On Light Hooves I Tread

by AdamThePony

Chapter 4: Little House on the Rock Farm

On Light Hooves I Tread
a Fanfic by Adam J Nelon

Chapter 4: Little House on the Rock Farm

As I was being dragged back to Sugar Cube Corner, I saw Mister and Missus Cake leaving the shop, hanging a sign that read, in bold red letters, and in a slight italicized font, "Sorry, but we are CLOSED".

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Cake! Closing up shop for the day?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Yes'm, Pinkie Pie. Think you can hold down the fort while we're on Vacation?" Mrs. Cake asked, placing a straw hat on her head.

"Of course, Ms. Cake! Remember, I've got family to visit tomorrow, but I'm sure Gummy can watch for us. Him and the other girls, at least."

"That's good to hear, Dear." Mr. Cake said. "Take care, now."

The both of them left, saddlebags crammed with things as I and Pinkie Pie went inside. As soon as she had finished looking out the window, supposedly to confirm that her guardians were gone, she pulled the blinds shut and began bouncing like crazy!

"Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh! This is so EXCITING! I'm so excited, are you excited?! I've never been so excited! Well, except for the time you asked if I had a place to say and I went-" She stopped a moment to gasp for breath in a dramatic fashion. "...But I mean, really? Who can top that?!"

I chuckled a bit, remembering where I had heard that miniature rant before. Then, an idea struck. Something I had not done since my childhood.

"How about we have a-"

"Wait a minute! I think I know exactly what you're talking about!"

"Wanna shout it out at the same time!"

"Let's do it!"

"He-he...alright! One...two...three...!"

"SLUMBER PARTY!"

Pinkie Pie than squealed like a giddy kitten as she pedaled her hooves in the air.

"Oh my gosh, that's a great idea! We can stay up late, play games, eat junk food all night! I've got a bunch of good movies we can watch! Comedies, Sci-Fi, even a few Spooky Stories! Don't worry about ghosties! We just need to laugh and make them disappear!"

She then was quick to drag me upstairs to what was her bedroom, where I saw, to my surprise, a television? For a nation that seemed very ancient, the technology was more and more advanced the deeper I looked into it. But, it seems there wasn't much to the TV but a row of buttons that were enlarged to better conform to the size of Pony Hooves, and, just above the row of buttons, a small slot for a VHS Tape. I heard the faint sound of popcorn popping about as I looked at the arrangement of films.

One of the films was labeled with a blue logo, which read "12 Angry Mares". Another read, "Progress", which seemed to be in a large box set. Next, there was a silver-labeled tape reading "Antipodes". The final one I read made me freeze. It was a red-labeled VHS Tape, the font a rather chilling type, which looked as if it were bleeding. It read, in bold, capital letters, as if trying to scare me beyond capacity for rational thought, "CUPCAKES". I shuddered to wonder why Pinkie Pie would have such a grisly film in her library, especially one that involved a darker version of herself. My eyes then caught, of all things, a copy of "GhostBusters". Pinkie Pie had a cornucopia of good films, I'll give her that.

My eyes then caught something I wouldn't have expected to see in a world of Ponies; A Nintendo Entertainment System! Clearly, I had underestimated this world a lot more than I should have. I flipped open the flap that held the cartridge, and it was, funny enough, a ponified version of Super Mario Brothers. Part of my inner geek was telling me to boot it up and play, and I just could not resist. I slid the controller to my hooves, turned on the console, and began playing. The Graphics were almost unchanged from the version I knew, aside from the character design. The titular plumber was now an Earth Pony mare, and Bowser was now a dragon, rather than a large...turtle...thing. Nevertheless, it was still fun.

After a good fifteen minutes, I saw Pinkie Pie with bowl of popcorn in her mouth.

"Weady for Mpphie Ngght?" She said, before setting the bowl down.

I turned around, and smiled, nodding, shutting off the NES. She decided to heave the box of "Progress", and slid in the tape into the TV.

"You're gonna love this, Haze! This is a really funny!"

And so, we began to watch Progress, and it seemed a lot like a sitcom done well, with the Laugh Tracks very sparse. The episodes were incredibly humorous, and seeing Princess Luna (or perhaps a very good actress of her) freaking out over just about everything led me to lose my composure more than once. Pinkie Pie was also laughing, only in her case, she was doing so whilst rolling upon the floor.

"Man, that still gets me when I watch that! How about we watch GhostBusters, next?!" She asked.

Then, I smiled and nodded, Pinkie then retrieving that tape, and we began to watch that film afterwards. As we watched that, near the end of the film, we had run fresh out of popcorn, and when the film ended, Pinkie had, without my permission, inserted the tape of Cupcakes, then retreating down into the lower floor of Sugar Cube Corner. Needless to say, the dramatization of one of the most scary fictions I had read began to scare me even more now...by the time Pinkie Pie returned, I was huddled in the corner, using a pillow as a shield.

"Are you okay? You look...shook up." Pinkie Pie asked, tilting her head.

I pointed at the TV, as if the video were cursed.

"Oh, don't be such a silly filly!" She said, stopping the tape and coming to comfort me. "I'd never hurt anypony! It's only a movie! Besides, you're my bestest best friend ever! Come on, let's watch 12 Angry Mares! After that, we'll get ready for tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, we're going to see my sisters, Blinky and Inky! They live on a Rock Farm that I grew up on! You're gonna love it! They're a pair of grumps sometimes, but I love them!"

I smiled. I was going to meet the Pie Family in depth. Which means, I got to see some of Equestria outside of Ponyville! I had a chance to explore the world, and I had to take it.

"Sure! I'd love to come with you! Besides, it's always fun to travel together with other ponies!"

Pinkie Pie, to her nature, squealed and squeezed me. I felt my breath being cut short.

"Okay...you can let go now! There's just one thing..."

"What's that?"

"Do you have a spare pair of saddlebags?"

"DO I?!"

She must have set a new record for how fast she could leave one room to get something in another, then come back. She came so unbelievably quickly, I was flustered, to the point where I ever lost count of how much time it even took her.
Thankfully, the saddlebags were of a tan color, and were thankfully blank. While I could stand wearing ridiculous things, I wasn't 100% on wearing a Pink saddlebag with balloons on it. I smiled at her gesture.

"Thank you, Pinkie Pie. Can we start packing?"

"Already taken care of!" Pinkie said, opening up one of the flaps. She managed to cram a week's worth of sweets and sodas into two small bags, among other provisions. I was at a complete loss for words now; Forget all doubt, this pony was either a master of packing and storing, or she was a demigoddess! I stared at the bag, mouth agate, for five minutes before a hoof waved in my face.

"Hello? I know my work is good, but you've been like that for five minutes!"

I shook my head, the small flaps of skin around my mouth producing a blubbering sound which made Pinkie, well, tickled pink!

"Oooh, I can tell tomorrow's gonna be great!"

With this, Pinkie Pie dug into her closet to retrieve for me a sleeping bag. Much of her closet was full to the brim with games and miscellanea that would make any other hoarder blush. Eventually, after having freed a dozen board games, an inflatable training dummy, and several dozen plush toys, she found a sleeping bag and pillow for me, which she managed to spread on the floor with ease.

...Okay, now I know she's not like a normal pony. Anypony who can make a clutter like what I just saw and manage to find space enough for somepony of my size to lay down is certainly far from average.

My sleeping arrangements...arranged, I slithered into my sleeping bag, laying my head upon the pillow. I heard that distinct clicking of a desk lamp as Pinkie wished me a good night's sleep. Oh, the irony of that very statement. For such a loudmouthed earth pony like Pinkie Pie, she had a snore capable of waking the dead. I found it a miracle that I was able to sleep at all from it. But, after missing two straight hours, I finally went out like a light, with no resistance from my body left...

---

The next morning was quite eventful. Since this was going to be a short work day, primarily due to our agreement to go to the Rock Farm once the Breakfast Rush was over (turns out, this bakery did sell breakfast pastries!), we had to work fast. Thankfully, if there was one thing I was good at, it was being a great pitchman. Take this to heart, people: If you want to effectively sell a product without lying about everything, put as much energy and creativity into it as possible. What I did was, I gave it to my customers straight, and with a lot of momentum! Turns out, Pinkie Pie is a great mood lifter. She's the opposite of a Buzzkill. I didn't even notice the aching of my muscles or the ludicrous time that had passed, but before we knew it, Breakfast time was over, and Lunch was around the corner!

"That was GREAT!, Haze! I've never seen a pony with that much showmanship before! Maybe you could do part-time here!""

I blushed. I technically already held a job as Rainbow Dash's assistant in weather managing, and having two jobs may conflict with another. Then again, working with Rainbow was more of a "when needed" basis, rather than a standard shift...

"I'll consider it, but right now, we've got family to meet!"

"Oh, you're right! There's no time to lose! C'mon, Haze! We've got some Pies to get to!"

I nodded with a smirk, dashing off...only to realize that Pinkie Pie had not followed suit. Therefore, I had to double check. Pinkie Pie was eating a blueberry pie! I looked at her, a blank stare of lacking amusement, stifling a chuckle.

Pinkie looked back, her mouth full, but then swallowed, chuckling.

"Oh, you mean those Pies!" She said, giggling. "Sorry, I just had food on the mind! Now we can go!"

---

The train that would carry us safely into the countryside rolled in with a cloud of steam following it. It's thunderous booming of the wheels chugging along slowly ground to a halt as the train reached the platform. The steam shot out one last blast before the doors to the large train opened. From it emerged several varieties of ponies, ranging from the cosmopolitans of Manehattan to the home-grown Appleoosans. A few of Ponyville's Regulars were in the crowd as well, but they were unidentifiable. With the patrons cleared, the conductor punched our tickets and waved us into the train. Pinkie had lead me directly into the dining car.

"Hey, what are we doing here, Pinkie?" I asked as we sat in a booth.

"Oh, I thought we'd have lunch on the train while we got to my folks'! I hear this train has some really good food!"

Made sense; we get to eat and travel! Soon, a waitress mare came to our booth.

"What'll it be for you two?" She asked, a distinct southern accent to her.

"Southern Comfort! It's you!" Pinkie Pie said, beaming a smile.

"Well, if it ain't good 'ol Pinkie Pie! Good to see ya again! The usual?"

"Yup! Hay fries with a chocolate malt!"

"Alrighty, an' for yer fella friend there?"

"I'll have what she's having. And a Peony Paganini, if you can arrange it."

"Ah certainly can! It'll be ready in a few minutes, then! Good to see ya gain, Pinkie!"

I had to ask the obvious question.

"Friend of yours?"

"Well, of course! I'm a regular on this train! Southern Comfort and I are really close, so whenever I come on, she knows what to get and does it in a jiffy! Hey, look! We're passing through Canterlot!"

I looked out the window, and marveled at the sight I beheld. a Glorious mountaintop utopia. One large castle built as the template for an entire city. Only those born with the finest silver tongues could afford to live here, and it showed. As the train sped through, I saw only the fanciest of ponies dot the streets, and I swore I could see the Princesses flying. But alas, the speed of the train made it impossible to tell.

Eventually, Southern Comfort returned, lowering a platter of our goods to us, smiling.

"Ah'll come back when ya'll are done to give ya the check! That okay?"

"Oh, that's fine!" She said, smiling.

After that, our Earth Pony waitress left, and we thus began to eat. It was strange. Thanks to my having become a pony, I was now more readily able to eat plants. The unique taste of peonies in a sandwich like this was delicious, and the fries..they were so crispy! I couldn't imagine how much better they could've been if they were potatoes! Then there was the Chocolate Malt. My goodness, was it a rich chocolate flavor! My only regret was that I drank it way too fast, and it gave me brain freeze!

After a bit, Southern Comfort returned, giving us the check. "That'll be Twenty Bits! Holler if ya want more!" She said, as Pinkie Pie laid some gold coins on the table. On one side, I saw the elegant face of Princess Celestia. On the other, I saw the Princess' Cutie Mark. I saw on the back, in bold letters: "TREASURY OF PRINCESS CELESTIA. ONE BIT."

So that's what they looked like.

The train began to near what I could only ascertain as a rural part of Equestria. Past the train platform that was pretty much empty plains that stretched for miles, only dotted by a dirt path that was only barely making a stain on the grassy plains.

---

"Where's Pinkie...she said she'd be here, and she's 10 minutes late..." Whispered the meek voice of a grey mare with purple eyes.

"GIve her time...you know she'll be here..." Replied a faded purple mare with her.

"Oh muh goodness. Clyde! Yah better come see this!" Called a pale blue pony behind a pair of gold glasses.

From inside a house came a brown earth pony clad in a black hat and greyed hair, who dropped the straw dangling from his mouth.

"Pinkamena Diane Pie! Is that you?!" Sue asked, flabbergasted.

"Mama Sue! Papa Clyde! Blinkie and Inkie!" Pinkie said, glomping her sisters.

"Sister! We were waiting so long!" The purple-colored mare said, amazed.

"What took you?" The greyer mare asked.

"Sorry! We took a train and it got a bit sidetracked!"

"Well, th' important thing is that yuh made it back, dear." Clyde said, hugging his daughter. "Who's that buck yuh got with yah?"

"Oh! This is my good friend, Morning Haze! Morning Haze, this is my dad, Clyde!"

I chuckled, extending a hoof, letting out a calm "Hello."

Clyde tipped his hat to me with a smile.

"Behind Clyde is Sue, my dear old Mom!"

Sue chuckled, her glasses jiggling a bit.

"And these are my sisters! The faded purple one's Blinkie, and the grey one is Inkie!"

Blinkie smiled and waved, while Inky kept a bit distant.

"Don't be shy, Inkie! Come and say hi!" Pinkie goaded, coaxing Inkie closer by will of her charisma alone. Strange that such a strange and extroverted pony was kin to one so introverted. Regardless, the grey pony with part of her face hidden by a long bang of hair shook hooves with me.

"H-Hi, Mr. Haze..." Inkie said with a quiver.

I smiled and took her shaking hooves as a calm greeting.

"Hi, Inkie!" I said, trying to match Pinkie's enthusiasm.

Inkie simply blushed and shied away.

Pinkie than took me by the shoulder nonchalantly, assuring me that her family just didn't naturally get many visitors. Considering this was a farm focused on unearthing rocks (presumably to examine them for if they had traces of gemstones in them to sell for profit), that wasn't such a shocker to me. She also noted it was mainly due to their being leery around unknown people. Fair enough.

---

My next major mistake was querying about their business, which immediately snapped them from their stupor and got them to run at a mile a minute. For Earth Ponies, they seemed to have the absolute closest connection to the Earth as possible. They told me that a common unicorn spell was a specialized Locator spell, which allowed them to detect ores and minerals deep in the earth to enable quicker excavations of gold, silver, and tin. This, of course, meant that the monetary value of the Bit was very low. Bad news for me, I guess. Pinkie's siblings were incredibly eager to scan my personality. I guess they were trying to see what rock would fit a gentlecolt like myself. Strange, but still thoughtful. While I wasn't much the Scientist type, I did like their attitude when it came to short-hoofing the basics of their lust for Geology.

We had a spot of tea with saltine crackers as a snack (Not to mention the treasure trove of sweets that Pinkie Pie had managed to cram into our saddlebags). We shared stories of how it was like in Ponyville, and I could see the sisters were quite envious.

"We wish we got to party as much as you did..." groaned the two sisters in harmonious melancholy.

"Who said you couldn't?!" Shouted Pinkie Pie from a farther distance than I recalled. As we all spun to see where it came from, I saw the pink mare stood on her hind legs, manning a huge canon with wheels!

Okay, can somepony tell me how she managed to keep that on standby, then quick-draw it at a moment's notice? Because I am seriously at a loss for words. It's official: This pony can warp reality itself! I was starting to seriously consider the possibility that my being in Equestria is the doing of Pinkie Pie, rather than the Royal Pony Sisters. At the sight of the cannon, I immediately ducked for cover.

THOOMP!

A vague projectile shot from the cannon, smashing through the window of the small house and hitting the empty space on the table, causing balloons, party decorum, and a huge chocolate cake and snacks to tastefully place itself around the dining room. Aside from the shattered window, no other broken glass sounded. I, like the frazzled Pies, crawled out, looking at Pinkie Pie with my eyes wide as tea saucers.

"What the hay was that?!" I and the sisters asked in a chorus of calamity.

"Isn't it obvious?!" Pinkie Pie said, her sudden gesture setting off confetti around her.

We all shook our heads, not moving an inch.

"It's my Patented Pinkie Pie Party Cannon®! Guaranteed to spruce up any room you aim at so that it can be Party Central, or your Bits back!"

At first, the expression marked on the Pies' faces was one of shock, but within moments, it changed to to a resounding happiness, which infected me as well!

"So, what're we waiting for, everypony?! Let's par-tay!"

With this, in a fluid and (surprisingly) accurate motion, the pony flung a record in a direct toss-up to the record player, whose needle immediately knocked onto the record, kick-starting an upbeat track.

Needless to say, in spite of its impromptu nature, it was the best party I'd ever seen thrown on such short notice.

---

"Whoo! That was great, guys! I'm glad to have been able to come see you again! Can't wait to come back again sometime!"

"Welp, our door's always open for yuh, Pinkamena." Clyde said, smiling, his straw curling in his mouth.

As we left, Inkie stopped me, tugging my tail.

"Wait! Mr. Haze! I have something for you!"

I turned, and saw that Inkie had in her hands, a rather lustrous, cube-like rock.

She handed it into my hooves. "I think this rock is you, sir. It looks dull, but give it the proper light, and it'll shine as bright as a star!"

I smiled, pocketing the rock into my saddlebags with glee as I made it back to Pinkie.

"My folks were great, aren't they?" Pinkie Pie asked, bouncing about.

"Yeah..." I said with a smile. "They sure are!"

---

The train ride home was much like the train ride there; calm and fun. The minute we got out of the train, we were stopped by Applejack!

"Oh! Hey, AJ! What's up?"

"Pinkie! Glad I caught ya! Where ya been?"

I interjected, answering for Pinkie.

"We were at Pinkie's folks' rock farm!"

"Rock farm, huh..." Applejack hummed, hoof to her chin. "Speakin' of a form, Ah need somepony to help mah brother, Big Macintosh do some deliveries to Manehattan. Think yer friend would be up to it, Pinkie?"

I froze for a moment...just when I think I'm out of stuff to do, somepony pulls me into a new job. And this was all keeping in mind of my being a weather pony.

But, in being the Good Samaritan I was, who was I to say no?

"Alright. I'll do it, Applejack!"

The orange coated, blonde-maned pony smiled, tipping her hat.

"Great! Come meet me at Sweet Apple Acres at the crack a' dawn! We'll get ya set up and on yer way to Manehattan! "

I halfway smiled, and nodded, retreating to Sugar Cube Corner.

Hooves, please do not fail me tomorrow.

Comments

[AdamThePony]

Chapter 4 is now up, everypony! More antics with Pinkie Pie, ahoy! Only this time, we get to meet her family! Writing this took me just 2 days. That has to be a record for me.

[Meta Knight]

fantastic

[DiStort]

Alright, fun little story so far, no real problems aside from the occasional spelling flub.
My only question is this: What's with the italics? I mean, both this chapter and the last chapter started in normal font, and then shifted to all italics for the rest of both. It isn't a problem or anything, I'm just kinda curious.

[AdamThePony]

81362 That's very simple; Error in formatting.

[AdamThePony]

102473 I apologize for incorrect use of the term, then.