Blessed Are The Cursed
I levitated a cold glass of lemonade to my mouth, quenching the horrid thirst that had built up from the previous two hours of wandering through the Equestrian village. The pink sun hat that rested over my mane sagged slightly as I leaned against a large elm tree, desperately trying to hide from the scorching spring sun. My eyes spanned over the grassy field in front of me, spying the numerous colts and fillies that played around with unhindered delight.
"If only..."
Of course these foals were hindered in their enjoyment of life. The symbols that tarnished their sides stung me like a red-hot iron rod pressing against my fur. However, there were some whispers of freedom among them. A few blessed colts and fillies who bore no cutie mark. I would have left the area in hopelessness, but these whispers held me there. My magic took hold of my large sunglasses, sliding them down slightly to get a more realistic view on these children. I then ruffled into a more comfortable position, adjusting the traveling dress I wore so that it wouldn't pinch my tail. I was going to be here awhile, might as well make it comfortable.
I wore such clothing to conceal who I was. After Princess Twilight and her allies took away my dream in Our Village, my name became a synonym for crime and brainwashing. The unholy Princesses that ruled Equestria placed a bounty on my head. 25,000 bits alive. I never thought I was worth this much, as I should be worth no more than my fellow pony, but that did not stop an iota of pride from swelling up in my chest. Though it was destroyed by the very fact that my face and name was on that poster. It was a startling reminder of all that I had lost.
Not only was I wanted, but the equal sign was banned from non-mathematical use until I was apprehended and incarcerated. Thus I could not wear my fake cutie mark anymore. This was the most painful of all and it was the reason I made sure my dress covered my flanks. I could not stand seeing its horrid reminder of my imprisonment. Every night I dreamed that I could remove it, but that wish only remained in the false realm of imagination.
One of the little rascals who wore a tiara on her spoiled head was taunting a trio of blessed fillies. My ears pricked up at the nauseous sounds that emitted from her loose lips. It was the sort of annoyance that only fillies could conjure. I listened intently as she orally harassed the poor, but fortunate girls.
"Just another day without your cutie marks! Not a surprise you are all still blank flanks!"
I winched both mentally and physically at the phrase. Blank flanks. Such an awful, discriminating, atrocious, horrid, oppressing, disgusting, demoralizing, foul, abusive and above all, offending word. If that term were ever used in Our Village, be it adult or adolescent, a righteous beating would promptly ensue. I had banned the insult from our utopia and for good reasons. Not only was it a derogatory term for those whispers of freedom, but it implied that having a cutie mark was in some way superior. The cutie mark is a lie. No one is superior to their neighbor, cutie mark or not.
"Just you wait Diamond!" The orange pegasus filly shot back. "We'll have our cutie marks! And they'll be the best!"
Well that's not the proper response. My sunglasses almost fell off in my amazement of these fillies' misguided determination. I had to forcibly shut my gaping jaw in order to think clearly. The fillies had no cutie marks which was brilliant, but they were not satisfied? They wanted more? They wanted to relinquish their freedoms for the chance to show off their cutie marks like trophies? Such backwards thinking! I had to restrain myself from jumping in and showing the children why they were lost, but that would only attract the unwanted attention of the vigilant teacher who watched her students from the window.
The trio laughed at the mocker until she stomped off in a gaudy fashion. They then proceeded to throw a frisbee about. The game was not a competition and thus did not make me twitch with disapproval. I took another sip of my lemonade, discovering that I had drunk all of it. This was rather unfortunate as the sun still rained its boiling beams upon me.
"Maybe I should get a refill..." I mused.
Suddenly I felt the edge of a plastic disc collide with the temple of my unaware head. The impact made me lose my concentration on the glass I held and it tumbled upon the roots of the elm tree. I soon realized that the trio's frisbee had hit me. I gazed down at it with false confusion as the fillies trotted up to me worriedly.
"Are ya alright Miss?" The pale yellow one exclaimed.
"Yes, I am fine." I told her as I rubbed my temple with my hoof.
"Scootaloo, I told you not to throw it so hard!" The small unicorn scolded the orange pegasus. "I knew this would happen."
"You should have caught it Sweetie Belle." Scootaloo shot back.
The trio began to bicker in front of me. I frowned upon their nonsensical arguing. It was the short of arguing that ended friendships. And all over a frisbee. I sighed to get their attention, but my attempt failed horribly as I couldn't even hear myself above their perceptual squeaking. However, when I cleared my throat loudly, they inspected me in wise silence.
"It's just a frisbee. It didn't even hurt me. There's no need to fight about it." I said, trying my best to emulate my mother's gentle smile.
"Well, we're sorry." Sweetie pouted.
I waved a hoof at them. "Don't worry about it."
The yellow one raised an eyebrow at me. It was a similar action I had seen before, but from a different pony. "Not ta be rude, but who are ya? We haven't seen ya before here."
"I'm just a traveler from up north." I explained. "Thought I would stay here for a day."
"Wow, a traveler!" Scootaloo jumped up. "You've seen lots of cool stuff I bet."
I nodded. "Yes. Although I wouldn't call all of it 'cool.'"
They started to whisper among themselves. I could hear each of them clearly which destroyed the purpose of their supposed secrecy. I rolled my eyes at their behavior. Whispering was not allowed in Our Village as it was signs of mistrust toward their neighbors. If a pony kept secrets from other ponies, it would no doubt increase in both strength and size. Secrets were destructive to a unified society. I would have commented on their ineffective whispering, but I held my tongue and waited for them to spring back up from their small huddle.
The yellow one was the first to break from it. "My sister's a traveler too. Well, I mean, she doesn't always travel, but when she does, she goes on adventures!"
I chuckled at the filly. "Traveling is not my occupation. I'm just trying to get from one side of Equestria to the other."
"My sister, Rarity, travels for her business." Sweetie told me enthusiastically.
I parted my mouth and it hung open for some time. Rarity? I knew that name. My mind sorted through my mental folders of ponies I knew. It stopped abruptly on a pompous mare with a glorious purple mane. She was one of those defilers of Our Village. One of Princess Twilight's comrades. One of my enemies. The anger that swelled inside me stayed inside me only. I closed my mouth with care and looked at the girls with practiced patience.
"That is interesting." I nodded.
"Rainbow Dash travels too!" The orange one boasted. "She goes through Equestria and beats up all the bad guys!"
I smiled at them, trying to retain my fake interest. "Really?"
"Yeah! She's taken down the worst of the worst." Scootaloo reenacted the fighting that supposedly happened. "Punching, kicking, flying, and defeating them with her awesomeness!"
Now it was personal. I kept my smile as sincere as possible, not exaggerating it or even making it last more than naturally. To be blunt, I wanted to strangle these girls for their insolence. However, such an action would not only be foolish, but these fillies did not even know the truth. If only I could tell them without forcing it. At the moment, I spied the tiara-wearing child talking with her silver friend. The idea that flew into my head made me grin in delight.
"So," I began carefully, "is that tiara girl a bully to you guys?"
"Diamond Tiara?" The yellow one spat. "Yeah, she's the worse! Always buggin' us about our cutie marks."
I tilted my head. "Oh, yeah, you three don't have your cutie marks, do you? That's no reason for her to act that way though."
"That's right." Scootaloo grumbled.
"The cutie mark is not important anyway." I grumbled absently.
"Not important?" the white unicorn squeaked in shock. "But...But that's our lives! We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders. We help blank flanks like us get their cutie marks as we search for ours."
"Do you really think that?" I asked.
They are nodded simultaneously. All their ignorance poured out on me like a waterfall. I could not bear to keep my smile and it faded from my mouth quickly as the sun hid behind a thick cloud, gracing me with pleasant shade.
"I don't see it that way." I concluded.
"Why?" They all asked incredulously.
"Because the cutie mark is a lie that plagues our society. It is something ponies seek to help nopony but themselves. A cutie mark embellishes only one flank at a time and it is shared among the masses."
"Well duh!" Scootaloo interrupted. "Princess Luna says that the pony makes the cutie mark, not the other way round."
"No, a cutie mark traps you into a singular state of life. Once you are cursed with it, it directs your path like a puppeteer. You get your cutie mark, but then what? You can't decide you don't like it and move on. You can't get rid of it. You are stuck with it as it commands your life. I say blessed are the ones who have no cutie mark. You are oppressed by those who flaunt their marks, I know, but it is a small curse, but in the end, it is worth it."
"But..." The yellow one rubbed her chin. "But cutie marks show your talent. If ya are good at something and have a mark for it, why change it?"
"For freedom. Once you free yourself from your mark, life is limitless. You no longer care about showing yourself better than your fellow pony. A cutie mark only is there to shove your talents into other ponies' faces. If all get rid of them, then they won't fight over who has the better mark. Simply put, it's equal among all. And when all are equal, they work together to progress society."
I knew I had lost the orange one as she gave me a blank and totally unresponsive stare, trying to comprehend my meaning. The other two had their brows raised, but were much more responsive than their pegasus friend. I gazed at each one of them, making sure they could still listen to me before sighing and rubbing my eyes.
"The bully, Diamond whatever, she is proof of my point. The filly chases and harasses you because you lack what she has. It makes her feel superior and such. Take away her mark and what is she? Well, not a bully because she has nothing to feel superior about. She would not be a bully unless her mark urged her to be."
"It seems like cutie marks have feelings..." Sweetie mused.
"No, they don't." I told her. "It is nothing more than a symbol that guides ponies to do awful things such as bullying. Your bully only became a bully after she earned her mark. If she never did, she would be a much kinder pony."
"Naw, she was nasty even before then." The yellow one shook her head.
I threw my hooves up in exasperation. "You know what I'm saying! Now, cutie marks make ponies feel superior to other ponies. But that's not all. This society has made the earning of a cutie mark something to be celebrated. This should not be the case. It saddens me that you try so hard to earn your marks. It's a horrid endeavor and I encourage you to stop even with all your peers urging you to get them."
"Wait, you're saying we shouldn't get our marks?" Sweetie asked in her high-pitched voice that irritated me to no end.
"Exactly. Be proud of being a whisper of freedom, something I like to call those who have no cutie marks. You should not worry about being better than another and you should not worry about being less than what you are. You're ponies, through and through, and no mark on your flank is going to make you any better."
The orange filly finally blinked but still remained silent. Sweetie and the yellow one stared at each other in mutual confusion. My words churned through their young and fragile minds. I had seen such confusion before when I was raising Our Village out of infancy. It was the type of wonderment that indicated that my message left an impression on them.
"But if we don't seek our cutie marks, then what do we do?" The yellow one shrugged.
"You spread what I have told you. Prove to the world that being unique with your mark is fruitless and only leads to disagreement. Keep your friends close and never sever from them. Also choose your friends carefully. A bad apple in the bowl will ruin the bunch. Be nice and most importantly, never view yourself as above any other pony."
The school bell rang, calling all of its students back to class. The trio glanced at each other before promptly turning around. The white one looked back at me over her shoulder, a hoof waved at me happily.
"Uhh, thanks for the talk." She smiled.
As they returned to their studies, I levitated the empty glass into my visage. The sun revealed itself once again from behind the clouds, reminding me of my discomfort in its heat. I twirled the glass around absently. The dirt from the ground now spotted its previously immaculate finish.
"I need to refill it."
=
I sat alone on a bench beside the main Ponyville cobblestone street. The sun was staring at me as it hovered over the western hills. It reminded me of the quiet evenings in Our Village, when I could watch the sunsets peacefully. I sipped the lemonade from the glass. I was ashamed that I was enjoying it so much for it came from a pony who bore a lemon cutie mark. However, the refreshing coolness of it certainly made up for its disgusting origins.
I heard hoofsteps approach me from the south. As with all the ponies who passed, I lowered my hat to cover my mane. The steps became louder and louder, each one of them emitting a typhoon of anger and rage. The steps ended beside me. I risked a gaze at the pony, only seeing firm lavender hooves standing next to the bench.
The tall pony said nothing and sat on the vacant side of the bench next to me. I heard wings shuffle into place as the pony made herself comfortable. A loud, aggravated snort blew from her nostrils, jumping my heart slightly. My hat prevented me from seeing who it was, but I had a good idea. When she parted her mouth, her voice whispered to me with restrained indignation.
"The girls you talked to visited me." She began. "They told me what you said. I thought you were still in the mountains, but no, you came all the way down here."
"I could not stay there forever, Princess Twilight." I explained. "I would starve in no time. I had to try elsewhere."
"Is this some act of revenge?" She demanded. "You just filled my friends' heads with your lies and your brainwashing. Sweetie is actually agreeing with you."
"Revenge? Nothing of the sort. I just talked and they listened. Nothing more."
"Who do you think you are? That you can just....just come in here and preach your lies?"
I removed my sunglasses and looked at the infuriated ruler. "I am nothing more than a visionary. My vision is that all will be equal. To do that, we must not have cutie marks. It's simply part of the whole equation. To get the right answer, you must have the equal sign beforehand. You should understand that. I am trying to save this society."
"No, you're trying to rip it apart, Starlight. I saw what you did in that village. You forced them to be equal. You placed yourself on top and ordered them to be what you wanted them to be. There's no freedom there."
"I am only necessary for this generation." I responded. "There has to be some form of order to establish a new regulation. Once it's established in the hearts of the ponies, such rule is no longer needed. I was never going to rule them once they could rule themselves."
"That's what they all say." Twilight huffed. "I'm going to give you this chance to run for your life. You have stepped so low this time, I'm not sure if I can forgive you. You run, or I'm dragging you to Celestia and letting her deal with you."
Her words were firm and to the point. I sensed no bluff in her statement. I stretched my weary legs and got up off the bench. I took another sip of my drink and started to walk eastward, toward Canterlot's tall mountain. The Princess of Friendship did not utter another word as I left her behind.
So I walked away. My purpose in Ponyville was already accomplished. I had acquired three listeners. Three girls who would have my message gnawing at their young brains. They would realize the truth of my words. They always do. So I went with the hope of finding more foals to speak with; some more listeners to spread my message for me. The last generation would never believe my words without special care, but this new one could be easily influenced. I took a final sip of lemonade, accidentally tasting the grains of dirt that were in the glass from the previous events.
"Hmm, reminds me of Sugar Belle's muffins."
=
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Fantastic story, some of the best Starlight characterization I've seen. You really captured just how devoted she is to her ideology.
Also,
That was awesome. I'm not sure why, but that was my favorite part of the entire story.
Upvoted and fav'd.
5969404 Thanks mate! It means a lot to me!
5969412
No problem! I love Starlight Glimmer stories, and the prospect of her going back to Ponyville is brilliant.
Oh, and 25,000 bits alive? No matter how much a bit is worth, that's a lot of cash for her.
5969435 Well, any pony that can brainwash the population of a small village and rule over them as a dictator could be a threat to the government. In some way, Starlight tried to form her own country in Equestrian territory.
Also, a villain escaping judgement is probably rare so Celestia has more than a few bits ready to encourage the ponies to watch out or pursue the villain.
5969454
Makes you wonder... now that she's on the run, will she seek asylum in the griffon kingdoms? Or maybe travel even further away? I think it'd be hilarious to watch the Mane 6 have to sit through meetings with changeling diplomats to see if they can extradite her,
5969475 Personally, I think she'll try her best to stay in Equestria as her ideals matter the most there. But she may flee if her life depends on it.
5969489
We know from TJotTS (whether you consider that canon is up to you) that zebras live outside of Equestria. But... do they have cutie marks? Zecora has that cutie-mark-esque thing, but is it a genuine cutie mark?
Maybe she'd live with the zebras, as a compromise between ideology and safety.
A wanted mare with false harmonic beliefs goes to ponyvile were the tree of harmony choose live.... The only way she could be save is if Discord protects her.... Oh wait.
5969827 It's like an atheist entering a church. He does not fear the inside because he doesn't believe the church's god. Starlight probably believes the Elements of Harmony are not harmony at all. So she doesn't fear the tree.
5969864 dispite it being literally the most powerful being on the planet harmony itself given form and who power it literally most powerful then all pegasus, earth ponies, unicorns, alicorns and the avatar of Chaos itself combined?
5969864 that sounds like flat earth atheism.
5969928 I didn't say it would make sense.
5969987 her plan and ideology in a world of editrch abominations, predatory races, entity that feed on love is something I expect Discord to make.
Well, I got a bit bored, so I decided to actually go and read this story you said you were having problems with. Because procrastination, right?
Anyway, it's not bad. Some bits of wording feels wrong, but not really anything that struck me as horrible. What I did take issue with was the content. The story seems to take the stance that, here, Starlight is right and Twilight is wrong. It cements this by having her 'win' her arguments and be presented as a rational individual who doesn't fly into a rage when people don't agree with her.
Whilst I'm open to the idea she might be right, or at least misrepresented, I don't think this is the way to do it. In 3K words, the story came off more as a philosophy lesson than an actual story, and felt rather pretentious as a result. I've done something similar with one of my own earlier stories, and that didn't end so great either.
Presenting Starlights motive here felt pretty dry. Most of the stuff she's feeling and doing it more or less told to me quickly. I'd have liked to see her interact with the world around her in more than a 'have a lesson on cutie marks' kind of way. If the story took it's time to ease me into the idea that Starlight was misunderstood, then this would have gone down a lot easier for me. As it's presented here, she's the one with all the answers, and everyone else just hasn't given it any thought. It takes away a lot of depth the story was trying to have, and makes the other characters look stupid as a result. If anything, it's possible that's what people took offence with.
In short, Starlight feels off, as does Twilight. I can forgive the CMC because they're kids, and eating out of a strangers palm is what they do. But the story hasn't set up the idea that Starlight was misunderstood, and that makes the whole message go crooked, like it's grasping at straws.
Stuff like not giving it a proper ending or objective probably didn't help either. She arrives, she leaves, and nothing tangible changes. It can feel a lot like a waste of time unless it has some seriously strong writing or something worthwhile to back it up. I'm not sure I felt much of that here, since (for me) the 'lesson' didn't carry thee story.
I think this is a story that's preventing me from fully enjoying it, and is too big for it's shoes. It doesn't go into insulting territory or anything, but when you're trying to convey some kind of message (as this story is regarding cutie marks, whatever your opinion on the matter is) I think you'll find subtlety to be a much stronger ally than a pedantic monologue.
Does this help? I understand I sound a bit negative, but that's because it's far easier to pick apart the bad than highlight the good (at least for me). Personally, there was a phase where I tried to make my stories smart and intellectual, as opposed to entertaining. Even when I reread them, I don't actually find them as fulfilling, if that makes sense. I think some of that happened here.
5970021 Well, I was never trying to show that Starlight is right. I'll take it as a positive that you say she wins her arguments because that was what I was going for. Though, we all know that winning the argument does not mean you're in the right. Also, she never went into rage mode because people disagreed with her, she raged when they turned on her and made her into the bad guy of the situation.
Also, I thought it would make sense that no one has really thought of cutie marks like Starlight. In the premiere, the mane 6 were surprised and greatly confused by the village, so much so that Starlight had to explain it herself. Would the CMC, who only seek cutie marks have more knowledge of the subject. Starlight is bringing up an issue that has never been an issue before. If a person comes up to you and starts talking about Buddhism and you had no idea what it was, you'll seem pretty dumb too.
You aren't the first to mention that about Twilight. I was trying to make it that Twilight was so angry that she didn't want to lecture Starlight and she didn't want to blast her into a million pieces either. So she did something in between. But yes, I didn't do well on her.
This is my first try at something like this. I have never done a one-shot nor ever tried to put a lesson in there. If there is a lesson in here.
Hope I don't sound like I'm desperately trying to defend myself, I'm just trying to make sure there's no misunderstandings.
5970086 I got no problem with people defending themselves. I actually think it's critical: it prevents me from being an arse with no consequences.
Presentation is important with this kind of thing. Since no real counterargument was presented, the assumption any reader is going to come to is that the one with the most logical arguments (or in fact, any argument at all if the other side isn't providing any real counterargument) is 'right'. Obviously this doesn't mean she's right, but consider that if no counterargument is given, the story is as good as taking Starlight's side, and anybody who disagrees with Starlight, disagrees with the story, and if you disagree with the story, that ends in downvotes, quite possibly. Presentation is very important, and even if you don't hold the beliefs of a character, if they're being presented as being right (like they are here) that's the stance the story will take.
And I stand by what I said about setting it up. Whatever the character might have been feeling or not, we were presented with her being a power-hungry tyrant. Doing a one-eighty will jar readers more than get them to sympathize with her. I think you should have taken a lot more time to get us acquainted with not-tyrant-Glimmer.
5970099 I see. I see.
If I ever do something like this again (which is probable) I'll take what you said in consideration. Thanks mate!
Huh. Starlight tries to poison the mind of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Just... despicable. I LOVE IT!!!
Starlight's character was well done here.
5970361 Thanks mate!
5970383 I've recently put it into my favorites. Now that I have read your story, could you read one of mine?
5970392 I am don't worry. I am a slow reader though.
5970086 oh so she right? There no death world were a all powerful god can simply walk in and do whatever he wants?
Ahh the mind of the hypocrite, proven wrong, exposed as the liar she is but she keeps going with her rhetoric. The Crusaders will come to understand Starlight is wrong about cutie marks, and that they only trap you if you let them. Of course we know she will never give up her mark, what makes her "special" and spreading her philosophy is all about making herself MORE special, if everyone pony else is equally mediocre to one another then Starlight is ever more special. On the surface Starlight may even believe what she says, but her philosophy is not about making everypony free but restricting everypony in the same way, but that's what makes her a villain isn't it?
5971722 Eeyup
Not bad but I think it needs a little more... Maybe a continuation?
5976532 I haven't really thought about it, but I haven't ruled it out either. I'll need to think about where I could lead it.
I like it. A lot.
This could be great if you continue it, but as a oneshot it's already one of the better SG stories I've read. Her thought process here is frighteningly robotic. She really believes her vision is inevitable and that she is just a means to that end.
Corruption of the young? In any other case perhaps, but the CMC are so devoted to getting their marks that they get themselves and others into lots of trouble. Maybe Starlight's message will at least mitigate those impulses.
Starlight is so manipulative!
I love it!
5978399
5979401
Thanks. Actually, I'm working on a sequel already (and maybe more, if there is demand for it). But I'll release it as another one-shot before deciding to make it into a series.
Even though I do not think the CMC are easily "corrupted," but they probably do lack the discernment to hold by their own learning and personal views.
This is Starlight Glimmer as she should be. She is the one who believes everything she is selling. And uses Diamond Tiara as the concrete proof of her way of thinking: that cutie marks do more damage than good in the long run. The problem is that Twilight Sparkle doesn't comprehend her enemy. Twilight thinks she's lying. Lying implies an attempt to deceive. In Starlight's mind, all she's said is the truth. Starlight Glimmer believes in fairness, the problem is that fairness can be taken to a destructive extreme the same as anything. In Starlight's messah-complex mind, she is merely the messenger.
5985616 Exactly. Everyone thinks Starlight was some power hungry villain (she still kinda is) but she is simply disillusioned with her own thoughts and believes. The easiest person to deceive is yourself and she is always forcing her own thoughts upon her instead of having a broader worldview.
AH-HA!!!
The "withering away of the state!"
That PROVES it!