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Coldfire Hart


Brony, writer, gamer and streamer: check out www.mixer.com/redbarrikku

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AU with canon from S1-S5 intertwined
image by this artist: rautakoura Go check out their works!

Two-years after Tirek's defeat, an old acquaintance returns to Ponyville and sets up shop. Trixie Lulamoon, a twice-felled show mare with a boastful ego, comes to her rival seeking to become a better mare by learning the ways of Friendship.

But is that the only reason for Trixie's wanting to change, or could there be something deeper behind her reason?

Will Twilight and her friends be able to help Trixie change, or will she be herself through-and-through?

Much thanks to 0_0 for proofreading every chapter!
Beware of spoilers in the comments! It's no fun ruining an unread story for yourself, right? :raritywink:

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 35 )

Currently reading

6093598 Thanks. I'm looking forward to good criticism :applecry: and help...cuz Celestia knows I need it since I've had this in my head for a month now :derpyderp2:

I like the premise. But some paragraphs need to be separated as well as other errors. Keep working at it!

I have read it, and I must say I like it quite a bit.

The slice of life premise is certainly refreshing and quite calming, however, I must say that the formatting is a bit chaotic.

I suggest with long chapters, you could simply double space, without even having to indent, to make it seem less cluttered and more in order.

Other than that, I liked it a lot.:heart:

6093655 Thank you! Yes, I figured as much which is why I'm hoping for someone who will give me a hand in all of that on top of other things ^_^ like I stated, it is a WIP and I will not stop until it is perfect...in my eyes, anyways bites into a Zap Apple and gets shocked Imma have to ask Applejack how she manages not to get zapped @_@

6093663 Hmm... double-spaced and no indenting on long chapters... BRILLIANT! I've thought of doing that after I saw the chaos flails arms around I will do just that then sometime Monday evening because I am hitting the hay soon. thank you though, I am glad you like it so far. I hope to keep that interest!

Here's to hoping SoL is a correct tag for the rest of the chapters xD
Maybe just double-space all of it anyways to cut out the ugh?

Comment posted by Tome deleted Sep 21st, 2015

I am going to take a guess...Trixie somehow messed up (or feels like she did) her second chance at redemption which is why she is seeing a doctor and calling herself 'The Alone and Despaired Trixie'?

6446910 Good theory, but only Trixie knows the truth :trixieshiftleft:
but for that to be revealed, the show must go on. And go on it shall! :trixieshiftright:

When did Trixie take a swing at her? I saw no kind eye in this chapter. This just destroyed any chance of Trixie trusting anyone in Ponyville especially Twilight's friends. A huge part of me actually hopes Trixie is out of Ponyville when anyone else wakes up...after she shows Ember Crown why she is called The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie. BTW, there are seven chairs in that room...one for each of the Mane Six and one for Spike.

6810706

When did Trixie take a swing at her? I saw no kind eye in this chapter. This just destroyed any chance of Trixie trusting anyone in Ponyville especially Twilight's friends. A huge part of me actually hopes Trixie is out of Ponyville when anyone else wakes up...after she shows Ember Crown why she is called The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie. BTW, there are seven chairs in that room...one for each of the Mane Six and one for Spike.

Well it sounds like you're enjoying it :pinkiehappy: I guess we'll see what happens, won't we?
But I do agree. Ember has gone and done it now for sure!

BTW, there are seven chairs in that room...one for each of the Mane Six and one for Spike.

My response:
:facehoof: "...oops... I'll fix that."
Thank you for pointing that out :twilightoops:

6810823 But, when did Trixie take a swing at Ember?

6847353 if ya read again Ember lied. Trixie never did. Ember was the aggressor

6847557 I know, but Twilight said she saw Trixie take a swing at her. That's why I'm asking when did Trixie take the swing that Twilight saw?

6848035 I found the confusion XD You are right about Twi seeing Trixie "take a swing at her..." I was implying that Twi saw Trixie attack her with magic first. My apologies :ajsleepy:

Yeah, Trixie owes Aurora as much an apology as Twilight owed Trixie. I would have loved to see Ember and her cronies get dressed down by Twilight and her friends. I'm going to have to reread to remember who Onyx Shine is. Still, Trixie is talking about five years ago to a professional, so something else happened. I still remember her calling herself the Alone and Desperate Trixie (or something like that.)

6849465 Yes, Trixie owes a BIG apology to cute lil Aurora indeed. We shall see what happens in later chapters. And yes, she is seeing a professional also. But only Trixie knows why :trixieshiftright:

Damn you Ember the Flame!

Man Trixie just can't seem to catch a break. I'll bet Ember was the filly from before huh? Not her fan but someone from her past?

I was glad to see this all workout in the end. Now Trixie needs to make amends with her number one fan. But how can she do that if the filly was hurt by her in such a bad way? To see and be told off by your hero after you help them can be very, disheartening.

6851485 :trixieshiftleft: "Trixie's past, yes..." the ugly cretin she is

6851527 Indeed it can be and that is just another lesson to add to Trixie's study guide.

:trixieshiftleft: "Hmph. The Great and Powerful Trixie spoke only the truth. That thing was worse than soggy wheat and stale hay."
:facehoof: "Trixie, be nice. She tried, doesn't that count for anything?"
:trixieshiftright: "That depends on your view, Sparkle."
:twilightangry2: "Trixie..."

Fear not, for answers shall be given in the coming chapters.

Lel

Not a big deal, but is the whole chapter suppposed to be bold after those first few lines?

7754065 no it wasn't meant to be bolded. Thank . coding messed up but should be fixed now. :twilightsmile:

Is the image meaningful, or did you just choose it because it looked good?

7773599 The image is meaningful :twilightsmile: just gotta read it

Well, that's one loose end tied up.:pinkiehappy: Thank you so much for writing it.:yay:

7778223 Hehe. Not a problem. Told ya I'd get it done :rainbowwild:
So now what is to entail hm? :trixieshiftright: "You'll just have to wait to find out."

Poor Aurora.:fluttercry: Poor, poor Aurora.:raritycry: May she rest in peace.:applecry:

This was a wonderful story. I just wish Trixie didn't have to leave her friends.

From what I read, I can only make assumptions.
1) Aurora was a changeling.
2) Trixie tried casting a forbidden spell to save Aurora.
3) Trixie HAD to leave either because she cast that spell or to keep Aurora's secret.

I don't know how many of these assumptions are correct but I hope to find out at some point. I really hope her friends find Trixie and bring her home.

7867802 Well I hope you enjoyed that final chapter either way. This chapter was by far the one that had me struggling to finish, but it happened. :twilightsmile:

As for your assumptions, well, we'll see. I have thought of a sequel but right now I am not so sure. So I will let you think on that :pinkiehappy:

I do ask, please, to use the spoiler tag though. Don't want to ruin it for anyone who has yet to read it, right? Let them decide if they want to spoil things for themselves or not :raritywink:

Thanks for being an avid reader too!

It may just be that it's been a while since i read the other chapters but this one just felt a bit Meh. Maybe it was the pacing. Maybe it was slight confusion about the end and the whole giving up something thing. Maybe it was even just a little typo, missed word towards the end. Who knows. But yeah. Sad is sad.

Otherwise good as a whole if a little rushed at times

7892135 Thank you for your positive feedback! I will use that to better my writing and future stories.
It could've been anything for sure, but thank you for reading it to its conclusion. I am glad you still liked it even with it having a pacing issue :twilightsmile:

Great, now you got me crying and stuff!:fluttercry:


And Did Trixie give up her Cutie Mark in order to try to save Aurora? My take on what happened.

Now I'm gonna go find something to make me feel better.

7899480 at least i gave warning right? Haha. Hope ya enjoyed it nonetheless!

i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/308/659/fb6.jpg
a “worthless” yet “powerful” spell, a “feeble” attempt to save Aurora... and the picture that “now” shows them both on stage. might be silly, but did the spell transfer aurora to the picture somehow? that would possibly seem “worthless” in the end. and it took trixie‘s cutie mark to do it? but then theres the changeling thing too... hmmm :trixieshiftright: i dunno :facehoof:

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