• Member Since 27th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen Jan 11th, 2019

RadiantBeam


I live on a farm of plotbunnies.

E
Source

Twilight Sparkle knows they’re lucky, and she’s not stupid. All her human counterpart wants is to try and understand how the magic works. But she’s in love, and as logical as she tries to be, she can’t handle a human version of herself being around her girlfriend Sunset all of the times she can’t be.

7/7/2016: Now with cover art designed by the very generous Novel-Idea! Thank you so much!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 50 )

Lovely. I'm a big fan of your narrative voice in this piece--it feels so natural, so in character for Twilight without seeming like it's in her head.

5985839

Thank you very much, I'm glad to hear it. To be honest this is my first time writing from Twilight's perspective, so I'm glad you feel I got her voice down.

If you wrote that when you were not 100% there, the by all means do more...MORE!

Not seriously this is good, do a sequel or prequel or write a whole book about it.

Also what this guy 5985839 said

5986061

I have plans at some point to write a story that actually properly gets Twilight and Sunset together. Don't know yet if it'll be directly linked to this one, but it's been knocking around in my head.

Glad you liked it!

This is so cute and sweet! I love it! :pinkiehappy :heart: :heart: :heart:

5986117

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

Really good 10/10, 3/3, 4/4, would recommend it

5986093 was trying to find do it

meh, close enough

I read your other (sorta) Sunlight story earlier today, and I have to say, this is a noticeable improvement. The ending in particular is very well done. Bravo! :raritystarry:

5986639

:yay:

5986732

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed the ending, ironically enough it was the one part of the story I had the hardest time with.

Love this piece...and being in a long distance relationship myself...yes it is worth it!

I'm pairing-agnostic for the most part, but you made this one work. Both the relationship and the conflict feel genuine, and the ending is delightfully sweet.

That being said, now I want to read about human Twilight studying magic, because that sounds like a really fun read.

“Everything disappeared on me then, you know. All of that ambition that had carried me there was gone, and I found myself alone.” Sunset takes a deep breath, and when she speaks again, her voice cracks.
“You came and got me. And… I felt like I was home.”

Must... Not... Sing it...
Ah f*ck it !
That song is just too freaking awesome ! :yay:

This is indeed a different kind of story between Twilight and Sunset, I also love the writing.
Job well done :twilightsmile:

YES. SUNLIGHT FOR THE WIN!!!

5987493

Glad you enjoyed! And needless to say, a story with human Twilight studying magic would be incredibly interesting to read indeed. Considering her pony counterpart, I suspect a lot of explosions would be involved.

5987329

I haven't dated in awhile, but some of my best friends are long distance, and I agree; it's most definitely worth it. :twilightsmile:

5987713

I admit, I had it on repeat for the last scene. I'm shameless.

5987782

Thank you!

5988073

Glad you approve. :pinkiehappy:

Biggest problem for me was the constant shifting of tense usage. Really quite distracting.

That said, still a nice one-shot.

5988158

Glad you liked it and yeah, unfortunately, I haven't written present tense in a few years. Getting it to flow was a bit harder than I would have liked, so thank you for the critique on that aspect.

Easy solution to ensure minimal heartbreak (mostly for Human Twilight): Find Human Sunset and set her up with Human Twilight... Or just get Human Twilight interested in Flash.

5988582

I'm rather fond of siccing her on Flash, myself. Ties up romantic loose ends very nicely.

5988595
The shipping has the potential to finally break the mirror-esque setup between the two worlds as Hu-Twilight and Hu-Flash would be able to have children where as the pony couple would not, thus creating a person who does no have a double. Even if you go the route of magical baby for pony Sunset and Twilight, it would still be different.

This felt a little--no, a LOT--rushed to me. The present tense and the way you zoom through all this at a hundred miles an hour without taking time to even build up the story you're telling throws me off and keeps me from really enjoying reading this. This feels like a rapid-fire summary or perhaps a prologue of a story that should be much, much longer and slower, several chapters, twenty or thirty thousands words minimum. Instead it's an infodump summary of a relationship and a conflict, thrown at the reader all in present tense, and it just doesn't really work for me.

This was... okay.

Not great, but not bad, and I completely bought WHY Twilight was so wigged out. Appreciated it and all.

Have an up thumb.

I'm not a big fan of mushy love stories, but I really enjoyed this. It was sweet and innocent. :pinkiesmile: :heart:

This is a pretty good sunlight story. It was a bit awkward for me to read a story in present tense and it did bother me a little, but that is just a matter of taste and not anything else.

I don't really have any problems with Human Twilight and Sunset hooking up, but I'm glad they didn't in this story. I also like how Sunset told Twilight just how big of a difference there is between her and her human counterpart despite looking and sounding the same. It also made a lot of sense why Twilight was really worrying over what might happen to their relationship and it was very much Twilight, at this point at least, to realize it was stupid but she shouldn't just leave it alone.

This was written a bit oddly, but was cute. I liked it!

I've been writing some stuff involving one or two Twilight's and Sunset myself, recently... :twilightoops:

5990664

To each their own, and thank you very much for the critique, I appreciate it.

5991536

Thank you for the thumbs up! :pinkiehappy:

5991997

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it even if it's not your thing. :twilightsmile:

5991998

I admit, this fic was largely experimentation. I haven't written in present tense in a few years, and I wanted to see if I could still do it. Combine it with lack of sleep and a headache, and here we are. I'm glad you still found the story enjoyable in spite of that!

5992678

Two Twilights and a Sunset seems to be a common fic idea these days... :trixieshiftright:

This is romance done right; a captivating and relatable plot that balances a conflict of hearts without ever being overly dramatic. Very nice job!

5993540

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. :twilightsmile:

This story sucks.

12/10

*insert Pewdiepie-styled music here*

(Yes, I know, sarcasm, dislikes are likes. You can't possibly dislike a sarcastic comment. You can, it it really, really offends you. No offense.)

5994614

No worries, none taken. :twilightsmile:

That was a cute one shot :twilightsmile: Very nicely done I like how you incorporated Twilight's voice in the narrative. :twilightsmile: well done. :twilightsmile:

5999465

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

Sooooo, no threesome? I know I'd love to go f*ck myself if I ever met a counterpart of mine. :trollestia:

6019953

I'm sure sooner or later someone will write it. :rainbowlaugh:

6020265 Hm, well I've read about a threesome with both Sunsets and Shining Armor, both Twilights and Flash Sentry, and Sunset, Twilight and Flash Sentry, but curiously enough none so far with both Twilights and Sunset. Somebody's gotta write it,

I absolutely love the effect of dividing the story between Twilight's introspective explanation in the beginning and the actual conversation in the second half. It really let us get into her head in a short amount of time, which I think gave this story a lot more weight than a typical one shot. Also, the My Past Is Not Today reference was great.

Normally I try to leave a suggestion with every story comment, because no matter how good a story is there's always something that can be improved. But I honestly can't think of anything :applejackconfused:. This is why I should comment on stories when I read them instead of the next day...

Anyway, I'm planning on reading through your other stories, I was really impressed with this one. Keep it up :raritywink:.

6090154

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed this story, and I hope you like the other stuff I have posted. :twilightsmile:

Lovely stuff. Really love some of the details of the relationship, particularly the nuance that separates Equestria's Twilight from the human world's Twilight. The backstory is really nice as well. Really like the tone, too. The joy of the relationship and Twilight's worry about the other Twilight are conveyed really well here. Great stuff!

6393478

Thank you very much! Glad you enjoyed the fic.

Really lovely story, I would lie if I said I wouldn't have liked to see a bit more of the conflict(maybe a build up in one of two chapters) but for what it was it felt really organic and believeable as a conflict Twilight will experiment in such a relationship, you have earned yourself a follower :raritywink:

“Everything disappeared on me then, you know. All of that ambition that had carried me there was gone, and I found myself alone.” Sunset takes a deep breath, and when she speaks again, her voice cracks.

“You came and got me. And… I felt like I was home.”

:fluttercry:

Also:

pre01.deviantart.net/e555/th/pre/i/2015/274/e/e/twilight_x_shimmer_x_twilight_by_ryou14-d9bmagd.jpg

Amazing story! Good job! Lovin' it.

Gonna recommend it on my page, and I only recommend stories I REALLY like.

WOW. Tis a good story, thou should make us a sequel as we love sunlight. (If thou could not tell we are the son of princess Luna)

Fantastic story, I love how you went about explaining Twilight's fears. I myself am in a long distance relationship and I could really relate to her thoughts, especially how she worried about not being able to see Sunset all the time. But like Twilight I also trust my gf completely and I lived reading about a similar (though more complicated) relationship.

And now I can’t read sunset’s last words to Twilight without singing them. Great. THANKS A LOT!!!

Not that I’m complaining. That’s a catchy song, and this is a beautiful story.

Well that was lovely

To be clear: it’s not like Twilight expects Sunset to break up with her. Oh sure, a tiny, tiny part of her is kind of afraid of that possibility now that she knows the human world has a version of her, but she doesn’t think it’ll actually happen.

You never know what'll happen twilight, but sometimes things happen when we least expect it. :fluttershysad:

( “Now you know, so… it’s your choice now. Whatever you write back, know that no matter what you’ll always be my friend. And if you don’t write back at all, know I don’t blame you.” )

That's very thoughtful of you twilight. :twilightsmile:

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