• Published 14th Oct 2016
  • 1,333 Views, 34 Comments

Welcome to Tatzlquestria - Guardian Talon

Events from around an Equestria where half of the population are now tatzlponies.

  • ...


Princess Celestia sniffled and stretched out on the balcony. With everypony being sick she had a little more free time to herself and she intended to enjoy it. Even if she wasn't feeling her best.

A tingle of magic and familiar noise drew her attention to the side. So much for enjoying her time. "Hello Discord. You're looking well."

"CELESTIA!" He grabbed her head in his hands and smiled at her for a moment, before looking up a little. "Still under the weather I see."

She looked up as well and saw a small storm cloud above her head. She pulled back and used a tongue to push the cloud away before it had a chance to rain on her. She stood up and looked him over again and saw no signs of illness. "I take it you're not affected by this?"

"Oh I was, but I got over it some time ago."

"I see." After thinking about it for a moment she narrowed her eyes at him. "Discord?"


"Are you responsible for this?" She took a step forward as her mouth split open and her tongues got ready to lash out.

"You know me better then that Celestia." He leaned over the railing. "Despite the little bit of chaos at the start of all of this." He swept an arm across the cityscape. "It has been rather boring." He looked down at the streets and the ponies milling about. Most of them were lethargic tatzlponies but a few did have some energy and a few others were normal ponies, often being helped by a tatzlpony. "Over all, I would say that there has been a disturbing lack of chaos in Equestria since ponies started getting sick."

She relented with a snort and made her way inside. A serving cart had a pitcher of chilled milk and a tray of pastries. She laid down on a cushion and used her magic to pour herself a glass of milk and grab a brownie. "I suppose I should actually thank you."

He started choking on the cookie he had just bitten into. A snap of magic got him his own glass of milk to wash down the crumbs. "Thank me?"

She finished her snack and looked out over the balcony. "The resistance that the tatzlponies have against this illness has allowed Equestria to continue operating at a reasonable level and more importantly, those in critical condition have been able to receive the help they need." A snort caused an ear to twitch in Discords direction.

He started giggling and drew Celestia's attention back to himself. "You seriously want to thank me for this?"

"Yes." She nodded. "Thank you Discord. Whether you-" Anything else she had to say was cut off as he burst out laughing.

"Oh. Oh this is too good." He wiped a tear from his eye as he floated closer to her. "You know what's funny?" All he got for a response was her brow furrowed a little. "Nopony ever asked me why."

"Excuse me?"

"It's ok, Celestia, you can't help it. I don't mind, just as long as I'm upwind." He got an annoyed groan out of her. "But nopony ever thought to ask why I went through so much extra trouble to make them stay tatzlponies."

"Other then your twisted sense of humor and a desire to cause chaos?"

"If that was all I wanted then I simply would have used a bit of magic to make a few and they would turn back once it got boring."

Celestia rolled her eyes and sighed. "Ok, Discord. Why did you put the extra effort into permanently changing some of my little ponies?"

He floated around behind her until their heads were side by side. "Well there's a little bit of a story behind it."

She took a moment to gauge the time and waved a hoof for him to proceed once he was sitting across from her again.

"Well." He started out as he pressed his fingers together and smiled at her. "You remember that little adventure I had with Twilight and Cadance shortly before this whole thing started?"

She nodded. "The one where you got the flower to make that tea."

"That's the one." He pointed at her for emphasis. "And did she tell about how I had gotten sick on that trip?"

"You were pretending to be sick to get attention. Wait..." She tapped her chin with a hoof. "Yes. She also mentioned that you did actually get sick from that wurm."

"Yes well. As I laid there in my little quarantine bubble thinking about things" -He put a fist to his chin and looked at the floor with his brow furrowed as if he was deep in thought.- "it occurred to me. I was sick but that tatzlwurm was acting as if all it had was a bad cold." He jumped up into the air again. "Once I was feeling better I decided to take another trip there. However, before I got there I came across several sick creatures running about. None of them were actually running mind you. Few of them were doing very well in fact." He tipped his head towards the balcony. "As you've already seen."

She glanced at the balcony for a moment. "This disease is the one you got from that wurm?"

"Cadance's sneeze guard may have stopped it from spreading while I was being taken care of, but even with all four of you trying your best, it was going to get here eventually. Now you may not believe that I would have any interest in the sake of Equestria but I think we can agree that there is one pony I do care about." With a wave of his hand, he was holding a plush tatzlpony. A yellow pegasus with a long pink mane.

"Now I could have given the tea to you like I planned." He held up a hand. "Or I could have given it to Fluttershy to keep her safe." He held up his other hand. "But why choose when I have enough for everypony and just see what happens then?" He settled down and looked at her with a smile. "After all, isn't sharing, one of those things you ponies value so much?"

"So you actually were trying to help Equestria?"

"And amuse myself." He reclined in the air with his eyes closed and hands behind his head. "As for why I was laughing earlier. After you declared tea off limits, I was having too much fun watching the panic and decided to try other methods. Until you found out and we made our agreement. I take away the tea and you don't look for a cure." He cracked an eye open and smiled at her. "And since you're a mare of your word, I know you'll never go back on it." He spun around to face her directly. "I turned you into a tatzlpony for the rest of your eternal life, and now, even got you to thank me for it." He moved away from her and started laughing again as he floated half way to the ceiling.

Celestia laid there in stunned silence for a moment. When she recovered she jumped to her hooves and looked for Discord but he was already gone. She slammed her tail into the floor hard enough to make the guards outside her door jump.

"Dammit Discord!"

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Comments ( 17 )

Nice. I'm glad to see another story with tatzlponies. We need more of 'em.

Cute :twilightsmile:

And yes, we need more tentacled tongue ponies. They're rather funny :pinkiesmile:

There is ONE way I know they can change back to normal ponies, just go through the mirror to the Human Equestria world and then back to Pony Equestria and they would be back to normal, after all the mirror would change them back to their original forms after going back through said portal.

An interesting idea. But what if it turned them into tatzlpeople when they got there?
Joking aside, I imagine the mirror doesn't put that much thought into things or Twilight would be a unicorn again.

7642688 Okay fine, take the fun out of it, thought I was thinking also of what if some ponies who hate that they got turned into Tatzleponies and then things turned dark, like say if a colt of filly was disowned by their family because they turned into a Tatzlepony or if they were attacked because of what they were now, I was thinking that they might see being a Tatzlepony as a curse and might try to end it all then so they wouldn't be like that anymore. Sure I got nothing against Tatzleponies it's just things like this I hate where the ponies are FORCED into this, I would think a blast of Harmony powers would UNDO the chaos effects of the tea since Discord was the one who made said tea anyway.

It seems you put a lot of thought into this.
But wouldn't this be about the same as a pony being born a different breed? An earthpony in a family of unicorns for example. Or a pegasus being shunned for loosing a wing in an accident.
Not saying it's right, but humans have and still use excuses even more flimsy and pathetic then that.
Personally I like to imagine Equestria being a bit more friendly then that, for the most part.

As a side note. Although Discord created the tea, he did so with more mundane methods.

7642953 True, but you forget this is a Magical Tea that TURNED Earth, Pegasus, Unicorn AND Alicorn ponies into Tatzleponies, how the BUCK aren't any of those ponies not pissed off or depressed so much that they can't stand what has happened to me, trust me I know what depression can do to a person, I've been that a few times, so I know what I'm talking about.

In the story where they were actually changed. Celestia banning tea was enough to make them so sad over the loss of their national beverage that they didn't care about minor things like who was what.
After that I imagine it went something like
"So nothing is trying to enslave us or destroy the world this week?"
"No. Just some of us have tentacles now."
"I can live with that."
If something isn't actively attacking them, the ponies of Equestria seem to get over things pretty quickly.


Well, except Zecora.

Only the tatzlponies burrow. They do so to find their favorite food, chaurus eggs.

7743500 But who's to say that the regular ponies won't join them too to live under/in the mountain?:trixieshiftright:

7811114 not even gonna try...

I don't want to know:facehoof:

Yea, Im not one of the only few anymore :D

Do you have any idea how this thing started?

I mean, Tatzlwurms aren't even in Skyrim. I don't even think there's a mod for that (which is impressive).

Do you mean Applejacks love of chaurus eggs? Just seems to be a few random edits for fun, as far as I know.

No actually. While part of it was that some people, such as myself, would enjoy such a thing, her slight hesitation was to suggest that Discord was too close to the mark for her comfort.
As much as I'm tempted to leave that in there... fixed.

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