“A-a-Achoo!”
Celestia stopped as she heard the noise, her ears flickering in response as she stared at her bookshelf. She tried telling herself that she heard nothing, or that what she had heard wasn’t anything. She should just continue pulling out her little Twily’s next lesson book. It was just a simple case of the-
“Sniff.”
Twilight recoiled from the blazing light that erupted from her mentor as Celestia zipped over to her foal. Celestia winced herself, not really being able to recall the last time that she had used this level of magic before. It was necessary though. She was not to let some foul curse overtake her little one!
The first set of incantations were basic, advanced, and super, ultimate, fantastica(a name given to it when she had made it as a foal herself) scans, all set off at the same time. They showed the foal as having a regular heartbeat, regular blood levels, but… wait, low blood sugar! She then blinked as the most thorough scans showed it was due to empathic interference, as the foal really wanted a cookie.
But they showed no real issue. Or in other words, they showed lies!
Celestia let the second set of prepared spells release. They were the far more taxing ones, but with them, even the bubonic plague, or excessive snuggles could not do her filly in. Twilight for her part, was rather confused as three pairs of wings sprang out of her back, she felt healthier than she ever had, minus her stuffy nose, and like she could play with the solar system like it was a dollhouse.
This was normal though, as centuries of paperwork had taught Celestia to always do everything in triplicate, even when it came to protective Alicorn statuses. Of course, it was just a temporary measurement for the moment, and she had to get to work.
Her hooves thundered on the tiles of the castle as she shot out of the playroom. The guards assigned to Twilight attempted to salute her, but were quickly against the wall as the sound barrier snapped in front of them. As for other servants of the castle, they tried to get out of the way, but many were not so lucky, soon finding themselves needing to be caught after having been accidentally launched into out a window.
Celestia, for her part, didn’t notice them, having been moving so fast that she had to shut her eyes. She knew the way to where she needed to go though, having memorized the whole layout of the castle over the years. She just had to deccelerate n-
Wham!
Celestia stepped back from the wall, having left a rather firm, Alicorn shaped impression into it with her propulsion. Despite seeing stars in her eyes, she didn’t dare let it slow her down, not when she had such important things to do. Instead, she stepped before the secret entrance to her lab, and yelled, “Pull the lever, Celestia!”
She then zipped to the space right beside her, saluting as she pulled the lever. She then leapt into the hole that it created in the floor, screaming, “Wrong lever!” all the way down.
Once she was back up, she pulled the correct lever, and found herself in her secret lab after a zany rollercoaster ride. She didn’t have time to remark on it though, already having formulated a plan. “Alright. Celestia-”
Kibitz, sitting comfortably in a chair in the lab, having come down the regular stairs when he heard about the jet going through the castle, sipped his tea as she walked in. “I’m here, princess.”
“Ah, perfect!” Celestia clapped her hooves together, before straightening out and clearing her throat. “Alright, Kibitz, here is the plan. First, we’ll take a foal from one of the orphanages, paint them like Twilight, and give them a potion to make sure they’re just as gifted as her. Then, after a few months of intensive training, I will use them as a guinea pig to test any sort of treatment I could need for Twilight, before sending them to, I dunno, the East?”
Kibitz, for half a moment paused. Not out of shock, but because the plan sounded oddly familiar. And then, it clicked. “Didn’t that not work when you did it to that Starlight filly to try to protect Sunset?”
Celestia rubbed her chin for a moment as she frowned, before nodding, and throwing a potion to the side. “You’re right. Besides, far too much paperwork. I suppose we’ll just need to use plan B then. Always much simpler.”
“Cthulhu?”
“Cthulhu.”
Celestia walked into the back room of her lab, hidden only by a curtain. Within, blood red curtains blocked all outside light, with only the candles she had made from the wax and sap of the trees on Malkior Seven, bathed in darkness and the abyss at the same time lighting the sparse room.
All for just good lighting. Unfortunately, the giant plumes of black fire they made creeped out the other ponies in the castle so they stayed here. Otherwise, she’d use them all over the place, even if they messed with reality from time to time.
She turned to Kibitz, who looked rather concerned. Unfortunately, he could not be here, and he knew that. So, with a wave of her hoof, she found herself completely alone with the pentagram on the floor, trying to remember the incantation she needed. It was hard, but she thought she had it.
“Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake. Count your hooves, and do a little shake!”
As Celestia turned around, she could see the eldritch behemoth turning around too, his tentacle maw turned up in a wide smile. Or, at least, she always assumed it was a smile. Unfortunately, her own expression could not match. “I’m sorry, Cthulhu, but I bring you here for matters of utmost concern. You see… Twilight is sick. Not only that, but I fear the illness will be fatal.”
For a moment, no sound emitted from Cthulhu as he reeled his head back. However, around Equestria, abominations of the utmost extreme, dragged from parts of his realm that he had not looked upon in millennia. Volcanoes erupted, the ground shook, and tornados descended upon the helpless.
All before they vanished to his jovial, warbling laughter.
Celestia frowned, before slamming a hoof down, and yelling, “How can you find this so funny?”
The eldritch being leaned forward, whispering in his tongue the truth. Celestia’s eyes widened for a moment as he explained that the threat was indeed ancient, as old as the ponies themselves. However, it did indeed have a name. A name hated by most, but a name nonetheless.
The sniffles.
Celestia blinked a few times, before smacking herself. “Thank you, sir. I suppose I shouldn’t have reacted so quickly… should I?”
Cthulhu merely warbled out another chuckle, before his form evaporated, and he went home. Celestia went back to where she came from as well, undoing the enchantments on Twilight as she walked back into the room. “Sorry for heading off, my little one. I merely thought something was more than it was. A mountain out of a molehill, and what not. I promise never to do that agai-”
Cough.
”Cthuhlu!”
I don't know what I read but I did not enjoy it
7602798
I'm working on my own update, that was just a guest chapter my friend wrote. The actual next chapter is coming soon.
...I'm not sure what just happened, but it was oddly hilarious.
well this chapter sure earns the comedy tag. ^_^
aw that's adorable and hilarious
I've read a ton of stories with "random" tags in it before, but even my mind cannot comprehend the randomness that was randomly happening on random events randomly throughout the random parts of the random chapter.
Nonetheless, I still enjoyed reading it.
If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing.
It completly make sense
Well, my comment WAS going to be for the misspellings in the authors notes before the story.
But now they're about the ethos of the piece at large.
Ahem: WTF?!
There was nothing wrong with the chapter buuuut I don't think this celestia would run to cthulu for help. Simply because there was no reason to. Now the twaith fic yeah that works because that twilight being an eldrich abomination and all. This one not so much. The comedy is there certainly but doesn't quite work sorry to say. Good chapter definitely funny but doesn't quite fit. It leaves you more wondering why than laughing.
7603010
Mmhmm I agree that chapter takes place in another world that is closer to Twaith then TTT.
I'm sorry, but WHAT?
As an aside, really, really funny. I just have no idea what I just read.
Meh... this chapter subtracts from the story as a whole a lot more than it interjects humor. Really ruins the tones of the previous ones.
Id surest you mark it as an ooc chapter and keep it at the bottom of the chapter list as a random humor thing.
So many references here. But Cthulhu is always a good choice for solving a problem. I'a I'a Cthulhu fhtagn!
7602811 Ah, because that was interesting, but most of it was pretty confusing and took away from what we saw in the previous story arc.
7605252 No, it's a facetious way of saying that this is too adorable. ^^
YES SOMEONE ELSE HAS SEEN EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE AHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! ALMOST NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT THAT MOVIE! *Kneels down and praises you*
Also,
I think you mean "There is a theory known as the multiverse theory" And you also misspelled opposite.
Great chapter! My brain hasn't exploded like that in a loooooooong time.
That...that explains so damn much.
That being said, I'm struggling to understand how this chapter bears any significant relevance on the previous chapters. Are you just trying to establish Celestia as prone to overreaction? That's nice and all, but she didn't react this badly to the chicken pox in earlier chapters, so I'm just a bit confused.
7617352
this chapter is not canon to the story. This tia is in a similar yet different world.
Multiverse theory, specifically the Divergent Multiverse referred to here, is actually only a POSTULATE.
Until such time as experiments can be devised to test it, it cannot even rise to the level of hypothesis.
So sayeth and ACTUAL SCIENTIST!! (BOW TO MY SCIENCE GOD POWERS, MORTALS!!)
7603010 It was simply too random. There was nothing thematic, and the humor wasn't well-constructed. There were few actual jokes. Most of the humor hinged entirely on absurdity, and that was too basic and tame to really be impactful. The whole thing led up to a basic repetition payoff punchline that was far too predictable and didn't really have enough build up. It was just silly.
but wtf?
Well that was an amusing little interlude
The sheer level of ridicule in this one just broke my ridiculousness-meter of its hinges
ALL HAIL CTHULLU!! HAHAHA!!!
Well, okay. May I suggest hot chicken soup next time?
7609220
Wrong
Leeevvvveeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
OK, everything was so cute and adorable, and then we went into nightmare territory followed by pointless slapstick. So at this point I feel like it's gone off the rails to the point I'm just going to give up.
Seriously I was hoping to see Celestia's response to a baby Woona sleeping with Twilight, but nooooo.
10491910
That was a guest chapter and is not necessary for the rest of my story and cute Woona is in the very next chapter. If you feel like giving up from this chapter which I did not write that is, of course, your decision but nothing like this is anywhere else in the following chapters.
Pull the lever Kronk! Wrong lever! I love that gag.