As you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, fear no evil, for I am the scariest thing you will find in this valley. Trust me, I looked.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You got yourself a good story here, may want to work a little on Luna's ye olde speech, but i will be watching.
Next chapter plz its great i mwan another fic where a human is found alone but he finds Equestria and then some wierd questions arise but in the end something awesome happens keep on writing my friend
Yo man, another awesome chapter! /) keep up the great work!
A little sketchy on the grammer, but an interesting concept none the less. I will follow this to see where it goes.
Do you really want the language to be the same? A language barrier can introduce much drama.
5964201
Yeah, I considered having a language barrier in the story, but considering that Ganymede basically has a planet sized computer available to him I just didn't think it would take him long to bypass the barrier so I dropped it.
Besides, it being an alternate dimension and all, having their language be the same isn't too far fetched. If the story took place in the same dimension I would have included a barrier regardless.
Hey a Code Geass reference!
5965465
I haven't watched any Code Geass before, where's the reference?
Short, yet sweet. Spelling/grammar could use a little work, and there are some parts that you may add to to make it better, but overall I am liking this. The story has potential to be great.
So don't fuck it up, or else I am gonna have to stab a bitch.
5966216
Ha, wanna stab me come find be bitch!
5966216
In all seriousness though if you guys feel there are parts I should work on, feel free to point them out, I'm flexible enough for suggestions.
Please... more. I need my fix man!
5965970 The Ganymede. It's a prototype knightmare in Code Geass. It was piloted by Marianne vi Britannia, mother of Nunnally and Lelouch. While it isn't a mech here, it's still a machine with a man in it.
5967485
First technically he's a human consciousness/soul in a machine (a ghost in a machine if you will)
Second, honestly I just named him after the moon orbiting Saturn by the same name.
Oh man I hope he says to Rainbow "...talking of increasing wing size to accommodate ones mass, how are you able to fly with such small wings?"
"SMALL WINGS!? WHY I AUGHTA.."
"I could double your wing size too if you wish"
IT'S MY SISTER AND I!!!!!
and stop starting every sentence with WELL!!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
5979727
Well...
5980325
bruh....
Ok i know i haven't read this story yet but i have to say that after reading its premise i have to give it an advance like and fave. Way to go and make an original spin on the HiE genre *claps*.
What can i say? I'm a sucker for good labels and premises.
Hopefully the story itself is as good (or better) as its well written premise, or more importantly i hope i find the time to read all of its released chapters soon.
God that was indeed great... uhhhh *shivers* its so damn refreshing!!!
---
Some personal notes
1.
Nerdgasm intensifies. I love to see what these wings look like in sketch... heck i might even draw it myself.
2. I don't want to be a spelling-nazi but I cant help but notice a few typos and word confusions here and there:
it should be confident
should be afterwards
should be despair
should be intriguing.
So far thats all i detected.
One question good author. I'm a bit confused... what does ganymede look like again? Does he look more human than a machine? In angel's description he certainly did so. Thnx in advance
Definitely a great read. I can't wait to read the next chapter.
5979567
SEE HOW THIS ONE MARE DOUBLED HER WING SIZE
YOU WONT BELIEVE IT
THE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS ONE SECRET
5983671
Got some mail for you Twilight. Bill...Bill... Invite to a party... one titled "Enlarge your horn now!!!"
Throw that one in the bin. Wait, how did you pronounce multiple exclamation marks?
...It's all in the moustache.
5983671
Wow...first off thanks for the comments and criticism, really helps my stories improve. Second, glad to see you like the wings, I'm not much of a drawer myself so if you ever do get around to that sketch I'd love to see it. To answer your question, on the inside Ganymede doesn't normally have working organs unless he goes through the trouble of making temporary artificial ones. Otherwise besides a pair of glowing eyes he looks pretty much the same as before he became a giant mass of nanomachines.
Hope you like the rest of my story as it develops.
5984090
its OK, I'm not exactly much of a table
it feels nice when the author of a decent story replies to something stupid you said...
thank you
5989652
Hey I said I'd reply whenever possible and I meant that.
Besides I'm genuinely interested in seeing what readers like you visualize from the discriptions in my story.
Well its rare i say something like this but......im impress and i will explain why.
Most of the time when i read the first story a guy write on this site(cause i dont if its your first ever writen.) its rarely good or well writen and most of the time it goes to fast and is full of error(Okay error doesn't bother me that much but theres some you cant simply pass without cringing when you spot them).
Also im not a fan of stories with multiple perspective.But yours,YOURS.....is pretty well done.
What im trying to say is that your story have picked my interest because its well writen,good to read,we dont know that much on Ganymede past so it make us want to know more about the poor guy and we can actually see who is talking.you would be surprise in how much story you can read something like this
("PIZZA,I WANT PIZA!!!!" Bob said"but we dont have electricty dude""SHUT UP BRIAN!!!You're not here to complain but to cook")
You see this,its horrible.Theres big ass letter,its full of errors and we dont even know who is talking.Its actually 3 guy in this order Bob,Brian and a nameless jerk that we will name Steak.(yes i just created this masterpiece)
That why im impress.Your story is not a big pile of nonsensical shit-explosion everywhere
Anyway i will stop crying like a baby and actually finish with this.
Your story may just begin but i love it and i cant wait for the next update you'll do because i think it will be a good story.
At least for now
i hope i didn't offend or bored you with this enormous text i can be a little of a whiners sometime and i can go out of context really fast
Now i'll go put this story in my Tracking,Follow you and freaking go to sleep. bye bye
6004443
Wow thanks for the wonderful comment, I love seeing comments like yours it really makes me feel appreciated, especially since it is in fact my first fic. Also I would like to appologise for how long the fourth chapter is taking, I have had to juggle school, family and loads of other problems that keep popping up but I'm working on it so don't worry, I value comments like this too much to give up on this story.
6006877 That good.We all have a life behind the stuff we make after all
6008898
Too true
6059614
Oh don't you worry too much I'm keeping an eye on the Gary stu stuff. Let's just say he is not prepared for magic.
That was cute :) I hope he leaves some of himself behind to keep watch if she ever needs help.
6059789
He has, he has camouflaged it to Bright Brushes closet walls, he's in there but if she looks in she won't know the difference.
You forgot to capitalize I'll.
6059789 that's not a bad idea, his clone self could keep her calm at night
6059614 One thing I've learned over the years is that every OC no matter how human or toned down we make them, they will always be a little Gary-stu exc.
Could do with some editing even at a spellcheck level. Pretty sure that "intertaining" isn't a word.
Okay on to content. The ending part is where this chapter really shines. To be honest it was a bit creepy, but in a heartwarming way. Kinda reminds me in a way with his interaction this one episode of Doctor Who where his companion ended up going back in to when he was a child and talking to him about fear being a super power and other things...... got lost on the comparison and I am typing this out too tired to fully think about what I am typing making it more inane.
Update! *fistpumps*
The chapter was worth the wait. Thanks! Looking forward for more
Hold up so is he a human or is he a machine becuse it would be a waste to transform his body in to another body that looks like a human body or did i miss something?
6067572
He is a human consciousness that has been downloaded into a network that controls billions of nanobots capable of assembling just about anything given enough time and resources. He appears human because it feels natural to him. If he was a machine then you would be right because he wouldn't feel the need to appear human.
the end! my feels!
Oh man these are some feels.
definitely reading more
This story. I like it. More pls.
Found a song that could fit
COULD you please write a new chapter please
Not to be pushy, but are you still working on this story?
6449653
Hey guys sorry I'm taking so long I've just been going through really busy times and all. But have no fear, I've already started work on the next chapter and will have it up sometime soon, I ain't dead yet.
The g-forces the wings would make will literally rip his spine out of him, unless he thought about improving himself genetically allowing his body to withstand it.
Just a thought