revision though, I'd be glad to do it.
You're not giving anything away in description, but you're also not giving anyone a reason to read it.
6031984 yeah I'm not great at descriptions or titles....
6031539 Thank you.
6031535 Thank you so very much!
That was so cute and romantic! I love sappy stories!
6033837 Thank you for your kind words :)
I don't know why, either that flutters is my favorite, or that this is a really good fic, but I love this!!
6035074 Thank you
I enjoyed reading this so far. However, some mistakes you've made could be affecting views. If you don't mind, let me offer you some grammar/spelling advice:
.
Insert comma after, "like".
Should be its own paragraph; also, "pass" should be, "past"
Should be its own paragraph; insert commas after, " then", "proceeded", and " yelled".
Now that I think about it, I should just PM these to you. Do you mind? I hope you don't feel I'm bashing your story. It is splendid, but to benefit you, I can offer help. If you want it, of course.
6038021 Thanks for pointing those out. And I wouldn't mind if you PM me. I'll go fix those now.
Dear God it's too cute.
N'aww, Fluttershy is so cute ^_^
The nuzzling is just so cute ^_^
Fluttershy is my most favorite pony
It warms my heart to see Fluttershy so happy
I don't normally read M rated but this is good.
Why am I the second commenter on this chapter? this needs more.
Just for future ref, new paragraph when another person speaks. huge blocks of words like in here
That's unacceptable. You should fix it if you get a chance to.
Not bad.
Always a blow job in these storys.
Honestly, this story is amazing. I'm really surprised that it doesn't have lots of likes. It has only a few errors. It's a little rushed and it could be longer, but I like it.