• Member Since 5th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Autocharth


Compulsive writer of crossovers

T
Source

Dark days have begun to cloud the great kingdom of Equestria. Towering bipedal creatures with leonine faces and skin like stone have been seen attacking its towns, striking without warning before vanishing. Trusting in her student and her friends, Princess Celestia has called upon the Bearers of Harmony to seek out these intruders and discover their intentions.

Twilight seems to be having her own problems at the moment, however. Shadowy nightmares plague her every night. Dreams of dark betrayals, fel deals with fiery harbingers, and whispers of promises of true power. In her dreams lies a world of war and violence, a place of alliances and hordes battling for supremacy. Worse still...in the back of her mind, a voice haunts her with whispers of a warning, a threat.

"You are not prepared!"


Cover art belongs to 0Riane0
Featured 24th May, cool. Glad people are liking it.
Pre-read and edited by Nealend86, Web of Hope, xbox432 and Aurucite, with many, many thanks for the fine job they're doing!

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 150 )

Oh hell yes. I haven't seen a good WoW crossover since World of Ponycraft ages ago.

6011759
You Australians and your opposite times.

I was a big fan of Justice Itself, so I can't wait to see what you'll do with this. I'm an Illidan fanboy through and through.


6012061

Might I suggest Rebirth of the Damned? You could probably find some good ones in the Warcraft or Game Crossover groups, too.

You, Mr Mogu, are about to have a Very bad day.

I am hooked! Played WoW for couple of years.

6012603 ...Australia? You know, a country that doesn't exist on the northern hemisphere? Not that extreme, mate. We have the jumpy animals and such, you'd be surprised at how much we exist.

edit: Well, good so far and probably will get better.

6012629
Jumpy animals and horrible poisonous things.

A interesting start. I have never played WoW or it's related games. Nor do I know anything about that worlds lore. Will I need to start researching in order to understand this story?

6012977 Australia is damn terrifying yo. Aussies are like 20% braver than the rest of us just by living there.

Glad to be helping you out on another story Auto, I can't wait to see what you have in store for us. Also, you missed this: :twilightsmile: :P

*what you linked, what - what you liked, what

Found though the feature box, May 24th. I am intrigued and shall read this methinks.

*looks at coverart...*
fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/101/0/0/stormrage__he_s_a_pony_again__by_0riane0-d61am6j.png
hmmmmm? (is that discords skull in the bottom beneath the hoove?)
dl.bizhi.sogou.com/images/2012/04/28/224406.jpg
nope cant see whats its supposed to look like


ITS FUCKING ILLIDAN!!!!

The whole 'rotten tomatoes' scene went on for too long.

Shan Quan-ti, noble Mogu captain of the Shan’ze clan, drew his hand back and idly dusted his knuckle. His manner was almost relaxed, until you looked in his eyes and saw the fury peering from beneath a heavy brow of dark blue.

s2.quickmeme.com/img/7f/7fa6b0be9d5614e6e8aa57089f47c718ec462a462188bb1b058a1456cfd02d12.jpg
Liked and Favorited, looking forward to see where this story is gonna go!

Hmm, this should be interesting. If it's even half as meaty as Justice Itself, I'll have some good reading to look forward too.

Gota say the first chapter has me hooked. Frankly i'd love to see the Horde team up with equestria. Thrall and Celestia would be a nasty combo.

What time/expantion is this set in for WoW? So we have a timeframe of events to tie it into.

I'm loving the story so far, but I have to say... this is NOT a comedy. Well, it may be a Grecian comedy, but this is not a story that people read because they are looking for laughs.

I loved your other, recently completed story "Justice Itself" too. But it's marked the same. It's neither a comedy nor a romance, but it has both tags. Sure there's a funny moment or two, and a relationship forms between two of the characters, but those are not what the story was about.

I'm sure that this story will have a plot twist somewhere in it, but that does not justify a "Random" tag. And I've already seen a few moments of every day life, but there is not a "slice of life" tag, nor should there be. Twilight's having nightmares and her life is in danger, but there is no "Dark" tag. Again, this is correct. So why is there a comedy tag for the odd joke here and there?

The heart of this story looks to be an adventure, and it's shaping up to be a serious and awesome one too. I just feel that the comedy tag miss-advertises it.

Black water stormed beneath her

Wouldn't 'violently churned' be a better word to use? I had to read that sentence three times because I didn't initially understand what you were trying to convey by using 'stormed'.


You don't need to capitalise every instance of 'Dragon'.


“Morning Twilight!”

Normally you'd put a comma before and after names, such as the comma you'd need to put here. I don't know how entirely accurate that rule is, though...


“Come on Twilight, that’s not funny! Last time I was sick for a week, and I can eat pretty much anything.”

I want to know what happened :rainbowlaugh:


all its shapes and forms,but not ‘darling’.

Missing a space there.


without punch anď cake

That mark looks like a rogue apostrophe.


wòrd

Another one of those little marks above the letters.


“I”m sorry, Spike

Replace closing quotation marks with apostrophe.


“You panicked and dropped me!” The Dragon corrected her with a scowl.

Don't need the capitals here.


nervousness in her voice..

Extra full-stop at the end there.


“Listen, you wouldn’t get it. It’s a biped thing. Besides, everyone I know has hooves!” he explained.

.

“Come on, I wanna meet the plot hooks! Come ooooooooooon!” whined Pinkie, grabbing Twilight and dragging her towards the door.

What's that hyphen doing between those two sentences?


Ahem; The unknown creature

It's not necessary to have a capital after a semi-colon.


Zhiyuan

That name bears a striking resemblance to the name of the character, Zi Yuan, that Michelle Yeoh played in the third 'The Mummy' movie.


When I read "You are not prepared" I imagined The Face of Boe from Doctor Who saying it, from his scene where he said "You are not alone".

Good story. Looking forward to more.

6014565
The Mogu are only really active during a certain expansion.

6015142 it's Been so many years sense I played last. Aladdin real life greater than raid time.

6015142 it's Been so many years sense I played last. Alass real life greater than raid time.

I should proberly play world of Warcraft if I'm ever going to get the plot and names.

6012061 Thanks! I hope this one will continue to scratch that itch then.

6012151 Your confidence warms the blackened lump that is my heart. And yeah, who doesn't love Illidan? Aside Tyradne, obviously (oooh, low blow).

6012244 At least he doesn't know it...which might be a bad thing? Well, it is for him.

6012280 Glad you're into this story at least, and hopefully able to follow even if you've missed some stuff.

6012746 Thanks mate, much appreciated.

6013170 Cheers.

6013852 I won't lie, it will be easier, that's for sure, but since I'll mostly be doing things from the perspective of the ponies, they'll be learning about Azeroth. This will hopefully allow both those who only know barely what WoW is to get an idea of the world, and give WoW players / those familiar with its setting a new perspective on what they already know to keep them interested. That said, Wowpedia or the TVtropes page might be useful if you just want to find things out yourself.

6013940 Always happy to have you on board, but I must point out; that's something you missed, you naughty editor. Tut tut, no gruel for you tonight! Muwhahahaha!

6013997 I hope you'll enjoy it, and thanks for mentioning that, I had no idea until I saw your comment and as I type this, its the 3rd highest on there. Which is awesome.

6014119 Really?! I had no idea!

6014323 I don't think it did. It was intended to set a few things into place for later use, which granted you can't be expected to know, but it also served to draw the main characters together in a way that would hopefully be natural and fluid. I think it went as long as I needed it to go, giving each of the character some room to make themselves known and working towards a point which would make it easy for me to have them all be together to go to Canterlot without having to gather them just for that.
If you have counter points, feel free to share them, I'm always open to criticism or thoughts on what might have been wrong.

6014446 thanks! I hope the story will go somewhere you can enjoy

6014521 oh, it'll definitely be at least half as meaty, if not just as much. I do love meat after all.

6014565 Now why would Equestria get buddy buddy with the world's biggest dickbag? I mean Garrosh, obviously. I this is set in MoP, as the 'Mists' in the title was meant to convey. I tend to prefer Alliance over Horde but I'll try to be balanced and fair to both factions.

Except where the Forsaken are concerned. They and their Bitch-Queen can go to hell.

...I don't like the Forsaken.

6014855 You know what? You're right. I usually just go scatter fire with some tags because i get uncertain as to how much of each is needed for that tag, and wait for someone to suggest it doesn't fit before removing it , or until I stop and think to decide I was being foolish. Thank you for pointing it out and providing a good explanation for why, it is appreciated vastly.

6015104 Thanks picking up those, I shall be whipping my editors later for their failure. To address one of them: I'm going with capitalising races (which I may change depending on feedback and further thought), but not animals, and as far as I'm concerned Dragons are as much deserving of that as any other race.
I have also not watched the third Mummy movie in....forever, I think, if I ever did. That series has always been weird for me simply because, well, I'm Australian so when I see 'Mummy' I think parental title, which makes it all very odd.
Cheers and thanks again, I appreciate you pointing those out for me.

6015319 That or head over to Wowpedia or the TVtropes page and have a poke aorund, they can be helpful, especially TVtropes' character page.

6015488

To address one of them: I'm going with capitalising races (which I may change depending on feedback and further thought)

Well you're not wrong for capitalising 'Dragon' and other races, because their names—minotaurs, dragons etc—are nouns, which are naming words, so it's still correct whether you do or don't.

My point being is it's not completely necessary; it sticks out like a massive fucking sore thumb, but I personally find it to be rather distracting :twilightblush:

And we're not far apart; I'm in NZ :raritywink:

Uh, small question, but in the story summary you described the mogu as lionel. Did you maybe mean 'leonine', as in possessing traits of a lion?

6015742 In fact I did! Thank you for catching that, silly me.

6015656 I shall continue to consider the issue, and we'll see what happens. Cheers. [Insert obligatory derogatory mockery implying New Zealenders do things to sheep]

6015772 (returns the jest with a joke about how the Australians are the sheep shaggers)

No but really.

A kiwi sees an aussie walking down the road with a sheep under each arm. The kiwi says; "Oi mate, ya sheerin'?"

Aussie replies; "Nah mate, they're both mine."

No but seriously, we invented pavlova :rainbowdetermined2:

1: I don't know how anyone can think the Horde and the Equestrians would work well. At least the Blood Elves have the dark undertone that let them fit in with the Horde - the noble bright Equestrians are an obvious Alliance fit.

2: Illidan is awful. And with the Demon Hunters scrolls Alliance players can find in Cataclysm, we don't even need him anymore to have a Demon Hunter class.

Illidan is awful because his story revolves around him being a massive douchebag to everyone, and for some reason expecting everyone to be okay with it. He hasn't grown as a character across any of the books, and his minor growth in the Frozen Throne expansion got drowned out by his blithering insanity in Burning Crusade. It isn't going to stop me from reading this story, but Illidan as a character is... one I hope Blizzard doesn't bring back, despite his popularity. It'd be almost as back as bringing Arthas back from the Abyss. Sadly, #3 here is an out for Blizzard;

3: Did Twilight possessed by Illidan, or summon him from the void? She's a powerful spell caster, so I imagine if anyone Equestrian side could summon a demon back from the Nether, it would be her.

6015779 Let's not turn this into an argument about Australia versus New Zealend. After all, we think we made it first, and in the end, we can both enjoy its deliciousness.

6015791 Since your comment isn't apparently linking to another, I'll assume this is directed at me.
A) I agree, Equestria has no place with the Horde.
B) I do think there are times when he was badly written and he's not my super duper favourite or anything, but I find him interesting nonetheless. His insanity in Burning Cruade was... well, it was Blizzard at its worse in terms of writing.
C) ...are you actually asking me to tell you the future contents of the story, what happens and how? Sorry mate, you'll have to read to find out the answer to that question.

This story's premise is great. Perfect first chapter for a MLP/Warcraft crossover. Thumbed up and favorited !

I'd recommend to add the "Dark" tag, though.

I could totally see the ponys as a "Seed race" created by the Titans.
The seasons and the weather of Equestria is regulated and it seams each pony race has a higher purpose.

6015319 Go to Nobbel87's YouTube channel. He has tons of easy to follow lore videos that are pretty awesome. For first-timers like you, I would recommend this one:

Again, I would encourage you to check out his channel if you're still lost (After all, that video was VERY abridged).

6016280 6015319 Nobbel is great, I love his videos. But then I'm a total lore nerd.

6015806
My response is more in general, since I assume some people read the comments. But yeah...

B) Fair enough. Honestly, I think he was crazy since they introduced him in Reign of Chaos. I mean, he listened to the dead dude who told him to eat the evil skull. And then acted all indignant when the nature loving Elves told him to GTFO.

C) Eh, I was more speculating the two possible roads here. If I had to bet, the way it was set up I'm guessing possession, but heres hoping for summoning! Because Illidan was at least portrayed as a competent spell caster, and having someone on Twilight's level would be interesting.

So, Twily is Illypants or vice versa?

Sounds good!

6016326 I tend to assume a comment made on a story of mine, when not linking to another comment there, is directed at me but fair enough.

2) Well, they introduced him after he had been in solitary confinement for about 1000 years (or 10,000 years, one of the two). Of course he was kinda of crazy by that point. He wasn't the smartest cookie before that, but I can understand his reasons even if I disagree with them. I think his main problem was that he felt he was doing questionable things for the sake of his people, both in the War of the Ancients and later, and they never saw that whatever his methods, he had only meant to help. Pride and rage blinded him to his own actions and how far he was going.
3) Illidan and Twilight will still be talking and conversing on magic, whatever course it goes, believe me.

6016489 (typing on a phone now, let's see how this goes...)

Illidan always struck me as doing things for himself first and second, tyrande third, his brother fourth, and then his people sixth. He does it for himself again at number five.

Illidan an was an inherently selfish character that was pretty unrepentant about it. He had a few moments where he accepted not getting tyrande, but then burning crusade. He could've cured/given a font of power to the blood elves, but didn't.

The reasoning he gave to his brother was 'for the people' but let's be honest here, Illidan was the one who did not want to lose the power given by the well of eternity.

The only thing that stopped Illidan from staying on team legion was his selfish attempts to win over his brothers lover.

That's all Imo, at least.

Bleah, too many dreams and visions. Those substitute for good storytelling far too often. They don't even make sense.

If something is trying to warn them, why not EXPLAIN EVERYTHING CLEARLY!

If the bad guy is teasing them, why bother giving any useful information at all?

Indeed I am not prepared... to put myself through another painful crossover.

6016858 I haven't read the War of the Ancients books in a bit (and really, I should reread them for this since it was then that I came up with the idea) but selfish he might be, he can still be interesting and he can still learn to be better than that. Burning Crusade was just Blizzard being Blizzard in the worst way it can be with story of 'lol he's super evil now' with him going straight off the deep-end. I think most people just find him cool, and don't care about the rest.

6016882 Eh, if you don't want to read it, fair enough, but I do think you need to expand your imagination if you literally can't think of reason to justify either of those events.The setting in which a vision or dream is being sent could have rules that limit it, because magic, and its the only method by which someone can send a message. That took me literally the time it took to type that to come up with it, and in context, it can make sense. For the villain sending it? Villains are frequently gloaters, or they could just be insane, or overconfident (well, that's covered under gloating). It could even be part of a plan in which they don't want it obvious they're doing the sending, they just want the hero to do certain things which they think these visions/dreams of danger will make them do. Those were also reasons I came up with easily. Context is important. If you remove the context, of course things don't make sense; you've removed the structure it was made for.
They don't replace storytelling, good or not, they are instead part of the story.

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