• Member Since 6th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen April 16th

Slam-Manian


Sup fellow MLP lovers. Not much to say about myself. I'm just a brony that loves to write and would love to put up my work for others to enjoy.

Comments ( 69 )

This story... I LOVE IT!!!!:pinkiehappy:

Greetings. So after I finished reading this, I can say that this story feels rushed and not thought out, like it would have been writen by a person who never had laid himself, nor knew anything about women's anatomy. Many times I encoutered words like pussy, dick, cock, ass, that felt out of place and were sitting poorly on the ear.

The plot itself had many holes in it. At first, our hero is tied to a bed's arms with a goo, which makes him unable to break free, but when he manages to to break the bed arm's, he doesn't sound bothered by the weight of the wood and the goo glued to him.

In the scene, when our hero escapes the bondage, the queen Chrysallis is afraid for some reason. As far as I know, she could just use her magic and zap the hero, or turn him into a mindless slave if she wanted.

Another problem with the setting was putting he's junk into her mouth, while she was realy afraid and angry, and probably could just bite he's junk off. It was like sticking your dick into a fire.

Also, I don't understand why would she want man's semen in the first place, besides reproducing. I always thought that changelings fed on emotional aura of a living being, not on their bodily fluids.

Latter, after so many poorly writen sex scenes and bad dialog lines, they managed to create a connection between them, which feelt so empty and rushed.

Looking at the tags of this story, I can say that romance and slice of life was not present in the story at all.

I hope that in the future, the author will use broader vocabulary and makes a good story,

Thank you for reading.

I have to say, this just might be my favorite second person clop fic (not that I have read many).

Okay. I haven't read this yet, but I love Queen Chrysalis. She is my favorite character. The only thing I love more than Queen Chrysalis is a Humanized Queen Chrysalis. Only thing I love more than that is a Humanized Queen Chrysalis clop story.
Basically sums up my thinking when I saw this was about Queen Chrysalis and clop.m.quickmeme.com/img/04/046657ede3154549514cc754684cdd013f51e7c5ffee9a90fc5cab6ef1d1b1ab.jpg

Okay. This was awesome! Good God what I wouldn't kill to be the guy in that story. I had a raging hard on throughout the whole story. I demand this be turned into a full fledged story! The Gods demand it!

5963786
I agree that parts of the story contradicts itself. Seriously though, they were role-playing! She didn't bite his dick off because that what she wanted him to do. Also don't act like you've been laid or act like an expert on female anatomy when you're on a fanfiction website for a show for little girls. Also, it wasn't rushed. It's a one shot clop fic. They aren't meant to be long and have a plot. They're meant to be hot, fast, and heavy. For nothing more than getting a little dose of pleasure. Also 7,000 words is actually a lot for a clop fic. They're usually about 2,000 words max. I have been a member for a while and have read enough stories to know that.

Chrysalis waifu!

COMMENCE READ!

There's now yogurt everywhere in my room

I only read the Author's Note...

Brain: This will be-
Penis: (With the voice of Gabriel Inglesias) Ah!

5964265

Our rooms seem to match in description!

Shit this is sexy as hell. I love it when Chyrsallis puts on the seductress act.

Comment posted by Harbinger Of Mist deleted May 11th, 2015

5964697
Fucking oath man.
...That's all I have to say. I didn't really think of what to say after that...
:twilightsheepish:

5964061 Greetings, thanks for reading my post. I didn't claimed being a expert in anything, all I said that it is poorly written, even for a short clop fic.

5964609 second person can be done well... Erh most of the time... Some time? Okey, I've seen two good second person.

rammed your cum covered cock deep inside her.

God man, least have the decency to sterilize your stiffy. Don't want to give her an infection.

I noticed some grammar errors in this. Couple "you" instead of "your".

5965148
It might be poorly written, but it is much better and longer than other stories in its genre. These things usually are like 3k max and only use the words "ass", "cunt", "pussy", and "ramming". I think that is what Parker was trying to get across.

5965528
Yes! Totally! Or like a full fledged story. Telling how they met and fell for each other. With lots of sexy content.

5965509 She's a Changeling how are we to know if she can even get an infection from that?

Hard as rocks. Maud Pie would love it.

5966231
How are we to know she can't? Better to air on the side of caution when playing around with the pooper.

My biggest problem with this story? You blow the plot twist in the description.

You spend most of the story setting this up as Chrysalis genuinely attempting to force herself onto a helpless prisoner, only for it to come out that actually they've been playing all along. An utterly wasted effort when the story description tells me right from the get-go that this is just play.

:applejackunsure:

5963786
I realize that this may be a bit of a dick move, but I have only a few words for you:
creative license + PARODY

I love that cover art.

The story was fun.

5970025 I SEEEEEE YOUUUUUU!!!!

5968934
Like seeing a movie's conclusion in the trailer. :facehoof:

an anthro tag would work just saying

5972758 That's one down. Just about 7 billion to go.

5968934 Agreed

Would've been nice to keep the twist a secret and play this off as a legitimate sex slave story

Although I'd have to question the sanity behind forcing fellatio on a person with fangs

Ah well, delightful regardless

5974469 Not so dead as you think, just Half Dead
*insert Half Life 2 joke here*

5976388 Half of 7 billion is 3.5 billion, 3.5 divided the half-life of two is 3......HALF-LIFE 3 CONFIRMED!!thegamescabin.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/gabenewell.jpg
THANK YOU LORD GABEN!

This is quite an awesome Chrysalis clopfic in a long time. Though that footjob scene was just....unf! :heart:

Okay... the cover art was enough to get me to like this story. But the way you described it, the interactions between the main character and Chrysalis, and the ending combined makes this totally awesome. Great job.

Hey there. I did a reading of the story. Have fun.

5993849 great job man nice reading

fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild:
heh heh heh:trixieshiftleft:

Is Chrysalis anthro or human in this fic?

6087455 she is exactly how the cover art shows her

Who is the art by?

6114191 I thank you my good sir

hmm, it almost feels like what Diaries of a Madman would have turned out as if nav just stuck with chrysalis.

JT

I want a chapter where there is a big return, then a wedding!

Please make happen!

I don't get where some people are coming from. In all the Chrysalis stories I've read, this has got to be the absolute best I've read hands down. If only there were more like this man's, 10/10.

6120754 good news is he says he is working on a sequel or prequel about them (us, you, however you put it) except the story will be a little different

Login or register to comment