Chapter Six — Breakdown
Words had a funny magic all their own. One minute they could divulge the most fascinating and useful facts and the next be nothing more than a sea of ink drifting on the parchment. Literacy depended largely upon concentration and Discord had precious little of that at present.
His current text—an outdated artifact guide—had some lovely, full color pictures, but its words had become untranslatable hieroglyphics to him. Squinting didn’t help; neither did adjusting the angle. Finally accepting that the nausea and fever had won this round, he closed the book.
Twilight either did not hear or chose not to comment, plowing away at the moldering volume in front of her. He rested his head on the cushions, watching her out of the corner of his eye. How does she stand it? Book after book after book . . .
Discord could not help but smile at the mare’s intense focus on the text. It was a small wonder she had any teeth, considering how hard she gritted them. He chuckled softly to himself. I know you want to help, but don’t give yourself a hernia.
Twilight yawned, pressing her side gently against his paw. Though unconscious, the motion sent a ripple of warmth through his body. Contact. Unpressured, casual contact with another creature. How many centuries had it been?
Fluttershy held his hand and on occasion hugged him, but she never just touched him like this. A small lump formed in his throat as he watched her work, perfectly oblivious to the world around her.
Discord chuffed softly and, to his surprise she twitched, head whirling around to face him. “Are you okay?”
Huh? “Obviously.”
“But you coughed,” she raised a hoof, placing it softly on his forehead. “Your fever’s gone down . . . Could it be another symptom?”
Is she serious? Discord barked a laugh. “I wasn’t coughing.”
“You weren’t? What-what were you doing?”
The question though obvious, struck an uncomfortable chord with him. Suddenly, he didn’t feel like explaining himself at all. “I-I was chuffing, that’s all,” he murmured, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks.
“Chuffing? What—”
“It’s kind of like . . . kind of like. . . ” Come on, it’s not that embarrassing, Discord! “Its my version of a nicker I suppose.”
Twilight looked away, a small blush starting. “Oh . . . so that’s what it was.”
Great, now she thinks I was hitting on her. “It wasn’t like that, Twilight. I was just surprised to have someone touch me like it’s not a big deal. It’s—it’s been a long time since anypony’s done that and it felt really nice, okay?”
The embarrassment turned into a small smile and, before he knew it, she had given him a quick hug. “I’m glad I could help. Though,” she gave an unfamiliar, yet undeniably pleasant giggle, “I wasn’t doing it on purpose.”
He chuckled, “That’s what made it so nice.” Leaving her to sift through that information, he turned away, closing his eyes. This might not be his home, but, at that moment, Discord found himself entirely at peace.
A pebbled skipped straight across Main Street, going virtually unnoticed by Ponyville’s cheery populous. Spike kicked another one, shuffling along the dirt strewn path. Two hours wasted meandering around town just to have grumpy rejections chucked at him. Stupid! It’s not my fault you know . . .
He let out a low growl, “What a waste of time . . .” And what did Discord expect anyway? Of course they didn’t want to be in a band with the Spirit of Chaos. Discord had turned all of Ponyville into his personal carnival after all.
His sigh absorbed into the din of the midday market. “Why was I even trying to help him in the first place? He probably just wanted to prank us all in the first place . . . ” Spike sent another pebble skyward, watching it strike the earth and roll lazily towards a familiar side-street. The same street he used as a shortcut to Rarity’s.
Rarity’s huh? Why not stop in for a chat? After all the time he wasted this morning, he might as well spend the rest of the day being useful. At least she valued his assistance and opinions. Making up his mind, he turned down the street, walking towards the Boutique.
Though he tried to focus on what interesting projects Rarity had in store for him, Spike’s thoughts could not help but drift back to Discord. Cranky, annoying, and narcissistic, but, not cruel—not anymore. The nature of his latest request had been borderline freaky coming from him. Perhaps this band represented his attempt at helping Twilight out.
Not likely. These past few days, Discord had been avoiding any sort of “responsibility” in terms of research. His eyes drifted to the castle shimmering like a torch in the daylight. Twilight’s researching like mad and he’s just lazing around. Serves him right to lose his powers. Maybe it’ll teach him a lesson about responsibility or something . . .
He paused outside the Boutique, grinning at the familiar, feminine exterior. It might be unwelcoming to some ponies, but Spike never could get enough of Rarity’s style. As he did every time he visited, he knocked three times and waited.
After about half a minute, he was greeted by the most beautiful eyes in all of Equestria. “Spikey! What a wonderful surprise!” She beamed down at him as if he had brought her a saddlebag full of jewels. “Do come in, darling, do come in.”
Spike followed her into the cool interior of the shop, glancing around the shop. Taking his usual spot across from her on the longue, he began a bit tentatively, “I hope you don’t mind me popping by. It’s just, I was heading home anyway and thought I’d stop in to chat.” He twiddled his thumbs, avoiding her mystifying gaze. “If you have time that is . . .”
“How nice of you to stop by!” A teacup levitated to her lips and she took a long sip before continuing, “You have excellent timing. Why I just came home from the spa not five minutes ago. And,” she shot him a friendly wink, “I have nothing pressing on the agenda today, so we have all the time in the world to chat.”
“Awesome!” Then, realizing his over-exuberance, he cleared his throat. Best to change the subject before it got awkward. “Sooo, how’s that Spring collection coming along? Were you able to finish it?”
“How sweet of you to ask, Spike.” She took another sip. “Yes, I actually just finished the last one yesterday. So I thought I’d treat myself to a day off.” Then, with a light giggle, she placed the tea cup down on the coffee table. “My, my how rude of me. Would you like some tea?”
“Sure! That sounds great.” He took the proffered cup, spinning it in his claws. “Where are you going to present them this time?”
“Hmmm. Well, I wanted to go to Fillydelphia, but I missed the enrollment deadline.” Spike caught the ever so slightly bitter tone in Rarity’s voice. “So it seems I’m returning to Manehattan.”
Spike shook his head, prying his eyes off of the angel before him. “Well, there’s always next season.” He took a long swig from his tea cup, savoring the wonderful, aromatic blend only Rarity could come up with.
Rarity giggled in that enchanting way of hers. “Enough about me. What have you been up to lately?”
Well, at least somepony cares. Spike beamed back, opening his mouth to respond but paused as he remembered what had been going on the last few days. He gritted his teeth, clenching the cup tighter.
Rarity shot him a half-confused, half-worried look. Taking a deep breath, he murmured, “. . . Discord.” That one word was more than enough to sum up the situation.
Her eyes widened as she gasped dramatically. She leaned in closer, raising his chin with a hoof. “That ruffian hasn’t done anything to you, has he?” The worried tone turned to an angry one, “I’ll give him a piece of my—”
“Rarity! He didn’t do anything to me, honest. I’m perfectly fine.”
“Well, what did he do then?”
He sighed, “It’s kind of a long story. I don’t want to bother you with stuff like that . . .”
“Oh, it’s no bother at all, I can assure you. When something is troubling you, I’m always here to listen. Only if you’re comfortable sharing of course . . .” She slid closer, staring pleadingly at him.
The weight of her puppy eyes coupled with her proximity made his heart skip faster. Spike wrung his hands together, trying to pry his gaze from hers. “Errm, yeah, of course. If you really wanna hear about it,” he stuttered slightly.
“Yes, please,” she purred, fluttering her eyelashes.
“O-Okay . . . So basically Discord came to the castle to annoy us with his stupid pranks again.” As if the good-for-nothing draconequus did anything else. “But yeah, when he tried to cast some freaky spell on Twi, she blocked it. Then he ended up losing his magic or something because of the backlash.”
That still registered as far-fetched in his book. “I’m not sure I believe him though . . . What do you think?”
Rarity snorted, suppressing a giggle. “Pff . . . Discord losing his magic?”
Spike found himself chuckling a little himself. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” After a short swig from his tea cup, he continued, “So anyway, now he’s staying at the castle to supposedly research a solution. But, he hardly does anything! And Twi’s been acting really weird.”
“Weird?”
“Yeah, she’s been obsessing over this ‘cure’ as if it’s all her fault. And that’s not the worst bit. Discord got cut up from the spell, and she feels super guilty about that too.”
“Oh no, the poor darling! Working herself up when she’s done nothing wrong . . .” Her jaw tightened, “And that-that demon is totally using her.” She got up very abruptly, stamping a hoof against the floor.
“Woah there, Rarity. Calm down, please,” he soothed. “It . . . I can't say for sure if he's just playing around . . . he might actually be hurt pretty bad. He’s wearing a lot of bandages around his back and always flinches when he touches it. So it could be real.”
Though Rarity looked a little put-out, she gave a thoughtful nod. “I suppose . . .”
Great, now she thinks I’m siding with him. “But, I feel the same way as you do. Twilight shouldn't worry so much over someone like him,” he stated emphatically before draining his cup.
Rarity sat back, releasing a controlled breath. “You’re quite right, Spike. We really shouldn’t allow ourselves to harry ourselves on his account.”
Her gaze fell out the window towards the castle. “Why don’t you talk to twilight about this? Why, she might not even realize the situation herself. I’m certain she’ll listen to you. You are her Number One Assistant, right?”
Emboldened by her encouragement, Spike leapt to his feet. “Yeah, you’re right! I’ll tell her tonight. It’s about time I had my say.” He fist bumped the air before turning back to his confidant, “Thanks, Rarity.”
Rarity stood up as well, giving him a quick hug. “No problem at all, dear. I’m so happy I could help. Do remember that you can tell me anything.” She released him, looking around the room. “What would you say to a little sewing lesson?”
“Uh . . . sure I guess.”
“Excellent. Let’s get you set up then. I’ve got the most excellent beginner’s craft you’ll just love.”
I dunno about that . . . Spike chuckled to himself, following Rarity into the sewing room. At least he would have a productive afternoon, and, when he got home, he’d tell Twilight. Things were finally looking up . . .
Late afternoon sunlight splashed across the crystal floor, transforming the library into a dramatic kaleidoscope of color. Discord groaned, squinting until his eyes adjusted. The uncomfortable warmth against his left side drew his attention. There curled up with her head on an open book, Twilight lay fast asleep.
Discord rolled his eyes. And I thought I was the one with problems . . . “Twilight, Twilight?” Getting an idea, he pressed his muzzle to her side and blew into the floral perfume-laden hairs.
Twilight twitched, blinking awake. “Dis-Discord?” she yawned, stretching out like a cat before giving him a wide-eyed stare. “You’re up.”
“You weren’t,” Discord jeered, prodding her side with his talon. “And I’m not a fencepost you know.”
“Fencepost?” Twilight looked around her, then inched back, face turning red. “Oh, I’m-I’m sorry.”
Since when does she get so easily embarrassed? “I was just teasing you know.”
“Oh, right . . . he, he.”
He made to respond, but stopped when he noticed her legs quivering slightly. For the first time in days, he took a good long look at Twilight. The disheveled mane, her baggy eyes, and the aura of exhaustion she seemed to radiate wrenched at his gut. She’s worrying herself sick over this . . . “Twilight, take a break.”
She looked up from the now levitating book. “I just did.”
“Not a nap. A real and substantial break from research.”
“But we need to stop the curse!”
“I know, believe me I know. But, you’ll never discover the cure running yourself ragged like this.” He snapped his claw in an effort to magic the book from her. The resulting hollow echo made his heart sink.
Twilight grimaced, “Discord . . .”
“It-it’s okay. I’m fine, really,” he choked around the lump in his throat. The pity in her eyes disgusted him. Don’t look at me like that. I’m not worth your pity . . .
He looked away from her, grabbing a book himself. “I know this may come as a shock, but I am literate. It’s your turn to rest. Let me handle this . . .”
“Why don’t we work together?”
He rolled his eyes. “As if you want to work with me on anything.”
“We were doing it earlier!”
“Only because you feel obligated to. . . If you weren’t wallowing in guilt, you’d never even consider it,” he huffed, swishing his tail irritably.
Twilight stayed silent for a minute or more before stating in the smallest voice he ever heard her use, “So that’s why you think I’m doing this? Because I feel guilty?”
Discord slammed the book shut, turning to face her. “Yes! What in the hell would it be otherwise? You never cared about me before, why should I expect you to care now?” He stared into her eyes for a long moment before closing his eyes and looking away. As if she would fess up to anything . . .
“Because we-I . . .” Twilight gulped, focusing on the floor. “I-I don’t know . . .”
“Exactly! And why should you? You’re only the damned Princess of Friendship,” he snapped.
“I . . . I . . .” Twilight’s limbs shook violently as her eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry.”
“Well sorry doesn’t cut it!”
Rather than a response, Twilight buried her head in her hooves. Discord’s heart lurched at the small sobs and his anger vanished in an instant. What did I do? He sighed, lowering his voice to a pleading whisper, “If . . . if you really want to know, I guess I can tell you.”
Her ears perked up, but she did not turn to him.
“You know . . . You keep telling me that I’m your friend. But every time you say it . . . the words are hollow . . .” He took a long, slow breath. “You may not understand, Twilight . . . but all of this is and always was incredibly hard for me. And it never got better.
It has nothing to do with my unwillingness to change, Twilight. But,” he sighed heavily, “imagine for a moment what it would be like to throw away everything you’ve believed in for other a thousand years, everything you’ve ever known . . .
And then you suddenly need to do the complete opposite . . . or you will be turned to stone without a moment's hesitation . . .” Discord had to look away then, trying to steady the quivering of his limbs. “But if it were only that . . .”
Blinking away the tears, he tried to stand, but the steady pressure of Twilight’s hoof on his arm made him stay. Discord turned to her, regarding her tear stained face though she still did not meet his gaze. “Please . . .” her voice quivered, fighting the sobs, “Please don’t go . . . please continue.”
The request sounded as if it had taken all her willpower to utter. She breathed another sob away, focusing all the more intently on the floor. “ . . . please.”
Her last word came out so soft, he nearly missed it. As much as he wished to remain distant, Discord felt himself relax. Without really realizing it, he placed his paw across her withers. Releasing a slow slightly quivering sigh. “Alright,” he breathed.
After clearing his throat, he averted his gaze from her once more. “On-on top of that . . . nopony really gave me a chance . . . well, save for Fluttershy. Everyone just judged and hated me for my past mistakes.” His mind flicked back to the townsponies’ cold glances and hushed whispers. “No one even attempted to see that I was trying . . . even you.”
As he finished his sentence, Twilight’s grip on his paw tightened. “Heh, well, I know that—I’ve never been a good friend . . . but no one ever tried to help me learn . . .” He watched her from the corner of his eyes, “Didn’t you have problems too? Didn’t you make mistakes?” What he would not give to do it all over again.
There’s no way out of it now . . . either you finally admit it to someone or you keep it locked up forever. Discord took a long, deep breath. “Of course you did and they forgave you for it. But when I do, I’m scolded for it. Scolded because they expect me to be able to conform instantly . . . isn’t friendship supposed to help with that?
Accepting one another for who they are despite the flaws . . . At least that’s what I thought. It seemed I was wrong to think this is friendship.” His heart began to race faster and faster as the world spun all around him. “No matter where I go, I am despised . . . the glares, the disgusted looks, the snide remarks, the whispering . . . and you never noticed, am I right?” his voice cracked, “How would you feel?”
Discord finally turned, tear filled eyes regarding Twilight’s. Yet again, she averted his gaze. He forced himself to continue, though his voice grew weaker, “Even you, my so called friends treat me the same . . . Every single time I visit any of you or show up at a gathering, the reactions are always the same . . .” The last bit came out little more than a whisper as he closed his eyes and lowered his head. “utterly annoyed, disgusted by my appearance . . . even angered by it . . .”
Discord could not bear it any longer. All of this was simply too much to bear, as if he were trapped in every single bitter moment again and all at once. The first sob escaped him as he turned away. Others came as he tried to spurt out more. “No one ever trusted me . . . and why should they?!” He buried his head in his legs, sobs wracking his ribs. “I’m only the evil monster that makes everyone’s lives miserable.”
Discord stood, not even caring about the pain in his back. He wanted—needed to be alone. As best he could, he walked towards the library door. “That’s-that’s how it is, that’s how it always was and that’s how it always will be!”
Eyes, half close and half filled with tears, Discord couldn’t really see that clearly. After about ten steps, he was stopped by a gentle hug. At the contact he stopped, trying his best to calm himself down enough to breathe. He could make out Twilight embracing him with her hooves around his neck, face burrowed in his fur.
Between her tiny sobs, he caught the words. “I’m so sorry . . . I’m so so sorry.” Her breaths steadied as she continued, “Please . . . please listen. I’m so sorry Discord, I . . .” She stopped clutching him tighter, her heart pounding like a rabbit’s.
For the first time, Discord listened, really listened and the picture began to come into focus. The truth must have been painful to hear. After all, Twilight only ever wanted to do what was right. She never acted out of bad intentions that he knew of.
His sobbing came to an end eventually as he wrapped his arms around her and sunk to the ground. He returned the hug, crying silently with her.
For a moment, he felt her grip loosen just a bit, as she took a long slow breath. Then she tightened it again, nuzzling his fur softly.
He closed his eyes, stroking her back gently. “Hush, it will be all right. Hush now . . .”
Spike walked absent-mindedly towards the library, trying not to imagine the monumental task that lay in store. After putting it off for hours, it was time to fess up. Just talk to her, no big deal. Like Rarity said, she’ll understand. It’s not like she’ll take his side anyway.
As he stood in front of the crystal doors glistening in the moonlight, he felt his resolve shrink. Deep breaths, Spike, deep breaths. Slowly he crept inside. “Twilight? Can I talk to you for a bit?”
Discord lay fast asleep on the cushions beneath the large window, purring softly in his sleep. A quick scan did not reveal Twilight anywhere. Reluctantly, he shuffled towards the draconequus. Halfway there he paused, eyes growing wide. What the —
There curled up beside Discord was Twilight. What are you doing with him for? He obviously tricked her again, yes, that had to be it. But, judging from the contented look on her face, she didn’t think so.
His limbs shook as he backed out of the library and closed the doors behind him. Pantining heavily, he slid down the wall. Twilight—his Twilight had been corrupted by that monster. So much for her taking my side . . .
Sooo, I cranked up the shipping on this one. This IS a ship fic after all!
This chapter took more teamwork than all the previous chapters. He, he. Chris had a lot more ideas than I did, so he wrote a good chunk of this chapter while I took the back burner, re-wording what he had. It was an emotional high point as far as chapters go, and I wanted to make sure it worked well. Nerf's soooo much better at writing Discord than I am, so I had him take the lead on the second to last section.
Story wise, I'm excited to FINALLY be making progress on the romance (though it's still friendship technically). I always have fun with those "little moments," and particularly enjoyed the bit where Discord's all embarrassed and has to admit he liked Twilight touching him. XD I'm such a fangirl, I swear.
This entire chapter felt like I was trapped in a soap opera. I really hope we didn't overdo it with the second to last section . . . Personally I enjoy a little over-emphasis on emotions, but I do apologize if we layed it on a bit "thick."
Anywho, still the journey to go with plenty more "climatic" scenes in the future. We have one that I'm soooo excited to write, but I shan't spoil the surprise. 
Thanks for reading, and as always, comments are ever appreciated.
- Bluegrass
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, Hey Guys ^^
Chris here! And there we are again :D at the End of another chapter.
Holy Cow this chapter turned out incredible.! It could just be me, but I sure as hell felt that way.
As always we started with Section 1 and had a plan . . . but again that plan changed completely to another one haha.
Guess I can take the blame for that one. ^^
So we had to re-think through a lot of the sections, but in the end it turned out just perfect.
The most amazing thing with working on this chapter was that we really worked very hard and intense as a team to do this ^^
For the first time in Good Company I wrote myself :DD
Yes the whole second section is based off what I wrote ;3
And while I worked on that, Blue began with the third section.
But after a while, the dialogue got very tricky because we didn't really have a plan.
Suddenly I found one ^^
So everything from the first time Discord got angry is completely thought out by me ;P wow huh? HAHA Who would have thought of that xD Nerfy can think of good dialogue? SUPRISE ^^
And Blue changed it then to proper english (rofl)
yaay and every time one of us was finished with something the other re-read and corrected the stuff from the other ! ;D what? xD
Thats real teamwork right there ^^
Little Cliffhanger as well and i hope we could make you shed manly tears haha ;3
daym be excited for the next Chapter
I wont spoil anything, but . . . let the panic begin *evil grin*
Sooo thats it for now.
I really hope you enjoyed this chapter ^^
and I really have to thank all of you just for showing interest in this story
we couldn’t do this without your support ;)
bye bye then and BROHOOF (\
~ NerfStranger OUT!
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Panting
Yay, let the shipping commence in earnest.
For Chris:
Half in, half out
felt
But your not a native English speaker Nerf (at least, I don't think so) so I'll let it slide.
I would love to comment about all the feels this chapter had. But I want to comment about something else.
Spike, what is wrong with you, I know you don't trust him, but you could at least give him a chance! Now he's turned Rarity on Discord, which could only mean Mane6 troubles along the way. And you (Spike) are the instigator.
Hm...
So... so far there it seems like Spike's character is just exactly what Discord is complaining about, with no extra personal reasons for Spike to feel suspicious?
6201734 Good point. I should probably work on that some more. Seems a bit out of character, doesn't it?
♫ The Love Boat soon will be making another run... ♫
6201752
Well... it's not so much out of character as it's... irrespective of his character. Anyone could have this problem.
And, in an interesting way, Twilight was sorta in the same boat. Twilight's not particularly given to suspiciousness, but Discord had all the signifiers for it, so even though it was somewhat unfair for her to feel that way it was how she felt.
I guess the difference is that it's being solved in concordance with her character right now, whereas Spike's is... well you have to figure out how it would affect Spike (and, possibly, how Twilight would relate to him regarding it, too), and what it would require for him to change it. Especially if it's going to get worse before it gets better.
But... for that, confiding in Rarity is good, for him.
6201798
As always, I feel more educated after I read your comments. I'll do my best to resolve this Spike thing appropriately.
Wow.
So much fresh plot depth...
So many more feels...
This is getting better and better!
6201871
Now if only I would apply this level of thought to all characters, rather than mostly my favorite, I'd be unstoppable.
Just had to let you know, I loved this chapter and check all the time for updates.
Honesty, I have to thank you. If it were not for your other story I may have not even gotten into this twicord ship. :heart
Having read a few more in the past week (check my fav's and awaiting updates bookshelves for specific titles) I've defiantly come to love this ship as much as twiluna.
Keep up the good work.
10/10 Luna's
6205461 wow im very glad to hear we could bring Discolight to someones herat <3
6242035 Yeah, we need to work on that.
It's been the week of writer's block and exhaustion for me, so we're taking a break. Hopefully soon!
6246908 Lol, that would be assuming I have everything planned out. I dunno. Later? XDD
This was a little confused, not sure what you meant
{Discord finally turned, tear filled eyes regarding Twilight’s. Yet again, she averted his gaze.}
Did you mean she made him look away? or was it supposed to say "she averted her gaze" meaning that Twilight was the one looking away, which is the way I thought you were going with it.
Like the story thou, keep up the good work.
6369891
I had the same thought. 'Wait, how do you avert someone else's gaze?' So I think it was supposed to be 'her'. There are a few issues like that, and at least one instance where Twilight's name wasn't capitalized. Editing stuff and proofreading ftw. But yeah, the story idea is definitely interesting,
That last moment, with Discord and Twilight (not spike) being asleep together was completely and Adderly adorable and cute