I'm afraid. I'm alone.
These are the only thoughts I could think of as I found myself in a dark forest after a lightning strike. I have no Idea how, or why I am here. But one thing is certain, my parents are not here and I should have listened to them when they told me not to speak to strangers.
At least there are no monsters here...
*Grrrrrrrrr*
MOMMY!
The story of an unfortunate boy who finds himself in an unknown world. With no parents or siblings to guide him, the boy has to face dangers by himself. He will have to grow up fast and learn what it means to be a survivor, even if he doesn't always like to do what has to be done.
A story of how a lone boy survives the horrors of the Everfree with his own body and clothes to call his own. Wait, scratch that, only his clothes. Now, let's see how he handles his new powers.
*Facepalm*
Forgot to mention ... This is a Displaced story.
*Double Facepalm*
I really should have mentioned it here in the description, but it's a spoiler, and only comes into effect during the fourth chapter: This story, plays out in the same universe as the Displaced story, "The Flames of a Phoenix" written by FrostTheWolf who was nice enough to let me use the same world for Caesar.
Great job!
This story was so good I forgot to take a sip of my wine!... never mind.
It actually seems pretty good so far- I'll keep an eye on this one.
Not bad. It could use a bit of work on sentence structure, and the protagonist does seem a bit too smart and mature for even an especially smart and mature nine year old, but nothing too bad. I'll see where you take this. I'm interested in seeing what reason the mysterious lady had for sending him to Equestria as a pikaperson.
Can't wait for it to continue.
It strains belief a bit that the main character is only nine years old, but his situation will mean he'll have to become significantly more observant. That's not mutually exclusive with being nine, but a nine year old civilian raised in a comfortable non-woods environment would go through a transition period. I felt that the attempt made here was decent; where he was unobservant crying for hours on end until he had no more tears to shed, and only then started to notice things.
I'm rather curious if he will go further changes, and exactly how much time he'll spend alone before being discovered. His cloths will eventually fall apart after awhile, being no better than rags. And hygiene will also be an issue after a bit too.
MOAR!!
It feels like an older version of him his telling a story instead of the kids PoV
6014334 ditto
6015889 He was clothed in yellow clothes and bought a pair of Pikachu ears.
ok, this is awesome! keep up the amazing work!
This seems to be going very well.
Only thing I want to point out is that you don't need to enlarge the move names. It's slightly distracting in my opinion. Keep the color change though. Keep it the way it is if you want to, you don't really need to listen to me.
You have my full and undivided attention. Please continue.
Great so far just found one error:
Error(s) from Chapter 2:
Awesome~
6033160
6027378
6020804
6020551
Thanks. I really like to see people appreciate my work.
I like it so far.
Only wondering why you have only one character tag. Are you going to add others, as the story progresses? Zecora for example?
6059092 Yes, I'm going to add them as the story progresses. Also, the reason I have yet to add Zecora is because I'm currently not sure how much of "screen time" she will have and how important she will be in this story. But that will of course change and I might, or might not add her tag.
6059137
I can understand that. Heck, in my latest story, the same happened to me! Didn't plan a big part for Sweetie Belle, but somehow she became a big part herself, with her reactions in my story! This completely changed or at least delayed the way the story was bound to turn out!
Anyway, I'm thrilled to see how things will play out.
6059160 Heh, reminds me of what happened to the CMC in my other story "Hooves of ice". I had no intention to involve them at first. But during a crosover with FrostTheWolf he made them appear, and then stuff just escalated from there. Now they are a major part of the whole.
I see this and think:
6078191 I really like how I get to see so much awesome content ever since I began visiting Fimfiction.net
6078329
I am very much enjoying this. Can't wait for more.
A mothers loss RIGHT IN THE FEELS
oh my god . . . HE'S SO F-ING CUTE
MAOR!!!!!
Hmm. Interesting story, I'll be tracking this. How old is he though? The prologue made it sound like he was very young but the monologue here suggests he's older.
Never mind, I guess I wasn't paying attention when you said he was 9.
6085295 Physically he is 9 years old. Mentally... I have no idea.
A insanly smart bundle of cute joined ranks with the Displaced? Me gusta mucho! I am eager to see this will play out.
6085398 way to keep the data of the MC dude cX
With how the following words after that are, i suggest it be "I'd rather"
As nothing is really suggesting something happens with the wording in the rest of the sentence, it should only be "I got myself ready to sleep"
Its a U, not a u in the middle of a sentence with nothing suggesting it is named or the start of the sentence with how it is worded
Not completely sure if your saying it was definitely different, but if your not suggesting that, it should be "as if it was all different."
Not sure if this is grammatically correct or not, but i have a weird OCD feeling about it.
There should not be a .
It should be Thunder Wave because it is named
I think it should be "that sudden revelation,"
i should I
I think it should be "idea out,"
I think it should be "boost in speed,"
Also i am a grammar nazi that points out mistakes in stories he finds interesting if you couldn't tell
This is going to be a good story, I can tell.
6096313 Thank you.
As much as I want to read your other stories, this one has my attention now.
Given the MC's new diet, does that mean he's going to learn Bad Breath(against Everfree forest monsters anyway)?
6144967 To answer your question: Caesar is able to use any and all moves a Pikachu can learn/have/use without cheating. (Or according to the website I use to look up Pokémon moves anyway.)
Also, I have already written the next chapter, but things have gone south both for me and one of my pre-readers lately. And my second one hasn't answered me back yet. It's possible I might resort to trying to do it all myself and upload it without having anyone else having a look at it to detect anything I miss.
Phoenix
Interesting story
Everyone must be in a different timezone the me it 4:43 A.M.
Do not worry?
6150156 Thanks for pointing it out.
6151780
you're welcome!
I am loving this story!!!! MOAR!!!!!
6163786
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131226194804/mlpfanart/images/c/cb/Button_Mash-_Mmmm..._Juice._by_Lahirien.png
6145293 errors i pointed out are still there
6091238
i also look for errors in this story so consider me grammar fixer in the comments i guess
if you want to go with this you should put a so between were amazing or if you don't, just after amazing make that finish the sentence and have the other words be a new one
make the . a ,
strange wording here, may want to add food before craving
add I before made and possibly a , after bushes
add a , after edible
not sure about ,
should be wolves
unsure about , again
might need a , after it
might need a , after up as well
might need a , after case as well again
UGH SO MANY ERRORS
should be hungrier
i think there should be a , after problem and however
should be a , after forest
should be a I after how
not sure if there should be a , after circumstances
replace any and all with every one
should be rarer
wat. a should not be there
pretty sure there should be a , after discomfort
there is no indication that she said this
THANK GOD SOMEONE SPELLED IT RIGHT
also not sure about most being there
i don't think it should continue on after home
might need a , after mystery
might need a , after harm
should be a , after out
should be a , after curiosity
HOLY FUCK SO MANY ERRORS
also how do you pronounce Caesar's name?
see-zer or kigh-zar?
seriously though, your reader sucks
6187171 Ah, sorry, seems I forgot to fix them. I'll get them, don't worry. Just maybe not right now.
A little bit rushed here and there, but....................... ITS AWEOSME!!!! Defiantly going fav this story :D
But damn it, another story I can't wait for chapters.
ERRORERRORERROR: WA A A A ANT MR
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