"But... I Made You!"

by GeodesicDragon

Yoshi89

It was seven o' clock in the evening by the time I shifted my car into park and grabbed the strap to my gym bag. As I lifted myself out of the driver's seat and slammed the car door shut, all I could think about was grabbing a shower, having a bite to eat and then going to bed to prepare myself for another day of work tomorrow.

I opened the door to my house, threw some frozen pizza in the microwave and walked up the stairs leading to my bedroom — only to be stopped by a sound coming through the closed door, something that sounds vaguely like...

Snoring?

I put my ear to the door and my brow drops. I live in an empty house, or at least it feels that way, so no one should be sleeping in my room. I rattled the knob and slowly pushed the door open, only to find a lump in my bed.

All I could see of the intruder was a cream coiffure resting on my pillow and the intruder's chest rising and falling in rhythm with its breathing. Down at the bedside, I could see four pink shoes.

Wait a minute. Four shoes?

I tiptoed slower to the snoring someone, or someones, my heart constricting tighter and tighter with each step. I lowered my hands until I can touch the bedsheets and, on a mental count of three, ripped them off my bed.

My eyes widened and and my jaw dropped at what I saw.

Curled up in my bed, visiting slumberland, was a cute little mare with a bright purple coat. She had a long, flowing cream-coloured mane tied back with a pretty pink bow and gold bracelets on her two front legs. I did a double take and thought to myself, No, it can't be! What is she doing here?

As my thoughts continued to race in my mind, I failed to see the mare shivering from the sudden cold. She yawned, stretched and smacked her lips. By the time I finally noticed, she was already looking at me. So, I did the only logical thing that came to mind.

I screamed my head off.

I maybe expected the pony to whinny — but instead she lets out a scream of her own. And, boy, can she scream loud. I screamed again, like a teenage girl hiding from Freddy Krueger, and so did she. I quickly backed away towards my closet and plastered myself firmly against the door.

"Why are you screaming?!" the pony shouts at me.

Oh, no, I thought. It – I mean, she – can talk. "You!" I yelled, pointing at her as I finally found the knob to my closet. "What are you doing in my house?"

"I was going to ask you that question!" she fired back.

I stuttered incoherently for a few seconds until a defiant "I asked you first!" escaped from my lips.

"Argh!" the mare groaned, throwing her forelegs in the air. "You're just as bad as my foals!"

"You mean Brownie and Sundae?" I asked out of the blue.

Her jaw hit my bed as I covered my mouth, knowing I just said something I should not have said. "H-h-how?" she squeaked. "How do you know my children's names?"

I kept my mouth covered. Another slip like that and who knows what this mare might do to me? Should I tell her the truth? I thought. Does she need to know the reason she exists? I sure didn't want to know what she had been doing in my bed, but I had to say something. I only managed to say "Ruby—" before she screamed again, leaving me no time to cover my ears.

"You know my name, too?" she cried.

"Of course I do!" I replied without thinking. "Your name is Ruby Shears... and I created you!"

Ruby stared at me with eyes the size of dinner plates. I wanted to feel relieved that I had managed to get that off my chest — but my nerves quickly revved up as she shuffled off my bed to place her hooves on the floor. "Y-you?" she yelled as she was putting her shoes on. "You created me?"

I felt a lump in my throat and could not speak. I had reached the point of no return, but eventually I mustered up enough courage to answer her question with a simple "Yes."

My creation looked her body over and waved one of her forelegs through her bed mane. Before long, I had begun to study her as well. I was amazed that she even has those 'cutie marks,' as they call them, depicting an enclosed pair of hairdressing scissors on each side of her outer hips.

"Hey!" Ruby called out and I snapped back into reality. "Hey, what are you looking at?"

"Sorry." I chuckled, covering my face. I guess I got a little too observant, and now I have to justify why I was looking at her the way I was. "It's just clothes aren't normally worn in your world."

"How come you wear clothes?" she asked.

"Because I don't have a coat like you do," I answered. "I'm what you may call a human."

"A what?" Ruby exclaimed, looking at me funny.

"Your world has ponies," I continued. "Earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns and alicorns. We in our world have people, or humans."

"Is that why you only have two hooves?"

"I don't have hooves." I took off one of my shoes and socks in order to prove my point. "This here is a foot and these things sticking out are toes." Ruby stared as I wiggled my toes. As she came closer, I continued to explain myself. "I can talk, too, as you've noticed. I also made you talk."

Ruby scrunched her nose up. "But I sure don't stink like you do."

"What?" I shot back. "I don't..." I stopped myself when I remembered where I went before I headed home. "Well, I was going to take a shower when I got back from the gym." I said. "But I didn't expect anyone to be here. Might as well take one now."

I walked across my bedroom, bypassing the mare and walking across the hall. As I entered the bathroom, I heard Ruby's walking for the first time. Her uneven steps intrigued me as I closed the door — but before I could lock it, it opened again.

"Oh, no!" I pointed at her. "You're not coming in with me."

"Why not?" she pouts.

"Humans don't like to be watched while they shower."

"This sure is a nice bathroom," Ruby said, clearly ignoring me.

"I'll show you around when I'm done showering, okay?" I promised through clenched teeth. I put both my hands on the door to close it but Ruby, using the strength of just a single hoof, slammed it against the wall. She pinned me between the door and the wall, knocking the wind out of me.

Why, oh why did I have to make her an Earth pony?

"Everything is so tall," she said. "How do you reach these things?"

"Don't touch anything," I mumbled, holding my head as I made my way out of my hiding place.

"What's this?" Ruby asks, looking in the bathtub. "'Head and Shoulders?' What do you do with this?"

"It's a brand of shampoo," I replied. "You rub it through your hair, or your mane in this case."

"I've never used this brand before."

"That's because it doesn't exist in Equestria."

"No reason I can't try it out," she said with a grin. She climbed into the shower and turned on the tap.

"Hey!" I called out. "I said don't touch anything!"

"Who's the mane-dresser here?" Ruby asked rhetorically. "I know what I'm doing." She bit down on the switch and, two seconds later, was screaming as a blast of icy cold water poured down on her. I covered my ears as she backed away from the spout. "How do you humans stand these cold showers!?" she cried, her mane and tail drooping from getting soaked.

I facepalmed. "You have to wait for the water to heat up."

"How long is that going to take?" Ruby shouted. "I'm freezing!"

"Just give it a few more seconds," I said to her. I walked closer to test the water with one hand, while turning the tap with the other. After a few more seconds, I felt the temperature of the water evening out. "Okay, it's warm now."

Ruby stepped into the stream and smiled. "Well, now, this is some way to wash your hair."

I opened the bottle of shampoo and offered it to her. "Why don't you try it out?"

She took it from me using only one hoof. How she was able to do that, I still cannot guess. She squirted it onto her hooves and ran it through her mane. Her expression soured at the pitiful amount of lather she comes up with, not even able to dig it into her own scalp.

"Here, let me help," I offer. She gave the bottle back to me and I held it upside down to squeeze some on top of her mane. The more I applied, the larger her smile got as she continued washing.

"Can you do my tail, too?" she asked.

"Certainly," I replied. I squirted some more into my hands and moved it around her tail. I never knew that washing a pony’s tail could be this much fun. Before long, I started humming to myself.

"What are you singing?" Ruby asked.

"Nothing, nothing," I said to her. As soon as I finished washing her tail, she stepped forward in the tub and rinsed herself.

"That sure was an interesting shampoo," she said. "I feel like my mane has been straightened out."

"I guess that much shampoo can do that to you," I said. "Now, would you please let me have my shower?"

"I have to dry my mane first," Ruby told me.

"Let me get the blow dryer," I instructed.

"No, I'm good," she replied.

Before I could say anything else, I was hit with a wall of water from her wet mane as she started shaking herself dry. She also covered me with the shampoo she forgot to wash from her tail. Well, at least I don't have to shower anymore.

"Do you have a curling iron?" she asked me.

Oh, yeah, I thought. I didn't make her hair naturally curly.

"What makes you think I have a curling iron?" I said as I grabbed a towel to dry my own hair with.

"Who do you live with?"

"I have a sister," I told her. "But she's away in college. Then again, she might have one in her room. I'll be right back."

I left her alone in the bathroom and, after I went back to my bedroom to change out of my wet clothes, I walked down the stairs to my sister's room. I sighed in relief when I found her curling iron in one of her drawers, then walked back upstairs to the bathroom.

"Are you sure you can use this?" I asked as I plugged it in. "This is a humans tool, not a pony's."

"You didn't make me a mane-dresser for nothing, you know," Ruby Shears reassured me.

She knows my mind too well. "Okay, you're the boss." I shrugged, then watch as my character wrapped a lock of her mane inside the iron and clamped it down with a hoof. My eyes and mouth widened at how well she could adapt to using a tool not meant for her own species. Then again, it is her talent and was something I distinctly made about her. She trotted on her free hooves to a mirror and I overlooked the job she does to her mane.

"How do I look?" she asked me, taking a strand out of the iron.

Oh no, she caught me again. What do I say to her? I never expected my own creation to be self-conscious about her own appearance but then again, I am the one who moulded and fashioned her.

"You're looking pretty," I told her. I wanted to end it with 'good,' but I felt that word would have demeaned her image.

"Aww," she beamed. "You know just what to say to a lady."

"Well, you are married," I reminded her with a blush.

"That doesn't mean I can flatter my creator now, can I?" she asked.

I said nothing. I chose not to make her perfect but she was happy with what I gave her. I suppose in a world of pastel-coloured magical equines, acceptance comes naturally. I let that sink in as she finished curling her mane. She spun her head around, allowing me to watch her curls in action. That husband of hers sure is one lucky stallion, I thought to myself.

"What do you have around here to eat?" she asked.

Oh, shoot! That pizza in the microwave must be stone cold by now.

"I cooked myself something quick," I replied. "But I don't think you'd be interested in it, though."

"Well, what is it?"

"It's pizza," I replied. "It's got pepperoni on it. You wouldn't like it."

"What's pepperoni?"

"You don't want to know." I move quickly to change the subject. "I know something you might like. You eat oats, don't you?"

"I don't have a choice," Ruby replied. "A lot of what I eat is oats."

"Then I've got something for you." I smiled. "Follow me."

I led her out if the bathroom and down the stairs to the kitchen. Still not used to my character using four legs to walk on instead of two, I increased my pace to keep up with her behind me. We travelled down the stairs and stopped in the kitchen, where I immediately opened the pantry.

"These should do," I told her, grabbing a cereal box. "How about some Cheerios? They're cereal made of oats."

"They sure look tasty," Ruby said, licking her lips.

"Let me pour you a bowl." I opened up a different cupboard.

"I don't think I can eat a bowl." Ruby shook her head.

"Okay, I'll just pour you half a bowl."

"No." Ruby was quick to correct me. "I mean that I don't think I can eat just one bowl."

"Let me get another, then."

"Have you got anything that could fit the whole box?"

I froze in my tracks until I finally processed what she said. She may be my little pony, but she has the appetite of a fully-grown Clydesdale! I opened the cupboard over the refrigerator, grabbed a mixing bowl and set it down on front of her.

I poured the entire, previously unopened, box of Cheerios inside the bowl — and as soon as the last oat falls out, Ruby tore into the cereal like a hungry dog. I was in shock and awe as she licked the bowl clean, letting out a monstrous belch when she was finished.

I lost my appetite after watching that, and threw my pizza in the bin while she was distracted.

"I guess you only eat like that when your husband isn't home?"

"Refund Check is huge on table manners." Ruby giggled.

I rolled my eyes. "You're right, he is a business pony after all."

"Do you have any ice cream?" she asked me.

"You're still hungry?" I gasped, holding my face. "What are you in the mood for? A giant brownie sundae?"

"I sure am!" she exclaimed.

I slapped my forehead. Even while I was being rhetorical, I know what her favourite food is. Who knew that these ponies absolutely loved sweets? How so many of them manage to stay in such great shape is beyond me.

"There's just one problem," I said, opening the freezer. "I'm afraid I'm all out of ice cream."

"Let's get some, then."

"Uh, Ruby?" I sigh. "I can't take you with me. No offence, but if my neighbours catch me riding a purple pony to the ice cream store, I'll be put in a straitjacket so fast my head will spin."

"Wait, you wanted to ride me?" Ruby shouted fiercely. "What kind of sick creator are you!?"

Boy, did that come out wrong. "I didn't mean it that way!" I tried to defend myself. "I mean, yes, people here ride horses. I used to ride horses myself, but that was when I was five."

"Is there another way?" Ruby asked, still sneering at me.

"We can take my car," I told her. "You're going to have to be absolutely quiet, though. Honestly, it's a miracle that no one has called the police on me yet."

I opened the front door and looked around the houses on my block. Happy that the coast clear, I led Ruby out of the house and unlocked the car, both of us getting in.

"Wow." Ruby gasped as she climbed onto the back seat. "This thing sure is roomy."

"Okay, now, hold still," I instructed her as I positioned her upright in the seat. I then pulled the seatbelt over her barrel and inserted it into the slot with a click. "This keeps you safe on your seat. It's a bit tight but it's better than cracking your head open." After I closed the back door, I walked around to the driver's side, opened the door, got in the car and put the key in my ignition.

"Hey, isn't that Cheese Sandwich?" Ruby exclaimed as the car stereo came to life.

I was thrown off for a moment before I made the connection to the CD that the car was playing. "Oh, this?" I questioned. "Kind of. This is 'Weird Al.' You can say he's kind of our equivalent to Cheese Sandwich from Equestria. I bet your kids are huge fans of him."

Ruby nodded. "They sure are. In fact, they want Refund and I to get him to perform at their cuteceañeras."

As I pulled out to the driveway, it hit me. I already know what her talent is along with her husband's. She has brought up her children, to whom I gave blank flanks — and therefore clean slates.

I can have them be anything I want them to be. Should I tell her I have no clue what to make of their talents yet? How will she react if it is up for her creator to decide and not her?

Those thoughts screamed through my mind as I drove down the road. I saw the sign for the ice cream parlour up ahead and turned into the parking lot, pulled into a space and turning off the ignition.

"Wait here,” I told her. Ruby nodded as I got out of my car and walked inside the shop. I bought the biggest hot fudge brownie sundae that could fit in one cup and a soft serve scoop for myself. I bag my purchases and walk outside — a walk which quickly turns into a full-blown sprint when I see a little girl peering into my car. A man whom I assume is her father approaches her side.

"Excuse me," I called to them, indignant. "That's my car."

"And that's my pony!" the girl pressed her face against my window.

"It's a stuffed horse," I lied. I look in the car to see, to my dismay, that Ruby is backed away to the other side, shivering.

The little girl turns to me with a pout on her face. "Mister," she demanded. "I want that pony!"

"She's not for sale," I replied.

"How dare you!" the father yelled at me and stepped in front of her. I was praying he would side against her.

So much for my joining the seminary.

"She can't have her!" I stood firm. "Now, you listen to me—"

"No, you listen!" the father interrupted me. "What's a grown man like you doing with a life-sized pony in your car? Don't you think it would rather be with a sweet little girl like mine?"

"For one thing," I felt a twinge of anger, something that I have never felt before. "The pony is a 'she,' not an 'it.' And I may be a grown man, but I'm the only human she trusts. Just look at how scared she is of your daughter!"

The father pulls out his mobile phone. "Okay, we're doing this the hard way. I'm calling the cops."

"What?!" I shouted. I have to act fast, or I could end up in the slammer. "You're crazy!" I told the father. "Put that away!"

"Then give us the horse."

"Yeah!" the girl screamed. "NOW!"

"'Give?'" I repeat that one word. "What, you expect me to just hand my pony over to you?"

"Your pony?" the father sneered scornfully. "What did you do, create her or something?"

"As a matter of fact, I did." I gave him a smug smile. "She answers to the name Ruby Shears."

"That's the dumbest name I've ever heard!" the girl criticised me. "I wanna call her Missy Purple Pants."

"Well I'm afraid you're not, because she isn't your pony." I rolled my eyes. "Now, if you'll excuse me—"

I turned to leave but the father grabbed my shirt collar. "I am not letting you leave this spot until I have that pony," he huffed.

"Then we can stay here all night if we have to," I replied, tugging my shirt out of his grip.

"Daddy," the girl whined. "Make him give me Missy Purple Pants!"

"Ruby Shears," I corrected her.

"Missy! Purple! PANTS!" she screamed — and before I knew it, I felt my toes get crushed as she smashed her foot on top of them.

"You little brat!" I growl.

"Don't you dare talk to my daughter that way!" the father yelled.

But before he could lay a finger on me as well, my car door opened and Ruby crawled out. Her brow was lowered as she came face to face with the toe-crushing little girl.

"Daddy! Daddy!" the girl squealed, jumping up and down. "Look! It wants to come home with us!"

Ruby took a deep breath and let it out before pointing a hoof at her. "You can call me an 'it,' you can give me a stupid name, and you can put a price tag on me. But you..." she suddenly raised her voice. "NEVER! EVER! HURT! MY! CREATOR!" The girl backed up with a whimper but Ruby was not done yet. Before I could warn her that the girl's father was sneaking up behind her, she wound up her legs and bucked him as hard as she could.

As for where her buck landed, I can safely say that his daughter can enjoy being an only child for the foreseeable future.

Seizing our chance, we both jumped into the car and close the doors. I started the car and floored it out of the parking lot, turning back one last time to see the man hobbling back to his SUV with his daughter pounding her fists on the bonnet.

"I owe you one, Ruby," I tell her, slowing down to a more comfortable – not to mention legal – speed.

"I wouldn't exist if it wasn't for you," Ruby replied, giving me a sincere smile. "Isn't that enough?"

I reached into the bag I got from the ice cream store and handed Ruby her sundae. "I don't think so," I replied.

She finished her treat before I even pulled into my driveway. I still cannot get over how fast she can put away her food. We both walked back into my house together and made our way back to my bedroom. She waited while I retreated into the bathroom so that I could change into my pyjamas.

"It's been such a long day." I yawned as I entered my bedroom again. "I've gotta hit the hay, I have work tomorrow."

"Actually, uh, I have a request," Ruby said out of the blue.

"What do you want?" I asked her.

"Do you think I can have a good night cuddle?"

My eyes widened. That was one of the last things I would have expected my character to ask of me. Then again, since I created her, I should know what another creation of mine would do to her.

"Why do you ask?" I queried.

"Well..." she replied. "It's just I never go to sleep without one, and Refund is always there to do it."

"All right, then," I told her, slipping under the covers. "Show me how your husband would hold you. I promise you it's not cheating."

"I know it isn't." she giggled. "Why do you think I asked you?"

She slithered beneath the blanket and pulled me in. I wrapped my arms around her like a giant, living stuffed animal and we both fell asleep together within moments.

My alarm clock could ring, my house could down, or Hell could freeze over — but at that moment, nothing would ever make me want to let go of Ruby Shears.

Author's Note:

Hey, all. Yoshi89 here. I'm an accountant by day but a writer in my spare time. I chose to be a part of this collab because I'm always looking for ways to challenge myself and to be a better writer. I chose to interact with Ruby Shears for this collab so I can exercise her personality and develop her relationship with my other OCs.

Out of the stories I've written, I'm perhaps most proud of Little Filly Blue, which won third place in the Poniverse Hearts and Hooves Day Contest. I also wrote a collab entry for trombrony98's Thirteen Little Ponies, as seen here.

Comments

[Dustchu]

Yoshi89

I have to say, this one was really fun to read, I liked it!
And oh my god, that little brat and her dad, wtf even was their problem?
Missy Purple Pants... no... just... just no, please.

Awesome job dude.

[unknowncape7377]

6491312
Yeah they can't legally make you give her up just because that girl wants her (at least where I'm at)