• Published 17th May 2015
  • 342 Views, 3 Comments

Thieves' Gala - DarkStarWolf53



What would happen if a bounty hunter thief and the Chaos Demon in disguise went to the Grand Galloping Gala? Nothing good, that's for sure. AviaVerse story.

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Enemies to Allies

A black-and-white pinto unicorn is racing through the Everfree.

"Argh! Stupid bucking diamond dogs! Just take a few of the things they stole, and they want to eat you!"

She screeches to a halt as a diamond dog leaps in front of her.

"Give back the jewels, pony. Then we let you live. If not, we eat you."

"Sorry. beastie, but you got my species wrong. That always ticks me off. And by the way, these jewels aren't yours! They're from the Griffin Kingdom- I'd know them anywhere! Lucky they sent me and not Goldfeather. She'd eat you for lunch!"

"Give me the jewels!"

"No way, you blasted thief! By the way, I'm a HORSE rather than a pony. Now back off unless you want a muzzle full of broken teeth!"

"Not afraid of you."

"Well, you should be. I was hoping to settle this without violence, but looks like I don't have a choice!"

"What-" The dog is cut off by incredibly hard hooves slamming into his jaw.

He staggers back a few steps, then falls to the ground. The rest of his pack, seeing this particular prey is a much better fighter than they anticipated, decide to leave.

The pinto smirks, then trots off.

Well, that was fun! But I need some real excitement.

She notices a flier tacked onto a tree.

"'Grand Galloping Gala'? What in Tartarus is that?"

"A dance those fool Equestrian ponies have every year," comes a voice from above.

"Eh? I recognize your voice, but... Oh Cerberus, not you again..."

"Yes, me again."

A chimerical creature snakes down from above.

"Discord?! Why aren't you dead?!"

"I'm not an easy mark, something you can surely understand."

"Yes, I can understand. Still hate you though."

"Yes, I know, and the feeling is mutual."

"Want a fight, beastie?"

"No thank you."

"Then why are you talking to me?"

"I was originally hoping you'd surrender to my control-"

"You know I don't surrender."

"Yes. Rather foolish."

"So I'll ask again. What in Tartarus do you want? Several broken bones? Being torn to shreds by knife and horn?"

"No and no. Actually, I came to kill you."

"Perfect! I was hoping for some excitement! Got a reason, or want to strike now?"

"I do, in fact, have a reason. You crossed me and humiliated me, as I recall."

"Considering that if I hadn't, you'd have eaten me, I believe I have an excuse. And by the way, you crossed me first. Hired me and then tried to kill me."

"I'm the Chaos Demon. Did you really expect me to be honest?"

"Nope. I just thought you'd be smart enough not to double-cross a bounty hunter. You're lucky there's not a reward on you, or I'd slice off your head and use your hide for a rug."

"Violent as always, little horse."

"Whatever. Ready for a fight then?"

"Of course."

"What's the stakes this time, besides my life as always?"

"I saw you got some treasure from the Diamond Dogs. If I win but spare you, I want those crystals."

"Sorry beastie. Got a 'fence' waiting on these. No deal."

"The same 'fence' as last time? That she-griffin?"

"Yup! The gems I have were stolen from her, so I'm just giving them back."

"I see. You and that griffin... Anyway, that means that if I try to take those crystals, you'll attack as long as you're alive?"

"Basically yes."

"Then you die."

"Feel free to try it, but we both know who tends to win..."

She rears up on her back legs as a challenge, and Discord bares his fangs and unsheathes his claws.

"Make your move, beastie!"

He swipes at the mare with his claws, aiming at her neck, but she dodges a killing blow, ignoring her slight cuts.

"First blood to you this time, beastie."

"And this time I'll have last blood as well, pinto."

Hooves slam into his back leg, tripping him, and then Storm moves out of range.

"Argh! What kind of horse uses a move like that?! That's what lions and griffins do to trip running prey, not what horses do in fights!"

"We've gone over this before. I'm not a normal horse!"

"Yes, I've noticed!"

"Let's end this quick, beastie."

He leaps to attack rather than answer, and is met halfway by steel-shod hooves to his chest.

Discord falls back, wind knocked out of him, and before he can move, Storm pins him down and holds a very sharp knife at his throat.

"You lost again, beastie. Surrender or die."

"I *cough* surrender! Get off me!"

"Very well. Looks like I won again, beastie."

"Yes, so I'll have spare you, blast it. One day I swear I will win and watch you bleed as I tear the flesh from your bones!"

" If you are trying to intimidate me, you've failed miserably. And you're forgetting something, beastie. I won, so..."

"I know, I know. As per our deal, now I owe you something, since you spared my life... I've already given you a lot of cash and jewels in our previous fights, so what will it be this time? Another rare crystal? Bag of gold?"

"None of the above. Tell me all you know about that Gala-whatever."

"Why?"

"Because a place like that sounds fancy-formal. Fancy-formal means jewels, and lots of them!" The pinto mare licks her lips at the thought of all the things she can steal.

"Ugh, yes it is. Prissy, fancy-looking ponies, each as stupid and worthless as the last. What are those ponies good for anyway, besides easy meat?"

"Don't know. Anyway, security will probably be tight, so how does one get a ticket for this stuffed-shirt event?"

"Actually, I have a ticket right here."

"Why in the name of equine would those sissy-foals give a beast that tries to eat them tickets to a party?"

"I tricked them. A simple illusory spell made me look like a pony, an assumed name and address and 'needing to make new friends' as that irritating sun-flank Celestia forces outlanders to do, and now..."

"No idea what a 'sun-flank Celestia' is. So, how do I get one?"

"Not surprised by that. Anyway, the ticket reads Drocsid +1."

"Isn't 'Drocsid' your real name backwards?"

"Yes, and those ponies are so incredibly stupid, they didn't catch on. Would you like to come as my '+1', pinto?"

"All right, what's the catch? We both know that, if given half a chance, we'll kill each other. Why are you inviting me to a sissy-foal party thing when you want to eat me?"

"Well, knowing you, you'll be stealing jewelry right?"

"Of course."

"That will cause a definite distraction. The ponies will be too confused to notice me transforming into my true self, and will be so positively unaware, I can probably catch at least a dozen of them, some for that moment, and some for later. Should give me enough food for a couple weeks or longer. And since I'll have meat at the ready, I won't need to hunt the wild horses, including you."

"Hmm, and I keep all the jewels and money?"

"Of course."

"And you won't go back on your word so you don't end up as griffin food?"

"I swear I won't cross you, not this time."

"Better not, beastie."

"So it's a deal?"

"Yes. Just don't try anything, or you're dog meat."

"I won't I won't. So suspicious (though, I can't really blame you). Unfortunately, pinto, you'll need a dress."

"A WHAT?!"

"The place is formal, and they expect you to wear fancy attire..."

"By Tirek, I'm a horse! Why would a horse wear anything other than her natural-born fur?"

"Because these ponies are morons."

"I refuse to wear a pony-bucking dress. I need something I can run in. Do you know how fast the guards can be?!"

"Hmm, if you want to go to a tailor, we can get you fitted for a suit then..."

"Still too much- cloth slows me down. Can't you cast an illusion so I look dressed up?"

"No. My illusory spells only affect me."

"Got any washable paint then?"

"Huh?"

"I can paint some of my fur in black or whatever, make it look like a suit, and wash off my fur when it's done."

"Clever girl. Come to my house and I'll get you fixed up."

"I trust you as far as I can throw you by the tail. How do I know you won't just cage me to eat later?"

"Because in order for this to work, I need your help."

"Very well. But try anything toward me, and you're dog meat."

"Understood."

Discord snaps his claws, teleporting the rather irritated mare and himself to his home.

Author's Note:

Note: the 'deal' Storm mentions after she beats Discord, as well as the fighting and the fact they know and hate each other, is a tie-in to "Kingdom of Avia". Also, in the AviaVerse, Discord is a deadly predator, so naturally he hunts the ponies/horses/anything else he can take down without too much of a fight.

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