Fact: Dinky Doo has the best mother in the world, and Dinky Doo is fully aware of this. Ditzy Doo works hard for her every day, and Dinky tries her hardest to be the daughter that her mom deserves. To really show how much she cares for Ditzy Doo, Dinky needs to get her mother the best birthday gift ever. A new jewelry store opening up in Ponyville provides the perfect opportunity. Unfortunately, Amethyst Star's Fine Jewlers is going to result in far more than Dinky bargained for...
A Lunaverse story.
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Chapters (6)
And so the first wholly original story of the Lunaverse begins (finally)! That is to say, the first one not based off of a Friendship is Magic episode.
Amethyst Star, for those of you who don't know who I'm referring to. AKA, "Sparkler." Certain parts of this story are going to be hard to write, and now that we all know who Amethyst Star is, I think we all can probably guess why. I promise it will be worth it, though.
On a considerably lighter note, while writing the opening stinger, the bit prior to the main theme, this song came on my playlist. Listening to "Europa" whilst imagining Dinky Doo trying to catch a chicken can only enhance your reading experience.
Fluttershy being independently wealthy is basically something that my friends and I came up with to explain the fact that Fluttershy doesn't seem to have an actual job, but nevertheless doesn't seem strapped for cash. I mean, she's not a vet, as animals seem to come to her of their own volition rather than owners showing up. I thought that maybe she raised chickens for their eggs, but we've never seen her trying to sell any, and she doesn't have nearly enough chickens regardless. She might make a living off of selling pets, but I something doesn't mesh up quite right with that, either.
A common fan theory is that she writes dirty novels.
This is silly and I do like it for the less serious stories, but for this I wanted something more, well, likely. So: independent wealth from her family controlling most weather production in Equestria via having a controlling interest in the weather factory in Cloudsdale.
Oh, and Angel Bunny is still around, I just couldn't find a way to work him into the current chapter. Maybe he's hibernating since it's still winter, or something.
The diabeetus, I has it.
Again, Love Love Love the setting.
Though I have to wonder if Cadance is butterflied to "just" a unicorn or pegasus, if she exists at all in Lunaverse?
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I've decided she still exists, and is still an alicorn. We'll get to her eventually.
Well, I always assumed that Fluttershy was on the city (or county?) payroll, much like the weather ponies. Apparently animals have to be looked after -- by ponies -- in FiM world, just as the weather has to be managed, so I figured the government would foot the bill.
As for Cadence... I don't even accept her as an alicorn in canon, so obviously I don't want her to be one here either.
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...that make sense but isn't as fun as imagining Fluttershy stating "I'm independently wealthy."
Also I want this to be the case so that she can own the beach house for the Inevitable Beach Episode (which isn't really inevitable, but come on! I want sea ponies).
This is just, just, wow!
Dinky is the most adorable thing ever, what more, reading the narrative as presented from her perspective is almost like reading my own thought processes transcribed. The subject matter is different, but it's chock full of the same kind of long winded intertwining tangents that define what’s running through my own head at most any given moment. I also love the recurring motif that is focused on the meaning of words, new ones she learned, those she only thinks might be real, and words she’s heard others use but only has a vague contextual grasp of.
Keep up the good work and this may top Boast Busted as my favorite.
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Fluttershy as independently wealthy, I can go with that. Not the presumption I usually work under, as I generally assume she is employed by the city to tend and manage the local wild life, making her something of the really world equivalent to a park ranger or game warden. Still, it’s a fair bit more plausible than the secret porn novelist approach, no matter how amusing an idea that makes.
Anyway, so Sparkler or rather Amethyst Star. I'll admit I missed that until it was pointed out, as I was probably focused too much on all the adorably intellectual filly cuteness. It would seem rather obvious now where this story is ultimately heading, though how it will go about getting there should still be an interesting treat.
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SPOILER: The story will end with Sparkler teleporting away rather than actually facing her problems. I have a pattern going, damnit, I must stick to it!
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Her 'problem', in this case, is an intractably-stuck jar of peanut butter, of course.
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Good point, though technically speaking just because something is heading in a particular direction doesn't necessarily mean that will end up being where it ends up when all is said and done
Uh... wait, what just happened?
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I'm assuming that the dirty novels are just a hobby here, then, and not an income source.
605836 I want sea ponies, too!
Okay, Ditzy may be best mommy, but Dinky is also best daughter. You wrote her very well, too. So hugable...
Okay. I'm guessing that Amethyst Star's role in all of this will to try to screw up the bond Ditzy and Dinky have because of a need to be a dutiful sister to Unnamed Jerkwad Dad. It's sort of too bad that Trixie can't use her influence to do something about him. I'd love the next headline of the Foal Free Press to read 'Deadbeat Dad Beat Dead."
I can already feel my blood sugar rising....
Nice start, very cute.
"Deadbeat Dad Beat Dead"
Ooh, sibling arrivalries. This looks promising!
I also expect that this is going to be where Raindrops punches Trixie in the face for acting like an idiot......
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It was in Boast Busted.
Raindrops takes her job seriously. Both weatherwork and Trixie punching. Keep your eyes out for Trixiepuncher Raindrops in the next Blind Bags wave!
On a more adorable note, Dinky. Daawww.
I told a friend yesterday, MLP:FiM has both the worst and the best fanbase. This falls under the latter.
I do however wonder how old people think she actually is. She's seen reading a newspaper in "Ponyville Confidential", and she's almost always depicted by fans as being clever, insightful and rational. And she's the same size as the CMC. (Admittedly due to the production team using a standard model.) On the other hoof, Derpy constantly cuddles and mothers her (and in many cases walks her to and from school) while the CMC is allowed to run roughshod across Ponyville without supervision, doing crazy things like ziplining or diving or digging pit traps. On the third hoof, Derpy might just be an unusually overaffectionate mother, while the CMC's parental figure go from too busy to neglectful to disturbingly absent. On the fourth... I don't know. I may be overanalysing.
Looking forward to how this will turn out, particularily in regards to Sparkler's role. Also, hoping to see Trixie again. She could be a lot of fun as a non-central character this turn.
There really needs to be a Dinky icon here. She is just the cutest, best little girl ever!! Ooooh she wants to buy something nice for her momma with the money she earned herself?
So precious! And precocious!
Actually, since you mentioned the events of Coronoa's return I am a bit interested in knowing what happened to the original Mane Six (sans Twilight who never came to Ponyville) and how the foals of Ponyville are acting in the aftermath or how they're different in the Lunaverse.
This is probably the best alternate universe MLP fic I've ever read. You mix it up and of course give emphasis and depth to different characters but you don't really change them so much that we can't recognize the ponies we hold dear, regardless of whether they're undeveloped background characters like Raindrops or Lyra or more prominent ones like Cheerilee, Trixie or Fluttershy.
So well done!! Can't wait to see what happens with Amethyst Star and Dinky!!
Nice to see a return to the slice of life category. Adventure is fun and all, but it's peeking into these ponies lives that really connects us with them.
Very cute, very heartwarming! I do believe this needs to go on my favorites right...about...now!
Dinky had used to like chickens. Then she’d worked with them.
You think you have it bad, Dinky, you should see what us humans have to live through.
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there's something missing on that list
i swear to all the powers that be, no farm truly profits. ever.
at the end of the day, everything in your coffers goes into maintenance or your equipment falls apart. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/eenope.png
anything that's left goes to trying to survive 'til harvest season
and a single bad harvest can send you spiraling to endless debt leading to eventual bankruptcy. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Applejack.png
So Lunaverse-Jerk!Applejack has a point... she's just not realizing she's part of an Industrial Agribusiness instead of a Family Farm.
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exactly
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I'm not going to bother trying to guess at age equivalencies between ponies and humans. Dinky is in the same class as Applebloom and the gang, which is being broadly defined as "some time in elementary school." I do imagine Ditzy, though, as a somewhat clingy mom. She's entitled, though.
The CMCs are probably given a lot of leeway in the show for two reasons. In-universe, Ponyville is a pretty safe town from the looks of things. Out-of-universe, it'd be difficult to show them getting into all manner of crazy adventures if the writers had to always shoehorn in an adult chaperone.
So Fluttershy's loaded
.....I can go with that. It certainly beats "writes romance/erotic novels" and "modeling residuals" for a living.
Plus your open to plenty of spit-take/reaction jokes.
Don't think I've seen many Ditzy/Dinky/Sparkler stories or at least ones not involving Dr. Whooves. This should be fun.
So does the Lunaverse follow standard Rpg currency exchange rates or is there a more specific one in mind?
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if memory serves, that was the plan, but it got scrapped due to currency in the Mane Land not making much sense in the first place
so i think it's still up for debate dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png
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For now, I actually *am* gong by the standard D&D assumption that 1 silver is the most basic form of currency and is basically the game's equivalent of $1. I'm just not going by standard D&D prices, which assume that most people survive on 1 sp a day; instead I'm imagining that 1 silver bit really is equivalent to $1, albeit more like a dollar in 1950 than a dollar today (that is, able to get you more).
Given that I'm going for a somewhat more antiquated feel to Luna's Equestria (what with gas lighting, etc), though, I'm seriously tempted to come up with an unnecessarily complicated monetary system like the Victorian Britian's currency:
1 pound (also shown as £1 or 1l.) was 20 shillings.
1 shilling (1s.), was 12 pence. Also often known as a 'bob', as in "I paid six bob for this",
Thus there were 240 pence ("pence" being the British plural for "penny") (20 x 12) to every pound.
Other Victorian words to do with currency:
1 guinea was £1 1s. (or 21 shillings) - ie. a pound with an additional shilling.
1 crown was five shillings. (and half-crown two and a half shillings, of course)
A half-sovereign ten shillings.
1 farthing was a ¼ penny.
If I did that, though, I'd have to go back and retcon some prices I've mentioned. £1 was a lot of money in Victorian Britain, with relatively high-middle class Britons only making about £30-£70 a year. Shillings, crowns, pence, and half-sovereigns were spent much more commonly. If I did do this, then the bit would probably be rendered equivalent to the shilling.
If it's one thing I like about your stories it's that I usually leave them learning something I never knew be for. Be it monarchy rank or Victorian era currency.
Simple works, I really can't remember a game or book that didn't stray from the basic Copper > Silver > Gold model. Honestly the only time I've seen anything higher was in the rule book.
Also can't wait for the inevitable Beach/Sea ponie episode.
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I was wondering about that - you mentioned "silver bits" in a way that implies there are other kinds of bits. Interestingly, the bits we see on the show are yellow. I read an essay a while back which suggested that these are probably brass, rather than gold. Then again, we don't know how abundant gold is. There's a lot of gold in Canterlot, but we don't see it anywhere else, while gems are pretty abundant. On that note, though, gold is usually associated with the sun, and silver with the moon, so maybe silver is more highly prized in the Lunaverse.
The thing with the D&D economy (other than not making sense in a lot of ways) is that it's usually based on an old feudal economy, where the disparity between the working class and the middle class (let alone the upper class) was pretty huge. Peasants made a silver piece a day, but middle-class professionals (good artisans, scribes and so forth) made a gold piece a day. It may be worth examining just how poor the working class is in the Lunaverse, because they don't seem all that badly off in canon.
Anyway, actual review! Dinky is exceptionally cute. The insights into her thought processes are really well written, and capture her as a child much better than most writers do, including myself when I'm writing the Crusaders. I tend to assume that Fluttershy is paid to look after animals by the Mayor, but she's so cutely embarrassed about being gentry that I wholeheartedly approve. I don't think Ditzy is being especially overprotective here. After all, she's letting Dinky go out and have a part-time job, which is a pretty big step in the real world. I don't think Ditzy needs to walk Dinky home after work, she just really wants to.
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I'd like to read that essay, if you can dig it up. Anyway, I'd assumed that Mane Equestria still uses gold for its currency more out of a sense of tradition than because gold is in any way actually valuable in Equestria - sort of like how we still associate purple with royalty even though the reasons for doing so (purple cloth dye was ludicrously expensive, such that only royalty could generally afford it) are long gone. Ditto Lunaverse and silver, though there is also the sun bad/moon good motiff to consider. Anyway, silver bits are probably either backed by some metal that is considered precious, maybe platinum or something, or else it might be a true fiat currency, like our dollars or pounds or euros or whatever.
I'll probably go the simple breakdown for silver bits, if for no other reason than the sake of my head. In that case, 1 silver bit = 100 copper bits - basically pennies.
Excellent story; I think you capture Dinky's voice very well. Looking forward to more!
On one hand, I found a minor spelling error:
"as Dinky though it should"
On the other hand, I just got a cavity.
As mentioned, this story is happening simultaneously with the next story I've planned for the Lunaverse, "Helping...Hands?" Ditzy's seeming non-sequitor scene is helpign to establish that.
It is now 3:12 AM where I am, so that's about all I have to say for now.
Very sweet. I really like how you handle Dinky and Ditzy's characters here. And I'm hoping that Tiara doesn't decide to buy the necklace just so Dinky can't have it, because that would be mean of her.
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Which is exactly what she's going to do.
That being said, the surrealism segment not only lays the groundwork for the next story, it reminds us that a key background character
is still afraid of Trixie and (since she has no idea how equine interaction works) confuses her being caught Trixie's meltdown with being hated.
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If you do make the silver bit like the pound sterling, you'd be doing the same thing that Wheller does in his universe.
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Way to go, now narrative causality's going to make CERTAIN it happens.
This is so wonderfully cute.
Let me guess, Diamond Tiara is going to want the same necklace as Dinky, isn't she?
Dinky is so adorable and earnest, might need to brush my teeth again
Interesting to see her interactions with the other kids, good to know somethings don't change much though the universe, at least as a Scoots fan 
Also Paniced trixie is hilarious, like a mix of Neuoric Twilight and 'too occupied to explain' Pinkie... I can assume then that the next fic is going to be touching on another one of those hinted moments from Boasts Busted, should definately be fun
634936 I don't think Filthy Rich would let his daughter get away with that, either out of basic pony decency or out of wanting to avoid making an enemy of one of the Elements of Harmony. On the other hoof, they might want the same necklace entirely coincidentally...
That was probably the most accurately written schoolroom scene I've read - it really reminded me of my own school years. Well done. And Scootaloo is adorable, even when she's being entirely a slacker.
I genuinely can't say I prefer the canon universe or the CelestiVerse Mane 6 to this version.
All my hats, entirely doffed to you, sir.
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That'd be mean...
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Given the name of the fic, and Trixie's insistance that everything is in hoof, it probably won't be too hard to guess which hinted moment...
EDIT
Woohoo! Featured box again! I literally couldn't of done it without you guys. You all rock!
“I have a toothache"
I know I do after that scene.
I think it's reasonably well enough established that maneverse Filthy Rich probably wouldn't let his daughter buy the necklace just to be a bully. Not so sure about lunaverse Filthy Rich though.
Dinky, your adorableness is cavity-inducing. XD Poor Cheerilee. I'm a little afraid of what the fallout will be when Sparkler learns that yes, Dinky is basically exactly who she thought she was. Nice to see more of the CMC, and I loved how distracted Dinky was in class. As always, I can't wait for more~! :D
What is it with Dinky that makes people break out the double extra-big heapings of adorable when they write her?
I noticed one typo: “Want a ride?” Ditzy asked, kneeling a little so that Ditzy could get on her back, where it was warm and her mother could use her wings to keep cold wings from Dinky’s face. - I assume you meant "cold winds" there.
On the subject of coinage, I've seen someone use "jangles" for copper or silver coins worth less than a bit.
Found another two typos - Why wouldn’t she of saved up for her mother? and [...]something that Ditzy wouldn’t of been able to offer much help on anyway. - where you've used "of" instead of "have".
Dinky continues to be precious, and her worrying about the hundred bits during the class was a very funny moment. Now, I'm curious about who she reminds Sparkler of...
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Jangles. I like that...
People break out the adorable when writing for Dinky because...well...
images.wikia.com/mlpfanart/images/7/7c/Dinky2.PNG
Look at her.