Well, it could always be worse...
Within the daunting walls of Ferrous Dominus, a mixed group of human mercenaries and equine soldiers sat around a mess hall. The groups current distraction from duties and the battlefield in general was a grey coated and brown maned earth pony by the name of Spoons who had a wooden spoon as his cutie mark and was pretty decent at making soup. It was not an accident that he got stuck with kitchen duty more often than not as the gruel was always a step above its usual quality on the nights he was cook.
Anyway, the group was listening to Spoons rather somber realization at the complete picture of sudden change that had happened to his world and his races way of life. From the advanced Tau to the Savage Orks to the Chaos worshiping Iron Warriors that they had pledged themselves to. His civilization's pony ways were changing right before his eyes and all in the name of survival.
The other ponies and mercs around him either thought on these events with him or were completely indifferent. A man in dirty brown fatigues who went by the name of Pitts sat and scratched his goatee'd chin for a bit, considering Spoon's words before giving a shrug and saying, "Yeah, I guess that's all pretty bad. Hell, all things considered, we still may not survive this at all. But you know what? It could still be worse."
The various heads around Pitts snapped to his direction. The humans faces wincing at superstitious fear of a jinx and the equines faces full of confusion and curiosity. Spoons spoke up with the obvious response, "How?"
"We could be the Lamenters," Pitts said. The other humans visibly relaxed and nodded at this while the pony soldiers just looked between each other in more confusion. Once again, Spoons asked the obvious response, "What's a Lamenter?"
Pitts smiled and leaned forward. "Alright boys, girls, and mutants! Looks like it's story time about the most unfortunate bastards in the Imperium!"
And so, the grungy Pitts weaved the tale of the valiant but misfortune addled Space Marines, well, what he knew of them anyway. From their origins in the 'cursed' 21st founding to there bitter victories and failures. Most of all, their cruel fates during and after the Badab War which had led to them on a penance crusade across the stars.
"Supposedly, no one is even sure if they're still alive or not." Pitts paused in his narrative to take a sip of his water, "Though that's about all any common speak can tell you."
He reached over and gave Spoons a friendly scratch behind the ears. "So yeah Spoons. Compared to those guys, we've got it pretty good. Hell, our chances of survival really aren't too bad considering we've got the combined expertise of more than a dozen different factions in our forces on just about anything we really might need. So cheer up."
Spoons found himself savoring the surprisingly pleasant feel of Pitts dirty fingernails before he withdrew them. He quickly collected himself and looked at his human companion's amused face. He put a hoof under his chin and considered the story for a moment before answering. "I suppose you have a good point there. I mean, the Lamenters have been having the worse luck all their careers but their still going at it, possibly. If they can continue on through all that then surely we can survive through one little Ork Waaagh right?" He finished with an honest smile.
Pitts just laughed, "Well to be fair, they're Space Marines so they're kind of made to keep kicking after the worse of the worse. A group of humans in their positions would have been killed off long ago.
Spoons smile and ears dropped. "Oh."
The human just shrugged. "But don't sweat it. Whether we live or die hasn't been determined yet. What you should really be doing is getting in that kitchen with that special talent of yours. Goanna be a big operation in a few hours and I'd like to have a last meal that doesn't taste like mulched paper."
There were several agreements from the group on that point as Spoons just rolled his eyes and turned about. "Yeah, yeah I'm going. About all anyone wants from me anyway."
Pitts gulped down the last of his water, thinking to himself. 'At least they want something besides your life from you equine. Not every soldier can say that.'
He set the cup down and took out his stub pistol, inspecting the weapon as a good soldier should. For all appearance and purpose, that's all he was.
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I'm afraid I don't know the Lamenters, and this wasn't detailed enough to change that.
The lists of Chaos Marine Legions, renegade Marine Chapters, and splinter factions are daunting long.
Hey, any idea why it isn't letting me like this story? Is there a missing flag, or did the mods break something sitewide?
6611649
Hmm, that is certainly a possibility. It's also quite possible that most of the main cast had a singing part through that whole bit of musical madness.
I briefly considered listing out who was singing what in that but I couldn't decide if that visually broke up the tune or not.
6611757
I think it may have something to do with FiMfiction's new voting system in place. They keep the up and down votes hidden until 10 or 15 votes to help keep newer stories from being marked overly red by just a few down votes and thus making seem like they aren't worth giving a look.
Apologies if you already know about this and you're having a different issue.
Just click the up vote once and it should register, even if you can't see it yet.
6614136 Seriously, fuck that guy. No, wait, he'd like that, wouldn't he?
6611670
Yeah, the story does kind of assume that the reader is inherently familiar with third-rate Space Marine Chapters.
All you really need to know about the Lamenters is their name, which literally means "those who feel grief or regret" and that their Chapter icon is, I kid you not, a bleeding heart. Their thing is that they're one of the Chapters that try to be nice guys while fighting war without end, and they are constantly punished for it. It's like they're an advertisement for what happens when you have the gall NOT to be a completely amoral blood knight in the 40K galaxy.
They are easily amongst the least intimidating Space Marine Chapters (among the canon armies, that is), in part because their tortured misadventures keep them under Chapter strength and teetering on the edge of complete destruction, and in part because they have a bleeding ****ing heart for a Chapter icon.
6615414 Oh, geez. They're kinda asking for it, aren't they?
6611670
6615414
No one loves the Lamenters.
But they're ok with that. They can shoulder it. *Manly Tears*
But yeah. It's been awhile since I went back to look at that segment and it really isn't quite as nice as it could be. I think I was going to use it as a starting point for some other stories but a lot of ideas and plans have changed since then.
You go to the Iron shelf.
I also like the idea of a Khornate and Tzeentchian having a kid. Making the kid must've been.... interesting. To say the least.
I made myself look like an idiot by bursting out loud laughing on the fourth floor of the library when I read that... Oh that is funny.
6611670
To answer your question... Here is a brief summary of their misfourtunes...
Don't take anything on that website -too- seriously, mind you, but it does a nice job summarising the utter curb-stomp that is their chapter's history...
6645880 Poor bastards
6646329
Yeah... they're not even the worst ones... that 21st Founding? Bad business... Take the Flame Falcons for example. Everything was going fine for them, beat up some orks and emo-eldar, and they were kicking absolute ass at the battle of Raffenburg's World...
And then they all burst into flame.
Seriously, their gene-seed mutated in a way that made them spontaneously combust.
Now, at first they were, quite understandably, somewhat put down by this, until they realized these flames not only didn't hurt them but made them nigh invulnerable. So, they decided it was the Emperor's blessing and continued ass-kicking.
Unfortunately, after they got back home after the battle the Inquisition pointed out that no... this was not in fact a blessing from the Emperor. No, the Inquisition was pretty sure that these guys were definitely demons...
And so the Inquisition and the rest of the Imperium utterly obliterated them within a century of their founding!
6647751 Stupid Inquisition.
6647751
Let's be fair about this. Any way you look at it, a guy walking around surrounded by a supernatural halo of fire looks super shady. When you're Inquisition, it hardly gets any shadier.
"So. I wanted to ask you about the flame."
"The flame? What about it?"
"The flame that has no obvious source, turns your enemies to ash, and yet does not consume your flesh."
"Right. Right, THAT flame. It's pretty neat, actually. Emperor's blessing, I guess."
"Yeah, about that. I've seen a lot of the Emperor's blessings. You know, Ordo Hereticus, Ordo Malleus. This doesn't really look like that. I also see a lot of daemons. Most daemons come wreathed in Warpflame."
"Oh. Well... this is different."
"I'm skeptical."
"No, no, seriously. I'm totally Loyalist. I've got like fifty purity seals on me."
"Perhaps you did before they all melted and burned off. Because of all the daemon fire."
"Sh*t! Uh, how about if I go through purification?"
"That would put my mind at ease, thank you. The purification ritual is being gutted by an eviscerator chainsword."
"That... That's not how purification works, is it? Isn't it usually done with-"
"Fire. Yeah. I think we're going to go a different route with you."
"Wow. I'm just now realizing this, but we are DICKS."
6615414
I just annihilated everyone but the Orcs and the Eldar with the Necrons in the dark crusade using my honour guard.
The Tau were pitiful and weak, barely lasting long enough to deploy their crisis suits.
The Blood Ravens were subjected to genetic purging, thousands of their gene seed wiped out.
Chaos marines and cultists were eaten away by my scarabs as they died screaming the names of their gods, even the altars of Khorne could not hold back the tide of living metal.
I bought the dawn of war series of games and I gotta say that the Necrontyr are my favourites so far.